Third Time is the Charm
by Dr. Becky Sharp
Summary: The final book in the Passion and Perseverance trilogy, Third Time is the Charm begins a few months after Beth has left the Big Apple for Boston in an attempt to distance herself from the pain of Darcy's betrayal. Just when she feels like she's finally moved on it's time for Jane and Charles' wedding, so back she treks into Darcy's world, but she doesn't come alone.
1. Author's Note

Today is the big day!

Beth and Darcy's story is finally coming to a close and boy, has it been a wild ride. I struggled *a lot* writing TTTC. These characters have been with me for over 300,000 words now and it's hard and very bittersweet for me to let them go. I wanted to keep this final installment more focused on repairing their relationship and less on the outward drama that has been affecting them up until this point; don't worry, there are still some things - some people - who need to be addressed... It's even hard now to find the words to say how many times I vacillated over this plot-line. I had so many ideas in my head, and yet this is the way the characters seemed to want to go... All that to say - I hope you enjoy it. I hope I've done their story - their love - justice. I look forward to your feedback as always.

Thank you for being a part of my journey.

xx,

Rebecca

PS - My goal is to update new chapters every Thursday and Sunday. This is not a guarantee - it's summer and I have a couple places that I'm going, CE courses that I'm taking, and just life... So, please don't be upset if I miss a day. I will try my very best not to. :)


	2. Preface

Preface

"What the fuck?" Darcy cursed noticing that the door to his apartment was cracked open, as Charles and he exited the elevator.

"Is someone here?" Charles asked, concerned.

"Not that I know of…" Darcy responded, trailing off as his heart picked up speed at the thought of one person who did have a key, who could be here looking for him.

 _Beth._

He glanced over at Charles, who from the looks of it, was thinking the same thing. Pushing through the open door, he moved quickly into the apartment, eager to see her, to apologize for what he had said.

"Beth! Are you here?" he yelled as he strolled purposefully through the apartment looking for any sign of her.

When he walked into the bedroom, he stopped in shock, seeing the state of his bed, a bed that had been made yesterday morning when he left and should have still remained that way considering he spent last night at Charles' place.

" _What the fuck…"_ he muttered as he saw the definitively feminine clothes strewn about his floor. He followed the trail of clothes into the empty bathroom, Charles not far behind him.

"What happened?" Charles asked, looking around him in complete confusion.

"I have no fucking clue. This was all clean yesterday when I left to for work, and I haven't been back since, but clearly someone has, and whomever let them in is going to have to deal with me," Darcy threatened in response, his mind already making its way towards the correct conclusion.

 _These weren't Beth's clothes and he had an unfortunate suspicion to whom they belonged._

He turned abruptly and stalked passed Charles, his angry footsteps falling hard on wooden floors as he walked straight for the room he knew would contain the answer to this mess.

He clenched his jaw, seeing the door to his studio wide open. Rage blurred his vision at the invasion of his privacy; he didn't even hear or realize Charles' footsteps following not far behind him.

Walking into the room, he turned to see the image he had begun to dread - _Caroline._

She was lounging on the couch, naked, giving him a coy smile.

Anger radiated off of him as his eyes met hers; he could almost feel the rage burning through his gaze. There was no possibility of her thinking that he was happy or aroused to see her, that was clear.

"Get the fuck out of my house," Darcy said, his voice low and deadly, making it clear who was in charge.

 _God, how he was so close to picking up the stool next to him and throwing it across the room, especially when her response to his order was a throaty laugh, as if he were just a little boy throwing a fit._

The amount of pleasure that he got by what happened next is impossible to describe.

" _Caroline?! Oh my God,"_ Charles' shocked voice exclaimed from the doorway, as he turned his face away shielding his vision from looking at his sister lying naked in his best friend's house.

Her confident smirk effectively wiped from her face realizing that Darcy hadn't come home alone. She quickly sat up and covered herself with the sheet she had left draped on the couch.

"Charles, what are you doing here?" she spat, vehemently.

" _Me?_ What are you doing here? _And why are you naked?"_ Charles asked in confused disgust.

Darcy let a smug smile spread over his face, his eyes still sending Caroline the message of complete and total disinterest, mixed with humor at her embarrassment. He enjoyed the dark scowl that she sent back.

 _Now, that was the Caroline that he knew; the one who was always using you as a part of her plan._

For how much work she put into her façade in order to get her away, he was always so shocked at how quickly it crumbled when something truly unexpected happened to thwart her. That was always her downfall; all of her best laid, most well-executed plans disintegrated at the shock of failure as her anger consumed all of her emotional capacity, preventing her from keeping up her ruse.

He watched her with narrowed eyes as she stalked over to him, stopping right in front of his face to whisper, "We aren't done…"

With those parting words, she sidestepped him and walked to the door, ignoring her still-shocked brother as she moved right passed him without any further acknowledgement.

"Caroline," Darcy called to her, his voice menacing, "we've been done for a long time. Don't come back."

If this were Ancient Greece, her stare would have turned him to stone, but, as it was, her enraged look only brought a bigger smile to his face. Turning, she left the room, slamming the door behind her.

The sound of the door shook Charles from his shocked stupor as he looked at Darcy for a brief moment before turning toward the door to go after his sister.

"Caroline, what the hell is —" Charles began to yell before Darcy grabbed his arm and interrupted him.

"Let her go," Darcy said calmly, "I can explain."

"Well, someone had better!" Charles exclaimed, his voice bordering on anger, which was a rarity for him. At least he had stopped from leaving the room to pursue his sister for answers.

 _God only knows what she would have told him._

Darcy waited for another thirty second, even though Charles was staring at him impatiently. When he heard the front door close as Caroline left, Darcy walked over in front of Charles and opened the studio door, exiting the studio into the hallway. Charles followed him as he walked into the dining room.

"Darcy, what is going on? Why was Caroline here, like that?" Charles asked again.

Ignoring the question for the moment, Darcy pulled out two glasses from the bar, tossing them carelessly onto the countertop as he grabbed the bottle of scotch and pulled the stopper out.

"Scotch?" he asked Charles.

"Shit…make it a double," Charles responded, the disbelief and astonishment over what he had just witnessed still having trouble sinking in.

Darcy quickly poured them each generous glasses of the liquor, taking a deep swig before addressing his friend again. "I have all the answers that you want and I will explain everything to you, but you have to promise me one thing," Darcy said, his voice deathly still with the gravity of what he was about to ask.

"Ok, sure, anything," Charles said quickly, willing to do anything at this point to understand what had just happened.

"I need you to promise me that you won't tell Jane about what just happened," Darcy began, "don't worry, she knows most of what I'm about to tell you, but after everything that happened with Beth last night, after everything that you know that I said to her, I don't want her to ever know that Caroline was here."

"Ok…"

"I need to make amends for what I did last night and I don't want her to ever have to walk into this apartment and imagine me coming home to find Caroline, naked, in my studio. I can only imagine what she thinks of me right now; I can't bear the idea of her having even the smallest thought that there is still something between Caroline and I."

 _Even just saying the words out loud sent a shiver of dread through him; his heart, an organ that he had all but given up on, clenching painfully at the thought of hurting Beth even more than he already had last night._

"Ok, I promise," Charles agreed softly, "now, what do you mean by 'still' something between you and my sister?"

Darcy took a long drink of his scotch, preparing for the long, much-overdue explanation that was about to follow.


	3. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 _You are cordially invited to the marriage of_

 _Jane Marie Bennet_

 _and_

 _Charles David Bingley_

 _to take place the Twentieth of May_

 _Ceremony and Reception to take place at_

 _Blue Hill at Stone Barns_

Beth stared at the words on the invitation as she waited for her Uber to arrive. Every day for the past four weeks, Beth had stared at the words letter-pressed on the thick, ivory paper as she waited for her morning cup of tea to steep.

 _Jane and Charles. Twentieth of May._

It was a week and a half away and every time she read over it, the words became more and more suffocating. She read them with her eyes, she read them in her mind, some days she read them out loud, some days she read them backwards, some days she traced the letters with her fingertip, but without fail, every day and every way that she read the words, they condensed and absorbed into her as one solitary and cohesive unit: _Darcy._

It had been over four months – almost five – since she had seen him, since she had left him. She'd gotten on the train to Boston and never looked back. Locking her emotions and all thoughts of what had happened that day deep down inside hadn't been easy, but she'd quickly learned that as hard as it was to sequester them, it was much harder on herself to let them roam free.

She'd always considered herself a strong person, in spite of her weakness around Darcy, but looking back, her past-self had no idea what being strong really meant.

 _Now she did._

It was a difficult perspective to master, there was no question. In hindsight, she now considered it a stroke of luck that she had moved in January, the coldest time of the year; the cold froze her face before her tears even had a chance to fall and the desire to remain indoors prevented any spontaneous breakdowns from being witnessed by random strangers - and there were quite a few of those in the beginning. It probably took most of her first month here to really work through the kinks of putting her own emotional mask in place.

 _But she'd learned how to do that from the best._

When the train arrived in Boston that night, she took a cab to the AirBNB condo that she had reserved for the week while in route; a hotel would have been easier to track, if someone had been looking. Arriving at her destination, she created a new Gmail account and sent an email to Jane, letting her know that she was safe and that she just needed some time. She apologized for leaving Jane to make excuses and clean up the mess of her sudden departure, but she needed space to herself, for herself. Ending the email, she told her sister she'd be in touch with her new cell phone number soon but only with Jane's express promise to not give _anyone_ any of her new contact information. Jane's instructions were to tell their family that Beth had been given a new job opportunity in Boston where they would need her to start right away.

She could only imagine the hell that their mother was putting Jane through for pretending to not know anything. It was the only way to handle Irene; if she knew that Jane had more information, she wouldn't rest until she'd extricated it all from her daughter.

No, knowing Irene, she probably was more irritated than worried at Beth. She could hear her mother's voice now – _'Only Beth would do something like this'_ or ' _I told you that girl was trouble John.'_ Her mother would have no qualm writing off what was necessary for her sanity as something that was thoughtlessly immature.

 _It was something that Beth could live with._

The alternative – telling her mother the truth about everything, on the other hand, was not. What had hurt was not being able to tell her father. She knew he was worried about her and she knew he would never buy the story that Jane was instructed to give. He'd seen her and noticed too much over those last few months in the city. Jane had mentioned him in almost every email that they exchanged for the first couple of weeks after she had left – how he always asked about her and how her new position was going.

Beth had finally caved and emailed him from her work account; he didn't deserve to be cut off even if she couldn't tell him the whole story. They'd kept a weekly contact – emails with superficial questions and conversation; their lack of depth made her heart hurt, but opening up everything to him would open a wound she was afraid she'd never be able close again. At least, this way, he knew she was safe and ok – relatively speaking, after she'd scared him by abruptly leaving like she had.

 _Desperate times…_

Beth had to laugh at herself for how she had behaved - like she was some sort of undercover spy, protecting her identity. In retrospect, what was she thinking? That Darcy was going to come after her? That thought must have been from her emotionally traumatized brain; a brain that still lived in romantic movies where her lover would travel to the ends of the Earth to find her and win her back. No, rational Beth knew that the man who had moved on with his "hated" ex-girlfriend only _hours_ after breaking up with her, would not be looking to find or come after her.

She hadn't heard from him – _not one word;_ she told herself that she didn't want to and that it was a good thing. Over time, she acknowledged the truth that she wasn't sure if it had alleviated or in fact exacerbated her hurt.

Thinking back, the first few days in Boston were a black hole of anger and depression; one that would have continued its downward vacuum, pulling all of the life out of her, if it hadn't been for Col – the thought of him bringing a smile to her face.

 _Colin Dempsey._

Patrick's twin brother and major hunk, according to the media. To her? He had been her savior, and now, her only friend. Pat had responded to her impromptu email three days later, saying that he wasn't going to be able to make it to Boston until the week of the Dempsey Contest, but he'd called Christine, his head of Human Resources at the Dempsey Center, and said she would be giving Beth a call in the next day or two to set up a formal interview. After that, life went on – or so they say.

She was brought into a PR position at the Dempsey Center to work alongside Colin. She hadn't even known Pat had a brother, but after meeting Colin, she could see how similar they were. Even though they weren't identical twins, they both had that same movie-star, make-your-knees-weak smile, the same color hair – although Colin kept his a bit shorter; the biggest difference she noticed was their eyes – Colin's were a deep green, whereas Pat's were just brown. Colin was friendly and outgoing like his brother, but didn't enjoy being in the spotlight like Pat did. They'd done a few acting gigs together when they were younger. Colin faded out of that lifestyle once their mom got sick and let his slightly older brother take the spotlight.

They'd founded the Center together, Pat being the public face for their project and Col, being less of a celebrity than his brother, the driving force behind the day-to-day operations.

It was a much different world of PR than what she was used to. She traded in celebrities and parties for cancer survivors and charitable fundraisers. Not that she hadn't enjoyed her work for Gardner, but she felt that her new position brought more meaning to her life.

 _Or maybe that's just what she kept telling herself to stay convinced that she was in a better place now._

Beth laughed to herself – 'a better place.' What did that even mean? Most days she felt like she wasn't even in a place; she was just floating through, trying to not let anything from the outside world touch her. She kept her experiences limited – mostly just going to work and coming home, maybe the occasional run. She kept her relationships and interactions to practically non-existent. She was friendly with her co-workers – cordial, but never so much that they invited her out to do things with them. _Anymore at least._ They had in the beginning, when she was new. Then, there was no way she could have gone; every day had been a battle to make it through the workday without breaking down. After she got home, the floodgates would open until exhaustion from crying would put her to sleep, allowing her recharge for the cycle to begin again the following morning.

The battle hadn't stopped; it only became mundane. Like a video game level that, as you repeatedly challenge it, you learn where every pit and booby-trap and enemy are waiting and at some point, you know it so well that you finally beat the level and move on.

 _That point hadn't come yet; she still hadn't figured out how to beat her level of heartbreak._

Every day she deflected and avoided all of the traps that would cause her to remember and cause her to break. But every day she got home, and even though the crying had subsided – for the most part, the hurt remained the same.

She'd been in no condition to form any relationship – even a friendship, at that time. Her only real and substantial interaction was with Jane, which she also kept on a limited basis. She talked to her sister once or twice a week usually and the unspoken rule was that Darcy was never mentioned. Beth never complained to her, never cried to her, never led her to believe that anything was wrong. She'd done enough of that; this was no longer Jane's burden to help her bear.

And then there was Colin. It was obvious that something bad - something really bad – had happened in New York, prompting her abrupt departure and her request for a job from his brother, but he never pressed her. When he'd been introduced to her and welcomed her to the company, he'd been overly welcoming, yet completely professional; in spite of the fact his eyes told her that he was curious to know what had happened to make her move, to make her want to work with them. He never asked, never hinted - _God bless his soul_.

It had been a slow process, but not knowing hardly anyone in the city made it easier for her to shut herself off. She didn't turn cold and callous like Darcy had after Caroline left him, but her warmth and cordiality was only skin deep. She was determined not to let anyone in ever again.

That had been four months ago. Now, she struggled with the notion that her resolve had begun to crack.

It had been slow at first, which is probably why she hadn't noticed how much it had progressed until now. It had started with a simple "How are you today?" Every day since her training period had ended, Colin would stop in her office each morning and ask how she was doing, obviously concerned about her after whatever it was that she'd been through. He'd seen her and worked with her most days during her training and even a blind person could tell that something traumatic had happened.

At some point, a small, pleasant conversation began to follow; they talked about trivial things like the weather, and work, and how she was enjoying Boston. A slow trickle of information exchanged before they then moved on to their normal work day.

 _At first._

As the weeks passed, that conversation grew longer and went deeper than the simple, superficial 'Hey, how's it going?' It was slow; it felt natural like a spigot slowly being turned allowing the hesitant trickle of information to become a consistent and steady flow. Maybe, subconsciously, a part of her deep down was looking for a friend, someone to connect with after four months of solitary confinement. In spite of herself and the walls she was trying to build, she'd begun to open up a little about what had happened with Darcy. Thankfully, Colin never pushed the subject, never asked questions; he just listened and acknowledged her, knowing that anything more would push her right back onto the other side of her cozy wall.

The morning chats soon began to involve Colin bringing her a cup of coffee. _They also began to involve her calling him Col._ If, for whatever reason, he didn't stop by, Beth knew it was because he just wasn't coming into the center that day.

Coffee meant that their conversations lengthened even more; Col would sit in her office and talk to her while he finished his morning cup of Joe. There were a few times when Beth had been concerned about the forty-five-minute delayed start to her workday…every day. But, he was the boss, what was she going to say?

That's where she was at right now – comfortably and complacently alone, enjoying her few minutes every morning of the semblance of meaningful human interaction; it was enough to get her by and right now that's all she wanted.

 _But you can't always get what you want._

Sometimes, she felt like she must be doomed to always learn that the hard way.

Yesterday had started like every other day for the past however many weeks – the concept of time was beginning to fade as it became less and less important to her.

Tea, then work, then Colin and coffee…except it hadn't been the normal Colin and coffee. He'd come into her office on edge and nervous. She'd been working there a decent amount of time, and she'd seen him almost every day over that decent amount of time, which meant that she'd seen him on edge before. Whether it was from work stuff or things with the clinic, he would knock on her door irritated or frustrated, but always eager to talk to her and share with her, sometimes wanting her opinion, other times just wanting an ear to listen.

 _This time was different._

This time he was nervous; he was anxious about whatever he'd come in there wanting to talk about and that should have been the first warning sign.

"Do you have a minute?" he'd asked her. It was an odd question because they literally talked every morning – of course she had a minute; she stopped scheduling things between eight and eight-forty-five.

"Of course," Beth replied, hesitantly. "Is everything ok?" She really was starting to get concerned.

 _What if she wasn't doing her job well enough? What if she'd made a mistake? What if he had to fire her?_

"Oh yeah, yeah," he over-eagerly tried to reassure her, "everything is completely fine – more than fine even. Yup, going great."

"Ok…" she drawled. "So, what's going on then?"

"Oh, not much. How are you this morning?" he asked, taking a sip of his coffee that was still too hot. Beth watched as he winced, pulling away from the cup and the liquid that had burned his tongue.

"I'm ok," she began. If he wasn't going to come out with it, she wasn't going to pry. "Just trying to get everything squared away as far as the upcoming events for the clinic so that it's not too crazy while I'm gone for Jane's wedding."

Colin's lips pursed as he nodded his head. Even though he responded, Beth could tell that there was something he wanted to say – something that was on the tip of his tongue that he was just struggling to get out.

"Actually, there were a couple of things that I wanted to go over—" Beth continued before he cut her off.

"What are you doing Friday night?" His words coming out in a rush, as though they'd just been able to narrowly escape the confines of his mouth.

 _The question alone should have been her second warning._

But, she'd been so closed off for so long now out of necessity for her sanity and survival, the thought of someone wanting to pursue a deeper relationship with her was about as foreign of an idea to her as microeconomics.

She paused for a second to think, with no sign that she understood the implications of the question or her answer. "Most likely nothing," Beth replied, chewing her lip. _She wasn't doing anything – she never was._ "Do you need me to do something? Is there an event that you want me to attend or cover? I can be available." She continued at his slight hesitation to respond.

"Woah…" Col laughed, nervously, "I don't _need_ you to do anything." His eyes broke from hers as he looked down at his still steaming coffee for a second before meeting her gaze again. "I would _like_ you to go to dinner with me."

She'd missed all the signs, all the warnings that said this was coming.

 _Every. Single. One._

She'd been closed off from the world, enjoying the subtly growing friendship between them. But, in trying to shut out her emotions, she'd let herself be blind to those of people around her. She'd managed to close off her emotions pretty well, but apparently, at the expense of becoming ignorant of everyone else's.

What happened next was embarrassing, awkward, and yet hysterical. _Because that's what you do when you have no tears left to cry – you laugh._

It had taken a second for his words…no, their implication to register, and when it did, she inhaled her mouthful of coffee down the wrong pipe, bursting into a coughing fit, her lungs trying to rid themselves of the unwanted liquid invasion. She hadn't inhaled all of it though, which meant the rest of the coffee that was still in her mouth had sprayed over her desk and onto her white blouse.

Colin had stood up the second she began coughing, rounding her desk and gently patting her on the back, asking her if she was ok.

 _Trying to talk while you are choking is never a good idea._

But, she had; her attempt had made the irritation to her throat worse, so she'd just frantically nodded her head trying to make the situation less embarrassing. Col began to grab tissues cleaning up the coffee off of her desk and the papers on in.

 _And then came the awkward part._

In an attempt to continue to help her while she struggled to regain her breath and her voice, his hands moved to wiping the coffee, first off of hers, and then off of her shirt; which was fine, until he got to the last few spots that had landed on the top of her right breast. He began to rub over them, determined to clean her shirt before it stained, only realizing after about thirty seconds that he was really just rubbing her chest.

Beth, on the other hand, had frozen the second his hand had moved there. She knew he wasn't trying to put any moves on her. Well, no, he was – but only in that he was trying to ask her out to dinner.

As soon as Col realized what he was doing – where he was touching her – his hand pulled back and his gaze turned to hers. The warm mossy green of his familiar and friendly eyes staring into hers, waiting and wondering if he just completely blew the slim chance that he'd had of her saying yes.

"Sorry," he mumbled, sheepishly, his embarrassed grin softening his face.

Beth started for a moment and then she'd started to laugh. Her desire to keep coughing made the effort even easier, but the entire situation had triggered so many emotions that she'd tried to shut off; the stress of their release forcing her to laugh in order to cope.

 _She also had no intention of making Col feel any more uncomfortable._

His grin turned into a laugh to match hers, and soon they both had tears in their eyes from the seemingly uncontrollable laughter. Their mindless hilarity lasted for a few minutes before they both began to calm down, wiping their eyes with coffee-stained tissues since Col had used what was left in the box to clean up the spill.

She didn't know if it was the rush of endorphins and emotions to her brain or because of the way Col's genuine and dazzling smile seemed to calm her instead of setting off warning bells, but without a rational thought to prompt it, as soon as she regained breath enough to speak, Beth caught his eyes and said, "I would like to go to dinner with you on Friday."

 _What had she been thinking?_

Between yesterday and today, she'd replayed the scene over and over again, wondering that exact thought numerous times.

 _Why had she said yes?_

She'd left New York because of a relationship, one that had completely shattered her heart. Why had she said yes and let Colin think that four months was enough time for her to want to move on? Forget about what she was setting herself up for…what was she setting him up for? He was her friend – she would admit that much, and she'd just willingly volunteered to hurt him.

Beth traced the lines of the font on the invitation again, wondering if this was why she'd said yes. Maybe the stupid thing still somehow beating inside of her chest wondered if it could still care? Or, more importantly, wondered if she would let it?

Her phone buzzed signaling that the Uber had arrived to take her to work. Normally, she would bike since the center was a few miles from her cozy apartment on the border of Brookline and Allston – a good distance from the downtown Boston area, but today it was absolutely pouring outside. She'd have face Colin again today, and after everything that had happened yesterday the last thing that she needed was to do it looking like a wet dog disaster. Running from the entrance to her apartment building out to the car, she hopped inside, trying not to make any more out of tomorrow's dinner than she already had.


	4. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Beth dumped her purse and laptop bag onto her desk chair Friday morning, grabbing a handful of tissues to try and dry off her right pant-leg. She'd managed to step in a giant puddle on the way inside; her shoe and about two inches up her pants were completely soaked. Grumbling to herself, she tried to wring out all of the excess water.

 _It was miserable outside. Hopefully not a premonition for how dinner tonight was going to go._

It had been miserable yesterday, too, and was supposed to continue throughout the weekend. Thankfully, Col hadn't been at the center yesterday morning so all of her worries had been unfounded; she'd had the whole day to try to figure out how to not be awkward around him – how to not ruin the friendship that they'd built and that she'd begun to cherish. In spite of that reprieve, she wasn't sure she had a good solution which only added to today and all the troubles of its own.

Beth hadn't slept well, anxious about what tonight had in store. She didn't do dates – and neither had Darcy, really.

 _Stop thinking about him._

That was the worst part about the fact that she had said yes; not that it might hurt Colin, not that it suggested that she wanted to open her heart again, not that it might even hurt her…it was the fact that it allowed memories of Darcy to slip by the intricate wall of defenses she'd constructed to keep him caged in her past and locked safely away from what remained of her heart.

Frantically rubbing the now-damp material, Beth sighed and gave up as the familiar light rap on her office door sounded. Her head darted up as though she expected to see someone other than who she _knew_ it was.

"Hey," Colin said quietly, looking at her position curiously from the doorway; she had her wet foot propped up on her chair and was bent over trying to try the fabric, but none of that was visible over the desk. He didn't ask questions though, just raised both hands to indicate that her coffee delivery had arrived.

A light blush stole over her face as she smiled and returned, "Good morning."

Col stepped inside her office, casually walking over to her desk to set her coffee down for her, his eyebrows raising once he could see what she was doing. "Ahh," his sigh turned into a chuckle, "I see the rain managed to get ahold of you this morning."

Beth rolled her eyes. "I knew I should have worn my rain-boots today," she mumbled. "I see that you managed to make it through the flood-zone unscathed." Beth picked up her coffee, taking a sip as he just shrugged his shoulders with a grin.

"Sorry you missed your coffee yesterday," he began, "I ended up having to stop in at the Fairmont to talk to the manager about the Contest Ball."

Every year, the Dempsey Center hosted the Dempsey Contest – a fifty-mile bike ride to raise awareness and support for cancer research. It was the cornerstone of the Center's PR events, and consequently, the major focus of Beth's new job. However, it wasn't the only focus – it was growing. Colin wanted to expand the Contest into other cities, other states, since it had such great success in Boston; bringing her on was to help him accomplish that. It was too late to grow it for this year since the ride was coming up on the third of June – two weeks after Jane's wedding. But that didn't mean there wasn't something to be done.

Beth had suggested that this year, the Contest be accompanied with an after-party: The Contest Ball. First, to honor those who won the top spots in the race, but also as a more formal charity event for the Contest's biggest donors. Beth smiled, remember how Colin's eyes had gone wide when she'd suggested it and the way he'd whispered, ' _Genius'_ just before his dazzling smile lit his face.

 _She remembered because her heart had clenched painfully wishing that it had been that easy to make Darcy smile._

And so, the planning had begun. Since the race started and finished in downtown, Beth had suggested using the Fairmont Copley Plaza as their home base for the weekend, and the Grand Ballroom as the stage for the evening ball. It had been an easy decision, having worked so closely with the Plaza in the past; Beth knew the Fairmont would meet every expectation that they, and more importantly, their donors had.

"I thought you were meeting with them at the end of next week?" Beth asked curiously.

She'd known about the meeting – Col wanted to have a look at everything from the Ballroom to the guest rooms, as they were reserving a significant amount of them as a curtesy for their guests. That was one of the things that she admired most about him – no detail was too small to deserve his attention. Sure, he could have relied just on her and her word that it was perfect, he could have sent someone else on their team, he didn't have to take the time to do it himself, but he did because it mattered to him.

 _That was a rare thing to find._

Her eyes broke from his for a second wondering if it was all these little, admirable qualities that had allowed him to slip past her defenses.

"I was going to, but I might be…ahh…out of town next weekend so I wanted to make sure I got in there since we're less than a month out," he explained.

"I see. Did everything go ok?" Beth asked.

"Yeah, they had everything under control just like you assured me that they would. The space looks great although I'm sure that you will manage to improve on it – you always do," Col answered warmly.

Now, she could hear the genuine affection that was laced into his compliment; now she could see his words and actions more clearly, and how many of them had been tainted with a similar tone.

"Thanks," she murmured, sending him a brief smile before pulling her gaze from his as she felt her face begin to warm. She turned to pull her laptop out of its bag and set it on her desk, taking a longer time than necessary to do it before moving her bags to the floor since a pregnant and awkward silence had followed his heartfelt compliment.

"So –" they both began again at the same time, breaking off with a quick laugh.

"Go ahead," Beth said, sitting down in her desk chair, her lower lip firmly between her teeth.

"So," he began again, his warm eyes capturing hers, "about tonight. I'll pick you up at your place?"

"Sure," she said a little too enthusiastically; her attempt to make the conversation not awkward only making it more so.

"Does seven work for you?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Her reply much calmer this time.

A relieved smile spread over his face as though he was afraid she was going to back out on him after the coffee incident Wednesday morning. "Great," he said with a sigh, "I'll see you later then."

As soon as the door shut behind him, Beth sagged into her chair, her breath rushing out of her.

 _Well, it was still awkward. But it was endearingly so._

Her biggest fear was that his attempt for their friendship to mean more would ruin the foundation on which it was built. She didn't know if she was ready or able or willing to do this, but she didn't want to lose him, too. Even though it was awkward as they navigated this new potential side to their relationship, Beth was grateful that it hadn't become uncomfortable between them.

She could see that he was nervous; he knew enough about what had happened to know there was a good chance that she wasn't ready for this, that an attempt to get to close would only serve to push her further away, and yet he'd managed to navigate those treacherous waters, maybe not with ease, but with a calm that somehow reassured her that it was going to be ok – that he wasn't going to hurt her.

Beth stared out over her computer screen into to starkly bare room that was her office. She'd brought nothing with her and, honestly, had zero desire to make the space 'hers'. There were no photographs, the only artwork on the wall was there the day she'd arrived. There were no plants. There was nothing adorning her desk except her office phone, a day planner, and her laptop – when she was there. She'd put nothing in the space to tie it to her because she didn't want it tied to her; she didn't want anything tied to her – at least that's what she thought.

The enormity of what she'd agreed to was finally sinking in. Just like her friendship with Colin had crept up on her, just like the realization had crept up on her that he had more-than-friendly feelings for her, the ramifications and implications of her acquiescence were finally catching up to her.

 _Did she really want to be doing this? Should she have changed her mind?_

Her desk phone began to ring before Beth had time to consider the answers, whether that was a blessing or an unwanted distraction from such introspection would have to be decided later.

Beth stared into her closet. This _date –_ her stomach clenching at the word – had brought about a whole new dilemma: what to wear? She packed very limited things before leaving New York, especially because most of her clothes had ended up at Darcy's apartment and she _definitely_ wasn't going back there to get them.

 _He could burn them for all she cared._

She went out and bought some stuff downtown, but it was mostly…no, it was all for work because what else did she need clothes for? Certainly not to sit in her tiny apartment. Beth sighed, sliding the hangers back and forth along the rod for the fourth time, hoping a new choice would magically appear. It was times like these when she missed Jane; Jane would know what she should wear, what she should do. She couldn't call her though. Jane didn't know about Colin, except that he was her boss, and she wasn't about to get into that conversation with her sister about who he was to her when the simple fact was that she didn't know the answer to that herself.

"Whatever," she mumbled, pulling out the only pair of jeans that she had – the ones she'd worn when she moved up here, and a light pink blouse that he'd seen her wear probably a hundred times to work. _Oh well._

She didn't feel like she was trying to impress him – not like with Darcy. There was no intense urgency to prove that she was 'tolerable'. No, it was even sadder than that. She just didn't want Colin to pity her – to look at her and realize that she had no life, that she'd lost herself because of Darcy.

 _Ok, maybe not all of herself, but she'd lost a lot._

She came to Boston as a shell. Not that she'd had that kind of love in her life before, but you can't miss what you don't have; when she found such an intoxicating yet toxic love with Darcy it consumed her, it filled in places that she didn't know were empty, and then to have it taken away well, that kind of loss is crippling. Beth wouldn't say she was running away – maybe in the beginning, but Darcy had left her…she had nothing to run from. No, she was running towards something, to Boston to start a new life – to start over, where no one knew her name. It was the only way she could fill herself back up again.

The truth was that he probably already saw it. Even though he'd missed her first four weeks in Boston, which were arguably the worst four weeks of her life, Beth doubted that four weeks had put much of a dent into her depression; there was no way he wouldn't have noticed. But he never treated her with pity or excessive sympathy or like she was weak, although, knowing how much he cared meant that was probably very hard to do. As she put on her unimpressive outfit, she tried to remember the times she'd talked to him about Darcy, generally explaining what had happened, but she couldn't.

 _Some things were better left forgotten._

Beth walked into her bathroom to see what could be done about her hair, sighing at the plain brown mess that greeted her in the mirror. Flipping on her straightener, she attempted to curl the ends of her hair trying to give it some sort of life. After a fifteen-minute attempt, she set the flat-iron down, flipped her head over and back, and took a look at the final result.

 _Not too bad._

Beth sighed; she didn't have any make-up so this was as good as it was going to get. Taking a step back, she stood up on her toes, trying to see more of her outfit in the vanity mirror – she didn't have a full-length one in the apartment.

 _Why would she? Who was she trying to impress?_

No one.

 _Colin._

She turned away from her reflection at the thought. Col knew her, she didn't need to impress him, he wanted to take her to dinner as she was. Maybe this was why she never had thought of him more than as a friend – because his relationship with her inspired no drive.

 _Unlike Darcy._

For as indubitably intolerable and as persistently proud as he was, he always expected more from her, not that he ever said it and not because he'd wanted it for himself, but because he wanted her to be better for herself. He–

 _Stop thinking about Darcy._

She groaned in frustration, almost tempted to call Colin and cancel the date for this reason alone – that every aspect of this type of scenario just reminded her of _him_ ; she couldn't live with those reminders. Phone in hand, she looked at the time; _Colin would be here any minute._

As if to punctuate her thought, a soft knock on the door startled her. Beth prayed that Colin's physical presence would be enough to ward off any stray thoughts of the man who broke her heart.

"Coming!" she yelled, running her hands through her hair with one last glance at the bathroom mirror. She padded over to the door to her apartment, silently cursing that she'd forgotten to put her shoes on. Undoing the chain and deadbolt, she opened the door and was greeted by Colin's smiling face.

"Hey," he said, his dazzling smile spreading across his face.

Beth missed it all – the words, the eager happiness in his voice, the way his eyes looked at her appreciatively, his warm smile… She missed it all except the flowers.

 _A bouquet of pink tulips._

Suddenly, it was no longer Col at the door, but Darcy, tulips in hand intended for Jane from Charles. Her mouth went dry as whatever was left beating in her chest ached painfully.

"Beth, you ok?" Col's voice echoed in the background, snapping her out of her déja-vu.

A smile bloomed on her face – the fake one that she'd spent months perfecting. She hated to use it on Col, but it was all she had. "Yes, these are just beautiful!" she exclaimed, trying to shove the memory of Jane's tulips and the note that accompanied them as far away from her as possible.

"A beautiful woman deserves beautiful flowers," was his response as he handed them to her.

Her smile remained for his compliment, taking the torturous tulips from him and ushering him inside her apartment. "I'll just put these in water and grab my shoes and then I'll be ready."

"Sure, take your time."

She wanted to feel something at his compliment – she _really_ wanted to. Anything to feel something other than the ache that burned inside of her. Anything to show her that she could feel something good again, especially for someone who was so good to her.

Quickly pulling out a pitcher (she didn't have a vase because, why would she?), she cut the bottom of the stems and put them in with some water. Setting them on the kitchen counter, she tried to step away from them - and everything they reminded her of, without seeming too eager to be out of their presence.

"Alright I'm re—" she halted, "Shoes, still need shoes." The last bit she mumbled to herself, even though Col heard her; his small laugh suggested that he found her frenzied thoughts charming.

"There's no rush, Beth," he emphasized again as she darted past him to grab her practical navy wedges.

Returning to him, this time with a semi-genuine smile on her face, she said, "I'm ready." To which, he stuck out his elbow wordlessly asking to escort her down to the car. The small gesture made her laugh in its quaint ridiculousness, and laughter was the best medicine.

"What?" he asked, laughing too.

"You're such a gentleman, Col," she replied.

His expression changed to one of mock offense. "You sound like you expected something less?" He was playing along, but his tone hinted at a thought more serious as they moved in sync down the two flights of stairs to the main level of the apartment building.

"Of course not," she reassured him, her other hand coming up to rest on his arm in comfort.

He held the door to the building open for her as they walked out into the crisp, spring night. "Good," he said, his hand releasing the door only to capture hers just before she could remove it from his arm. "You deserve _nothing_ less." This time, his tone said that they were no longer playing. The sincerity of his words was written all over his warm, brown gaze that grabbed hers and held it while his hand brought the back of hers to his lips.

Beth felt her face warm, accompanied by a sudden intake of breath as his lips touched her soft skin.

 _Too much._

The moment was too much. Beth turned her head towards the curb as Col raised his from her hand, allowing her to breathe again without the intimate contact.

"Wait, is that for us?" Beth asked in shock, staring at the limo parked out front of her apartment.

"For us? No. For you? Yes," he grinned playfully and led her to open and waiting door.

She wanted to run, but she was too far down the rabbit hole to turn back now.

 _At this point, it was better to just follow the 'Eat Me' and 'Drink Me' instructions and hope there wasn't a Queen of Hearts waiting at the restaurant to take off her head._


	5. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A few minutes later, the limo door opened to a flash of lights, behind which the glass doors of Mistral shone brightly. Col stepped out of the limo, extending his hand to her, holding her as she stepped out. Beth didn't know what she was thinking – maybe that the lights were from the street lamps, from something exciting happening in the Back Bay area, or even just from tourists exploring Columbus Ave. Or maybe she just wasn't thinking.

There may not have been a Queen of Hearts waiting, but there were paparazzi. Not a lot of them by New York standards, but enough to startle her – _what had she been thinking?_

Colin was more of a local celebrity, but because he was related to a national celebrity, the press did tend to tail him from time to time when they had no one else to bother. Probably because of the event coming up, Colin had fallen back in their crosshairs again – meaning that now she had as well.

She put a weak smile on her face as Colin's arm came around her, pulling her closer to his side, trying to shield them both from the handful of cameras that continued to click as they quickly walked into the restaurant.

"Sorry about that," Col murmured to her, just before they reached the hostess stand.

"Mr. Dempsey, welcome back to Mistral. We have your table ready for you," the blonde hostess greeted him with a _very_ warm smile. Her eyes traveled over Beth and the smile quickly turned into a smirk.

Thankfully, inside the restaurant it was relatively calm; most of the other diners didn't realize who had just walked in and ignored them as they followed the woman to a table near the back of the restaurant, in a corner away from the windows – _and the cameras._

Beth sat down with a pit in her stomach, feeling not only like a complete idiot, but like a complete failure.

"Beth, I was going to order the Riesling, is that ok with you?" Col's voice broke the daze of embarrassment surrounding her. She met his eyes and saw concern reflected in them, then noticing the waiter who was looking to her for the answer.

"Ahh, yes that's fine. Riesling is fine," she answered quietly.

"And just two waters, please." Col nodded at the waiter before setting his sights on Beth. "Is everything ok?"

 _No. Nope. Definitely not._

"Yes, of course," she squeaked out.

Col rolled his eyes. "That's a lie. I know you better than that."

Beth let out a deep sigh. The waiter giving her a moment of reprieve as he returned with the bottle of wine, opening it and allowing Colin a taste before filling their glasses.

No, she was not ok. First, she was not dressed nearly as nice as she should be for this place. Even though her jeans were dark and fitted and her shirt nice enough for work…it wasn't nice enough for _here._ No, she should have been wearing a skirt or dress or even dress pants – none of which she owned.

 _Because why would she think she would ever be in this situation?_

She sighed at the thought, watching as the waiter filled her glass with wine; at least the alcohol would dull the sting of embarrassment in her mind. Mistral was one of the best restaurants in the city. There weren't that many people there when they walked in, although the tables were starting to fill up now. The restaurant was on the smaller side, with large classical-style artwork gracing the walls. The room dimly lit with French-country chandeliers giving it a very homey feeling. Their table was in the very far back corner of the restaurant secluded from the growing number of people.

 _That was only the first problem._

The second source of her idiocy was Col. No, not Col. _Colin Dempsey._

 _What had she been thinking?_

The man was practically famous – especially around here – and most people usually mistook him for his movie-star brother anyway. And he wanted to take _her_ to dinner?! A laugh escaped her at the thought. Sometimes, to her detriment, she forgot that he was famous. Sure, Darcy was incredibly rich – wealthier than Col, no doubt, and well-known in certain circles (probably to his dismay). But Colin was quasi-famous – his brother's strikingly similar face plastered all over Hollywood and the internet, with paparazzi and rumors and gossip. They would probably use photos of Colin and her to say that Pat had been spotted with a woman out in Boston; that's how the paparazzi worked – anything for a juicy story.

Here she'd been, already anxious about going on a date, only now to connect the dots that this wasn't just a date; this was news. People could wake up tomorrow and be seeing this all over the internet.

"Beth," Col addressed her again as soon as the waiter left. "Please, tell me what's wrong?"

She picked up her glass, taking a long sip of the sweeter wine and a longer moment to collect her thoughts. "I'm sorry, Col," she began, "I just didn't think…didn't realize…" _That you're kind of famous? That this is normal for you?_

"About the paparazzi?" he inferred. "Don't let them bother you. They probably won't even use the photos. With the Contest coming up and the release of Pat's latest movie, I'm just higher on the priority list at the moment, but it's not always like this for me; I promise."

Beth smiled at his attempt to reassure her, the irony of his nonchalant tone when he spoke about dealing with paparazzi like it was just a normal everyday occurrence, like getting stuck behind a school bus on the way to work. "It's not that, really, although I can't imagine being able to get used to people following you around and wanting to take pictures of you."

"You can ignore anything that you set your mind too, trust me. Especially when there are so many other, important things in life to focus on," Col responded, taking a sip of his wine. "But what's the real reason?"

He asked, but from the look on his face, he had an idea what she was about to say and he didn't like it.

Beth blushed before forcing the words from her mouth. "This whole situation is surreal. I mean, I'm your friend… and your employee, but I think that has sheltered me from the larger reality of who you are. Col, your brother is famous, you're practically famous – and unattached. Women would kill to be on a date with you – and they'd probably dress to kill too, and yet, you're here with me?" The words sounded just as incredulous as the thoughts that had preceded them.

Now, his face darkened with a frown. "Why would you think that? Why would that be so inconceivable to you?" he asked softly. "I'm just a normal person, Beth. Yes, parts of my job and my life happen to be more visible to the general population, but that doesn't change who I am, you should know that by now."

"I do!" she exclaimed, worried that he thought she was blaming her discomfort on him. "It's not you. It's me; I don't understand why you would want me. I don't fit into that world. I mean just look at me," she paused to laugh at herself. "I don't even look like I belong in this restaurant, let alone on the arm of a local celebrity. I'm not nearly—" Col stopped her before she could continue.

"Beth Bennet, you are beautiful." His voice was hard and determined. The frustration he felt hearing how she saw herself was written across his face. Her face flushed at the compliment, her mouth opened to deny it again so he spoke before she could. "You. Are. Beautiful." Sincerity punctuating each word.

Beth just bit her lip, holding back her doubts and her response.

"You belong here just as much as I do or any of these other lovely people. You belong here because I wanted to bring you here on a date. That is the first thing. Now, why would I want you? Maybe because you are smart and kind and caring. Maybe because you push me to be better, to think outside the box and stretch my limits. Maybe because you see _me_ and _not_ my movie star brother, or my own local celebrity… You look past what the rest of the world wants to focus on. Maybe because you are beautiful inside and out."

 _Well, that was not what she was expecting. Had she really gotten so bad at reading situations and people?_

Beth felt her mouth drop open a little, her eyes widening at his emotional confession, locked onto his gaze that only emphasized just how much he cared for her. If the situation didn't feel surreal before, it definitely did now. She didn't know how to respond. Hell, she didn't know how she even felt, how could she possible respond?

She didn't have to. The waiter returned asking if they were ready to order; his question effectively breaking the trance that was between them.

Colin looked at her to go first, but she'd barely glanced at the menu. "Umm…what do you recommend?" she asked him.

"I usually get one of the fish meals – they are excellent."

"Ok," Beth replied, looking down at the menu and picking the first fish that her eyes caught. "I'll have the halibut then. Thank you."

"And I'll take the Branzino, please." Col smiled as he handed both of their menus to the waiter.

"I'm sorry," Beth said before Colin could pick up where he left off. "Honestly, it has nothing to do with your situation – or at least not a lot. I just haven't dated…in a while." She grimaced at the word 'date', but she was calling it like it was; no point in trying to disguise it. "So, this…between us…is a lot for me right now and I'm just not sure that I'm ready for it, let alone even know how to do this properly."

 _Because, let's face it, her and Darcy hadn't really dated; they'd just been consumed._

"Beth." His face looked tortured. "We can go. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… I just… I've been waiting. And I'm so tired of seeing you so closed off to everything. I'm sorry, it was selfish of me, we can go." Col began to raise his hand off of the table in front of them to signal their waiter, but she quickly reached out to grasp it.

"No," she implored. "I'm sorry. This is overwhelming, I won't lie, but I need this. I can't stay… closed off… forever."

"You sure?" he asked, hopefully. "I mean I can just go back to being the awkward coffee guy."

Beth laughed at his attempt to lighten the mood. "Yes, I'm sure." Beth smiled back at him, even though she wasn't. _She wanted to be though._

She wasn't sure of many things anymore, but she knew that Col wouldn't have rushed things to hurt her; she knew that he wouldn't hurt her. He'd been the only to help her move on with her life, maybe he'd be the one to help her heart move on too.

He adeptly steered them onto lighter topics, sharing stories about the one time he was here with Patrick and Renée and some of the other cast from _Bridget Jones_ ; they regularly came up to support the Dempsey Contest so he'd gotten to know his brother's cast mates pretty well. Beth relaxed as they fell into the comfortable conversation that normally flowed between them.

 _That was what she needed – to feel safe._

Only the food arriving broke the steady flow of their discussion; Beth relished it – the food and the flow. There were only a few times when her gaze strayed from Col to notice some of the other guests nodding and looking in their direction, realizing who was sitting back with her, even though his back was to most of them.

"So, are you excited for Jane's wedding?" Col asked, bringing the conversation back to Beth as gently as he could.

She nodded as she finished swallowing the bite of delicious fish and amazing lobster risotto that had accompanied it. "I am," she replied with a smile, but there was a sadness that touched her eyes. "I miss her a lot. We've lived together for so long, she's been my sidekick for so long, and being up here… Well, let's just say I lost a lot more than I thought when I left New York."

"I'm sorry, Beth."

"Don't be," she said, forcing a bigger smile onto her face. "I'm happy I came; I needed to. Life goes on and she's my sister, she'll always be a part of me, it's just a transition period right now I think, and more so after the wedding, to figure out how we're going to keep our closeness. It's harder right now, being so far apart, but we'll get through it."

"I have no doubt," Col agreed. "It's the same with Pat and I – and not just because we are twins. We're pretty close, especially since we started the Center together; in fact, I think that brought us even closer. I don't get to see him that much with his other jobs, but even though we go for periods where we see each other a lot, to those where we hardly see each other at all, nothing manages to change between us. Distance can separate bodies, but it can't separate hearts."

Beth felt hers squeeze at his words as her eyes rapidly blinked back tears. She couldn't agree more – she and Jane would always be inseparable; his words spoke what she knew to be true. But for a split second she'd heard them instead as her worst fears being realized – that her distance from Darcy would never be able to stop her heart from loving him.

"Shit, I'm making you cry again, I'm the worst date ever," he said apologetically. "Feel free to tell the reporters, I deserve it." And suddenly she was laughing again.

Their conversation continued as the sunlight dimmed; the restaurant grew busier, but for a little while neither recognized that time was moving. Only when the waiter finally brought their check without it being asked for did Colin grin sheepishly at her before checking his watch.

"It's almost ten – no wonder they are trying to get rid of me; I turn into a pumpkin at ten-oh-five."

Beth giggled at his joke; his corny attempts to be funny, combined with the bottle and a half of Riesling that they had killed, pushed her over the edge.

Shoving cash on top of the check, he stood and reached for her hand. "Alright, c'mon McGiggles, let's get you home," he chuckled at her failing attempt to control her laughter.

Oddly enough, in spite of the situation she'd been in when she moved to Boston, she hadn't really resorted to alcohol to try and dull her heartache. She'd bought a bottle of wine the first day, but by the time Patrick had emailed her back about the job, she'd finished it and hadn't bought another. Maybe because the thought of drowning out every emotion, numbing the torrents of sadness that threatened to drown her had been too tempting.

 _Or maybe it was because, deep down, Beth knew that nothing would be able to touch the pain of her heart breaking._

The limo was out front waiting for them as they left the restaurant, but, thankfully, none of the paparazzi. _They must have gotten tired of waiting._ Col helped her into the limo first, sliding in beside her.

The energy between them now was much different than it was on the way there. Beth had been anxious and uncertain. Now, she felt comfortable and relaxed, her head falling to the side using Col's shoulder as a pillow.

"It's a good thing I got you out of the house tonight and gave you some wine," he began, "otherwise you would have been done for at Jane's wedding."

"Pshhhhhh, no," Beth replied, unsure if she was slurring her words or not. "I will be just fine."

His head turned to catch her eyes. "Well, I don't know if you know this about me or not, but I am available as a wedding escort."

"Really? Like in the Wedding Date?" she joked, surprised at the quick comeback she was able to retort even as her heart picked up speed realizing that he wanted to be her date to Jane's wedding.

"Exactly, although Dermott is not _nearly_ as entertaining as I am – trust me, I've met him."

"The real question is though – are you a better dancer?" Her eyebrows raised, daring him to answer.

"You'll just have to invite me and find out for yourself," he said as the car stopped in front of her building. Colin got out, again extending his hand to help her – which was a good thing because she was definitely less stable on her feet this time around.

Holding onto him for a not insubstantial amount of support, they walked to the door of her building, Col insisting that he escort her up to her apartment since there were stairs involved.

"Thank you," she said softly as they stopped in front of her door.

His fingers tilted her chin up as he replied, "No, thank you."

Beth bit her lip, knowing what _normally_ happened at this point – or at least what she felt like he was hoping would happen. "I'm sorry, Col. I'm a complete mess – you know that. I don't know what you see in me or what you could possibly want from me…" she trailed off. The alcohol and her sadness making her forget just exactly where she was going with that.

"Beth, I just want you and your completely beautiful mess in whatever way you'll let me have it," he whispered, staring at her intently, trying to make sure she understood just how serious he was.

She gave the slightest of nod, probably imperceptible to the eye, but because his fingers were still on her chin, she knew he could feel it.

A small smile spread to his face. "I had an incredible time. And don't forget, for you, my dance moves and I are available if you want us." Beth smiled at his humor, his hand leaving her chin to fall at his side. "Goodnight, Beth. I'll see you on Monday."

With that, he stepped away from her like the gentlemen that he was and turned back towards the stairwell. For a second, she stood frozen, her thoughts a jumble over what had happened, what she thought was going to happen, what she wanted or didn't want or didn't know what she wanted to happen. The next thing she knew, his name flew from her mouth and he immediately paused and turned to face her.

Beth watched as her possessed body closed the distance between them, stood up on her toes and pressed her lips to his. She could feel his shock at her action before he relaxed against her; his hand moved up to cup her face for just a moment, pulling her lips hard against his before he let go and pulled back – _like the gentleman he was_.

"Goodnight, Beth," he said with his dazzling, movie-star smile, disappearing into the stairwell, leaving her to stand speechless in the hallways – stunned not by him or his response, but by hers.

 _What had she been thinking?_

Had she wanted to kiss him or had she just wanted to know what it would be like to kiss someone after Darcy?

Unlocking her door, the familiar pit returned to her stomach as she wished she hadn't done what she'd just done – not because it had given Colin the wrong idea, not because it had encouraged him on something that might not happen; no, she wished she hadn't done it because she hadn't felt anything. She hadn't felt the all-consuming desire sear through her cells like she did when Darcy kissed her. She didn't think she felt desire at all.

 _It hadn't been a bad kiss._

No, it hadn't. It just hadn't demanded more – then again, nothing with Colin ever did. Beth set her purse down and walked into her tiny bedroom to change into her pajamas.

Brushing her teeth, she thought about the last time she'd been out to dinner with someone, it had been Darcy; this had been nothing like that. _Col was nothing like him._ And that, surprisingly – or not – made a big difference.

She smiled as she climbed into her bed with a sigh, relaxing into the soft mattress – the one thing she'd splurged on after moving, she smiled as she replayed her and Col's dinner conversation. She'd listened to his funny stories about when he was younger and acting with his brother, all the funny stuff he'd witnessed Pat do in the spotlight over the years; she'd begun to truly feel relaxed as his relationship with his brother reminded her so much of the one between her and Jane. He made it so easy to feel comfortable around him. Something that never would have happened with Darcy. She could barely get two words out of Darcy on a good day, and here Col was, talking to her like he could go on for hours without any input from her if she didn't want to give it. In some ways, the contrast between the two of them was refreshing. Col didn't order her or demand things. He'd asked about the wine at dinner. He'd waited for her to order for herself – something that she ended up giving up control of anyway. He made her feel like he took her thoughts and desires into consideration. It was such a change. Darcy ordered and did everything for her, he took control…he took her. She turned and groaned into her pillow.

 _In other ways, it was maddening._

Col didn't push her, he didn't test her, he didn't make her work for his affection; not that Darcy made her work for the sake of seeing her struggle – he'd had reasons for being such a tough nut to crack. But that is one of the things that enthralled her about him, that pulled her in; she didn't feel like she was the only one learning how to have a relationship. She'd made Darcy work too, to open up and not be so demanding, to let her have some of the control.

And then there was Colin's kiss. It hadn't consumed her. With Darcy, it was all or nothing – all his emotions or none, all of her body on fire and burning, about to explore, or nothing. Kissing Col was nice, but it was just somewhere in the middle. And it wasn't just her; he'd pulled away first, happy that she'd kissed him, but not so consumed with passion that he couldn't let her go. It had still been easy for him to remain a gentleman, whereas Darcy would have had her up against the wall; Darcy would have taken what he wanted – and that was ok because it would have given her what she needed in return too.

With Col, he just gave and gave and gave. And she wished she wanted that.

 _God, how she wished that she did._

But no, her stupid self didn't want the knight in shining armor, the gentleman who treated her politely and respectfully. No, her deranged self craved to be consumed, to be pushed to the very limits of everything that she thought she could bear, even though going beyond those limits had almost destroyed her.


	6. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Sometimes, Saturday mornings are for sleeping-in and other times, they are for bouts of epiphanies and productivity.

Beth woke up at seven even though she hadn't set an alarm last night, expecting to need all the sleep she could get after such an interesting and emotional evening. But at seven, she was wide awake without any effects from the wine last night. Maybe she'd been dreaming about him…or about them, but as soon as her eyes registered the sunlight streaming in through the small window in her room, she realized what she needed to do.

 _You can't always get what you want._

Turning on the shower, she admitted what was no longer worth fighting to deny: She wanted Darcy and the way he'd made her feel; she wanted to be pushed, to be taken, to be challenged, to be consumed. She wanted to feel that intensity, she wanted to not feel like she was the only one learning and growing in a relationship.

 _Sometimes, you have to just take what you need._

What she needed was to play it safe. Getting what she wanted had almost gotten her destroyed. She needed a gentleman, someone who would treat her 'properly' even if she wanted be pushed, who would always take her feelings into consideration even if she wanted to be challenged, someone who would take their time to build a deeper relationship with her even if she wanted to be consumed. She needed someone who wouldn't give her what she wanted because what she wanted was too extreme, it too easily lent itself to unimaginable heartbreak.

 _Which meant that Colin was exactly what she needed._

As she finished washing herself under the steady stream of warm water, she felt a sense of relief come over her. She'd been so concerned about what was going to happen last night, how it was going to how, how he was going to make her feel. This morning, she realized that it had gone the best way possible. She'd been afraid that he would make her feel like Darcy did – _what a foolish thought that was._

 _That wasn't possible…for anyone to do._

The way she thought about it now…about Col…didn't make her sad or make her feel like she was settling; it was just a different path – one that had a better chance of leading her to a happy ending.

Toweling dry, she wrapped the damp fabric around her walking back out into her bedroom, her phone buzzing on the nightstand just as she entered.

Picking it up, she smiled seeing she had a text from Colin.

\- _Good morning, Beth! Hope the wine last night didn't make this beautiful morning too painful for you._

 _~ Nope, I managed to wake up unscathed. How about you?_

Beth set her phone down as she threw on some sweats and a t-shirt. She needed to clean her apartment today, and then start packing for next weekend.

 _Because you have so much stuff to pack…_

She shook her head, trying to ignore the smart-ass thoughts that kept popping up inside. Just as she pulled her head through the tee, her phone buzzed. Twice.

- _Nothing could bring me down this morning ;)_

 _\- I did want to apologize for last night though, I let the alcohol get ahead of myself._

She reread his message. Was he talking about the kiss? She'd been the one that initiated it, why would he be apologizing?

~ _What do you mean?_

 _\- About the wedding._

His meaning clicked immediately and her fingers flew quickly over the screen to respond before he had the chance to elaborate.

~ _I want you to come with me._

 _~ To Jane's wedding._

 _~ Crap. I mean, would you want to be my date for Jane's wedding?_

Beth stopped to breathe. _Ugh._ That was not smooth at all. In some ways, her responses were just as impulsive and demanding as Darcy's – first taking a kiss from Colin after he'd started to walk away, not wanting to push their relationship too far. Now, demanding that he be her date for the wedding, even though he'd already offered, she should have asked.

\- _I would love to._

 _\- Are you sure?_

She smiled again in relief, ~ _Yes, as long as your dance moves live up to your promise._

 _\- I always endeavor to exceed your expectations, Miss Bennet. This will be no different._

Beth bit her lip at his always seemingly perfect responses to everything. How it was possible that he was so perfect, and yet so single was still a mystery to her. For Darcy, on the other hand, it was _completely_ understandable how he still unattached – even if it had been his preference.

 _God, she really needed to stop comparing the two._

It was just hard when they were really the only two men she'd let into her life. Turning on the stove to heat her teapot, she stared at Jane's invitation again, praying that maybe now, if she could rewrite over experience with Darcy with that of Col, her heart could finally manage to move on.

Her fingers began to trace over the words again, like they did every time, until she got to ' _Jane'_ and the thought dawned on her that she'd already RSVP'd as attending by herself.

 _Shit._

Picking up her phone again, she hit Jane's name in her favorites, waiting impatiently as the line began to ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, are you busy?"

"One sec," Jane replied. Her response followed by a bunch of shuffling in the background. "Sorry, I was just packing for our honeymoon. Actually, I'm glad you called, I wanted to ask you about something, but mine can wait. What's up?"

Beth hated the twinge of jealousy that she felt every time Jane mentioned any part in this happy process. She and Darcy had promised three months; she'd told him she'd marry him no matter what.

 _God, she'd been so touchingly naïve._

"Beth? Are you still there?"

"Yeah, sorry, got distracted for a second," Beth apologized. "Ok, I did something…I hope it's ok. Please don't be mad…but, is it at all possible for me to bring a date to your wedding?"

 _Silence._

"I know it's so last minute. I'm sorry, I don't have to. I didn't even think when I asked him, I just…" she trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

"No! No, it's fine. That's not a problem," Jane jumped in to reassure her. "Actually, one of mom's friends just got in touch with me that she wasn't going to be able to make it, so that's fine. That's not the problem."

 _Uh oh._

"What's wrong?"

Beth heard her sister sigh on the other end of the line. "I know…you don't want to talk about what happened. I know whatever it was, was really bad, but are you sure this is a good idea?"

Beth took a sip of her tea before answering, knowing that she couldn't assure Jane that it _was_ a good idea. "Honestly, I don't know. All I know is that I need to start moving forward – in all areas of my life."

"But, can you move forward if you haven't addressed the past?" Jane asked quietly, even though the profound insight of her words was deafening. "I don't want to push you, but you haven't talked to me…you haven't even just told me what happened that night. I don't like to assume things, maybe you have talked to someone in Boston, but knowing you, if you haven't been able to open up to me, I can't imagine you've been able to open up to someone else."

Beth listened to her sister with a lump in her throat. She had closed herself off from Jane, but it had been for her sister's own good. _And hers._ She hadn't wanted to remember it, or relive it, especially when there were so many environmental triggers that brought her back there anyway.

 _She'd told Colin._

Mostly, she stayed silent out of guilt. She couldn't tell Jane that she couldn't open up to her, but she'd felt comfortable enough to tell Col what had happened. Beth wanted to believe it had been out of proximity…out of a momentary weakness to release some of the pain that she'd been feeling. _It's not like she'd cried and broken down in front of Col._ But, she had told him _certain_ details of what had happened. No, Jane would be crushed to hear that Beth had kept from her something that she'd been able to share with someone who was comparably a stranger.

"I'm sorry, Jane," was all she could come up with before the silence became painful.

"I don't want you to be sorry, Beth. I want you to do whatever you need to do to get past this; I'm just not sure that burying it in the hopes that someday you will be able to believe it never happened is going to be good for you in the long run – or even the short run. I'm afraid that trying to live pretending everything is ok, is going to come back and hurt you ten times worse than if you had just talked about it in the first place," Jane continued, the sorrow and concern that she held for Beth painfully evident in her voice. "Please don't be mad at me for saying this. I've just been waiting for you to open up and talk to me when you are ready, but then you call and ask to bring a date and it feels like you're starting to move past the problem. But, how can you really move on if you're just ignoring your broken heart?"

"I'm not mad," Beth said, softly. "I don't know what else to do. You have no idea…" She broke off as her voice choked, a few tears leaking past her defenses. "Sorry," she continued quickly before the conversation could turn down a very emotionally distressing path. "I know I will need to address what happened at some point. Right now, I feel like just trying to move on and put my mind in a better place will better help me handle that point when it comes. I don't know if that's the right thing to do or not, but I do know that diving back into what happened and my feelings for him will be something that I'm not sure my heart can handle; it will put my life back under his control because I'm not strong enough yet to push him away again."

The calmness and honesty with which the words came out surprised her. _It was true_ – whether it was right or wrong was a whole different issue. Being with Colin made her feel like her life was approaching some sort of normalcy.

 _How normal it was to be dating quasi-celebrity was beside the point._

"Ok…" Jane replied with resignation. "I trust you. I just don't want to see you hurt more."

"I know…" Beth sighed, her next admission forcing itself over the lump in her throat to be heard. "I know it seems wrong, Jane, but I hold onto this pride because these days it's all I have."

"I just wish there was something I could do to help you, that's all." When she hurt, Jane hurt for her. Another reason why she hesitated to tell Jane what had happened. "Can I ask you something?"

 _It depends…_

"Of course."

"Is it Patrick?"

Beth felt the cool breeze of relief blow over her. "That I'm bringing? No; it's his twin brother, Colin, who I've been working a lot with up here since I moved. Why did you think it was Pat?"

"Well, Lydia called me this morning and asked me if there was something between the two of you."

"What? Why would she think that?" Beth asked in shock. She hadn't talked to her younger sister since before she'd left New York.

"She saw a photo online of the two of you at dinner."

 _Oh God, no._

The photos that the paparazzi took last night were already surfacing.

"That's not quite right. The photo didn't say who he was having dinner with, but of course, Lydia recognized you, but she must have mistaken Colin for Patrick." Beth felt her heart start beating again with that piece of information. Although, it was only a matter of time before they found out her name and her very private escape would turn into very public entertainment.

Beth groaned into the phone. "Well, they are twins so I'm sure it was easy to confuse them in a photo. I didn't even realize that they would be there… And, Col assured me that they probably wouldn't even use the photos; I guess he was wrong…" _And she needed to talk to him._

"I just wanted to mention it – obviously, I didn't tell Lydia anything, well, mostly because I didn't know anything at that point. I know you don't really keep tabs on the tabloids, but I thought you should know if you want to be more careful. At some point, they might become public knowledge and I know you're trying to stay under-the-radar up there. I'm not sure how long that's going to be feasible if you're going to start dating a movie star."

"Ugh, I know. We'll just have to be more careful – no more crazy fancy places. I don't want this to get out there – whatever 'this' is; I don't want anyone to know." _And by anyone, she meant one specific person._ And Jane knew it.

"Have you talked to him?" Jane asked hesitantly. She didn't need to say his name, or elaborate on who she meant. There was only one _him._

"No."

 _And she'd done everything to prevent it from happening, too – a new phone, a new number, blocking every number that she knew of his, and ultimately, never answering her phone for an unknown number._

"Do you think it might help? Just…I mean…because he will be at the wedding," Jane forged on nervously. "You'll have to walk with him down the aisle."

Beth steadied herself on the counter as a wave of nausea rolled through her at the reminder.

"I know," she replied hoarsely, drinking the last sip of her tea to try and sooth her suddenly parched throat. "It won't help. You know him just as well as I, Jane; if Darcy couldn't bring himself to show any emotion before, I doubt now, after he's decidedly moved on from me, would be the time for him to start."

It was the first time she'd said his name in months. Sure, he had roamed freely around her mind during that time, interjecting himself into whatever thought or situation he felt like – not unlike he physically would. But, she'd refused to bring him to light, to bring him into her physical world – until now. Maybe this was a step in the right direction, being able to say his name without another piece of her heart dying inside.

"Are you sure he's moved on?" Jane asked, softly.

 _Well, he slept with your soon-to-be sister-in-law the night we broke up. So, yes, I think that means he's moved on._ The pain of that morning when she realized burned through her.

"Jane, I know that I've told you how Darcy likes to say one thing and do another, how he insists on changing his mind and expects me to just realize it on my own. But, if there was one thing that I was ever completely sure about, it's that he's unequivocally and indisputably moved on from me," Beth answered firmly, frustration blooming into her tone as she caught sight of the flowers that Colin had brought her – another painful memory of Darcy assaulting her. "I know I'm better off all alone than needing a man who could change his mind at any given minute, which is why I've been alone for months now. But, it's not enough to rid myself of him. I know you are concerned that I'm moving away from the situation too quickly, but if I don't, I'm afraid I'll stay stuck where I am, tormented by thoughts and memories of the man that I love and how he completely shattered my life.

 _End rant._

Beth dragged in a breath, winded from the words and emotions that had just been released. Along with the oxygen came the twinge of remorse for letting herself become so irritated with Jane when her sister was only trying to look out for her.

"I'm sorry, Beth. I don't mean to push you, but I just want to make sure you know what you are doing, because to me it seems like you are running, and not from Darcy, but from yourself and the feelings you don't want to admit to having." Beth knew she'd gone too far because Jane's voice was now heightened with aggravation; she didn't know the last time her and Jane had argued.

"You're right, Beth, I don't know what happened because you won't tell me. But I don't see how, without talking to him, that you can know with absolute certainty that he has moved on. I don't know him that well and I won't pretend that I've pressed Charles about it, but I've seen him since you left. He doesn't look like a man who's moved on – no mask can hide that. And he isn't bringing a date to my wedding. So again, from my limited knowledge, I think you are only making the situation worse for yourself, believing things that may or may not be true." Jane cut off here and Beth heard some commotion in the background. "I have to go, mom just got here. I love you."

 _Click._

Beth set the phone down numbly on the counter, a million thoughts fighting for the stage in her mind.

 _Why didn't he have a date?_ No, that wasn't the question… _Why wasn't he taking Caroline?_ They were both obviously going to the wedding, maybe they are trying to keep their relationship under wraps, too. Beth sat down numbly on the couch, her brain unable to even imagine the two of them together, it was too painful.

 _What did Jane mean?_ Why would she say he doesn't look like a man who's moved on? He never looks like anything except pompous and proud.

 _Could Jane be right? Was she sure that Darcy had moved on?_

No, there was no way he couldn't have. She'd see Caroline in his apartment with her own eyes – he'd moved on. Now, whether things had worked out with Caroline, Darcy full-well knowing that she was using him, was a whole different story.

That's what had hurt the most; knowing that he didn't care about Caroline, knowing that he knew she was using him even if he hadn't bothered to hear the specifics, and knowing that he'd still gone back to her. There was only one motive he could have had for doing that, and it was to hurt her, to spite her for having spied on him.

 _Couldn't he see that she'd already hurt enough just knowing that he'd found out about that?_

Beth tried to calm herself; these were the thoughts that could efficiently and expeditiously drag her back down to where she'd been months ago. That's why she had to remain unwavering in the face of Jane's words and opinions; she couldn't let them affect her perception of the situation – that would be dangerous; that would mean hope and hope, with Darcy, inevitably meant hurt.

There was one tear that managed to escape her eyes. It was a tear born from the deepest recesses of her heart, from the fear buried down deep inside there – and it had nothing to do with anything that Jane had said.

She'd admitted to being tormented by Darcy, and the ghost of him in her mind. But, that's not what she said. No, she admitted that he'd shattered her life, but the 'he' that she referred to was the man she loves.

 _Not loved. Loves. Present tense. 'Shattered her life' – past tense. 'The man she loves' – present tense._

 _That was a problem._

It was just a slip of the tongue, that's all; that's all she needed to keep telling herself. Opening back up her message to Col, she texted him again.

~ _We're all good. I just had to make sure it was ok with Jane, since I originally RSVP'd just by myself._

Grabbing her laundry basket, she opened the closet next to the kitchen to reveal her washer and dryer. Her phone buzzed on the counter with Colin's response as she tried to shove two week's worth of laundry into the tiny washer.

\- _I mean, I don't have to eat anything if it's a problem. And I won't need a seat because I'll be tearing up the dance floor._

Beth laughed. This was what she loved about Col – his effortless humor and the way it helped her forget her troubles. She just hoped that what she loved about him, would at some point translate into love for him…

~ _Well, I hope the paparazzi are there to catch photos of that, that's all I'm going to say._

 _\- Harsh. I am really sorry about that, though._

Closing the lid to the washing machine, she turned the 'Pause' off and the machine began to rumble. Biting her lip, the thought about whether or not she wanted to text him back about the photos – that they had been posted.

No – she wasn't going to start this with how she would react with Darcy. She would hesitate to tell _him_ out of concern that he'd be upset, out of concern for what he would do. Col was nothing like him and she couldn't treat him as though he were.

~ _They posted those photos of us from last night. Not with my name, but my sister in Chicago saw them and recognized me._

Followed by…

~ _I'm not upset. I just want you to know._

\- _SHIT, Beth. I'm so sorry. I'll have my people look into it and try to get them taken down. This won't happen again. No one is going to know that I'm coming to New York with you._

 _\- I'm going to tell everyone that I'll be in Philly scoping out the city for a new Contest race._

 _~ It's really ok, Col. Whatever you want to do. I can't hide forever. I'm going for a run – see you Monday!_

 _\- I'll handle it, don't worry. You'll be seeing me and coffee._

Beth set her phone down for good, pulling out a pair of running pants and a T. Her mind was fighting her every step of the way – remembering Darcy, thinking about seeing him, wondering about everything that Jane had suggested. She needed to run, if only she could run away from her thoughts. Throwing her hair up in a messy ponytail, she glanced into the bathroom at the vanity mirror one last time.

 _God, screw you, Darcy._ Beth pressed her hands against her eyes, willing them to not water. She headed blindly for the door; this was why she only had that one small mirror, and this was why she rarely ever looked in it.

 _All she saw is the permanent damage he did to her and even though she keeps saying 'never again', she just really wished she could forget all the times it was magic._


	7. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Beth unlocked the door to Jane's – her old – apartment, stepping inside the warm space. She felt a twinge of sadness, the flat hadn't felt like home in a long time – not since she'd moved in with Darcy, but the real root of that feeling was that she hadn't found a place to feel like home since, either. Her tiny, 'cozy' apartment in Boston was nice and it was her space – filled with candles and books, other peoples' photographs of far off places, but nothing had managed to make it feel like _home._

Lugging in her large duffel over-night bag, she walked through the familiar space, noticing the cardboard boxes cluttered around the space, slowing being filled with all of Jane's possessions as she prepared to move. Beth turned down the hallway towards her old bedroom, smiling when she reached the doorway, seeing that Jane hadn't really changed anything inside the room, except allowing it to become a little more cluttered.

 _You've only been gone like four months, why would she move stuff?_

Beth sighed. Soon all of this stuff was going to be gone; it was one of the other things she had to do while she was down here – move the rest of her stuff out, because Jane and Charles were going to be moving into their new place when they got back from their honeymoon.

Sliding the closet door open, she looked inside at most of her clothes still left hanging there from the night she left. Her fingers running down some of her favorite pieces, thinking that they would have come in handy for her date with Colin the other night.

 _Oh well._

Dropping her bag onto the bed, she opened it to take out her maid-of-honor dress – a sea-foam green, chiffon piece, floor-length and fitted in the chest area. Jane had found it at BHLDN, and thankfully there was one of those in Boston, so she hadn't needed to come back into the city for a fitting. Putting the dress on a hanger, she went into the bathroom and hung it on the back of the door, hoping that the steam from the shower she desperately needed to take would eliminate all the wrinkles.

She began to hum softly into the silence, unpacking the rest of her clothes that she would need for the weekend. Jane wouldn't be back for a little yet; she'd texted Beth to say that her and their mom were out at Blue Hill going over a few last-minute details for the upcoming weekend.

 _Three days._

Until the wedding. Until Darcy. Beth groaned, collapsing onto the bed, the best way to handle that fast-approaching situation still evading her mind. They hadn't talked since that night. I mean what was she supposed to say? He'd said it was over, she'd gone to explain herself, to fight for him, and he'd already moved on.

 _How do you act normally around each other after something like that?_

For Jane and Charles, they would have to. And, if she knew Darcy at all, which was questionable, the one thing he was good at was never showing his emotions with that impenetrably, intolerable mask of his – which meant that it was only she who was going to be left to struggle.

Honestly, it made her glad that she'd invited Col. Of course, she enjoyed his company, but now that she was allowing her mind to think through how seeing Darcy was going to go, she was relieved that she would have someone there _with_ her, to talk to, to distract her, anything.

Colin was flying in Friday night because of Contest stuff that he'd already had scheduled that day and then meeting her up at Blue Hill on Saturday for the ceremony and reception. All of the guests were to stay at one of the several hotels in Tarrytown, but the bridal party was reserved rooms at the Castle Hotel and Spa. The discussion had only been moderately awkward when she brought up about reserving him a room.

 _Yes, she liked him. No, there was no way they were staying in the same room._

He'd been completely fine with it too; he probably hadn't even been expecting to stay with her, which meant that it was only she who felt that the conversation was awkward.

Beth got up from the bed and went back into the bathroom for that shower that she'd been putting off, lost in the maze of her own thoughts. Her vision faltered for a second, blood rushing from her head as she got into the shower, overwhelmed by an intense deja-vu from the last shower she took in this apartment.

 _The same man still on her mind._

She allowed his face to come to the front of her thoughts; as much as she'd been pushing it away these last few months, that method wasn't going to help her this weekend. With him in front of her, next to her, touching her, walking her down the aisle, Beth needed to desensitize herself to Darcy and every remnant of feeling that she could possess for him.

 _It was just hard when welcoming him into her mind meant welcoming the intolerable ache that he left in her heart._

Beth turned off the water and stepped back out into the steam filled room; she'd left the fan off purposely to help steam her dress – which looked pretty good now. Wrapping her towel around herself, she opened the bathroom door and was greeted by her sister's familiar voice from down the hall.

"Beth?" Jane's questioning tone rounded the corner just before she did; her face lighting up with a smile at seeing her sister for the first time in almost five months.

"Jane," Beth exclaimed, returning her sister's excited expression just as Jane reached her and enveloped her into a hug.

"I'm so glad you're here! I missed you."

"I missed you too, sis," Beth replied in turn, wondering if Jane could ever really know how much.

"How was the flight down?" Jane asked, pulling out of their embrace.

"Fine. Quick," Beth shrugged. "I just wanted to shower and wash the airplane off of me. How are you? How is everything going? What can I do?" That was another thing that weighed on her – not just leaving Jane, but leaving her sister as she was planning her wedding, with her being the maid of honor.

She'd done as much as she could from Boston, emailing back and forth, texting photos to each other, but Jane had held back. Her sister hadn't even mentioned her upcoming wedding for the first two months that Beth had been gone. Finally, Beth brought it up because she wanted to be involved, even though it was painful. There was the unspoken guilt laced into Jane's words every time she brought up the wedding or Charles, ashamed to be so happy when Beth was hurting so badly. Beth had done her best, forced excessive levels of excitement to ooze out of her to try and reassure Jane that it was ok for her to be happy. She didn't need anyone else's unhappiness on her conscience but her own.

"Everything is good," Jane began, following Beth into her room so that she could get dressed; the warmth from the shower was starting to wear off. "I think I have everything under control, and if I don't, mom does. I'm sure you can imagine how crazy she's been over all of this – planning her first wedding. Well, I mean, there was Lydia's, but that wasn't anything…"

"Yeah, sorry for leaving you alone to deal with all that," Beth chuckled. "I hope you kept her in her place though and didn't let her bully you into anything."

"No…of course not. She's just so excited so, I try to take her thoughts into consideration of course…" Jane trailed off. Her denial emphasizing what Beth already knew to be true – that Jane had caved to their mother's wishes on some things even if it wasn't what she wanted.

"Oh, Jane. What am I going to do with you?"

"It's fine, Beth. It was just little stuff with seating and guests and whatnot. None of it mattered to me; as long as Charles and I are married by the end of the day, I don't care about anything else," Jane said wistfully, sitting on the bed as Beth rummaged through her old clothes, pulling out a pair of yoga pants and a tee to wear.

"So, what's the plan for the rest of the night? I'm hungry," Beth said as she pulled the shirt over her head.

"I was just thinking we could stay in and relax, talk, get some Chinese food like old times," Jane smiled. "Hard to believe that next week this won't be my home anymore…"

"Aww, Jane, but you're moving on—" Beth stopped abruptly halfway through pulling the yoga pants up over her hips when the sensation immediately brought her back to that day in the kitchen; Darcy delivering the flowers and note for Jane…pushing her up against the wall, kissing her, touching her; it was like it was happening all over again.

"Beth?" Jane's distinct, high-pitch of concern cut through the veil of the memory. "Are you ok?"

Her face flushed, and she looked down, grabbing her towel off the floor and beginning to fold it as some sort of excuse for not looking Jane in the eye. "Yes, sorry, just remembered something I have to do," she mumbled. "Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, right – you're moving on to more exciting things – a new life." Her rambling was starting to sound frantic, her voice eerily raised with the emotion that she was trying to hold back. "Hey, do you think you can grab me the menu for the Chinese place? It's been so long, I forget what they have there anymore." She gave Jane a sheepish smile to accompany her weak excuse for a moment alone.

 _It had only been four months. They'd eaten Chinese from the same place for years – there was no way four months would make her forget what was on the menu._

"I…um… sure. I think I still have one in the kitchen…" Jane replied, startled by the request, but too gullible to question the truth of Beth's request. "I'll be right back."

As soon as Jane was out the door, Beth sat on the bed, gulping in air with her head in her hands.

 _How was she ever going to make it through the weekend? She couldn't even remember being with Darcy without feeling overwhelmed. What was going to happen when she ACTUALLY had to be around him?_

"Here you go…Beth! Seriously, what's wrong?" Jane exclaimed, re-entering the room much quicker than Beth was expecting.

Only when she felt Jane's arm around her shoulders did she realize that she was shaking with sadness. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm ok. There are just a lot of memories here, a lot of things that I've buried and avoided in Boston that I'm now having to face; it's a lot."

"Alright, well why don't you just talk to me about it? I know you've been trying to be strong and on your own and all, but it's not working, Beth. You have to talk to me – even if you don't want my help or my opinion; you have to open up about something," Jane pleaded.

Beth nodded, swallowing over the lump in her throat.

"I'm going to order our usual for dinner and have it delivered. Then, I'm going to pour us both a glass of wine, which I thankfully have a whole cupboard full since mom insisted that we try each one to be served at the reception. By that point, I expect you to be on the couch and prepared to talk to me."

Beth nodded again. "Thank you," she said quietly as Jane released her to go back out into the kitchen to order their dinner.

 _Where would she even begin?_

Honestly, the only thing she wanted to talk to Jane about was where their conversation had been cut off at the other day; she wanted to know more about how _he_ had been in these four months.

Beth stood and looked around her old room absent-mindedly, feeling like she was missing something, but knowing there was nothing there for her to find. When she heard the wine pouring into their glasses, Beth tossed her phone onto the bed and padded out into the living room.

"I'm sorry, Jane. I didn't want to dump all of this on you again," Beth began, crossing her legs underneath her as she watched her sister recork the wine and pick up the two generously filled glasses.

Jane rolled her eyes, "Just talk to me, B."

"Where do I start?"

"Well, maybe with what happened that morning?" Jane suggested, passing Beth her glass.

Beth took a sip, needing that moment before she let those words pass through her mouth; it still wasn't enough. Instead she started with, "Do you know anything? Did he say anything to Charles and then Charles to you?"

Jane sighed, looking into her wine glass. "No, not really. We actually fought about it. I think it was our first fight, although I'm sure it's not what you would consider a fight, but for us it was." She laughed a little here before explaining. "Of course, I was a mess after you left, especially not knowing what had happened; you'd always come to me before…" _Shit._ "But, anyway…so, Charles could see how upset that I was and so I asked him if he'd talked to Darcy or if he knew what was going on. He told me that he'd talked to him; that Darcy had confided in him about a lot of things, was upset about a lot of things. I could tell that he was holding back something, and so I kept asking about it, but he couldn't – or wouldn't, tell me anything else; he just kept saying that their discussion really wasn't about you." Jane paused to take a sip of her wine. "I know there is more to it, but he couldn't tell me and he, honestly, looked shocked to hear that you had left, but that's all I know."

Beth nodded, sure that Darcy had talked him about Caroline – how could he not? Ignoring the burning sensation from her chest, she recited the words, the description of events that had happened that day, that she'd carefully boiled the trauma down to. "I went over to talk to him, to apologize. And when I got there, Caroline was there so, I left. He'd clearly moved on already."

Beth watched her sister's eyes widen and her mouth fall open in complete befuddlement.

"I don't understand," she whispered.

"You and me both."

"What if she was just there to talk to him? What did Darcy say to you?"

"She was naked." Jane's hand raised to cover her mouth. "And, he didn't say anything to me because I didn't see him; as soon as I saw her, I turned and ran. What could he possibly have to say with words, that wasn't better conveyed with the image of Caroline, naked, in his apartment?" Beth asked rhetorically, acid etching into her tone. She took a long sip of wine to wash the acrid taste of the words from her mouth.

"Oh my God, Beth. Oh my God…" Jane trailed off, still in shock. "I just can't understand it; I mean I know he wasn't the greatest boyfriend to you, but even for him that seems far too low, especially after everything that you learned about Caroline and her motives for wanting him. How could he just throw away everything that you had and everything you were working towards just like that?"

 _She wished she knew. God, if she had a nickel for every time she'd asked herself that question…_

"I don't know how he could do it; it's probably why I've had such a hard time moving on…or just moving at all," she paused to wipe a tear from her eye. Forcing a brave smile to her face, she continued, "I keep telling myself that I'm probably better off on my own than loving a man who didn't know what he had when he had it."

"He's too smart to not have known that, and he's too smart to think that there is anything redeemable in Caroline's character, after everything that she was trying to do… I just don't understand."

"I never got to tell him about the inheritance, so whether he really knows her plans or not I have no idea." Beth drained the remainder of the wine in her glass. "Maybe he is too smart, but maybe he was also too hurt by what I did. Maybe it was never about Caroline, or him, maybe he was just trying to hurt me."

Jane didn't respond. She sat in the chair next to the couch, her face drawn as her mind worked through everything she had just heard. Beth just watched, not knowing how or where to continue.

 _What else was left to say?_

A knock at the door startled them both.

"I'll get it," Jane said, standing quickly to go get their dinner from the delivery man.

Beth stood too, but only to walk into the kitchen and refill her glass with wine, not that she needed it right now, her body was warm, every cell touched with a hint of numbness except those in her heart.

"Why don't we eat something before we move on to round two?" Jane gently suggested, grabbing silverware from the drawer.

Just like old times they relaxed onto the couch, opening the cartons of lo mein and shrimp and sesame chicken, digging in to whatever they desired most.

After a few bites, Jane finally picked up the conversation. "He hasn't been the same since you left."

Beth swallowed her mouthful of noodles, unsure of how to response – unsure that she wanted to. She'd thought she wanted to know more about what Jane had hinted at on the phone, that Darcy was suffering too. _Suffering from what, she couldn't fathom; this was his choice._ Now she wondered if that was the right thing to want, in the long run. She couldn't afford to question his feelings for her; it had been hard enough to believe what they were months ago. Could she handle hearing that maybe they had changed? Did she want that possibility?

 _She didn't know what she wanted anymore._

"If I didn't know what happened, I would think that he was hurting inside just as much as you," Jane finished softly.

 _Too late._

"What do you mean?" Beth asked, unable to stop herself. She knew it would torture her later, that she would regret it later, but _now,_ she needed to know.

"Not that I see him all the time, of course," Jane clarified, "but, he hasn't looked like his old self, especially when you and he were together. When you catch him alone, he just looks lost, and then around people, he's changed. I mean, he'll never be like Charles, but he makes more of an attempt now to be engaging and I would even say amiable. It's not much by normal standards, but compared to what he was before, it's significantly noticeable." Beth stared at her sister trying to absorb what she said, the picture she painted wasn't anything like the Darcy that Beth knew. "Also, I guess a not-insubstantial part of my shock at what you told me comes from the fact that I've never seen him with or heard him mention Caroline."

"No?" Beth managed to squeak out. _Interesting._

Although, they'd kept their relationship a successful secret all those years ago, why wouldn't they be able to now? Except for the fact that Caroline needed her parents to realize that she was in a relationship.

 _Or did she?_

"Wait, did Caroline turn thirty already? What happened to her?" Beth asked, new thoughts plaguing her.

"She did…" Jane trailed off, taking another bite of her chicken. "I'm not too sure. After that day, her and Charles haven't really spoken and I think because of that she hasn't reached out to me. I mean, she's still in the wedding, but I think she's basically not talking to anyone in her family now. If you mean about the inheritance and how she's surviving… it could be that her parents are helping her, but from the few things that I've seen and heard, it's more likely that Mrs. DeBourgh has sponsored her."

 _So then maybe Darcy is distraught because Caroline has given up on him._ No, that wouldn't make sense. Mrs. DeBourgh's generosity won't last forever, she needs that money; she still needs Darcy.

"Or maybe Darcy is paying for it all," Beth heard herself say, not realizing that the thought had even occurred to her until it was out in the open.

"Maybe…" was all Jane said, not having enough information to disagree with her. "It just doesn't make sense. Charles won't talk to her really unless their parents are around, and he won't tell me why; he just said that she hasn't changed and that he's given up on her and their relationship. My only thought would be that he knows about her and Darcy. But then why would he still talk to Darcy and not to her."

"I don't know," Beth agreed, stacking the empty food cartons on the coffee table and picking up her glass of wine again. "Who knows what her plan is… All I know is that I'm no longer an obstacle in it, which it fine by me. My main concern right now is figuring out what I'm going to feel seeing Darcy again, and how I'm going to handle it without making a mess of myself."

"I'm sorry…" Jane murmured, feeling guilty knowing that she was the cause of their meeting again.

"Don't be, Jane. Maybe it'll be a good thing, for me…like some sort of closure on the entire situation since I haven't seen him since that night. At least, I hope it will," Beth sighed, the truth finally coming out. "I'm just tired, Jane; I'm tired of fighting off his memories. I'm tired of fighting to forget everything good that happened between us, the words, the touches, the intimacy, the fire. Everything reminds me – or tries to, and my dreams are no better." She took another long sip of wine, the exhaustion of her battle evident in her voice. "Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I swear I can feel him next to me again, and God help me, I miss him and I just wish he were a better man – to me, at least." A few rogue tears streaked down her face. "I know the next few days are going to be rough, but I need it because I don't seem to be able to move on without that final, solitary, solidifying 'good-bye.'"

"Well, you know if there is anything that I can do, please tell me. I don't want to make this any harder than it already is for you," Jane began, biting her lower lip, contemplating if she should say what she was about to. "I think… I think I should tell Charles that you are bringing Colin, or at least that you are bringing a date."

Beth raised her eyebrows, wondering where her sister was going with this.

"I haven't told anyone – not even mom. I figured it would be better for you to maybe have that conversation when you see her tomorrow. But, I think I should tell Charles, so that he can decide if it's something that Darcy should know."

Beth felt her face begin to flush in irritation. "Why should he need to know? Jane, _he doesn't care about me_ and he _won't care_ whether I have a date or not." He didn't deserve that kind of pre-emptive insight into her life.

"Beth, I know what you said happened, I know what it looks like, I understand – I really do, but you have to understand that while you've been dealing with this by yourself in Boston, Charles has been dealing with Darcy here – the more frequent phone calls, visits, dinners, drinks. I didn't see him for a while after, so I don't know that I would classify what I saw as 'sad,' but Darcy's been driven…determined…for what I don't know, but underneath the now very thin cool exterior, I get this feeling of desolation from him, like he's trying to do something that he knows is impossible. It's incredibly disheartening, if you pay close enough attention," Jane paused, noticing the anger rising in Beth's expression. "Of course, none of that justifies what he did to you, but I think this weekend is going to be hard on the both of you for different reasons, and I'm not going to try to purposefully make someone suffer at my wedding, especially when that person is either my sister or my fiancé's best man."

Beth closed her eyes, draining the last of her wine before responding.

 _Ok, maybe she had been holding out with the small hope that seeing her with Col would hurt Darcy, at least a tenth of the way he had hurt her._

And if it was going to hurt him, it would regardless of whether he knew about it ahead of time or not.

"You're right," Beth acquiesced. "This is your day. You need to do whatever you think is best for everyone involved. Purposely trying to hurt Darcy is only going to bring me farther away from the closure that I need."

"And maybe Charles won't want to tell him, I just don't want to make that call…" Jane offered, softly.

Beth just nodded, standing and picking up Jane's wine glass from the table, she walking into the kitchen to rinse them out. "I'm going to head to bed; traveling just drains me."

"Alright. Well, there's nothing really going on tomorrow. Lydia flies in in the afternoon; I'm not sure if she'll stop by here or just go straight to mom's. I was just planning on packing," Jane said, standing and walking to the beginning of the hallway.

"Ok, sounds good. Wait, is George not coming with her?" Beth asked in confusion.

"No. She responded for one. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with Darcy or their deal… But she's coming alone." Jane shrugged her shoulders, unsure if there was more of a reason there or not. "I'll see you in the morning."

Drying her hands, Beth moved to give her sister a hug. "Thank you."

"I'm always here for you."

"I know."

Laying in her bed, the familiar feel and scent of her recent home surrounding her brought her no comfort as she tossed and turned trying to fall asleep. The frustration of not being able to shut down her brain just one more thing to add to her pile of disorganized emotions.

 _She wouldn't cry anymore._

Beth kept thinking it, even as she ignored the watery streaks down her cheeks. What was most upsetting – most aggravating – wasn't what Jane had told her, or that she wanted to tell Charles about Beth bringing a date. No, it was the flutter, the tingle inside her chest – like blood rushing back into a limb after it's fallen asleep – at the rationally hopeless thought that maybe Darcy was suffering just as much as she was. She'd cut off her heart from all of these feelings, and at the first crumbs of hope, it sprung back to life. And just like with a limb, that feeling seeping back into her heart burned painfully as it begged to be brought back to life.

 _And she cried not because she wanted it, but because she shouldn't._

She shouldn't want the feelings, the pain, the inevitable disappointment that _always_ came with _everything_ involving Darcy. She should want Colin – the gentleman, the one who treated her respectfully, considerately, kindly, the one with the movie-star smile and the dazzling personality that miraculously came along with it. But no, she needed _him_ – the cold and callous one, the too-proud-for-his-own-good one, the devastating and devastatingly handsome one, the insufferable and yet, impossibly desirable one?

She couldn't win every battle with her emotions, finally letting her tears sing her to sleep.

 _Why did everything about Darcy have to be so damned intolerable?_

 _Why did he have to be everything she needed?_


	8. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Beth stared off in a daze at her reflection in front of her, waiting as Jane finished curling the last few strands of hair on the back of her head that she'd been struggling to reach.

 _It was the calm before the storm._ Tonight, she would see not only Darcy, but Caroline Bingley, for the first time since that fateful night almost five months ago.

Beth felt her nerves begging to be set free to speculate through all of the wild possibilities of how tonight would go.

They'd arrived at the Castle Hotel later that morning and unpacked, after which, her, Jane, seven-months pregnant Lydia, and their mom had gone over to Blue Hill to drop off some last-minute décor before the rehearsal later that evening. (Mary and Kat insisting that they didn't want to go up there again, that they would rather hang out in the hotel by the pool.)

It had been weird being with her whole family again – except her dad. When she saw him, she could have cried with how much she missed him. Their reunion had been a complete one-eighty from that with Irene. Still clearly upset that Beth had left town without telling her or explaining her motives, her mom had barely spoken two words to her. _Because Lydia hadn't tried to do the exact same thing_. But, that was _her Lydia._ There were clearly a different set of standards that their mother had for her.

Beth sighed, knowing how upset Lydia's leaving had made Irene. Maybe this was her mother's way of coping with Beth's sudden departure. So, with that guilt nagging at her, Beth tried to be extra nice to her mom instead of just brushing her off. But, to smooth over the tension between them, Beth had offered her mother, on a silver platter, the delicious fact that she was actually bringing a date to the wedding.

 _At which point, Beth almost preferred the cold distance between them and the absence of conversation._

Not that anything was going to overshadow her excitement for her oldest daughter's wedding, but the knowledge that Beth was bringing a date came pretty darn close. The entire drive out to Tarrytown had been filled with question after excited question, with barely a pause for breath in-between let alone to allow Beth an opportunity to actually answer.

 _No, that wasn't quite true._

Irene had paused long enough to hear _who_ her date was. After that, they couldn't get to their destination fast enough; Beth practically stumbling out of the car before Jane had even turned it off to get some fresh air, suffocated by the stifling inquiries into her no-longer-personal life.

No, her mother's reaction hadn't been a shock – Lydia, on the other hand, seemed like a completely different person. She'd only been around her for maybe an hour, but the change was drastic since the last time they'd been in the same room over six months ago. She was no longer whiny and assertive, either pestering or competing with their mother for control of the conversation. She was subdued and, surprisingly, seemed almost as annoyed as Beth at their mother's constant questions and speculations. Almost – because she wasn't the topic of them; that honor fell squarely on Beth.

 _Maybe marriage wasn't all that Lydia had thought it would be._

 _Or maybe men weren't all that she thought they would be._ Amen to that, Beth mentally agreed.

George hadn't come with her, as Jane had said. It wasn't too much of a disappointment to the group since no one really wanted him there anyway. Beth attributed his absence to his deal with Darcy. Lydia though, couldn't miss her sister's wedding.

Beth wanted to reach out to her, to actually talk to her outside of a group of people and really get a sense of what was going on. The only problem was that she and Lydia had never been particularly close and the fact was that she was barely keeping her head above the waters of worry crashing around her. What help or advice could she possible give to Lydia?

 _She'd fallen for a man just as intolerable as George – who was she to judge?_

The only difference was that Lydia was inextricably tied to a man she no longer seemed so enthused about, whereas Beth was free – free to wish she was just as trapped.

Arriving at the venue had put a halt to Mrs. Bennet's interrogation, her focus temporarily drawn back to the main event of the weekend. They'd strolled through the space, Jane attempting to show her sisters where everything was going to take place, inevitably always cut off by Irene interjecting her own thoughts and opinions.

Leaving Beth and Lydia in the courtyard outside where the ceremony was going to take place, Jane and their mom went to drop off the boxes of flowers and menus inside with Blue Hill's wedding coordinator. The courtyard was surrounded by the main restaurant and event building that had a L-shape to it. The building was covered in windows, giving anyone inside an unobstructed view of the event going on. After the ceremony, they would head into the right side of the building for a cocktail hour, after which guests would be funneled back across the courtyard into the left side of the building where the main reception hall was for dinner. And then, assuming the weather cooperated, dancing would be back out in the courtyard underneath the stars.

Beth stared down the 'aisle' that she would be walking later.

 _With Darcy._

The wooden chairs set up on either side, leading down to a wooden arched trellis, adorned with simple white flowers. Beth smiled to herself – the rustic elegance was very Jane. She'd been expecting to show up and see some over-the-top, gaudy ceremony space courtesy of Irene, but it looked like Jane had held her ground more than she'd let on.

Beth slowly strolled up the aisle, her hand gently resting on one chair after another as she made her way to the front. At least tonight she would get out all of her anxieties and uncertainties about seeing Darcy again, then tomorrow, this walk would be a piece of cake. _Ha!_ She groaned at her annoyingly wishful thinking.

She turned around to see Lydia sitting in one of the guest chairs at the now far end of the aisle, her hand resting on her protruding stomach, staring down vacantly at where her unborn child resided. With a sigh, and the urge to talk to her youngest sister that she'd never before felt, Beth walked back towards her.

"Hey," she began quietly, stirring Lydia from her distracted reverie.

"Hey."

"How's everything going with the baby?" Beth watched as Lydia's hand began to rub over her stomach lovingly.

A smile broke over Lydia's face. "Good, she's good; it's a girl," she half-whispered to Beth. "Don't tell mom. I don't want to hear about all the names that I should name her right now…" She laughed a little, knowing that Beth would understand her reasoning.

The only thing Beth didn't understand was why _Lydia_ – out of all of them – now had those feelings; six months ago, she would have never kept any of this from their mother. Hell, she probably would have tried to make Jane's entire wedding about her and her baby.

"How's Chicago?"

"It's alright," Lydia said, the smile falling from her face, her voice turning hollow.

"What's going on? You seem different… Is everything ok with George?" Beth asked, maybe a little too bluntly, but she didn't have the emotional capacity right now to tip-toe around the issue.

Lydia started at the question, her face flushing as she took a moment to collect her thoughts before responding. "I'm different because nothing is like I thought it would be, so how could I stay the same?" she asked rhetorically. "Life doesn't always work out the way that you plan or want it to; except with this little girl." She paused as her hand rubbed over her stomach. "Having her, loving her so much already is more than I expected."

Beth just stared, wondering if she was dreaming, waiting for the self-obsessed Lydia to make her appearance, waiting for her to start ranting and raving about how perfect George is. "How's George doing with everything? Is he excited?"

Lydia let out a self-deprecating laugh. "I left him."

 _WHAT?!_

Beth felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her, Lydia's words punching her so strongly right in the gut. She just stared at her sister for who knows how many seconds, the shock paralyzing her ability to think or respond.

"I know that you know him and that you know it's the right thing for me to have done," Lydia whispered, sadness creeping into her eyes at her admission that no one else would be able to understand or approve of her leaving George, especially being seven months pregnant.

 _And by no one, they both knew she meant their mother._

Just as Beth found her wherewithal to respond, Irene's voice cut through the heavy silence that had settled over the courtyard confessional. Lydia's eyes darted to hers, a silent plea to say nothing of this to their mother or Jane.

 _Who was the woman sitting in front of her? Where was the spoiled brat of a sister that had left for Chicago months ago?_ Beth just stared at her little sister, her heart starting to ache for whatever it was that she had endured. Yes, she had been obnoxious and annoying and spoiled, but Lydia had always been upbeat, always excited for the simple things. Now, she looked defeated – the only thing keeping her going was the life growing inside of her.

Jane could sense that something was going on between her two sisters, but Irene was completely oblivious to anything that didn't have to deal with her one daughter's upcoming wedding, and her other daughter's chosen plus one for the nuptials.

"So, what do you think Beth? Lydia? Isn't it wonderful?" she continued right where she had left off. "It's going to be the most talked about event of the season, I just know it. Of course," she paused. "I'm sure it will be nothing like the Hollywood parties that your Mr. Dempsey is quite used to."

Beth rolled her eyes; her mother's focus of excitement clearly struggling to center on either Jane's wedding or McDreamy's brother as her date. She didn't even bother to try to explain _again_ that Colin wasn't a movie star and therefore, wasn't a part of any of those parties. Irene wanted to believe what she wanted to believe. And sometimes, it was just better to let it go that way.

"Oh," her mother started, assaulted by a thought, "what about Mr. Darcy? I could have sworn he had a thing for you, Beth. I hope you having a date doesn't upset him, after all we wouldn't be –" Jane quickly cut her mother off, obscuring the train of thought.

"When does Col get here? I should have asked sooner, Beth, I'm sorry. Will he be at dinner tonight?" Jane asked fervently, piquing Beth's curiosity as to what their mother had been about to reveal that Jane didn't want her to know.

 _This was another thing she didn't miss about the city and her family – all the secrets._

It didn't matter; if it had to do with Darcy, she didn't care, she couldn't. "He's actually not getting in until early tomorrow morning, unfortunately. We have a big event coming up; it's a miracle that he even took off this weekend to come down here with me, really," Beth answered, thinking about how true what she said was. Col has so many other important things that he could…and probably should be doing, and yet, he was taking time away from _his_ center – _his_ baby – to be here with her.

"Oh, Beth," Irene exclaimed, her eyes wide as they climbed back into the car, "that must mean he really likes you! This is wonderful! Can you imagine – Charles Bingley for one son-in-law, and Colin Dempsey for another!" Beth clenched her teeth as her mother practically squealed. "Oh, and of course my dear George, Lydia, my very first son-in-law."

Beth's eyes darted to Lydia, sitting quietly on the other side of the back seat rubbing her stomach absentmindedly, her blank stare focused firmly outside the window completely oblivious to what their mother had said – either that or she purposely ignoring it. The old Lydia would have jumped the second Mrs. Bennet had excluded George from her initial statement, begging for the attention to be back on her. Now, this Lydia, was squished as far into the corner of the car as possible, determined to try and get as far away from this conversation as she possibly could; if only their mother would let her go that easily.

"Lydia? Dear, don't be upset with me. I said that Geor—" Irene persisted, having no perception into what her daughter was actually feeling, until Beth cut in, willingly martyring herself to keep George out of the discussion and Lydia's secret, and pain, sequestered.

"Mom, Colin said he's very excited to meet you, I just wanted to let you know and ask that you please be on your best behavior; please don't say anything embarrassing about me," Beth blurted out, cringing at everything that she'd just said, especially knowing that it would set of giant red warning lights in Jane's head that there was something wrong with Lydia since Beth would _never_ otherwise utter such things.

It had been the start of a very tortuously long, twenty-minute ride back to the Castle Hotel, filled with lots of deep breaths and fake smiles. _But, at least Lydia had been spared._

"All done, Beth." Jane's voice drew her back to the present, away from the events of earlier that afternoon.

Frustratingly, she hadn't had another chance to talk to Lydia alone since they'd gotten back exactly when they needed to start getting ready for the evening. Disappointingly for Jane as well, since Irene refused to leave Jane's side, preventing her from asking Beth what was going on with their younger sister; their mother even had Mr. Bennet bring her dress for the evening over to her daughter's room so that she could get ready there.

Beth had put on sweats and came to Jane's suite to ask for her help with her hair and makeup – the four months of not caring only making her dismal skills in those areas that much worse. She hadn't realized that Irene was going to be there the entire time. As much as she wanted to stay with Jane, she needed a break from their mother. So, with her hair and make-up done, Beth made sure her sister was ok before insisting, with apologetic eyes, that she needed to go back to her own room to finish getting ready. She really just needed a moment alone. First, what had happened this afternoon, and now, the imminent situation of seeing Darcy again – it was an informational and emotional overload.

Leaving the bridal suite barefoot and in her sleeping t-shirt and yoga pants, she quietly padded down the hall to where her room was located, in the older section of the castle. She bit her lip, knowing that Colin's room had to be in the newer section of the castle, on the other side of the reception area, since he'd been a last-minute addition.

Nearing the end of the hallway, she rounded the corner to where hers and one other room were left; she rounded the corner and her legs came to a screeching halt, as though she'd run into a wall.

 _She had._

It was a wall of layered with bricks of need, of anger, of hurt, of passion, of memories, of love, of loss.

 _It was a wall of Darcy._

"Hello, Beth," he said calmly, the deep smoothness of his voice spreading over her, bringing goosebumps to every inch of her skin; the sound evoking far, far too many memories of things she'd rather forget.

 _Of course, he would have the room across from hers. Of freaking course._

"Hello," she responded hoarsely, hating her voice for advertising her weakness. Her gaze trapped on him; he was still the most beautiful man she'd ever seen – nothing had changed that. Beth felt hot and cold at the same time, as though she was blushing, yet like all the blood was draining from her face. Like her emotions, her body seemed at complete odds with how to respond to seeing him.

"How are you?" he asked, politely, his key in the doorknob, but his hand paused from turning the handle while he spoke to her. He looked at her as though one false move would make her disappear; his face poorly concealing the pain of seeing her again, and so unexpectedly, too.

"I'm fine," she responded more confidently, her annoyance with herself powering her steady tone. She didn't want to return the question, but the words left her mouth of their own volition, drawn to him from deep inside of her. "How about you?"

The corner of his lips twitched up in a poor attempt at a smile, his eyes boring into hers and she knew that he wanted nothing more than to take her, pull her into his room, and have his way with her. And just like that, the look was gone, his gaze back on the inanimate door in front of him, a brief glance back to her showed his old mask, the old Darcy, was back in place.

"It was good seeing you, Beth. I'll see you later," he said, completely composed before he disappeared into his room, the door shutting behind him punctuating the curtness of his words.

Beth walked numbly to her door, fumbling to get her key into the handle, relieved when she crossed the threshold and closed the door behind her. Sagging back against the solid wood for support she tried to calm her racing heart from the myriad of emotions that were trying to overwhelm it.

 _This was not how she'd planned on seeing him after all this time. This was not how she'd planned on confronting him after everything that he'd done._

No, she hadn't expected to run into him in the hallway outside of her…no, outside of both of their rooms. Beth groaned, wondering what a dangerous position the proximity put them in.

Jane was right, he did look different and he acted differently, too. Being able to see the pain of he felt on seeing her etched into his face had shocked her. _Where had his unbreakable mask gone?_ It had eventually shown up, but it was nothing like the immediate, flick-of-a-switch ability to turn himself off like he'd had before. The old Darcy probably would have just nodded at her without a word, and left her standing in his callous wake. He'd tried to be cordial – or as cordial as he was capable of being. There was still that distance, the aloofness that surrounded him, but now it was a struggle for him to maintain it.

 _This wasn't the Darcy she had met at the Gala; this wasn't the Darcy she had abandoned her entire life because of four months ago; this was something new._

Pushing herself off from against the door, Beth walked over to the closet to get out her dress. She needed to finish getting ready; they were leaving in fifteen minutes.

Pulling on her simple, gray sheath dress, with the only thing exciting about it being the deep V-neck in the front, Beth took a look at herself in the floor-length closet mirror.

 _Maybe it was a good thing she'd run into Darcy like she had._

She almost now felt a relief of all the expectations that she'd had on seeing him again in such a public and important setting. She didn't know what to expect from herself – whether it would be rage, or sadness, or pain, or worse… longing.

It had been all, and yet none, of those things. Mostly, it had started with just plain shock, a disbelief if the encounter was really happening, that he was really standing there; it had been uncertainty at how he was going to handle the situation, how he was going to treat her, knowing the last things that were spoken between them. All of those simple, immediate reactions had suppressed the complicated emotions she'd expected to feel.

Tugging her plain white pumps on, she gave herself one last look before walking back over to the door, her hand pausing on the doorknob, wondering if Darcy would be waiting for her on the other side.

 _Wondering or wishing?_ Shaking her head in annoyance, Beth yanked the door open to an empty hallway, more carefully walking back towards Jane's room.

She was glad that she hadn't felt anger, at least she'd gotten that under control. To be angry, she would have to feel hurt, she would have to feel wronged in order to feel angry… and she didn't want to invite those emotions back into her life; they almost destroyed her the last time. Beth just wanted to feel nothing for him; to be able to look at him, talk to him, walk with him down the aisle as if he had never meant anything at all to her; it was an unreasonable expectation, but then again, she'd always had those for herself.

Now that she'd gotten her first encounter with Darcy over, she couldn't find it in herself to care about seeing Caroline Bingley. No matter what the woman had done to her in the past, the fact was that she would have never been at Darcy's, with Darcy, if he hadn't wanted her. So, Caro could be happy, she could gloat – Beth just couldn't care about it anymore.

She met Jane, her mother, and younger sisters by Jane's room. They all walked down and out to the limo together; Charles, his groomsmen, and Caroline were meeting them at the venue.

She climbed into the limo, scooting down to sit by Lydia, the both of them staring off absentmindedly, lost in their own thoughts.

Now that the shock of seeing him had worn off, Beth wondered what emotion she would experience next. But more than that, she was curious to see Darcy amidst all these other people, most of them her family, and see if she still noticed that change in him or if it had just been a fluke – a momentary lapse in all rational, emotional restraint that had caused his cold mask to crack.

 _There was something distinctly different about him and the need to figure out what it was gnawed painfully at her; she felt the need to see him again._

 _She needed a new first impression of Darcy – if something like that was even possible._


	9. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Beth walked next to Lydia, behind Jane and their mother, into the courtyard that they had left only a few hours earlier. Charles was standing at the end of the aisle talking to his three friends from law school and his father. Beth's eyes were immediately alert.

 _Where was Darcy?_

Her eyes darted around the space, looking for the striking face that was so painfully familiar to her; she didn't see him.

 _Maybe he wasn't here yet._

Irene's loud exclamation on seeing Mrs. Bingley startled her, bringing her back to the moment as they were approached by Mrs. Bingley and the preacher. Beth returned Mrs. Bingley's hug as she welcomed everyone in their group.

 _Where was Caro?_

Again, she scanning the area looking for either of the two people responsible for her heartbreak, her eyes coming up empty just as a shiver ran down her spine. Her senses telling her that someone was watching her, someone that she couldn't see. Anxious nausea rolled through her, remembering the weeks that Caro had been stalking her.

 _Don't go there, Beth. She has no reason to harass you now._

"Alright, let's get this show on the road. I'm hungry," Mr. Bingley exclaimed with a smile on his face as he patted his stomach.

"Oh, psh," Mrs. Bingley scolded him, rolling her eyes at her husband's impatience.

"Of course, we can get started right away," Jane said with a smile, trying to appease her future father-in-law. "Who are we missing?"

Charles looked around for a second, "where did Darcy go? He was just here…"

Now everyone's eyes scanned the courtyard, as the electricity setting Beth's nerves on edge increased.

 _It was definitely Darcy who was watching her._

For some reason her eyes shot to the glass windows of the reception hall that looked down on the ceremony space; it wasn't 'some reason'. _It was Darcy._ He was standing at the window, looking directly at her. Meeting his gaze lit her body in a familiar flame.

A split second later, Charles spotted him, raising his hand and motioning for him to come down. "Hey, we're ready Darcy!" he yelled, even though it was unlikely that Darcy could hear him.

"Oh Charles!" Irene exclaimed, looking around her frantically. "Where's Caroline? We need her, too."

Beth watched the shadows that crossed over the Bingley family's faces. Charles' eyes dropped to the ground for a second. "I don't think she's going to make it for the rehearsal, unfortunately. She'll just have to wing it tomorrow." Jane reached down to squeeze his hand – the hurt and frustration with his sister for being so careless on such an important event for him ringing clear in his tone.

Darcy made it over to the group at that moment, the preacher taking hold of the conversation and beginning to instruct everyone how the ceremony would go.

"Ok, Charles, you will begin at the altar. Once the music begins, Mr. and Mrs. Bingley, you will start the procession in from behind the corner of this building here." He paused to motion to the corner of the reception building, behind which the bridal party would be waiting to make their entrance. He continued to talk, but Beth felt a familiar heat beginning to suffuse through her body shutting down input from her other senses. Like the sun was drawn up voluntary or not, into the sky every morning, so was her gaze drawn to Darcy, pulled to him by forces greater than herself.

When she looked his way, her eyes immediately met his. His gaze had been resting on her, waiting for her to find him. Beth found herself lost in him and the sea of emotions rolling in his turbulent eyes. His desire for her was unmistakable, but there was so much more conveyed than just that – so much more than she was expecting. Like earlier in the hall, there was a distinct apprehension as though she were going to disappear any moment for good.

She felt herself nudged from behind. "Beth," Lydia whispered, breaking her and Darcy's moment. The group had begun to disperse, about to leave her and Darcy to be standing in an awkward staring contest in the middle of the courtyard if Lydia hadn't intervened. Beth turned and gave Lydia a weak smile of thanks before fixing her gaze on Jane and following the bridal party over to practice the processional.

The bright side about having to walk down the aisle with Darcy was that it meant she couldn't look at him – unless she planned on walking sideways. Mrs. Bennet lined everyone up along the side of the building; Irene would be first, escorted tomorrow down the aisle by Phil Gardiner, followed by Kat, Lydia, and Mary accompanied by Charles' friends, then a break on the bridesmaid side since Caroline wasn't there, and finally Beth and Darcy, and Jane and their father bringing up the end of the train.

"Mr. Darcy," Irene's voice rang out. "You remember my daughter, Beth?" Beth clenched her teeth, forcing her eyes not to roll at her mother's attempt at a reintroduction. She quickly stepped into line, following as her mother directed, to stand next to Darcy just wanting her mom to move on and not make this any worse. When Irene just stood there, waiting, Beth felt anxiety creep over her. Her gaze darted up to him out of the corner of eye, trying to see if he was just as unnerved. He captured her gaze, a cordial smile pasted onto his face.

"Miss Bennet, so nice to see you again," he said softly. Her brow furrowed for a moment, wondering what was going on; he'd just seen her, why was he…

 _Oh._

"You too, Mr. Darcy," she replied quietly.

No one knew they'd met in the hallway; he was addressing her publicly so that everyone would think that this was the first time they'd seen each other since Beth returned from Boston. He was trying to spare her from prying questions, especially the ones from her mother who had chosen to stand and observe the interaction between her second-oldest daughter and the infamous Mr. Darcy.

Beth watched as he then turned over his should to look at Jane.

"Jane, you look very lovely tonight," Darcy said, his features warming as his smile spread a little more genuinely over his face. Jane's face blushed at his compliment, as she murmured a thank you. The interaction was enough to indicate to Mrs. Bennet that the show between Beth and Darcy was over and so she returned to take her place at the front of the line.

When her mother walked away, he began to turn forward again, his gaze briefing pausing to rest on her. "You look very nice tonight, too, Beth."

She sucked in air to her lungs. His compliment seemed mild, but the look he gave her told her that 'nice' was a huge understatement. The desire that burned in his eyes was just as strong and bright as it had been months ago every time he looked at her as though he needed to have her to survive.

 _Well he'd have to figure out another way to survive._

The practice processional had begun to move forward, both of them forced to focus on the event going on around them. Darcy cocked out his elbow – the last thing needed before they could walk down the aisle. Beth stared at it as they took the last step forward, about to move out from behind the building. With a deep breath, she placed her hand onto his arm as they started to walk.

 _It was a mistake._

Even though she had tried to rest it on him as gently as possible and even though there was at least two layers of clothing between her hand and his skin, she could still feel the heat of him searing through her. The intensity of it almost causing her to jerk her hand away, but her rational brain stalling her from creating a scene. Forcing what was hopefully a small smile onto her face, she tried to walk calmly in-step with Darcy down the last fifteen feet of the aisle.

 _Just breathe, Beth._

She tried, but she felt like even breathing was a struggle right now. Her senses fuzzy from where they were touching. She'd forgotten how easily she was physically consumed by her own need for him. Her dress felt tight and constricting, her breasts straining against the material. Her nipples, noticeably sensitive against the material of her bra; it was all so familiar.

When they broke from each other at the end of the aisle, Darcy going to stand next to Charles, and Beth taking her place at the beginning of the rest of her sisters, it was only then that she felt the oxygen being dragged into her lungs. Her senses returned to her just as Jane and their father made it up to the preacher.

At this point, the preacher motioned for everyone to gather around as he began to run through a summary of the ceremony. Beth watched his mouth move mindlessly as her thoughts were drawn elsewhere.

 _Or to the man on the other side of the aisle._

Most of what she was feeling, she tried to push aside – the feeling of being next to him, touching him, it was all just reminiscent of their past, she kept telling herself that she knew that. What she did want to focus on was the nuanced changes that she'd again noticed. Yes, he was still reserved and distant, but the old Darcy would never have reached out to Jane, or her, like that.

Jane was right – it wasn't even in the same realm as Charles' personality, but it definitely wasn't like Darcy either; reserved politeness had been a stretch for him before.

The other thing that she'd noticed was the familiar dark desire brewing in his eyes caged behind a thick haze of sadness and regret.

 _She couldn't understand it._

The shifting of everyone around her caused Beth to halt her musings. The rehearsal was over, it was time to head to dinner. She looked around wishing Col was here to help her feel comfortable; Jane was walking next to Charles, her dad was locked into a conversation with her mom and Mr. Bingley, and she, well, she was alone. Beth stole one last glance at Darcy and, feeling like she would become easy prey if she didn't put some distance between them, turned quickly toward the exit.

Suddenly, an arm linked through hers from behind; looking back, Beth saw it was Lydia who had attached to her. Her eyebrows raised curiously at _Lydia_ coming to her rescue, coming to her support.

"I didn't know it was possible either," she whispered quietly, her voice almost completely lost amongst the commotion, "to feel like you are suffocating and yet realize it's the air around that's drowning you." Beth just nodded as the truth of her little sister's words washed over her. "So, where is dinner again?" Lydia asked as they turned and walked slowly back to the limo; her tone switched towards more superficial conversation to disguise the pain that neither of them wanted to talk about.

The car brought them all back to the Castle Hotel, and the Equus restaurant, where the rehearsal dinner was taking place. They had the entire closed-in patio all to their party, the tables broken down to seat six people per in order to accommodate everyone. The bride and groom-to-be sat at a table with their parents, the bridal party split up into bridesmaids and groomsmen, with Charles' grandparents seated with the groomsmen, and the Gardiners seated with Beth and her remaining sisters. It was a reprieve to know that she wasn't at the same table as Darcy. She set her purse down on her chair, the position of which put him at her back – so she wasn't tempted to look at him.

 _Ok, she was tempted. But it would have been too obvious._

Before even sitting down, Beth went in search of the restroom just to have a brief moment to herself. _Another mistake._ When she returned, she saw her purse had been moved; Phil's wife had taken her seat. Walking up to the chair next to Lydia, where her clutch now resided, she turned to her sister with a questioning glance.

"Sorry," Lydia mumbled, "he said something about wanting to be able to see the almost-newlyweds." Beth just nodded briefly in response before Phil approached her himself and enveloped her into a hug.

"Beth!" he exclaimed. "It's so good to see you."

"Good to see you, too," she said, returning the embrace.

"How's everything going? Boy, I sure do miss you at Gardiner – and so do your clients! Let me tell you. I've already had Renée email me and tell me that if you won't coordinate her birthday party still this year, she's just not going to have one," he chuckled – _drama queen._

Beth smiled, knowing that Renée would probably contact her personally when it came time – and she would be happy to do it. "She's a piece of work, that's for sure," she replied with a smile. "Everything has been going really well, actually. It's a whole different vibe, working for a non-profit, and I'm finding myself really enjoying it."

"Wonderful, just wonderful. You had me worried there, just up-and-leaving like that. Well, even before you left, I knew something was up. You're looking better, though, which is all I can ask for," he grinned, kissing her on the cheek before letting himself get waylaid by Mr. Bennet, motioning him over to his table.

Finally, able to sit down, Beth reached for the already poured glass of white wine that was at her seat, taking a healthy sip. From her new position, she now could see Mr. Intolerable again – well, at least the side of him. Beth sipped her wine and watched as he…made small talk? She didn't care if she was caught staring, she watched as the cold and callous Darcy talked with Charles' groomsmen, with a (small) smile on his face, seeming to express a genuine interest in what they were saying.

"He's different," Lydia's reserved voice hummed over her.

Turning her gaze towards her sister, she asked the question that neither of them could know the answer to. "Why?"

"Hmmm," Lydia murmured in response, taking a sip of water as her other hand lightly rubbed her stomach.

"Are you feeling ok? We were standing outside for a while…" Beth asked, concerned that something was wrong.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine – we're fine. Thank you," she replied with a smile. "Just hungry."

"Well that makes… three of us," Beth agreed, just as the waiters entered the room with the salad course. She didn't realize how hungry she was, or remember the fact that she'd forgotten to eat lunch, until the first bite of lettuce hit her mouth. She listened to the conversation going on around her, mostly between Phil and Kat and Lydia, about school, about the baby; she was too hungry to participate.

"So, how are you?" Beth asked Lydia cautiously, when it seemed like the rest of the table had strayed onto the topic of school and college for Kat and Mary. She didn't want to be too specific; she knew what it was like to not want to talk about something.

A wistful smile passed over Lydia's face, as she set her fork down. "I'm ok – mostly thanks to this little lady." Her face lit at the mention to her baby. "And thanks to the man that you can't take your eyes off of."

Beth felt a blush creep over her face at the reference to Darcy, her eyes unable to stop themselves from glancing back in his direction, to where he still sat comfortably chatting with the other guests at his table.

 _Wait, why thanks to Darcy? He'd forced George to marry her in the first place…_

Beth swiveled her head back to her sister, her mouth opening and the words starting to escape it when the loud clanging of a knife on a wine glass forced her into silence.

 _Time for toasts._

"If I could just have everyone's attention for a moment," Charles' happily warm voice rolled through the room. "I won't take long, especially as I see that dinner is about to happen." The waiters returned, starting to serve the main course as Charles continued to speak. "I just want to thank you all for coming this weekend to help celebrate with Jane and I. All I can say is that I knew from the day that she fell for me in her office—" He paused as a laugh rippled through the crowd, remembering the story about how Jane had tripped over Beth's briefcase and sprained her ankle. "I knew from that day that she would be my wife. So, thank you again, everyone, we love you. Cheers!" He raised his glass, signaling everyone else to do the same.

Just as the claps began, Beth watched as her mother stood, her wine glass chiming for attention. "Thank you, Charles. We are so lucky that you are joining are family and that you take such good care of our dear Jane," Irene began, and Beth prayed that this would be over shortly. "Mr. Bennet and myself, and Mr. and Mrs. Bingley, also would like to thank everyone for coming, your presence will make their day even more wonderful. I would like to give a special thank you as well, to Mr. Darcy, without whom this celebration would not be possible." And there was the awkward statement.

Beth watched in confusion – Jane's face flushed, Charles gave Darcy a sheepish shrug of his shoulders, and Darcy himself, looked surprisingly more embarrassed than angry. Whatever he had contributed to their day, he would have preferred it to remain a secret – something he should have known was a foolish impossibility with Irene Bennet.

 _But what had he contributed?_ Beth wondered desperately.

"To Charles and Jane," Darcy exclaimed gruffly, raising his glass to end the uncomfortable silence that her mother had propagated.

Beth looked at Lydia, hoping that their mother had said something to her. "I don't know…" Lydia answered the silent question with a regretful shrug. Beth bit her lip in consternation, picking up her knife and fork to dig into the delicious-looking chicken Milanese that had been served.

She needed to talk to Jane; Jane would know.


	10. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Beth knocked impatiently on Jane's door. She'd finished dinner, immersing herself in the conversation between the Gardiners and her younger sisters, all the while preoccupied with every question that she needed an answer to. Unfortunately, she hadn't had any further opportunity to talk to Lydia during dinner. Afterwards, Lydia had left before dessert was served because her feet and back were really hurting her, so she'd wanted to go upstairs to bed. That meant Beth had had to bide her time until Jane headed up for bed; yes, she could have just gone upstairs and waited there, but she didn't want to take the chance of running into Darcy on her way out of her room. No, she needed to wait for Jane to leave and then say her goodnights, discreetly following her sister to her room.

For the most part, that is what had happened. Phil and his wife had left early, and Beth had feared that her sisters would follow suit, leaving her along at the table. However, they'd stayed, talking amongst themselves long enough to where Jane had stood to say her goodnights first.

Even though he'd kept his eyes off of her for most of the night (she knew because she _hadn't_ been able to do the same), after dessert she felt his hot gaze warming through her, drawing her to him. She had this feeling like he wanted to approach her, to talk to her, but not when she was surrounded or talking to other people – _all the more reason she felt edgy as more and more people began to leave._

She didn't want to talk to him; she was still attracted to him, and more than that, she was completely thrown off by his behavior, not just the cordiality towards other people, but how he had approached her with a respectful reserve – no demands, no questions, no accosting her, preying on her desire for him. Aside from the steamy stares, she would have thought he was completely over her.

 _She just needed to talk to Jane_.

"Oh, hey," Jane said breathlessly, answering the door. "Sorry, I thought you might be Charles so I was trying to find my robe; I told him he couldn't see me any more until the ceremony tomorrow, but I thought he was trying to be sneaky and get one more goodnight kiss." She finished with a smile, her love and excitement for tomorrow painted all over her face.

"Sorry, I don't mean to bother you so late. I just wanted to chat for a few minutes, if that's ok…" Beth asked, knowing that with her pleading tone, Jane wouldn't refuse. She just needed answers… and she needed to stay away from her room until there was no possible way that she would run into Darcy on her way back.

"Of course," Jane assured her, opening the door up wider as Beth walked in. "Does this have to do with what mom said?"

 _Well, there was that._

"I mean, we can start there," Beth murmured. "What did she mean that your wedding wouldn't be possible without Darcy? I mean, he didn't introduce you, I don't understand."

Jane sighed. "Sometimes, I do understand how you can get so frustrated with mom. She shouldn't have said anything; I should have told her specifically not to say anything, but, of course, I thought she would know better."

"She never knows better," Beth informed her sister, wryly.

"Darcy owns Blue Hill," Jane began, taking a seat on the bed, pausing to watch Beth's reaction.

 _Of course, he does._

Now, she knew where this was going.

"So, he's not charging us for anything… the space… the food… none of it," Jane finished meekly.

 _It's fine, Beth. You are fine. It's their wedding, he's just trying to give them a gift._

"And mom and dad weren't upset about not paying for it?" Beth asked, surprised that her mother would want to advertise that they hadn't spent a dime on at least that part of the wedding.

"No. I mean, honestly, I doubt we could have gotten married here otherwise. It's really expensive, plus, the fact that our date was available less than a year out. Even if mom and dad could afford it, without Darcy, I don't think we would have gotten our date; I think he moved another wedding out for us – or had whomever manages Blue Hill to do it."

 _Wow._

"Well, I mean, Charles is his best friend. I take it this was his wedding present to you guys?"

Jane bit her lip, ducking her head and saying, "Sort of."

Beth closed her eyes, not sure she wanted to know until the words came out of her mouth. "What do you mean sort of?"

"He's also flying us to, and letting us use, his private island in Fiji for our honeymoon." Beth just stared at her sister. "I mean, I'm sure you're right, I'm sure it's because Charles is his oldest friend." Jane winced as her reassurances seemed flat, even to her own ears.

Beth felt slightly lightheaded. _Why was he doing so much for them?_ It was wonderful and generous…and so not Darcy. The only other time he'd done something like this was when he'd secretly helped Lydia. _For her._

"No…well, yes, that's part of it, but that's not all of it," Beth said breathlessly, coming to sit next to her sister.

Jane grabbed her hand, not responding, even though Beth could tell there was something more that she _could_ say.

"What is it?" she asked. "You know you're not good at keeping secrets from me."

Jane gasped, "I'm not keeping a secret. I just… oh, Beth. It's just what I said before – Darcy has changed. I could give you specifics – some of which I already have, but it's not my place. There's a lot that I don't know. There's also a lot that _you_ don't know."

"So then why won't you tell me?" Beth asked, astonished that Jane wanted to keep something from her.

"Because, like I said, it's not my place. But, more importantly, I don't know that it would help. If anything, because I don't have all the answers, it could make this whole situation worse, which is sometimes how I feel the advice I gave you before worked out," Jane choked here, tears rising to the surface. "I was the one who told you to go talk to him, to fight to be with him; it was my fault you went there. He hurt you, and then I convinced you to walk directly into your heartbreak." Now, Jane was almost sobbing, Beth stunned by the train of thought coming out of her sister's mouth, trying frantically to calm him. "It's my fault you had to run away. That's why I don't blame you for not talking to me about it, not telling me what happened. Why would you? Look what happened to you the last time I tried to help? That's why I love you and I will listen to you and talk to you, but I don't want to be involved; I don't want to be responsible for any more of your hurt."

Beth enveloped her sister in a hug, shushing her as she tried to scan the room for the tissues. _Why hotels always put tissues in the bathroom – far, far away, was beyond her._ She quickly stood and grabbed the box by the sink, returning back to Jane's side.

"Jane, please," she begged, "don't do this; it's not your fault. I'm so sorry." Seeing her sister like this on the night before her wedding was torture. She'd had no idea that Jane had thought all…any…of this.

 _Maybe if you would have just talked to her you would have known._

"I'm sorry, Beth," Jane said with a hiccup, her sobs beginning to subside.

Beth sighed, handing her sister another tissue. "Don't be sorry, Jane," she said sternly, feeling herself start to get choked up. "Don't you be sorry. This is _not_ your fault and I have _never_ blamed you for what happened. Never." She paused, taking a deep, steadying breath, taking her sister's hand. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about what happened, but it had nothing to do with the fact that you told me to go and talk to him. I can't believe you've thought this, this whole time. God, I'm such a jerk."

"No, Beth, you're not," Jane whispered.

"I would never blame you, even in the smallest way, for what happened between Darcy and I. Whatever happened between us, whatever he did, whatever I did… the blame rests squarely on us. I left because of him, and those first few weeks… months… I was angry and depressed and in shock; it's a potent and debilitating combination."

"I know, and I didn't want to push you to talk to me, it's just usually when something is that bad, you do."

Beth took a deep breath. "I guess because it was even worse than that, that I couldn't reach out. Plus, you were planning the wedding and so excited and I didn't want to ruin that – which is not a good excuse, I know. Please, just promise me you won't blame yourself any more for this; it's not your fault at all. Darcy made his choice, and if anything, it was probably the best thing for me to have figured it out as harshly as I did, because otherwise the break would have been even longer and more painfully drawn out, with so many more unknowns."

"I promise. I'm sorry I didn't say something sooner. I don't know, I just never want to bring it up because I know how much it has hurt you already," Jane replied. "I'm not you, I'm not Charles, I don't have all of the information, but from what I do know, from everything that I've observed over the past few months, I would suggest that you try to talk to him, if for no other reason than to get closure on everything that happened; I think you'll find that he might be much more willing to open up."

Beth gave her sister a small, forced smile, knowing that Jane was trying to help, but also know that she and Darcy were so far past the point of trying to get closure.

"I'll think about it, but as different as he seems, all I tried to do for months was get him to open up to me," she admitted painfully. "And that was when he at least had some sort of positive feelings for me, and he couldn't do it then; I don't think I have any more hopes to get up about that type of conversation happening now."

Jane just nodded, even though she looked like she wanted to say something else, to push the conversation further, but she didn't.

Beth looked over her shoulder at the clock; it was almost twelve-thirty. Jane needed to go to bed and it was a pretty safe bet that Darcy had made it up to his room by now that the coast would be clear.

"Ok, I'm going to go; you need to get some rest before tomorrow," she said, hugging her sister.

"Ok. I'm sorry, Beth."

"I told you, there's nothing to be sorry for," she said giving Jane a reassuring smile.

"Ok, I'll see you in the morning. Hair and make-up starts at eleven in here," Jane reminded her.

"I will be there. Goodnight, Jane. Love you," Beth replied, heading toward the door.

"Night, love you."

Beth shut the door quietly behind her, knowing that her mother could hear drama from a mile away, which meant that she would definitely hear doors opening and closing just a few feet down from her room.

She tried to walk as quietly as she could down the hallway, figuring that most of her family was sound asleep by now in preparation for the big day tomorrow. Her feet picked up their pace as she got closer to her room, trying to make it back without running into anyone – _or anyone in particular._

After all this time, she should just assume that she will _always_ have the worst luck when it comes to Darcy.

She rounded the last corner of the hallway with a glance over her shoulder to make sure that no one was behind her – for no reason, especially since it caused her to run straight into the hard chest of the specific man whom she was running from.

Beth grunted as her hands came up out of instinct to rest on the hot wall of male that she was pressed up against. Surprisingly, she felt no urgency, no further instinct to extricate herself from him, even though she'd just been talking with Jane about how much he had hurt her. Her eyes closed for a split second, just breathing in the moment; she would hate her body later for craving the familiar fire of his embrace.

With a sigh, she looked up to meet his gaze, finding those molten chocolate eyes that she'd lost herself in staring back at her.

"We have to stop meeting like this," he said hoarsely with a smirk.

Beth couldn't help herself, she started to giggle. Not just because he – _Darcy_ , of all people – had made a joke, but mostly because the ridiculousness of this situation finally broke the dam of emotions within her; hurt, pain, anxiety, confusion, humor, comfort, love – they all came bursting out, first in a giggle that just escalated into full-blown laughter.

Her fingers curled into his shirt as she ducked her head, the laughs coming uncontrollably from inside of her. All day, she'd tried her best to stay away from one singular person. _All day._ What are the chances that walking back to her room at almost one in the morning would put him directly in her path? She laughed, not caring that Darcy was looking at her with an expression mixed with confusion and the desire to join in. At the point where she felt tears collecting in her eyes, she felt his chest rumble a few times against hers.

"Beth, are you ok?" he finally asked.

At first, all she could do was nod, trying to calm the humor that was wracking her body. At the laughter finally died down, she managed to say, "Yes, I'm fine. Sorry." The apology bringing another chuckle out of her.

 _This was ridiculous._

Her gaze met his again, and she bit her lip trying to forcibly stop the shudders going through her body. His eyebrows raised at her, questioning the validity of her statement. Whether it was the wine, or the time, or the emotional stress of the day, Beth wasn't sure, but it was that moment when she truly realized where she was – in the hallway, alone with Darcy; her body pressed flush up against his, his hands a firm presence on her waist, initially to steady her, now… Every breath she took, she felt her sensitive breasts gently rubbing against his chest, and that familiar urgent ache between her thighs only overshadowed by the hard pressure of his erection pressing against her.

She sucked in a breath, feeling like the air in the room was disappearing. His eyes flared, and she knew that breathing had been a mistake. Beth watched in slow, yet inevitable motion as his head dropped, his lips touching hers. The first contact was surprising gentle, his lips softly pressing against hers, almost as if he were waiting for her to pull back. In that moment, she wanted to forget everything that had happened; she wanted to forget everything that would happen after this moment. In that moment, all she wanted was to feel him.

 _All she wanted was to know that she could feel against._

Her hands gripped his pressed shirt harder, pulling him against her as her mouth parted, her tongue tracing the line of his lips. Whatever restraint he'd been practicing vanished with her provocation. His mouth opened and devoured her, tasting every recess of her mouth like it was the first time.

They kissed like they'd been trapped in the desert the past four months and were now just given their first drink of spring water.

The dormant fire of desire erupted inside of her, burning through her veins into every cell of her body.

 _This is what she wanted to feel._

She returned his fire; her fingers coming up threading themselves through his hair, pressing him even closer to her. His arms moved further, locking around her back, ensuring that there was no part of their bodies that weren't touching. Beth moaned into his mouth, the ache inside her begging him to ease it. She felt the hardness of his erections crushed into her stomach, craving the same release that she was. Their tongues dueled, each trying to pull more from the kiss that they'd been starved of for so long.

For once in the past however many months, her mind was blissfully blank, absorbed completely in the pleasure of his kiss, the magic of his embrace. She melted completely against him, her body ironically finally feeling like it could lean on someone else for support. Her desire for him, peacefully sedated inside her in Boston, had been shocked back to life by his presence, flaring even stronger than before, if that was possible.

Beth felt her body completely relax against him, against the familiar fire that was consuming her. She moaned again with the relief of knowing that she was home.

 _He was home._

The thought jarred her – and he knew felt it. Beth pulled back, stepping out of his embrace, her hand coming up to cover her mouth, shocked at how easily she'd fallen right back into his spell.

"Beth," he groaned her name, his hand running roughly through his hair. "God, I'm sorry."

Her eyes widened at the words. _An apology?_ She couldn't process this, she needed to get away from him. Her feet began to inch towards the door to her room.

The look in his eyes was tortured regret. "Please, don't... Fuck, I'm sorry. I just couldn't stop myself." He huffed, knowing how poor of an excuse that sounded like. "I'm so sorry, Beth. I shouldn't have kissed you like that."

She nodded her head, trying to shuffle around him, forcing herself to do so calmly. "It's fine. I just… I should go. Goodnight, Darcy."

His jaw clenched, anger bubbling to the surface of his face where she could see that her words were not what he wanted to hear. "Beth, I need to talk to you. Please."

 _An apology. A please._

This couldn't be happening; this couldn't be real.

 _She couldn't fall for this again._

Her head began to shake frantically. "No… no, I can't. I can't, Darcy," she mumbled hysterically. "Not again, I can't. This… everything… it's always on your terms. I have to go."

 _She couldn't – not now; it was all too much._

Beth turned to bolt for her door, suffocated by the emotions fighting for control in his presence.

"Beth, wait, please," Darcy pleaded as his hand came out to grab her arm. She came to a halt, the déjà vu crashing over her – his hand on her arm at the Gala, wanting to explain his 'barely tolerable' comment. Who could have known this is where that had her end up?

She looked down at where his hand was on her, except this time, it wasn't Darcy who took his hand back, it was she who pulled her arm out of his grasp, tears now running down her cheeks.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" she asked softly, her voice filled with pain; her words were almost an exact recording of those that he'd said to her outside her father's office.

Darcy looked like she'd struck him, his arm dropping to his side, as his head gave her a brief nod, agonizing regret written all over his face.

"I'm sorry, Beth. Goodnight." The deep tenor of his voice rumbled through her, the sadness in it reverberating throughout the hall.

Beth turned and unlocked her door, escaping to the haven of her room. She collapsed onto her bed, letting the tears fall freely. Her phone buzzed and startled her, for a brief second her heart sped up wondering if it was Darcy reaching out.

It was Colin.

\- _Hope this doesn't wake you, but I can't wait to see you… Just finished packing my dancing shoes ;)_

Beth smiled slightly through her teary eyes and then, holding her phone, punched the pillow next to her in frustration when all the anticipation pulsing through her came to a screeching halt as soon as the stupid pile of broken hopes inside her chest realized it wasn't Darcy. Beth groaned, the tears coming in droves now. Her breathing became labored as exhaustion amplified her distress – all thoughts of Col or responding to him suffocated from her mind at the memory of the kiss she'd just shared with the man she _shouldn't_ want.

 _Why had she let it happen? How could she?_

They were dumb questions to ask, because she knew exactly why. She missed Darcy and she still wanted him.

 _Which was why she needed to stay away from him._

It didn't matter what he had to say or that Jane thought she should talk to him; she would only end up with her heart broken, again.

 _Everything was always on his terms._

First, he wanted to kiss her, then he wanted to talk to her. Every situation, every choice, was always on his terms – just like before.

 _And if she let it continue, she'd be right back where she was_ – _hanging onto his every careless word, hoping they'll, at some point, turn sweet again – ignoring the truth that that point never comes._


	11. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The bags under her eyes were a dead giveaway that she'd tossed and turned all night, struggling to fall asleep until well after three in the morning. Beth groaned, _at least her makeup was being professionally done today;_ if anyone could hide the dark circles, they could. Her cranky, tired face on the other hand would take some more work. She'd cracked a smile once this morning, when she'd responded to Col's text from last night.

~ _Sorry, crazy day yesterday._

 _\- I bet. How's Jane holding up?_

 _~ Good, really good_ _J_

 _\- Are a lot of the guests there already?_

Beth paused, knowing Colin was really wondering if Darcy was there, and if she'd seen him yet. How quickly her smile then disappeared.

~ _I think so._

 _\- Cool. Well, don't worry – your dashing, dancing date is on his way._

That pulled a laugh from her lips.

~ _I'll try not to, McDreamy._

 _\- Ugh. That was harsh._

Col hated when people referred to him as McDreamy because of his brother, especially when they didn't bother to learn his real name; thankfully he knew she was kidding.

~ _lol see you soon_

Her stomach grumbled, unwilling to wait for his response. Throwing on her yoga pants and t-shirt, Beth looked out the peep-hole in the door to make sure she wasn't going to run into any _intolerable_ surprises this morning before opening her door. She had two hours before she needed to be in Jane's suite again to start getting ready, which mean there was plenty of time for lots of coffee. Making her way through the maze of hallways and staircases, she came down to the Equus restaurant, already bustling with guests for breakfast. Beth crossed her arms over her chest as she approached the hostess stand, already recognizing several of the people seated inside the dining room as either family friends or business associates at Longbourne; she couldn't go in there looking like this.

"Hi," Beth said quietly to the young girl at the podium. "I was wondering if I could just get a cup of coffee and a bagel to take back to my room."

The girl looked puzzled for a minute, turning to ask one of the waiters who had come to stand behind her. "Ok, yeah, we can do that. It'll just be one minute."

"Great," Beth said with a relieved sigh, giving the girl her room number so that she could just put it on her tab.

While she waited, Beth meandered over to the side of the public sitting room, looking out the window to the back of the castle property. Her eyes wandered down the patio, over to the giant chess board, past which were several large lounge chairs interspersed throughout the lawn, some more secluded by the surround trees than others. About to turn away, she noticed a distinctly pregnant woman making her way down towards one of the farther cluster of chairs, alone, with what looked like a muffin and bottle of water in hand. _Lydia._

"Ma'am," the hostess said from behind her. Beth turned with a smile, taking the coffee and small carton containing her bagel. She almost turned to walk back up to her room, where she'd originally planned to go back and enjoy her food, but then stopped, remembering that Lydia was eating breakfast outside, alone.

 _Now, she might finally have a chance to talk to her younger sister._

Beth slipped out the back door of the Castle as inconspicuously as possible, knowing that Jane and most probably her mother, as well as Mrs. Bingley, would be down for breakfast soon. The morning had a slight chill to it and the fresh dew that still coated the grass in the shade stung her toes as she only had a pair of flip-flops on. Walking quickly past the chess board and neighboring chairs, she made her way down the slight slope behind the large willow tree where there were three more lounge chairs waiting; on one of them was residing her pensive and pregnant sister, mindlessly eating her muffin.

Lydia didn't even notice her approaching until Beth finally spoke. "Hey," she said quietly, not wanting to startle her sister.

Lydia still jumped slightly, turning her head to see who had invaded her secluded grove. "Oh, hey, Beth," she answered, picking up her water bottle and taking a sip.

"Mind if I join you?" Beth asked, nodding to the empty chairs.

"No, of course not," she smiled half-heartedly. "I just needed some fresh air, and to eat breakfast without mom grilling me as to why I'm eating so many carbs."

Beth chuckled, knowing that only their mother would berate a pregnant woman about her choice in food.

"Well, I'd be right there with you," Beth agreed, pulling her bagel out with a wry smile. "Unfortunately, I don't have as good of an excuse as you for craving carbs."

Lydia just smiled and nodded, taking another bite of the muffin that she was clearly enjoying.

"So," Beth began hesitantly, unsure how to break the ice with Lydia; they'd never had that type of relationship where they shared intimate things with each other, but Beth could tell that she needed someone to lean on. "What happened with George?"

Lydia knew the question was coming. She continued to stare off blankly into the trees at the edge of the groomed grass, slowly chewing her last bite of muffin, savoring the brief, sweet respite before she ventured back into the sour state of where her life was currently.

"I left him," she answered, repeating the information she'd divulged to Beth yesterday.

"What did he do?" Beth asked softly.

Lydia gave her a sad smile and Beth realized just how much older Lydia looked. Sadness and heartbreak had aged her, along with the child she was growing, but mostly it was the emotional maturity that was now present in full force where it had been previously deficient.

"Everything…nothing," she began nondescriptly, her eyes finally moving to meet Beth's. "I know I don't have to tell you the type of person George is; you saw it from the beginning, everyone probably saw it by the end. Selfish, self-centered, petty. He didn't _do_ anything like you're probably thinking, at least not that I know of." Beth nodded, silently willing Lydia to continue, not wanting to interrupt her flow of feelings. "It was my fault really; I expected too much. I expected a fairytale." She paused here, laughing harshly at herself. "I don't blame mom, but I just saw marriage as the end-all-be-all. When I got pregnant, I was so blinded by my attraction to George, and my belief that 'of course, he wanted to marry me,' that I couldn't see he was trying to leave me the entire time – even after I _knew_ that Darcy had bribed him to marry me."

Beth felt her heart breaking for her sister. Yes, she'd been foolish and naïve to ignore the blatant signs, and yes, at the time, if someone had told Beth that Lydia would end up like this, she would have thought 'serves her right.' But here, now, in this very moment, seeing her baby sister struggling to stay positive for her child, seeing that it was a losing battle written all over her face, seeing her ever, overly optimistic spirit simply crushed, she couldn't find the desire to scold her or any satisfaction in knowing that she was right. She swallowed hard, knowing how easy it was to judge until you're knee-deep in the situation and you realize that you wouldn't wish this on anyone.

"After we moved, everything and nothing changed. Nothing changed with George – always busy trying to get ahead at work, never wanting to bother with me or the baby. Everything, on the other hand, changed with me, not the least of which was reality that I was going to be a mom; and it looked like I was going to basically be doing it on my own. That responsibility changes you, it makes you grow up very fast. And in that process, it opened my eyes to the truth about the man I had married, and I didn't want him to be a part of my daughter's life if he didn't care to be. I don't want to force him to be a father; I don't want my daughter to grow up feeling like I've forced her father to love her. So, I set him free."

"What did he say when you left?"

Lydia looked away for a moment before answering. "Nothing, really," she said softly, the memory obviously upsetting to her. "He didn't say anything because he doesn't really care. He never wanted to be married or have a child. He told me I could do whatever I wanted. The only thing he cared about knowing was whether or not he would still be financially responsible for the child," she finished with a laugh of disbelief.

 _God, George was such an ass._

Beth could see how much it hurt Lydia that he hadn't fought for her or their child, that he'd been ok with her leaving. She knew it was that moment that had shattered her sister's belief in a fairytale; just like when Darcy hadn't followed her to Boston, in spite of everything that he'd done, a part of her deep down inside had hoped that she'd meant enough to him for at least that. But he never came. Telling George that she wanted to leave was Lydia's last shot, the last card she could play, to see if there was anything about her or their child worth fighting for.

"I'm sorry, Lyd," Beth whispered, doing her best to hold back the tears in her eyes.

Lydia gave her a weak smile. "Don't be, you know it's for the best." Her words were clear, but her tone said that she wished it hadn't come to this.

Beth's brow furrowed. "Wait, so did Darcy fire George then? What happens to him now if you leave him?" Not that she cared about George, but the only reason he got that job was if he married Lydia. Getting a divorce would nullify that arrangement.

"Nothing. I left George, he didn't leave me. Plus, I asked him not to do anything."

"What do you mean you asked him? You asked Darcy not to do anything? Why?" Beth asked, perplexed that she would request that of Darcy after everything that George had put her through.

"Yes, I asked Darcy," Lydia confirmed. "I chose to leave; George shouldn't be punished for that, as much as it has hurt me. I know he chose to not want a relationship with me or our daughter, but part of me hopes that someday, he'll change his mind – for her at least. He's the father of my child, and for as immature and inconsiderate and selfish as he is, I would want her to know him, if he chooses. Asking Darcy to ruin his life might feel great right now, but it could hurt _her_ in the future." Lydia looked down again at her stomach and Beth could see that everything she'd done, all of the hurt and disappointment that she had endured, all of the dreams that she'd chosen to shatter, had all been for her child and what was best for her little girl.

"And Darcy was ok with that? He listened to you?" Beth continued, astonished that Darcy wouldn't take the first opportunity to destroy George Wickham. "What about you? How are you living? Where are you living?" Beth groaned; she'd asked the questions before thinking and once they were out realized how they made it sound like Lydia was completely incompetent and unable to take care of herself.

 _In Beth's defense, Lydia had been a few months ago._

"He did," Lydia said solemnly. "He did, and then he helped me. Well, I guess it started a few months ago. I decided to look for a job because being home all day was torture, especially with how things were with George; days were long and tedious and I had nothing to look forward when he got home." She shook her head, realizing she was getting off track from answering Beth's question. "So, Mr. Darcy offered me a job in one of his other, smaller companies in the city. I don't know what I would have done without that; no one wants to hire a woman who is pregnant and is going to have to be out of the office for several months, just when she is starting to get settled in; no one except Darcy."

"What do you do?" Beth wondered, knowing that Lydia had left college when she moved out to Chicago with George. She didn't even know what major her sister had originally planned on graduating with. Lydia had always been more preoccupied with parties than with schoolwork.

"Nothing crazy," she prefaced. "I'm just an assistant to the senior editor at a small publishing house that Mr. Darcy owns. But, I really enjoy it; I enjoy the scheduling and dealing with people, but mostly, I get to do a lot of reading. My editor, Samantha Hall, is great and has been really considerate of my situation. I get to read a lot of the submissions that come in and help her organize her thoughts on them, as well as give my own." Beth watched as Lydia's face lit up talking about her new job. It was the first time she'd ever seen her sister so excited about work or any type of responsibility; she really had turned over a new leaf, as painful as it was.

"That's great, Lyd," Beth encouraged, and her sister continued before she could get back to the part of the subject that was still unnerving her.

"Yeah, it really is. And the best part is that I'll still be able to work from home during the last few weeks before my due date and then even after I have the baby; I don't know where else I would have found such flexibility, much less doing something that I really enjoy."

"Reading for a living is not a bad way to go," Beth acknowledged wryly.

"It's a great escape, which is something that I can really use right now…"

Beth had to agree with her sister there. "So, you got your own place then?" Beth pressed on, needing to know just what else Darcy had done for her younger sister. She knew there was more to the story, more that would only heighten her conflicting feelings for him.

"Well, sort of…" Lydia answered, chewing on her lower lip, as though trying to decide just how much she should say. "My townhome kind of came with the job," she finished admitted, her eyes darting over to Beth's awaiting her reaction.

 _Of course, it did._

"It's really beautiful – big enough for me and the baby," she continued when Beth didn't respond, finally sighing and explaining the whole story about how Darcy had provided her not just with a job, but also with a house. "A few months ago, when I went to see Mr. Darcy about a job, he asked me why I wanted one, that George certainly made enough money for the both of us, and that he'd never seen me as the type who really wanted to work." She broke on a laugh. "He was very blunt, but he wasn't wrong. Those first few months in Chicago with George had changed me, and he couldn't have known that, so I don't fault him for his assumptions. I figured I would need to tell him at some point anyway before he found out on his own, so I told him that I was planning on leaving George, for the baby's sake."

Beth continued to listen intently.

"Mr. Darcy, I think, jumped to the same conclusions you did – I can still remember the look on his face, I thought he was about to go rip George's head off right then. So, I told him what I just told you and then I asked him to please not punish George for my choice. I explained that my only purpose in coming to him was that I needed a job so that I could support myself and the baby, so I could get us our own place, and being new to Chicago, I wondered if he had any suggestions." She paused to take a sip of water, her hand gently rubbing her stomach again. "And then he offered me a job at the publishing house, which was more than I could have asked for. But before I could even thank him, he continued to tell me that he had a townhome that he usually uses for associates stay when they visit on business, but that he would have his assistant give me the keys and alarm codes and that it was mine to use."

Beth sat there stunned, again, by Darcy's attempt to go over and above to help her family; she felt her face slowly draining of color, wishing he was doing things that would make it easier for her to want to keep her distance from him.

"I'm paying rent," Lydia assured her. "Although I doubt it's what he should be charging for the size and location of the home. I also don't know how much it was really used for business since it looked brand new the day that I walked in. If he hadn't mentioned it so readily, I would think that he went out special and bought it for me to use, but I just don't know why he would do so much for me after everything he's already done."

"I see…" Beth murmured, still trying to process this new information.

"Mom doesn't know about any of this," Lydia hastily exclaimed. "And I don't want her to for right now. She doesn't know about George or the job; I'm just trying to find my footing on my own and I can't do that with her hovering over and trying to pressure me. I'm not as strong as you, Beth." Lydia smiled at her as though she were some sort of role model.

 _What could be further from the truth._

George broke Lydia's heart and she had left him. Darcy had broken Beth's heart and here she was trying to convince herself that she wasn't dying on the inside to be with him again.

 _Lydia had no idea just how weak she was._

"I don't know what happened between the two of you, so I'm sorry if what I've said has upset you, but I honestly don't know what would have happened if Mr. Darcy hadn't done this… any of it… for me," Lydia choked out, the thought of the alternative – unable to find a job, being stuck with George, and suffocated in sadness – was too much for her.

"Of course. No, I'm so glad that he helped you—" Beth began, stopping short as they heart footsteps approaching. Both girls looking over their shoulder to see who was intruding on their safe space just as Kat stumbled down the hill.

"There you guys are!" she exclaimed with a huff. "I've been looking everywhere. Mom wants us to come to Jane's room now because the hair and make-up people are here early."

Beth couldn't help the groan that escaped her.

"I need to pee anyway," Lydia murmured, slowly standing and following Kat back towards the hotel.

"I'll be right behind you guys," Beth said as they retreated away from her. There were plenty of people who could get ready before she needed to be there – it was only ten-fifteen.

 _Her mother was crazy,_ she thought as she buried her head in her hands for a moment, trying to hold in the thoughts that were trying to run rampant. First, Darcy had given Jane and Charles the venue at no charge, plus his private island for their honeymoon; now, come to find, he'd given Lydia not only a job, but a house to live in that, if she had any luck, he was probably only charging her sister like ten dollars a month in rent. She groaned again in frustration.

 _Who was this man going out of his way to help her family, of all people?_

Last time she checked, he hated her so much for what she did that he'd run right back into the arms of his certifiably insane ex-girlfriend. Ok, maybe not the last time – because as of last night he still liked her enough to kiss her, to want to talk to her.

He didn't know that she'd seen Caroline at his place, maybe he was trying to make up for the fact that he'd yelled at her about when she had worked for Mrs. DeBourgh, maybe Anne had told him the truth about that relationship; it was the only thing she could think of. Last time, he'd help Lydia out of love, this time, it must be out of guilt.

Standing with a sigh of frustration, Beth made her way back into the castle, quietly maneuvering away from any guests, up to the old part of the building where her room was. Her heart began to beat faster as she neared the end of the empty hallway where her and Darcy's rooms were, praying that there wouldn't be a repeat of last night.

 _Clear._

She began to breathe again, hurrying to her door and putting the key into the lock, about to turn it when she heard a voice – _Darcy's voice_ – coming from inside of his room. Beth stepped away from her door, drawn to his, needing to hear what he was so emotionally saying.

" _I know, I know what I have to do, it's just so fucking hard."_ Beth heard him say forcefully, followed by a pause; _he must be on the phone._

" _I wish you could be here and see what I'm dealing with._ "

Her gut clenched – _who did he miss?_

 _"I understand, but you are the one who know how to make things better, when I only seem to make them worse."_ Silence.

" _I will probably need to call you later."_ Pause. " _I know. Fine."_ Pause. " _I need to see you as soon as I get back."_ The words were firm and heavy with meaning.

Beth backed away from the door; she'd heard enough. Her hands frantically turned the key in her door as the sound of the door behind her opened. She exhaled a gasp of relief when she stepped inside her room, shutting the door firmly behind her just as the faint sounds of her name escaped Darcy's lips. Leaning back against the door, her chest rose and fell in rapid fire trying to redirect oxygen to her brain. She heard nothing from the other side of the door, yet somehow knew that he was still standing out there; she didn't have to look through the hole to know that; a minute or two later, she heard his heavy footsteps stalking down the hall, probably to head to the Bingley's room where Charles and his groomsmen were getting ready.

 _Who had he been talking to? Who did he want here? Who could make things better for him? Who was he so desperate to see?_

Her heart burned. At least when she knew that he was with Caroline, it had been easy to hate her; it had been easy to deal with the hurt because the source of it had a face. Whoever that was, was a mystery to her, and it certainly was Caro because Caro was going to be here today for the wedding – assuming she deigned to show up.

 _Why would he kiss her if he so desperately wished someone else was there with him instead?_


	12. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

When it rains, it pours.

That should be the tagline for her life since meeting Darcy. The series of ups and downs that she'd been on with him (and then without him) were more than enough to drive her crazy and yet, she'd managed to hold it together. _For the most part._

Hearing what he'd done for Jane and Charles – _that was an up._ Kissing him only to realize that she hadn't gotten over her feelings for him – _a down._ Learning how he had helped Lydia turn her situation around, made it feasible for her to leave a man who was breaking her heart – _up._ Coming back to hear Darcy on the phone with someone who he obviously cared about, in all reality, probably his new girlfriend – _down._ It should have been time for an 'up', but instead, Beth walked down the hall to Jane's room, knocked on the door, only to watch it open in slow motion and be greeted by Caroline's coldly smiling face, all dressed and dolled-up, looking undeniably spectacular.

 _Definite down._

She stared in shock at the woman who was responsible for several unfortunate circumstances in her life, not the least of which was the partial role she played – _encouraged –_ in allowing Darcy to break her heart.

"Hi, Beth," Caroline exclaimed, the deceptive smile on her face only growing larger. "It's _so_ good to see you." She barely moved from the doorway, forcing Beth to shimmy her way into the room.

"Hi, Caroline," was all she could manage to respond with as she entered the room that was thankfully filled with the rest of her sisters, her mother, and Mrs. Bingley. She tried to quickly make her way towards Jane and away from Caroline, but she didn't move fast enough.

"How have you been?" Caroline asked with a smirk, continuing without a pause for Beth to answer. "I was just talking to your mother that you're in Boston now; that's quite a change of pace from here – and so sudden, too! I was wondering what had happened after my show when I was contacted by Mr. Gardiner that he would be taking over any future needs that I might have."

Beth seethed, knowing full-well that Caroline knew exactly why she had left and knew the role she had played in it. She took a deep breath. _No, you cannot punch Jane's future sister-in-law on the day of her wedding. No. You. Cannot._

"Yes, I'm really enjoying Boston," Beth finally replied with a sickeningly sweet tone.

"Caroline, stop interrogating her," Mrs. Bingley said coldly to her daughter, the tension between them intensifying; _clearly their relationship had only become more strained after she'd left_. Before either could say anything more, Mrs. Bennet rescued the quickly declining situation.

"Beth! Finally, you are here," Irene exclaimed from further into the suite. "It's your turn for hair and make-up; they have been _waiting._ " For once, Beth didn't mind the public scolding since it came with the welcome ticket to escape Caroline's toxic presence.

"Sorry," she mumbled, both as a response to her mother and to Caroline as she practically ran toward where the stylists were set up.

"Hey," Jane said as Beth approached her, mouthing 'sorry' as she got closer; Jane was sitting in the chair next to the one Beth was instructed to take, getting her hair done. She reached out to squeeze Beth's hand, the look in her eyes indicating that she saw the confrontation with Caroline and desperately wanted to intervene if only she hadn't been tethered to an eyebrow curler.

"Hey, sorry for being late. I got distracted eating breakfast," Beth gave her best attempt at a smile; she could _not_ worry Jane today.

"Oh, it's fine," Jane assured her. "They just finished with Lydia, so I don't know who mom was talking about when she said that they've been waiting for you."

"Probably just herself," Beth grumbled as the hair stylist, Liz, introduced herself and asked how she wanted her hair done. "Jane, how should I have my hair done?" Honestly, it was the last thing she wanted to make a decision on right now; she did not care.

"How about a low bun with some wisps down by your face?" Jane suggested, her eyes closed as the makeup artist began to apply eyeshadow onto her lids.

"Sure," Beth shrugged. She stared at the mirror in front of her, even though she wasn't paying any attention to what was being done to her hair; she was just trying to block out everything around her as Liz went to work on her messy, boring-brown mane. Jane tried to make small-talk over the next few minutes until the makeup artist, Nicole, began to apply her lipstick and she was forced to keep her lips still.

Jane was finished after that, which meant that her seat in the chair was replaced with Kat – the only other person there, aside from Beth, who still needed make-up done. Kat, annoyed that she'd been pulled away from the conversation with her mother and Caroline, desperately tried to continue to listen and interject from halfway across the room. It was annoying, but it was better than trying to have to talk to her youngest sister who seemed intent on following in old Lydia's footsteps.

Thankfully, it only lasted a few minutes before it was time for Jane to get into her dress. The sight of which bringing back the vivid memories of that day at Kleinfelds, the argument with Darcy, Jane looking stunning in her dress, and Caroline trying to pry information out of her; not much had changed. The joy on Jane's face as she stepped into her gown, now perfectly fitted to her form, outweighed the heavy sadness on Beth's mind, and she smiled in happiness for her sister, watching as both mothers helped fasten the dress and arrange her veil.

"Last, but not least," the make-up artist said with a smile urging Beth to move over into her chair. "Any thoughts on how you want to look?"

 _Can you do 'invisible'? That would be great._

Beth bit the side of her cheek to prevent the self-deprecating smile from spreading over her face. "Just something natural is fine," she responded quietly instead. The upside about having her makeup done? Being told to close her eyes…until closing them brought Darcy's face to her mind.

 _Why was he helping her family? Was it really out of guilt for how he had treated her? Why couldn't he just apologize to her?_

Not that she would forgive him; for his outburst, maybe, but not for sleeping with Caroline the very same night.

"Beth, can you open your eyes and look up for me?" Nicole's voice exited the image of Darcy's face and Beth's eyes shot open.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

Nicole laughed. "It's ok, I thought you'd fallen asleep or something; how anyone would be able to do that in this noise is beyond me."

Beth managed a weak smile, doing as she asked. Looking up put the clock on the wall into focus; it was almost one fifteen. _Forty-five minutes_. That was how long she had until she had to see, to touch, to talk to Darcy again. It was also how long ago Col's plane had landed, which meant he was probably in a car on his way here now. A wave of relief spread over her, knowing she would have his constant support soon, and for the night.

 _Shit._

He'd probably texted her. As soon as Nicole turned to look through her lip-gloss shades, Beth reached into the waistband of her yoga pants and pulled out her phone; she must have completely missed the vibrations from his messages.

11:00 - _Just boarded. Can't wait to see you!_

 _12:32 - Just landed!_

 _12:35 - I'm sure you're just busy, but is everything ok? Haven't heard from you…_

 _12:47 - Just got in the car. Hope you are still expecting McDreamy as your date._

Beth groaned. He'd referred to himself as 'McDreamy', which meant he was worried there was something wrong. _Crap._ She hastily typed back to him.

~ _omg I'm so sorry. It's been a crazy morning…hair…makeup…can't wait to see you, too!_

She partially regretted her words the moment she sent them; she was excited to see him, but probably not in the way that he was excited to see her. If her confrontation with Darcy had shown her anything, it was that she clearly hadn't resolved the feelings that she had for him.

 _Maybe it was time that she stopped running and let her heart finally finish breaking. Maybe then she could feel something for someone like Col who was only trying to help piece it back together again._

"Beth!" her mother yelled, snapping her fingers in front of her face. "Where's your dress? You need to get dressed! We need to leave in fifteen minutes." Irene was in full-on frantic mode, trying to get everyone organized and ready even though it seemed like most everyone was.

"I'm going. It's in my room. I'll meet you at the limo," Beth said quickly, brushing past her mother's shocked and reddening face before she could be scolded any more for not bringing her dress to change into here.

Closing the door behind her, she breathed in the silence of the hall, before hurrying back to her room; she'd wanted to change alone, but she also didn't want to hold everyone up. She tossed on her dress, doing a double-take as she passed by the mirror, not used to seeing her hair and make-up especially while wearing a fancy dress. These few months had done a lot to remove the frequency of galas, balls, and parties from her memory.

Her makeup wasn't overdone – a gentle neutral gold around her eyes, but enough foundation to conceal the dark circles beneath them. Her hair was just what Jane had briefly described. Pulled back in a low, curled mass, with wisps of waves framing the sides of her face, softening the sadness that seemed to linger there. It flowed with the style of the dress – a comfortable chiffon, not too low or too form-fitting; she looked nice. Not sexy or evocative, just nice.

 _Good._

She'd unknowingly evoked enough in the past few days; now, she just wanted to blend in and resolve the tumultuous emotions that circled inside of her. Beth shook her head, the time-crunch breaking her trace. She hastily grabbed her clutch, shoving her phone inside the handy, concealed pocket in the dress, and darted out the door.

Leaving her room should have been like crossing the street – where you look both ways before stepping away from the safety of the sidewalk. Instead, Beth liked to rush headfirst into oncoming traffic…or, in this case, Mr. Darcy.

He was also leaving his room, closing his door just as she hurriedly stepped out of hers. By the time she spun around and realized his presence, he was already staring at her with that same hunger melting through his gaze.

"Darcy," she gasped softly.

He cleared his throat before he found himself able to speak. "Beth…" They stood in silence; their eyes locked, remembering their last encounter. "You look beautiful," he said hoarsely. His eyes left hers as his hand came up to rub his temples. He hadn't wanted to say that, but he'd been unable to stop the words from coming out of his mouth, their truth needing to be free.

Beth felt her face flush. "I…ahh…I have to go," she mumbled, awkwardly turning to start down the hall.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Beth," his words soft, yet frustrated. "I didn't mean… I would really like to talk to you. Please."

The plea in his voice had her stop and turn, seeing the hurt etched across his face and knowing that it was reflecting her own.

"I… um… ok. Maybe. I just… I have to go now," she conceded, hating herself for still wanting him and wanting to give in to him yet, maybe just a discussion – a good one, could just put their past behind them, and allow her to move on.

His small nod of acknowledgment set her free and she swiftly continued down the hall to the stairs to the lobby, meeting a waiting limo and an annoyed mother inside of it.

"Beth," Irene huffed, "I was about to tell them to leave without you; we cannot be late!"

Beth just nodded; there was no point in arguing that she'd climbed into the car at exactly one thirty – the time when they were scheduled to leave.

~ _Just leaving to go to Blue Hill,_ she texted Col.

\- _Dang! I'm about five minutes away from the hotel. Just have to change and then I'll be over. Don't trip down the aisle ;)_

Beth laughed, excited for the comfortableness of his presence; he was the eye, the calm, in the center of this storm.

~ _Very funny! As long as you don't trip me, I think I'll be just fine._

 _\- Well, it depends, if I trip you does that mean I get to catch you? ;)_

Her breath caught; the first thought that ran through her head was ' _what if I've already fallen?'_ It was the fear buried deep down inside of her. What if she had already fallen? And not for him?

She clicked off her phone, unable to answer as she chewed on her lip, trying to decide how justified that fear truly was. She had all these questions for Darcy, things that she'd tried to convince herself no longer mattered and no longer should play a role in her life, but instead of allowing her to move on, those questions had become a weight tethering her to her past with him. Regardless of how much she physically desired him, maybe Jane was right, maybe it was time to just put everything out in the open.

Her heart had been broken, and these past four months all she'd focused on was trying to manage the symptoms; it was like she'd been shot in the chest, and instead of getting the bullet out and letting everything heal, she'd put a Band-Aid over the wound and tried to just stop it from bleeding. Sometimes, no matter how much you want to, you can't force yourself to stop caring about something…or someone.

Who knows? Maybe her desire for him was only so potent because she felt that a physical connection to him was the only way to reach him. Or maybe she was just trying to justify that desire, and her need to be with him, by thinking that talking about it would her sever whatever remained between them.

Beth shook her head as the limo pulled up to a stop in front of the venue, the bridal party beginning to unload.

It didn't matter. For her to move on, whether alone or with Col, she had to dig in her heels, prepare for the searing pain of reliving her past, and finally dig out the bullet of betrayal that was so deeply embedded inside of her – otherwise she would always be tied to him.

Lydia brought her back to her immediate surroundings by linking her arm with Beth's, maybe for moral support or maybe just because her feet were really hurting and having someone to lean on helped.

They followed the trail of pale teal into the building behind the courtyard. Glancing over at the setup, she saw that the musicians were there and tuning their instruments, the photographer and videographer seemed to be conversing about something involve the aisle, probably coordinating their shots. When the photographer saw them arrive, he broke from the conversation and proceeded to follow them inside the building for more posed portraits now that everyone was dressed and ready.

Beth, not too dissimilarly from Lydia, posed where she was told, smiled when she was told, only truly enjoying the few moments she had with Jane as they took photos together.

"You're not upset by what I told you this morning, are you?" Lydia questioned her quietly as their other sisters took turns posing with Jane.

"No, I mean, certainly not upset with you," Beth answered, then paused to think about the question. "No, I'm not upset. Of course, I'm grateful that he helped you, I just want to understand why – aside from the obvious reasons, I mean."

Lydia nodded. "Well, he didn't tell me that, unfortunately, but if you want my opinion…I think you might already know why; I think his reason was no different than the first time he saved me."

Beth's eyes darted to her sister; Lydia didn't know, couldn't know everything that had happened between her and Darcy. She could only know barely the surface. Why would Lydia suggest that he did these things because he loved her? Because that was his reason the first time.

"I'm sorry, Lyd, you just don't know…" she broke off. "It's not possible, after what happened between us. He left me, he left and chose someone else." There wasn't any reason to keep it from her; she couldn't explain why Lydia was wrong otherwise.

Lydia's brow furrowed in sympathy for her sister. "I see," she replied, realizing that sympathy was the last thing Beth needed right now; it was past the time for that. "Every day since I left George, I wake up and wash my face, and the first thing I notice is my broken heart; the sadness suffusing from me. It was what I saw on your face yesterday when we were here. And it is what I saw on Darcy's face when he asked me about you." The look on Lydia's face said that the firmly believed in what she thought she had seen, no matter what Beth would say to the contrary.

"He asked about me? What did he want to know?"

"Who asked about you, Beth?" Caroline's sickeningly sweet voice oozed into their conversation; they'd been so deep in their conversation that they hadn't notice her approach them after Caroline had finished her photos with the bride and her mother.

Beth turned her head, meeting Caroline's eyes with a cool confidence. "No one," she responded, returning Caroline's smile tightly. Lydia just stood silently to her side, probably completely unaware of the silent battle that was waging between the two of them.

"You look tired, Beth," Caroline pressed on, completely ignoring Beth's first attempt to shut her down. "Is everything ok? You really don't look well. Old flames can do that to you." Her phony sigh punctuating the loaded statement.

Beth felt anger burn through her, wanting to smack the smug look off of Caroline's face – a look that taunted Beth that she had lost. Why purpose it could possibly serve now was beyond her. If she had won, if Darcy had chosen her, why would she care about Beth? Why would Caroline bother harassing her?

"Time to line up everyone! We need to head outside!" Mrs. Bennet's shrill voice rang out through the room, but the noise didn't break the stare between Beth and Caroline. Lydia grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the door at the other end of the room that would lead them out the other side of the building to where the bridal party had been instructed to assemble; the strong tug forcing Beth out of Caroline's presence for now.

As they walked through the narrow hallway, Beth tried to look out the lightly tinted windows into the courtyard where guests were gathered in their seats, the string quartet playing, waiting for the processional to begin. She tried to look for Colin, and thought she finally spotted his dark, wavy hair just before the end of the window cut off her sight.

The groomsmen were lined up and waiting as the women exited the building. Beth's step faltered as her eyes found Darcy's, standing and waiting for her to take her place beside him; his face far too handsome to be looking so grim, especially for a wedding, however, there was a faint spark of hope that shone bright in his eyes. _Could it really be because of her?_ She broke her gaze from his; she couldn't afford to believe Lydia, not now. Jane, on the other hand, knew (mostly) the whole story, which meant her advice to at least talk to Darcy about what happened, for her own sake, was valid. Yes, Lydia had completely changed since Beth last saw her – a complete one-hundred-eighty degree turn of personality and priorities, and yes, she seemed to gained a measure of wisdom and maturity that Beth would have previously thought impossible for her. But, it wasn't enough to allow Beth to trust her instincts about Darcy; Lydia barely knew him.

 _She had loved him and even she had been completely wrong._

Beth stepped beside the imposingly impressive man who had invaded her thoughts, looking up at him from underneath her lids.

"Are you ready? You look a little flushed," he asked her quietly. "Don't worry, everything is going to go smoothly." A small smile accompanying his uncharacteristic gesture of support.

Beth took a deep breath. She was fine; she was ready. She placed her hand on his arm, unsuccessfully controlling the shiver that ran through her body, the slight contact beginning to heat every cell inside of her, wanting more. His eyes widened slightly at her reaction, the hope in them intensifying slightly, unsure if he'd misread her reaction of anxiety as desire. Before she had a chance to assure him that she was, at least, ready, his head jerked to the side to look at who had placed their hand on his other arm.

"It's so good to see you, Darcy." The syrupy smoothness of Caroline's voice flowed over her like lava, burning every pore with disgust.

Beth felt Darcy's entire body tense underneath her hand, his muscles taut with what looked like anger written on his face. Her brow creased, confused by what was going on. _Hadn't he gotten back together with Caroline?_ Yes, Jane had insisted that they weren't together, that Caro was being funded by Mrs. DeBourgh, but Beth could only trust what she had seen with her own two eyes.

"Caroline," Darcy ground out, his tone barely civil.

"Oh, don't give me that attitude," she continued, silkily, leaning into him, brushing her chest against the outside of his arm. "I'll see you later and give you something to smile about." And then, she had the nerve to wink at Beth before walking further up to take her place in line.

Beth felt like her face was beet-red after watching their interaction, her breathing labored in confusion, wishing she hadn't seen it or heard anything that Caroline had said; it brought so many thoughts – real and imagined – into her mind that made her want to vomit.

Darcy's arm was still tense, to the point of vibrating, underneath her hand. _Why was he angry?_ Maybe their relationship was still a secret. Maybe he didn't want her to approach him so publicly…like it had been the last time they were a couple. Beth groaned, the thought still painful to her.

"I'm sorry about that…about her, Beth," he whispered as the Bingley's made their way down the aisle, commencing the procession.

Two more couples from the bridal party made it down the aisle before Beth could find the ability to respond. "Don't…don't be sorry," she said, forcing a smile, as the came up to the edge of the building prepared to be the next to walk down the aisle. "Don't be sorry for wanting her."

His head turned sharply towards her, shock shining in his eyes. "What…" he began, but it was their turn to walk. His expression became pained as one foot moved in front of the other carrying them out from behind the building and into the sight of the guests.

Her eyes were now focused ahead, only in her periphery could she see how tightly his jaw was clenched trying to hold back from speaking. They were only a few steps away from the start of the rows of chairs, Beth beginning to look for Colin in the crowd, when she heard the hard, harsh, yet almost imperceptible whisper from the man beside her.

 _"I never wanted her."_

Her breath caught, her vision blurring at the implications of his words just as she managed to catch Col's eyes, and smiling face, in the crowd. She stumbled slightly on the length of her dress, barely noticeable because she was able to grip more firmly onto Darcy's arm; turning her gaze forward, trying to keep the smile on her face from turning into shock.

Suddenly, she was watching her father, teary-eyed with happiness, give Jane a kiss on her cheek and give her away to Charles. Blinking a few times, she realized that she'd completely missed the rest of their walk down the aisle, Jane's entrance and procession. Nausea rolling through her as Darcy's words crashed over her in wave after repetitive wave.

 _I never wanted her._

The music ended and the preacher began to welcome everyone to the ceremony. Beth tried to direct her focus onto her sister, and keep it away from the man standing on the other side of the aisle whose gaze remained solely and intensely grounded on her. The urge to meet it burned through her, tortuously tempting her to him – a trap she'd willingly tumbled into so many times in the past. Unable to take the heat of his stare any longer, she turned her eyes out toward the guests, searching for Colin, her lifeline, in the crowd. It took her a minute to remember where she'd seen him sitting.

She found his concerned face, realizing that he, too, had been watching her, only she hadn't felt his stare; for some reason, her body only resonated under Darcy's eyes. He'd watched her as she walked down the aisle, and seeing her every day over the past four months, most of those days beset by hurt and sadness, he could see that something had upset her.

She gave him a small smile to try and comfort him; the last thing she wanted was him to worry about her. Her attempt worked – his face lit and Col mouthed, 'I saw you trip,' a huge grin spreading across his face, one that she couldn't help but return in equal measure. She quickly mouthed 'jerk' back to him, biting her lip to keep a laugh from escaping. That's when she noticed a few of the other wedding guests looking at her and then over to Col's general area.

Beth went to turn her head back to focus on Jane and Charles exchanging their vows, but it was halted as her eyes inadvertently caught Darcy's. _She should have been more careful._ Where hope had been present before, now only sadness and pain resided, the faint hint of possessiveness tainted his every feature.

 _He'd been watching her too, just now – her and Col._

She swallowed over the lump in her throat. _Hadn't Charles told him she was bringing a date?_ He probably hadn't realized that it was Colin; he'd been jealous of Pat before and now she'd brought his brother to Jane's wedding. She knew the conclusion he would draw – it was the same conclusion that Col had drawn when she'd invited him; and she wasn't sure that either of them were correct in their assumption. They both made more out of it than she felt and she didn't know how to gently tone down Col's expectations let alone explain all of this to Darcy.

 _He doesn't deserve an explanation._

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," the minister boomed in the background, almost completely unnoticed by Beth.

She pursed her lips in frustration – only for a second before the clapping and cheers reminded her of celebration going on around her and she quickly searched out a happy smile for Jane and slapped it onto her face as Charles leaned down to kiss his new bride.

The walk back down the aisle was much different than the walk up it. From the outside, she was sure nothing would have appeared off; on the inside though, something had changed. Even though she was holding on to him, he was distant; his face devoid of emotion, barely a smile gracing it just to appease the photographer and the wedding guests cheering them on as they passed by.

 _Funny how months ago she'd dreamt of this walk down the aisle – only she'd been the one wearing white, not Jane, and the man she'd been holding onto didn't feel like he was trying to get as far away from her as possible._

When they finally cleared the guests, Darcy went to pull away from her, and her fingers tightened on his arm.

"Darcy," she said, stunned by need to comfort him. "We'll talk later?" she asked him quietly as they approached the rest of the gathered party – including Caroline, who was watching them through narrowed eyes.

His mouth tightened and he gave her a slight nod, almost in resignation, before his arm slipped away from her and he turned to congratulate Charles.

She watched him go, her tongue burning to call his name and say ' _I never wanted him. I never wanted Colin.'_ But, he was already gone.

Beth turned and found herself in the warm embrace of the new, Mrs. Charles Bingley, hoping that the love and happiness of her sister was contagious.

"Congratulations, Jane! I love you," she whispered in her sister's ear, grateful that such extreme happiness was also a reason to cry; whether it was her reason for the tears cascading down her face was another story.


	13. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Beth tapped her knife gently on her wine glass, trying to get the attention of the crowd. She hadn't wanted to make a speech, but for Jane she knew that she had to. Thankfully, the flight down from Boston had given her some time to focus on what she wanted to say. Now, pulling out the small piece of paper that had been folded inside of her dress pocket, she nervously opened it up, giving the quieting room a brief smile.

They had truly done a beautiful job with the reception room – the vaulted ceilings adorned with large hanging crystal chandeliers, decorated with deep green ivy and foliage. Guests were seated at large round tables, the centerpieces comprised of several varying-sized candles, flowers overflowing from small vases, scattered onto the tabletop. Each place setting had four wine glasses and a menu that also indicated which wine had been expertly paired with each course.

The bridal party was all seated at a long rectangular table along the one wall, with Jane and Charles in the center. Beth sat between Jane and Lydia, able to look out into the crowd and easily avoid seeing either Darcy or Caroline. Colin, being a last-minute addition, was seated with some of her parents' other friends, including Char and Bill, and the Lucas', at a table that was two tables in front of her. She still hadn't really been able to talk to him since the ceremony, the bridal party was whisked away for more photos, and then they'd made their entrance into the reception taking their place at the bridal table while Jane and Charles had their first dance. Guest after guest, friend after family member had stopped in front of the table to then congratulate Jane and Charles in person, and since Beth was seated right next to the bride, that meant Col waited in the enormous line of guests to see the bride, when all he wanted was to see her. She gave him an apologetic smile as he finally made it in front of her.

"Finally!" he exclaimed with his movie-star smile, his arms held out as she stood to embrace him; she knew he wanted to kiss her, but that was too much, too fast, and in front of too many people, so, at the last second, she tilted her head, giving him her cheek and returning the kiss on his. He didn't miss a beat, pulling back with his ever-endearing smile, but neither did Darcy. She didn't have to look, she knew he was watching her; her spine tingled under his stare.

"I'm so sorry," she replied, still smiling at him, trying to ignore Darcy, "I didn't think through how preoccupied I would be all day; I feel terrible for asking you to come now, only to have to have been by yourself all afternoon."

"Beth, don't worry about me," he reassured her; still holding her hands in his, his thumbs began to rub over the backs of hers. "I can make friends, or fans, anywhere."

Beth smiled at his joke, but before she could respond, her father had stood up to draw the attention of the guests, asking that everyone would be seated so that the food could be served and the toasts could begin.

"I'll see you soon," she said with a weak smile, half-statement, half-question with the way the afternoon had been going.

"Oh, don't worry, I'm not letting you out of my sight. After the afternoon watching you from afar, I'll be collecting on some up-close-and-personal dances in the very near future." He winked at her before releasing her hands and walking back to his table. Beth couldn't help but smile – and notice the heads that turned to follow him, the whispers wondering if that was who they thought it was, and the intrigued gazes that inevitably found their way back to her.

And so, here she was, standing in the spotlight of stares from the crowd – partially because of Col, and partially because she was about to give her speech. Taking a deep breath, she let her focus fall on Colin and Char's smiling faces, drawing on their support for her.

"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen for being here today to celebrate my beautiful sister Jane, and her new husband, Charles," she began graciously, her voice steadily raising as she transitioned into a place of love and confidence, thinking and speaking about her sister. "For those of you who don't know me, my name is Beth and I'm one of Jane's younger sisters." Here, she paused and briefly glanced to her right, indicating that they all, save Caroline, were Jane's younger sisters. "Jane, I think I can speak for all of when I say just how much we all look up to you. Your calm and caring composure, your ever-potent optimism, your beauty and modesty, are all traits that I think the rest of us wish we would have gotten at least one of." A soft chuckle ran through the audience. "You are our role model, which is why it's only fitting that you should have fallen in love with such an equally kind and caring man, in what only can be described as a storybook romance. Throughout our lives, you've shown us what it means to be a good person, a respected woman, and through your love with Charles, we all now know what true love looks like, if we are ever so lucky to stumble into it." She choked on those last words, the guests assuming it was because of the love she felt for her sister.

 _It wasn't._

She hadn't realized it on the plane when she was writing, but reading it aloud now, all she could remember was stumbling into Darcy at Longbourne, the day she'd been instructed to give him a tour. _Had she known that when she was writing this? Had she been subconsciously thinking about him? Was her heart trying to tell her that she had already stumbled into love?_

"You both, and your love for each other, are an inspiration to all of us and I wish you a lifetime of happiness. Cheers to the bride and groom!" she finished quickly, giving everyone one last smile before turning to hug her sister and Charles in turn as they thanked her for her kind words.

Beth didn't know why, but she wasn't expecting Darcy to make a toast – it didn't seem like something that Darcy would deign to do. And yet, as soon as she sat down, he stood with his champagne glass in hand, clearing his throat.

"Good evening, everyone. My name is William Darcy, and I am Charles' best man," he began, his tone very business-like, as though he were giving a presentation to his board members. Then, he looked down at Jane and Charles, his eyes pausing briefly on Beth on their way back up to the rest of the guests, some of the harshness leaving his features. "Charles, it is an honor to be standing here with you today. You are my oldest friend, someone I consider like a younger brother to me." _Was he choking up?_ Beth's mouth parted in wonder. "Someone once asked me if I admired anyone." She felt her mouth go dry – it had been her; _she had asked him that._ "There is one person that I can list with no reservations and that is you. Like Miss Bennet mentioned, your kindness and generosity, your intellect, your accomplishments…some might think me unfazed by these things, or too proud to admit them, but I admire you."

Charles leaned forward to cover his mouth with his hand, Darcy's words clearly making him emotional as well; Jane was already shedding tears.

"The past several months have brought a new dimension to our friendship and I don't know that I would be standing here if you hadn't been by my side." _What is he talking about?_ Beth was completely baffled. "Jane," he paused to give her sister a brief smile, "I know I wasn't your favorite person when we first met – it's ok, I know you would never admit to it, but it's the truth. I doubted your and Charles' relationship in the beginning because I didn't think that love like this was possible; the fact that I'm standing here today shows just how wrong I was. There are some here who may believe that I never admit to a fault," he paused again, but made no move to look at Beth, even though those were again her words that she'd said to him at her parent's dinner table within the first few days of meeting him, "but, I will freely and gladly admit just how wrong the doubt I had was. The love that you share is truly an inspiration to all of those who know you." Darcy raised his glass, his speech coming to an end. "I hope that one day, a love like yours will stumble into my life again," the last said quietly, as if an afterthought, a hope that he couldn't help wishing for; his eyes found Beth's and there was no mistaking that he was referring to her. "Charles, you are a very lucky man and I couldn't be happier for the two of you. To the bride and groom!" he finished his toast, everyone cheering as they sipped their champagne; Jane and Charles standing to hug Darcy and thank him for his exceptionally kind words.

He didn't look at Beth again, as they sat, or while the food came and they ate. In fact, he seemed like he was purposely intent on keeping his conversation directed towards the other groomsmen, rather than conversing with Charles, which would have had him looking in Beth's direction.

Jane on the other hand had looked at Beth as soon as she sat down – a look that said, ' _you know he was talking about you, right?'_ Beth could only purse her lips in response, now knowing that she did need to talk to Darcy more than ever.

 _Misunderstandings. Miscommunications. The story of their relationship._

She was over it; it was tiring and it was holding her back. Beth wanted to talk to him, clear the air now that the immediacy of the anger and betrayal that they'd apparently both felt had cleared; she wanted to talk to him and then she wanted to move on – go back to Boston, enjoy her job, enjoy whatever happened between her and Colin.

For Jane, this weekend was a new beginning. For Beth, she wanted it to be an end to the Darcy chapter in her life. She needed it to be.

Dinner passed in quiet conversation between herself and either Jane or Lydia – mostly discussions about the events of the day, interspersed with brief interruptions from friends and family coming up between courses to offer their congratulations. After an hour, and five courses of some of the most delicious farm-to-table food she'd ever eaten, everyone was instructed to make their way back outside where the ceremony space had been transformed into the dancefloor, complete with an outdoor lounge filled with couches and chairs, an outdoor bar, as well as the lower level of the building being opened into a lounge for those who wanted to sit inside by the fireplaces.

Finally able to join Col, they walked outside with Lydia and Mary. The live band had already begun to play as the guests gathered around the dance floor for Charles and Jane's first dance.

 _He was still watching her._

The cool, spring night did nothing to dampen the heat from Darcy's stare. She'd lost track of him in the exodus outside, trying to not draw any more attention to the two of them after Darcy's speech, purposely willingly herself to stay focused on Col and her sisters, fighting the urge to meet his gaze, wherever it was coming from.

Beth sighed, watching her older sister dance with her husband to John Legend's, _All of Me_. She jumped slightly as she felt Col's arm snake around her waist, pulling her closer to his side; it was a small movement, that most guests probably couldn't even see because everyone was standing so close, and she knew he did it, not just because he liked her and wanted to be closer to her, but because he wanted her to know that she could lean on him for whatever was going on. Looking up, she gave him a grateful smile.

"You look beautiful tonight, Beth," he whispered down to her, his smile shining on her.

She blushed, "thank you." She enjoyed his compliment – who wouldn't? But she felt the sting of disappointment when the words didn't excite her as Darcy's had done when he had told her the same thing earlier.

The song ended and the real dancing music started, Col immediately, using his hold on her waist, pulling her out to the dance and against him. Beth laughed at the suddenness of his move, and then at his faux-serious face as he began to show her those infamous dance moves of his.

The classic, foot-stomping, hip-swaying songs that the band kept playing, along with Col's enthusiastic dancing and relentless attempts to have her dance too, preoccupied her mind and she let her tension drain away as she just gave in to the feeling of having fun underneath the night sky. Even though the buzz of Darcy's continued stare electrified her cells, Beth told herself it was from the wine.

 _Something she needed a little more of._

Practically pulling Colin away from the dance floor, and the bevy of onlookers who'd, by now, had realized that it was indeed Patrick Dempsey's brother whom the younger Miss Bennet had brought as her date to the wedding. Laughing, they stopped by where Lydia and Mary were still standing and talking – Lydia's feet too sore to think about dancing to anything upbeat, and Mary, well, Mary was too shy to ask someone or dance on her own, instead preferring to critique the crowd as though it was a conscious choice to remain on the sideline.

"Colin, these are my younger sisters, Lydia and Mary. Guys, this is Colin," Beth introduced Col as they joined her sisters. He knew about all of them, but he'd never met them.

"It's great to meet you ladies, I've heard so many wonderful things about you," Col said with a smile, leaning in to hug both of them. "Can I get you ladies something to drink?" he asked, graciously.

Lydia's eyes widened. "I would love a glass of ice water, please," she requested.

"Of course, anything else?" He now turned his gaze to her.

"Just a glass of white wine is fine," Beth said with a smile; she wasn't looking to get drunk tonight, even though the amount of questions and confusion running through her mind would have certainly enjoyed the numb respite. "Have you been drinking water, Lydia? Maybe you should sit down…" Beth said to her sister as Col walked off towards the bar.

"I have. I've already had one glass since we've been out here; I just hate having to pee all the time," she grumbled.

"Do you want to sit down?" she asked again.

"Well…" Lydia trailed off, her eyes darting to Mary who was looking expectantly at the dance floor, the hope in her eyes, that someone would want to dance with her, was crystal clear.

"I need a break from dancing for a minute, so, why don't you sit? Mary and I will keep an eye on the dance floor," Beth said with a smile, giving Lydia the excuse she wanted to rest her feet, and the comfort that she wouldn't be dragging Mary with her; Mary didn't like looking like a loner, even though most days she enjoyed it. If Lydia had left to sit, Mary would have gone with her, even though Mary was dying to dance.

"Thanks," Lydia answered gratefully, waiting for Col to return with her water before she waddled into the building to relax on one of the couches inside.

"So, Mary, see anyone who catches your eye?" Col asked with a smile, trying to draw out her younger sister. "We danced past a lot of these guys, so you tell me who and I'll tell you if he's a good dancer and worth your time."

A blush crept into Mary's face. "I'm not sure," she responded quietly. Beth couldn't tell if there was a guy she thought was cute or not; Mary was her one sister who could be difficult to read.

"Well, you let me know. Can't have you dancing with someone who has two left feet!" Col got a smile to break over Mary's face with that one – and over her own. Most people just tried to write Mary off, or just ignore her if possible – which could be easy since she was quiet around people she didn't know, but instead, Col jumped right in and tried to engage her instead of keeping his focus solely on Beth. It was wonderful for Mary, but for Beth, his focus elsewhere meant that hers became more concentrated on the steady burn throughout her body, that she no longer would try to blame on the alcohol.

 _A burn that was becoming hotter and harder to extinguish._

The band transition to a slow song and Beth groaned inwardly, meeting Col's gaze with a pleading smile. She didn't want to leave Mary alone to go dance with Col.

 _At least that was the reason most of her didn't want to go dance with Col._

A small, yet potent, part of her just wanted to forget everyone and everything else and go find Darcy; they needed to clear the air between them. He needed to clear the fog that swirled around in her head, filled with dusty, half-lucid speculations as to what had really happened between them, and what he'd meant when he'd said that he never wanted Caroline.

"Why would they play a slow song?" Mary grumbled. "That's one way to empty the dance floor…" Her tone was one of annoyance, though only to conceal her desire to dance with someone, and her hurt knowing that she wasn't going to get that chance.

Col listened and then gave Beth a slight nod, understanding her dilemma; then, as though looking for some small consolation for not being able to dance with her, he reached down and grabbed her hand, intertwining his fingers in hers. Her head ducked for a moment, noticing the few curious stares and hushed conversation from those who'd left the dance floor lacking a partner; _people loved to talk._

Her face flushed slightly from the embarrassment; she didn't want to be the topic of conversation again, but she didn't want Col to be concerned either. He'd put up with a lot today, not to mention just coming down here when he has so many other things that he could…and probably should, be doing.

Beth felt the steady fire inside of her burn brighter, anticipation spreading in her cells, sensing that the source of their energy was getting closer.

 _Darcy._

Before she could look around to find him, Mary said, "You guys can go dance if you want to; I'm fine here by myself." Even though she put on a brave face, Beth could see her eyes glassing over, knowing that even _she,_ Beth, had someone to dance with and yet, Mary still had no one.

Col stayed silent, waiting for Beth to make the decision and respond. She looked towards the dance floor and her breath caught. Her gaze captured by a singular molten stare, one that was approaching them directly. Her mouth parted in shock and concern.

 _What was he doing? Did he see Col take her hand?_

His gaze was hard and she knew that he had.

 _Was he going to punch Col? Was he going to confront him?_

Beth feared the worst; this new Darcy, while different, was just as confusing and unpredictable as the old one. He was in front of them before Beth could do anything about it. His eyes moved from hers to meet Col's – a veritable stare-down occurring between them.

"Dempsey," Darcy said gruffly, yet with no malice.

"Darcy, I presume" Colin returned cautiously.

Of course, Col would always try to be exceedingly gracious to anyone, even though he knew what Beth had suffered because of him.

His gaze returned to hers, burning right through her; her mouth went dry under his stare. He looked at her with a mix of desire, regret, and resignation. One more moment and Beth was about to ask him plainly what he wanted, what he was doing there – the suspense and small-talk killing her, when he turned away from her to _Mary._

"Mary, I was wondering if you would mind dancing with me?" his deep tone only accentuated the seriousness of his request that was written plainly on his exquisitely handsome face.


	14. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Col turned to face her surely stunned expression, watching as Darcy, who disliked dancing (who hadn't danced with anyone at the wedding yet) walked onto the dance floor with Miss Mary Bennet, the shyest and most awkward of all the Bennet sisters.

"Well, that wasn't what I was expecting," Col said, lightheartedly. "Nice of him to ask her."

 _Nice didn't even begin to describe it._

Col raised his eyebrows at her, wondering what her opinion of what had just happened was, and a silent question if she now wanted to join him back out on the dance floor for what remained of the slow song. Beth nodded, letting him lead her out onto the floor by the hand he still held, choosing not to comment about Darcy asking her sister to dance. They didn't wander far into the crowd, like Darcy had with Mary, staying instead at the edge of the dance floor. Col pulled her tight against him and Beth let him, her face looking over his shoulder, catching a glimpse every turn or two of the man who still made her heart race as he graciously danced with her sister.

 _Darcy hates dancing. Why had he ask Mary?_

"Thank you for inviting me," Col whispered into her ear.

Beth tried to swallow over the lump in her throat. "Of course," her voice thick with emotion, unfortunately though, not because of his words.

 _Why had he asked Mary?_

 _You know why._

Seeing Col holding her hand, the look of resignation Darcy gave her before turning to Mary…he'd asked her so that she'd be able to dance with Col without feeling guilty for leaving Mary alone.

 _Maybe it was because he really didn't want her anymore._

He could have just been trying to make amends, trying to extend an olive branch to say that he approved of her having a relationship with Col. She needed to talk to him, and she needed to talk to him tonight.

 _This needed to end tonight – one way or another._

"You ok?" Col asked, as another slow song began, keeping them held tightly together, swaying on the dance floor.

"Yeah," Beth sighed, "just an emotional day…" Her eyes instinctively looked for Darcy and Mary again in the crowd. She heard Col begin to respond, but lost focus on him as her eyes spotted Darcy's perfect, dark hair in the crowd, accented by Caroline's blond hair as she stood in front of him.

Beth felt her heart began to race. They weren't dancing, just standing in the middle of the dance floor. She looked for Mary, who she spotted a moment later walking off the side of the dance floor towards Kat. Her eyes reaching for Darcy again, only to find her view of him blocked by another couple on the dance floor. A few seconds later and Darcy was back in view, his face hard, anger visibly marking his features, Caroline's hand resting on his chest; Beth couldn't see her face, but she must be talking to him because Darcy's mouth wasn't moving which meant he must be listening to her.

 _What was going on between them?_

Again, the other guests dancing got in Beth's way and she lost sight of them again, this time a little longer than the last. A slight turn brought her heart to a full stop; Caroline kissing Darcy.

And then, Col pulled his head back in front of hers, and into her view. "You sure you're ok? I mean I know I'm a yakker, but you haven't said anything for the past few minutes."

Beth nodded frantically, trying to appease him so that she could see what was happening between Darcy and Caroline. "Sorry, just taking it all in. I think I'm getting a little dehydrated," she murmured – hoping that moving off the dance floor towards the bar would give her a better view of Darcy and Caro.

"Of course, yeah, let's go get some water," he agreed, finally moving out of her way.

But it was for nothing; as soon as Col released all but her hand to lead her off the floor, neither Darcy nor Caroline remained where they had been standing – _embracing;_ they were gone.

She numbly followed Col over to the bar, her head turning frantically trying to find where they had gone. Just as they made it through the crowd that was gathered at the edge of the dance floor to watch the other guests dancing, she spotted Caroline's blond head being pulled relentlessly behind Darcy into the side building where the cocktail hour had been.

"Hey, drink this, you look really pale." The glass of water in front of her face and Col's concerned voice drawing her gaze back to him. "Let's go sit down, you look like you're about to pass out."

 _I wish._

His arm snaked around her waist and led her to a spot on the couch next to where Lydia was sitting, chatting with Mary.

"Beth, are you ok?" Lydia asked, her worried eyes trained on Beth.

She nodded, "yeah, just got a little lightheaded; I think I just need water and to sit for a minute."

Lydia's head bobbed in acknowledgment even though her gaze suggested she knew there was more to it.

"Just sit and relax here for a minute, sweetheart, and drink the water," Col said calmly, his hand rubbing circles on her back.

Beth took nice, slow sips of the ice-cold water. Maybe it wasn't what she was thinking; he seemed pretty upset when he saw Caroline earlier, not to mention he'd told her plainly that he didn't want – no, 'never wanted' Caroline. The initial shock wearing off, Beth felt the color returning to her cheeks and the rational thoughts returning to her brain.

"Sorry," she said, turning to face Col, "I'm feeling better, thank you."

"Good – although, I do have to say that I was thoroughly looking forward to catching you and carrying you over here in case you didn't make it," he said with a wink, his head beginning to bob to the beat as the band began to play Michael Jackson's 'Beat It'.

"Yeah? I bet you were," Beth replied wryly, letting a smile creep onto her face.

"Any chance you might be able to carry me to the car soon, Colin?" Lydia asked jokingly, the semi-pained expression on her face telling everyone that swollen feet while you are pregnant is no fun. Both Beth and Col chuckled.

"I can definitely try and make that happen – unless your sister here decides to pass out first. Unfortunately, she has first dibs on me," he replied, giving Beth a sideways glace, his words ringing with a serious undertone.

"Hey, are you guys ok?" Everyone looked up at the beautiful and breathless bride as she walked up to their group.

"Yeah, we are great! Just taking a break from dancing," Beth reassured her sister; the last person she wanted worried at the wedding was Jane.

"Oh, ok, good. I think I might join you…and maybe take my shoes off." Jane whispered the last part conspiratorially; Jane had been dancing for a while too and now that some of the guests were starting to leave, she finally broke down and came off the floor to take a breather.

"Don't worry, mom's inside chatting with Mrs. Lucas," Lydia said, knowing whom Jane was concerned about. Jane just smiled before digging underneath her dress to slip off her shoes.

"Where's Charles?" Beth asked, knowing she'd just seen them together on the dance floor not that long ago.

Jane's face reddened. "I, uhh, I'm not exactly sure," she said softly, biting her lip. With her shoes off, Jane looked up and Beth followed her gaze, spotting the groom heading towards them with a frown on his face, from the general direction of where Darcy and Caro were.

Jane stood immediately and walked out to meet him before he reached the group. Beth tried to listen, tried to read lips, but it was no use, the band and the distance that they were from her meant she couldn't hear what was going on.

"I hope everything is ok," Col whispered in her ear.

"Me too," she agreed, hoping that Jane would come back to their group so she could make sure of it.

A few seconds later, Charles released Jane from his embrace, his face tight with anger – a rare emotion for Charles to have, and stalked off to the far end of the dance floor, where Beth didn't see anyone she recognized, except for the Bingleys.

Beth stood and walked the few steps over to Jane, who had stayed standing, watching her husband.

"Jane, what's going on?" Beth asked her sister quietly, interrupting her trance.

"Oh," Jane jumped slightly, "oh, nothing. I mean, it's fine. It'll be ok." _Yeah, right._ Her voice quavered and she was gnawing on her lower lip – everything was not fine.

"Jane, please," Beth begged, hating to see the worry on her face. Beth turned her head slightly to see Charles following his parents back over in their general direction.

Jane grabbed her hand, "It's fine, Beth, really. It's just Caroline, but it will be ok," she replied quickly, plastering a brave smile on her face before she released Beth's hand and walked out to meet Charles as they passed by, his arm encircling her waist as the four of them headed inside the building where, Beth presumed, Darcy and Caroline still were.

 _Had Charles caught Darcy with his sister? Was that what was going on?_

No, he wouldn't want Jane in there for that – or his parents.

Beth reluctantly tore her gaze away from the door, making her way back down to sit next to Col.

"Did she say what's going on? Charles didn't look happy," Col asked.

"Not really – something having to do with his sister."

"She's crazy," Mary mumbled, having been silent this entire time.

Beth's head turned fast to stare at her, unsure if she was referencing Caroline or just talking to herself about someone else. "Caroline?"

"Yeah," Mary replied, giving Beth a face that said 'duh!'

Beth's lips thinned slightly, the thought dawning on her that Mary had been with Darcy when Caroline interrupted them. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, first, Charles didn't want her in the wedding at all," Mary began with a huff, annoyed that she was having to explain herself, "so, Jane had to convince him that she was his sister and it was the right thing to do to still let her be a part of the day. But, mostly, because she was really weird and rude for interrupting us in the middle of the song."

"Oh," Beth replied, thinking that there was more to the story than Mary just thinking, although rightfully so, that someone was weird.

Noticing the look Beth gave at her answer, Mary huffed and continued, "I wasn't finished. Also, she refused to go away when Mr. Darcy told her that she wasn't supposed to be there."

The door to the building opened, catching Beth's eye before she could respond to Mary, Caroline walking out, rage bubbling out onto her pristine face as she walked directly towards the exit to the courtyard. Mr. and Mrs. Bingley were right behind her out of the door, taking a few steps behind her before stopping and watching her leave. Jane slipped out next, her face flushed, and Beth could tell that whatever happened in there was upsetting to Jane. She gave Beth a weak smile before she was intercepted by two couples, looking to congratulate her before they left.

"Looks like something serious," Col murmured to her.

"Yeah, really," she agreed, turning to face him, only to notice her mother heading directly for Jane, her brows furrowed in determination. _Oh no._ That was not what Jane needed right now.

Grabbing Col's hand, Beth stood abruptly, leading him over to her mother; she mouthed 'sorry' to him just before grabbing her mom's attention. "Mom, hey, what's up?" _Ugh, not a good start._

"I don't know, but I'm intending to find out; Jane, Charles, and the Bingleys all disappeared – some of the guests have asked me why. I need to know what is going on."

"Oh, well I just wanted to introduce you to Col," Beth said, slapping a smile on her face. "Col, this is my mother, Irene Bennet. Mom, this is Colin Dempsey, my date."

Her mother's eyes widened as the reality of whose presence she was in overtook her need for information. "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Dempsey," she said in a dramatic apology, characteristic of her blatant need to impress everyone.

Col fell right into step with her plan, engaging her mother in conversation while Beth kept an eye on Jane…and the door behind her, waiting for Darcy to exit. The conversation between her mother and Col became a dull buzz, that shattered into silence when Darcy finally emerged with Charles – both looking grim. Charles leaned in and actually hugged Darcy before giving him a brief nod and walking towards Jane.

Her skin prickled as Darcy's gaze locked with hers, walking towards her as if his body had no other choice. Her breath caught, forgetting her surroundings, her mother, her date, everything except the anticipation of being near _him_ again. He made it around Jane, just a few steps away from her, when she felt the weight of Col's hand coming to rest possessively on her back, like an anchor being reeled back in from the depth of the sea.

 _Where she'd been happily drowning._

She saw the look of hurt cross Darcy's face; the cold sting of reality doused her as she turned to see Col, in slow-motion, lean down and kiss her on the cheek. "I'm one lucky man to have your beautiful daughter on my arm tonight, ma'am," she heard Col say to her mom.

Her eyes opened, head turning back to look at Darcy, except he was gone.

"Well isn't that just lovely," Mrs. Bennet replied, her eyes shining with pride, and the need to share that juicy tidbit with whatever guests and friends were left. Excusing herself, she began to flag down Mrs. Lucas.

"Did I do good?" Col asked with a proud smile on his face. "I'm assuming you were trying to spare Jane from her prying questions."

She was, and he did. He'd distracted Irene with the enticing prospect of his relationship with her daughter; the problem was that his audience hadn't stayed limited to only her. His gesture seemed to have convinced Darcy, too. And she shouldn't be mad at Col for it; _but, she kind of (guiltily) was._

"Yes, thank you," she said with a tired smile. "I think I'm ready to head out, if that's ok with you?" Beth just wanted to go to bed – family was so exhausting.

Col's arm tightened around her waist, pulling her against him as he leaned down to kiss her again on the side of her head. _God, why did he have to be so sweet?_ For a second, she let her eyes close and melt against him, willing her body to feel something, to want something, to want _him._

But, all she felt was tired.

"Any chance I can steal one more dance from you before our night ends?" he whispered in her ear.

She didn't have the heart to refuse him. "Of course," she said, offering him a smile as he led her back into the dwindling crown one last time.

Her body settled against him again, feeling nothing more than his body heat where they were touching. Beth tried to convince herself that that was a good thing – it allowed her to think straight, to not be overwhelmed, to act rationally; it was what she wanted.

"I know you're stressed because he's here," Col murmured to her.

Her breath caught for a second before releasing. _Of course, he would know._ He'd been her closest friend over the past few months, the one who knew the most about what had happened; there was no point trying to hide it from him.

"I just thought it would be easier than it was – seeing him again, I mean," she replied quietly. "I thought all of the hurt and anger that I'd gone through would make me somehow immune."

His hand began to rub slow circles on her lower back in comfort. "When you've hurt so badly over someone, I don't think it's possible to be completely immune. Even for me, with my mom and the Contest…every year I stand up to welcome everyone to the event and tell her story; every year, I go into it positive that this year it won't hurt, that it's been long enough. And every year, I'm completely wrong and I get depressed for a few days even though we're doing such a good thing," he sighed, the emotion, even now, getting to him. "I know it's not quite the same, but for someone who had that kind of impact on your life, instead of fighting against the feelings, it's better in the long run to just figure out how to cope with them."

Beth nodded against his shoulder, tears welling in her eyes. She loved how he could put aside his personal feelings because he wanted what was best for her; it would be easy to jump on all the horrible things Darcy had said and done, try to convince her that forgetting about him, or hating him, would be easier; but, he didn't. _He was such a good man._

"Not that I have much more advice that that," he chuckled, "because I still haven't quite figured it out either. I do wish though that there was something I could do to make it easier for you…" He trailed off as his voice became hoarse, his feelings for her no longer being shielded. "I just want you to know that I would never hurt you like that, but, more importantly, that I am always here for you in whatever capacity that you need me."

Beth sucked in a shaky breath, trying desperately not to cry – Col's sweetness turning out to be the straw that might break the camel's back. "Thank you," she whispered thickly over her tears. She sighed in relief as the song came to an end, desperately needing to be somewhere where it wouldn't be fuel for gossip as to why she was crying.

"Alright, gorgeous, let's get you back to your room so you can get some sleep," Col said. Beth was grateful for his support as he kept her held tightly against him as they went to say goodbye to Jane and Charles and Beth's sisters who were all still in a small group talking.

"Are you guys heading out?" Jane asked, seeing them approach.

"Yeah, I have an early flight in the morning back to Boston, so I should probably get some rest," Col answered, sparing Beth from being the reason that they were leaving a half an hour before the reception technically ended.

"Oh, of course," Jane said, approaching him to give him a hug. "Thank you so much for coming. I can't tell you how much we appreciate it." Releasing him, she enveloped Beth in her arms as Charles shook Col's hand.

"Congratulations, sis. You looked beautiful. I hope everything about today was just as you hoped," Beth whispered to her sister.

"Oh, it was. Thank you for being a part of it; it means the world to me," Jane replied, beginning to release her, but not before she whispered, " _just talk to him."_ As Beth pulled back, she saw the look in her sister's eyes that said Jane could tell she was struggling tonight with seeing and being around Darcy.

They hugged Mary, Lydia, and Kat, before making their way to the exit; Beth purposely trying to avoid seeing her mother who would be upset that they were leaving early – _well, maybe not if Col told her that he needed to._ Either way, she wasn't going to take the chance. They quietly slipped out of the courtyard and into the shuttle that was running to transport guests back to the hotel.

The gentle rumble of the bus lured Beth's eyelids closed, her head gently resting on Col's shoulder as it brought them back to the hotel. She relaxed against him, her mind registering his subtle scent.

 _Crisp and clean._

 _And safe._

"Beth, hey, we're back at the hotel," Col said softly as his hand gently squeezing hers.

"Oh, sorry," she mumbled, drowsily waking up from her slumber. Leaning on Col's arm, she let him lead her off the bus and into the lobby, stopping just as they entered the Castle.

"If you think I'm letting you walk back up to your room by yourself like this, you are sadly mistaken," he said with a smile and his eyebrows raised.

 _Of course._

"My room is just right up the steps…" she said, unsure if she was telling him that as an attempt to direct him, or to justify the fact that she didn't really need him to walk her there.

"Mine's on the newer side of the hotel," Col said as they began to move up the flight of stairs. "I want to say goodbye to you though, even though I'll see you later this week." Seeing Beth's confused stare, he continued, "I wasn't kidding when I said that I had an early flight out tomorrow morning. I have to leave here by six."

"Oh," Beth responded quietly, guilt washing over her that she'd invited him to the wedding – to have him fly down only to spend less than twelve hours here.

"Don't," he began sternly, as they approached the door to her room, "don't feel bad. I practically invited myself here, so it was my choice to travel like a crazy person." He turned to face her, his fingers resting under her chin, tipping her face up to his. "And, I'd do it all again. For you."

Beth heard his words and saw his head move towards hers in a fog, knowing that the kiss was coming. Col's lips gently touched hers, the sweetness of his kiss trying to combat the bitter burn that controlled the rest of her. His arm came around her, pulling her tight against him, and she felt his arousal press into her stomach. A small gasp escaped her and Col took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside of her mouth. When his tongue brushed hers, the reality of where this situation could leave jolted her senses to attention.

She pulled her head back, her hands on his chest. Biting her lip, she looked at him apologetically before resting her forehead on his shoulder, trying to figure out the right thing to say. Thankfully, Col always seemed to have that on hand.

"Sorry – you just looked so beautiful, I had to have a taste," he said hoarsely. "But we should both get to bed." His arms released her as he took a step back.

"I –" she began as his hand came up and he cut her off.

"Don't even think about it," he interjected with a smile. "Just tell me you had a good time tonight and that I'll talk to you later."

She laughed softly. "I did have a wonderful time tonight. Thank you for coming down to dance with me." _Because that's really all he'd been able to do._ "I'll talk to you soon."

"Goodnight, Beth," he whispered, leaning in to her again to kiss her forehead.

"Goodnight," she whispered back.

He began to walk down the hall as Beth put her key into the door. "You just wait," he said, turning to face her once more, "my dance moves will be the talk of the town tomorrow." And, with a wink, he turned the corner and was gone.

Beth found herself taking a sideways glance at the door across the hall one more time before she entered her room. _Alone._

She slipped off her shoes right by the door, walking straight into the bathroom to wash off her makeup. _God, she was a mess, even with all that make-up to cover it up._ She looked in the mirror at the person who Col wanted, who he desired. Col – handsome, sweet, caring, kind, considerate, _dreamy,_ Col; yeah, _he was crazy._ Beth laughed at herself; only she would freaking end up with McDreamy as a date to her sister's wedding, as someone who desires her, who wanted to be with her, and only she would be the one who couldn't find any sort of spark to desire him back.

She flipped the faucet on cold in frustration, lathering up her facewash; she began to remove the mask that had been shielding her all evening. The wetness on her cheeks convinced her eyes that it was finally ok to let go of what they'd been holding back. In irritation, tears mingled with the soap as Beth tried to scrub off her feelings along with the make-up.

Maybe she'd scrubbed a little too hard – toweling dry her, now red, face. Biting her lip, she tried to stop the rush of angry tears that threatened to fall.

 _God, what was wrong with her?_

She'd stood in the hallway with Col and kissed him, just like she'd kissed Darcy the other night, only with Col she'd felt nothing. _And she wanted to fucking feel something._ She hated how the comparison played over and over again in her mind; she hated how her body wanted _him_ , how her mind – _and heart_ – begged to know what had happened, begged to talk to him.

 _It wasn't fair to want someone who'd hurt her so badly; it wasn't fucking fair._

To her, or Col, who'd been nothing but perfect. _Perfectly comfortable Colin._

 _Disappointing._

 _Despicable._

 _Dreadful._

 _Dreary._

 _Damnable._

 _Dreamy._

 _Desirable._

 _Darcy._

Her hand smacked down on the counter in agitation; she'd thought she'd been too tired to deal with this tonight, but every cell in her body burned for answers.

Without taking a second glance at her red and anger-ravaged face, she threw open the door to her room and stalked across the hall, banging her fist on Mr. Intolerable's door, feeling the few traitorous tears slink down her face. Her hand stopped abruptly, mid-air, as a very gorgeous, and very shirtless, Mr. Darcy opened the door; his hair a mess, his pants partially undone, his eyes alight with surprise.

Beth felt her mouth part, her lungs gasping for air, and her body tingling disloyally at the sight of him. _For a second._ Then, the anger and frustration came rushing back in.

" _How. Dare. You,"_ she whispered harshly, stepping towards him and poking her finger into his unmistakably solid chest. His eyes darkened at her words. "How dare you come here, to my sister's wedding, after everything that has happened and pretend like it's all ok? How dare you want to talk to me _now_ – after months that I've spent trying to incinerate every last piece of my heart that you left broken?"

Beth heard her voice raising, the tone becoming precariously hysterical as she advanced on him, barely hearing the door shut behind her. She watched his mouth thin as she spoke, his jaw clenching, and it only fueled her fury.

"How dare you basically pay for Jane's wedding after giving Lydia a job and a house? How dare you help my family instead of just apologizing to me?" Now, she was hysterical. _And she didn't care._ Her voice wavered, tears streaming down her face. "How dare you kiss me and tell me that I look beautiful, and make me remember everything that I've tried so hard to forget?" He'd stopped moving back, standing tall and proud as she advanced on him, still unsure what exactly her plan was once she reached him. "How dare you," she whispered, pain breaking her voice, "how dare you tell me that you never wanted Caroline – even though I saw her, naked, in your apartment, only to turn around and kiss her on the dance floor in front of me?"

His eyes widened, complete shock effusing over his face at her words, and then as her fist rammed itself into his chest. But, instead of pulling it back, her hand stayed there – on his left breast, like it was magnetically drawn to him, the laws of physics preventing its return. Beth's eyes shot to his, flaring with anger at her body's reaction to him.

" _How dare you come here and make me remember just how desperately I need you – how desperately I lo–"_ He caught her hand as it raised to strike him again, his other hand clamped on her waist, pushing her back against the wall as his mouth crushed hers, cutting off the last of her words.


	15. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

As soon as his lips touched hers, no doubt to shut her up, Beth felt her burning anger disintegrate into flaming desire. His kiss pulled every overwhelming emotion from her, and she let it; she poured everything she felt into that kiss and he took it all. Even though he'd kissed her, as soon as she began to take over, he let her; he let her tongue invade his mouth, searching for his to duel with. He let her consume every last space and breath in her search for answers within his kiss.

Beth felt herself wedged between the hard wall at her back and the hard wall of Darcy against her front. She felt his desire, and unlike with Colin, she wanted him to take him – _to take her._ Everything had gotten so complicated, but this, this was simple. Desire and passion – they were simple. Her hand moved up from his chest, her arms locking around his neck, pulling herself closer into the fire of desire that she hoped would burn every other sensation from her body; she craved the physical and mental release that she knew only Darcy could give her.

 _That he wanted to give her._

She felt his restraint slipping with every brush of her tongue against his. She felt his erection pressing – _throbbing –_ against her stomach. _And she wanted to know that she still had that control over him._

Suddenly, he was gone – his lips, his kiss, his body, his hands – _everything;_ every sensation came to a screeching halt as Darcy pulled back and stepped a solid three feet away from her. It was like she'd been held under water and was now just coming back up, gasping for the oxygen that was reality. Beth stood, gulping for air; the three feet between them might as well have been three miles.

She swallowed hard, embarrassment flooding through her for her words, and her actions. Finally, she looked up at him, expecting to see the stone-cold mask that always seemed to make it back into place after he so easily distanced himself from his desire for her. This time, he looked as tortured as she did – hurt and desire mingled in his eyes; his body _clearly_ still on fire for her, his breath coming out in hard pants as his hand rested on desk in the room to support himself.

She felt heat rising to her face, tears of humiliation threatening to boil over.

"I'm sorry," she whispered thickly, "I need to go." She abruptly turned back towards the door, when she heard his low, pleading voice.

"Beth, please," he rasped, "I need to talk to you. Please." Her brow furrowed, part of her wanting – needing that talk, the other part afraid to hear that she'd just thrown herself at a man who no longer wanted her.

Leaning against the wall, Beth bit her lip and sighed in resignation, "ok, let's talk." She could see the relief that came over him, the tension dropping from his shoulders.

"Thank you," he began, his voice firmer and more confident, as though he'd been waiting – practicing for this moment. "First, I want to apologize for the things that I said – how I treated you that night." His jaw flexed with the anger he held for himself over his behavior.

 _Could she really be hearing this? An apology? In words?_

"I was in shock and I felt betrayed, and while those are my reasons, they are no excuse for the way that I spoke to you; after everything that we had been through, after everything that you have put up with me for…my past, my behavior…God, I'm such a fucking ass for throwing it back in your face like that." He turned away from her, violently running his hands through his hair.

"I stopped, you know," Beth said quietly, the need to explain herself bubbling over. "She did ask me to keep her updated on what you were doing in town and if you had a significant other; in the beginning, I agreed because well, let's face it, you hardly said anything to me anyway, what information could I possibly give her?" Darcy's eyes fell on her again, regret glimmering in their molten depths. "But, when everything between us…started…I stopped. I think the last thing that I told her was that you were coming to our charity gala and weren't bringing a date – to which Mrs. DeBourgh responded, inviting herself and Anne, and telling me that Anne was your date," Beth stopped to laugh, remembering those events that seemed like a million years ago now.

"Beth," he groaned, "you don't need to explain yourself; I believe you. I fucking believed you that night when I confronted you, but I was too fucking angry to see it. I was angry that I had to find out from _them,_ but, God, I never truly believed that you had been spying on me the whole time."

"I see…" Beth whispered, staring at the man in front of her who was, at the same time, the Darcy she knew, but yet, a Darcy she didn't.

"I don't expect you to be able to forgive me. Fuck, you moved hours away because of it, so I know that an apology five months later probably means nothing, but I needed you to know that what I said wasn't true; I need you to know that I still needed you."

 _Needed. Past tense._ Beth swallowed over the anger rising in her throat.

"Needed me?" she asked incredulously, "How can you say that? How can you say that you needed me when you left me to walk straight back into Caroline's claws?" She wiped away the stray tear that fell down her left cheek.

Darcy stared at her for a second, complete confusion wiping off the regret from his face. "What are you talking about? I never went back to Caroline."

"God," Beth laughed sarcastically, "I'm such an idiot; here I am, thinking that you truly apologizing, and you don't even have the decency to not lie to me anymore. What is this? What purpose does it serve to lie to me now? Who are you trying to control?" she continued asking, hysterically. "I can't. I have to go – this was a mistake."

She turned to leave, her face almost running straight into his arm as he put his hand on the wall next to her, blocking her path to the door.

" _What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Talking. About?"_ his voice was deadly low and on edge.

The sharpness of his tone cut through the remaining barrier that she had left, tears beginning to stream freely down her face. "You left me; you told me it was over between us and, even after everything she put you through, after everything she put me through, you brought her to your apartment that night and slept with her – like I never mattered," she bit out, trying to speak without sobbing.

" _FUCK,"_ he swore vehemently. "Did Jane tell you? I'm going to kill Charles."

"What are you talking about? Don't try to lie your way out of this. No one told me – I saw it for myself. I saw you… _I saw her… there… naked._ I. Saw. Her."

Beth gasped as Darcy's hands grasped both sides of her face, forcing her gaze to his; her tears stopping short at the forceful movement.

"Beth, I swear to you, I did not sleep with Caroline that night…or any night since I've met you. Hell, I haven't touched her – willingly – since she left me. _Fuck."_ His forehead came down to rest on hers, his eyes closing as she caught the barest glimmer of moisture in them. "I didn't sleep with Caroline, Beth, I promise you. I didn't even stay at my apartment that night; I went and stayed with Charles – he can tell you."

She held her breath, hardly believing that it could be true. "Then why was she there – naked?"

"God fucking help me if I know," he laughed bitterly. "All I know is that I showed up the next morning, _with Charles,_ to find Caroline in my apartment, naked and waiting to ambush me – although she was thoroughly surprised when her brother walking in right behind me…"

"You didn't… you weren't…" Beth couldn't even finish, those deeply buried memories surfacing to see if what he was saying could be true.

 _She hadn't seen Darcy there or heard him, she hadn't seen his clothes,_

"All this time…" she whispered in shock, her heart aching for everything that she'd left, all on an assumption. Every wall of wrath that she'd built around her heart, trying to convince herself to hate him for what he did disintegrated the second she realized their foundations were a lie.

"I'm sorry, Beth. I'm so fucking sorry," his voice wavered, now knowing the truth in why she left and what she'd thought of him these past few months. "God, if I had known that you saw... I explained everything to Charles and I made him swear to me to never tell Jane because I didn't want you to know that she'd come there right after everything I had said to you. I wanted to apologize to you for what I said, but when we went to Jane's apartment, she said you were already gone…" He paused to catch a shaky breath. "Maybe, if I had just told Jane…" He couldn't even finish, but Beth knew where he was going; _maybe if Charles had told Jane, Beth wouldn't have left New York._ "I thought you left because of what I said; I thought I'd finally gone too far and broken whatever remained between us…"

"I'd already forgiven you for that; that's what I came to see you that morning," she whispered regretfully, finding it difficult to breathe with how much her heart ached. His thumb brushed the last, lone tear that trickled down her cheek; the subtle movement jarring her more recent memory, puzzlement spreading onto her face. "Why did she kiss you tonight?"

His jaw clenched again at the obviously distasteful reminder. "Because it was the first time she's seen me in months; she wanted to change my mind on the restraining order."

Her breath caught. "Are you getting one?" she blurted out.

"I already did – the day Charles and I found her at my place," he said softly. "I told him everything, and how we had talked about the restraining order before, but with the wedding… He didn't want to hear it; he took me, and Mrs. Grace, whom she threatened to let her in, down to the station himself to file; Charles was livid." His eyes closed painfully, remembering how much the act had hurt his friend.

"But how…"

"Charles was furious, he said he didn't care – that he wouldn't invite her to the wedding because she'd gone too far. Jane talked him down – 'Caroline is his sister'. So, I told him that I would be ok with her being there, that I wouldn't report it if that's what he wanted to do."

Beth let out a shaky laugh, "Of course, Jane… ever the optimist, even when her sister-in-law is pure evil."

"I couldn't ask more from Charles, after everything that he's done for me…" Darcy trailed off as if there was more going on, but needed to finish telling her about what happened with Caro to absolve himself. "I was not expecting…that…from Caroline tonight. I can't believe she approached me in front of everyone, where Charles could see; she's so fucking insane. I tried to handle it discreetly – it's her brother's goddamn wedding for fuck's sake and she couldn't show just a little bit of respect." He paused again, one hand moving to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Charles followed us in there, and then went in search of his parents who told her to leave, that she was no longer welcome."

 _So, that's what had happened._

"I see…" she murmured. Beth felt like her eyes had been opened directly into the bright sun after being in the dark for so long. The truth was bright, and burning, and painful, and she found herself trying to blink through the discomfort because at some point in the future, it would feel better than living in the dark.

" _God, Beth,"_ Darcy rasped, his hand returning to her cheek, his thumb gently rubbing the soft skin of her cheek. "I never wanted her - _never,"_ he finished firmly, lifting her chin so that she could meet his equally emotional gaze – a gaze that no longer contained any sadness or regret, only an unwavering and potent desire. " _All I ever wanted was you…"_

 _In that moment, she knew that the past four months had done nothing to heal her heart from what she thought had happened – what either of them thought had happened. She needed Darcy; she needed to be with him – maybe not forever, maybe only for tonight; maybe as a beginning or maybe as the beginning of her closure on his chapter in her life._

 _After realizing the truth about their devastating misunderstanding, releasing the desire that hadn't left either of them was the only way to continue to heal the brokenness that should have never been inside of her._

 _He had wanted her, but did he still…_

She felt like she couldn't breathe, watching him, waiting for him to make a move and decide their fate. His eyes bored in to hers, searching in their depths for the truth in her words – whether she could possibly mean them.

That second or two felt like an eternity. She could see – _and feel_ – his desire for her growing, his restraint fracturing exponentially with every second that passed.

"Beth Bennet," Darcy said, his voice hard and hoarse, "if you don't walk out that door right now, I will have you and I will have you so fucking hard because I've thought of nothing and no one else since the day that you left."

She met the challenge in his eyes, standing unflinchingly as his need flared in his eyes and burned right through her.

"So then take me because I don't think I'll ever feel whole again until you do," she whispered; she could feel the tension beating around them in time with the hammering of her heart. The thuds slowed, coming to a halt, as Beth held her breath.

His lips came slowly down to hers, giving her one last chance to run. Instead, she raised herself up on her toes, pressing her lips against his, needing to escape the walls she'd built around herself.

 _The truth set their desire free._


	16. Chapter 14

*Warning: Steamy Scenes Dead Ahead!*

Chapter 14

Beth felt herself jammed up against the wall as his lips took hers. The hardness at her back was nothing compared to the hardness of the man in front of her. Her arms linked around his neck, trying to press herself even closer against the source of her need. His tongue delved into her mouth, conquering every corner of the sweet warmth hidden inside.

"I can't…go slow…" he said hoarsely into her mouth. "Too long…" The dam of Darcy's desire had broken, and Beth knew her lips, at the very least, would be bruised in the morning. His torso was on fire, everywhere she touched felt like a furnace.

"I don't want you to," she gasped back, wedging her hand down his hot, naked chest to grasp the hard ridge of his erection through his pants.

" _Fuck."_ His hips jerked back away from her teasing touch. "Can't handle that right now," he rasped.

Beth felt herself suddenly released to stand on the floor as Darcy dropped to his knees. His hands roughly gripped the edge of her dress, lifting it up to her chest. "Hold this," he said harshly, too focused on his goal to even look up.

Her shaking hands gripped the soft material as his took ahold of the soft flesh of her ass, pulled her forward as he placed an open-mouthed kiss over her lace-covered core. Beth gasped, almost losing her balance, forgetting just how powerfully overwhelming the desire between them was.

"I need you ready for me," he whispered against her, his right hand slipping her underwear off to the side of her folds, exposing her to him. " _Fuck."_ She barely heard it before his mouth and tongue were on her.

Thank God, both hands had returned to grip her ass and give her some support to stand. The first swipe of his tongue through her folds and over her clit had Beth seeing stars. And he didn't give her any reprieve. Over and over again, he tormented the swollen bud, his tongue darting inside of her, tasting her rising desire.

Beth felt her legs buckle, just before her back was again pressed against the wall, and Darcy's hands raised her legs, one at a time, to rest on his shoulders, eliminating any strength or will that she needed to remain upright, and giving him more open access to her core.

Her head tipped back against the wall, her hands (forgetting about holding her dress) shoved themselves into his hair, pulling his head – _and mouth –_ tighter against her. Pleasure seared through her, her body remembering the exquisite climb to release that she'd ignored the past several months. It quickly climbed the path, craving the complete combustion that the finish promised.

She moaned, her head beginning to shift side to side as her pleasure built.

" _Darcy…"_ she moaned, knowing she was so close to the edge. He heard her, and he was too on edge to torture her any longer.

His right hand moved again from underneath her ass and he pushed three fingers inside of her, his tongue flicking rapidly over her clit, as Beth splinted around him, moaning as her hips flexed against him, her inner muscles clenching in release.

His mouth stayed on her long enough to not let her come crashing down. Just as the fog of pleasure began to clear from her eyes, she felt his hand leave her briefly to finish undoing his pants. He stood roughly, her legs falling to the side of him as he grasped the backs of her thighs, spreading them wide, pressing her flush against the wall as he thrust himself completely inside of her with a yell.

" _Christ,_ you are so fucking hot and tight," he whispered harshly, taking a few breaths to control the rampant desire that surged when he sheathed himself inside her contracting passage. "I'm sorry…" he groaned, before he began to pound uncontrollably into her.

Beth gasped, feeling her lower back hit the wall again and again with the force of his thrusts. Her orgasm that had been subsiding, quickly reversed directions; the feel his thickness inside of her, pressing into her very center, had her release building again. She moaned over and over, unable to move her hips under the grip of his hands.

Every muscle in his body was taut as Darcy pulled and plunged into her over and over, taking her, claiming her. This wasn't gentle or remorseful or loving after what happened and all their time apart; this was raw, unfettered need that had been locked away and only she had held the key to its release.

Beth felt another orgasm overtake her and she screamed his name, her vision going dark, the only sensation she could feel was the shattering desire around his throbbing erection as he thrust inside her one more time, joining her in her release. She thought he yelled her name, but everything was a blissful blur as their climax overtook them; Darcy continuing to thrust, much more gently, into her as his release continued to coat the convulsing walls of her core.

His forehead fell to her shoulder as their breathing tried to replenish the oxygen that had been burned out of their system with desire.

" _Holy fuck,"_ he whispered.

Beth let out a shaky laugh, the slight movement pressing her definitely bruised back against the wall; she grimaced.

"Shit," he groaned, "I'm sorry. I'm such a fucking savage."

"Don't," Beth shushed him, "don't ruin this."

He looked up to meet her gaze. "It's been too long, I couldn't help myself." The look in his eyes told her, just as much as his uncontrolled need, that he hadn't slept with anyone or had any type of physical release since she had left.

His jaw clenched, as he pulled himself out of her. Beth caught her breath at the loss. Her dress falling down to cover her as though nothing had happened; Darcy on the other hand, had his pants and boxers around his waist, and his still very hard and wet erection stood proudly pointing at her.

 _What happens now,_ she wondered.

Her eyes flicked to the door, _maybe she should go._

"Don't even think about it," his hard voice responded. "You had your chance, now you are mine for the night, and gorgeous, I'm nowhere near done with you." The promise in his voice sent brand new shivers of desire through her. His erection thickened in agreement with his words.

"So, then what's next?" she whispered shakily, afraid to move from against the support of the wall.

He took a split second to respond before nodding back behind her, his eyes glimmering with promise. "Shower."

Beth felt a hot flash sear through her body, remembering the last time they had showered together. She watched as he stepped out of his pants that were crumpled on the floor, nodding again at her to go into the bathroom. She shivered in anticipation, following his silent command, and walked onto the tile of the large bathroom floor, stopping in front of the shower. Darcy moved around her to slide open the glass door and turn the water on.

She turned to look at herself in the mirror, her mouth parting in shock at what she looked like – make-up half removed, hair a complete mess, bobby pins everywhere, and skin flushed with pleasure.

 _Yeah, shower was only going to help this situation…_

Darcy came up behind her, the desire in his dark eyes contradicting everything that she was currently thinking about herself. She watched as his hands came up to slowly and gently remove the bobby pins from her hair, gradually releasing the trapped locks. Beth sighed softly - the relief of the pressure from having her hair pinned up all day sending shivers down her spine.

 _Oh, no, that was just the gorgeous, naked man standing behind her, ready to pleasure her again._

Once all of it looked like it had been left down, Darcy ran his hands through it, making sure there weren't any more pins hidden within; then, his hands moved to her scalp, gently massaging the tingling skin. She heard a moan escape her as her eyes closed, her head falling back again his shoulder; _it felt so good._

One of his hands trailed down her neck, over her back, to the top of the zipper of her dress, grabbing it and sliding it all the way down to her ass where it ended; her dress sagged around her, the lacey sleeves falling off of her shoulders.

" _Let it go,"_ he whispered in her ear.

Moving her arms just slightly away from her sides, the dress floated to the ground around her, leaving her naked except for her thong that was still pushed off into the crease of her thigh.

Beth felt his cock lengthen against her back, her eyes opening to see his staring hungrily at her in the mirror. They both watched as his hand snaked around her front to grab ahold of her swollen breast. Darcy groaned as he cupped the firm, familiar weight, kneading the sensitive flesh. Unable to stop himself, his right hand left her head to the left, both toying with firm swells of her breasts.

Her eyelids fell heavily as she moaned, pressure building deep inside of her again. His fingers then focused on her nipples, the erect peaks aching for attention as he pinched and toyed with them. She moaned again, pushing her chest further into his hands.

His left hand splayed across her chest, firmly pressing her back completely flush against him. Her skin burned with the heat from his; she knew how on edge he was, his body completely taut with restraint, hardly moving or breathing except to pleasure her. With his left hand remaining firm on her chest, his right slid confidently over the soft skin of her stomach to the very center of her still left exposed from her underwear.

He fingers easily slipped between the slick folds to find her aroused clit. They moved deftly over the nub, toying with the nerves as her hips tried to press against his hand begging for more. He teased her, watching her rising pleasure in the mirror, even as it steamed, hearing her soft moans become louder and more frequent.

Just when her hips began to vibrate uncontrollably against his hand, his fingers stopped; both hands moved to firmly grasp her hips as he turned them around.

"In the shower. _Now,"_ he rasped harshly behind her.

She slid the shower door open and would have stumbled inside if not for his hands supporting her hips. Beth knew the water was hot because the whole bathroom was steaming, but when she stepped underneath it, it almost felt cool compared to her body which was still struggling to regain equilibrium after being pulled back from the edge of her orgasm.

She tried to turn to face him, but his hands tightened on her hips, preventing all but her head from turning. Beth stared into his delicious chocolate eyes, wondering what he had in store next.

"I'm going to be inside of you," he whispered, reading her thoughts, "while I wash you." Beth felt her knees go weak, the thought alone almost enough to make her come.

His hand moved to gently press on her back, tipping her forward into the steady stream of water, thoroughly wetting her hair while thoroughly exposing her wetness to him and his waiting cock. She'd just moved her hands to push her wet hair off of her face when she felt his hardness enter her from behind. Gasping, her hands shot out to the sides of the shower for support as he heard him groan deeply, pushing himself completely inside of her.

For a second, neither of them moved, both acclimating to the rush of pleasure that swept through them; their heavy breaths competing with the rush of water for which was under more pressure.

Slowly, his hand moved from her back over the flat plane of her stomach to bring her back up against him. Dumping shampoo into his hands, he quickly lathered them before spreading his fingers into her hair, continuing his pleasurable massage of her scalp that he'd abandoned earlier; this time, each shiver that went down her spine was only exaggerated by the fullness of his erection buried inside of her, waiting to erupt.

Beth heard his harsh breathing as each tremor caused _all_ of her muscles to quake, especially the ones around him. His fingers paused amidst her hair, trying to regain his control, before combing them through one last time.

"Lean forward," he said, his soapy hands moving to her waist to tip her forward, allowing the stream of water to wash the shampoo from her hair. Once all the foam seemed to disappear, she stretched back up against him.

Reaching around her, Darcy grabbed a washcloth, holding it with one hand under the water to wet it while his other hand came up to toy with her breast again.

"Any chance you can you put some soap on that for me, gorgeous?" he asked softly, biting her earlobe as he spoke.

Her gasp turned into a moan as she arched into his hand. The tease of his fingers stopped, waiting for her to comply. In a daze, she took the washcloth and as she bent forward to grab the soap, she made sure to arch her back, pressing her ass even closer against him, allowing him to slip a little further inside of her.

" _Christ,"_ he groaned, his hands gripping her hips, momentarily losing control as he pumped into her two times, giving in to the pleasure, before he stopped himself once more. "You're going to pay for that, minx," he promised.

She completely forgotten the washcloth for those few seconds as the tip of his cock caressed that tender spot deep inside of her, the friction bringing her right back to the edge of the climax she desperately craved.

Somehow, she managed to lather up the washcloth for him, eyeing it greedily as she handed it back to him for what it promised to do to her. Darcy took the cloth and began to lather the soap onto her shoulders, working down one arm and then the other. His hands paused on her shoulders, gently massaging the tense muscles briefly before his arms slipped underneath hers and around to the front of her. Beth trembled as her breath caught, the cloth brushing lightly over her taut nipples, sending sparks through her body.

Slowly, tortuously, he began to caress and cleanse her breast; his empty hand moved to cup her other breast, playing with the sensitive bud. Beth moaned and arched her chest into his hands and her hips back against him. She knew that the torture she was experiencing was transferred to him as every moan, every shiver of desire, reverberated into her core and onto his cock.

The washcloth switched hands, making sure that both of her breasts received equal attention and care. Her head fell back against his shoulder as the soft, slightly abrasive, yet definitely arousing texture of the cotton swirled over the tender skin of her stomach and down between her thighs where her center was throbbing with need.

Beth's hips jerked back against him at the first brush of the fabric over her core, her inner muscles flexing, retaliating against the pleasurable torture. Darcy's mouth descended onto her shoulder and neck, biting and sucking as his cloth-covered fingers began to massage the sensitive nub that ached for release. And whether it was out of concern for her or himself, this time, he gave it to her.

" _That's it, gorgeous, come for me again, let me feel you,"_ he whispered against her cheek, his voice as coarse as the fabric he expertly and relentless massaged over her clit, bringing her effortlessly to the release her body had been begging for.

Beth yelled his name into the steady stream of the water from the shower.

He groaned, his hand grasping her hip so hard that she'd probably have a bruise there in the morning, too, as he tried to stay still while her core tightened around him, massaging the throbbing length of him buried completely inside of her. Every part of him was frozen, trying to remain in control of his release as he enjoyed the fruits of hers; even his hand holding the washcloth had become paralyzed over her swollen center as she jerked around him.

Darcy exhaled out harshly between clenched teeth, taking one last deep breath, relishing in the slowing waves of her climax, before finally going in search of his. With a grunt, he pulled his hips back, sliding completely out of her, eliciting a whimper from her lips.

The washcloth fell to the floor as he spun her around, his hands on the back of her thighs as he lifted her up by her legs, hooking them around his waist and allowing himself to slide back into her waiting warmth.

 _"Fuck,"_ he moaned, spinning them to push her back up against the cold tile; Beth couldn't tell what was more shocking to her senses, the cold of the tile, or the heat from him.

As soon as her back touched the cold slabs, Darcy began to thrust into her, all restraint gone. The friction of his hard and hot cock sliding in and out of her sensitized passage pushed her body back up the climb to another climax; there was no stopping it.

" _Darcy,"_ she moaned his name over and over again, it coming out faster and faster as his thrusts became more and more urgent.

" _That's it baby,"_ he said, his voice breaking each time he rammed further into her. " _I want to feel you come again; I want you to take me with you."_

Beth screamed, her fourth orgasm ripping through her, Darcy's following along right afterward with a shot; the hot stream of his release washing the inside of her. He kept pumping into her, his climax lingering for several minutes.

Her body was trembling by the time he slowed, her muscles completely slack with satiety and exhaustion.

"I forgot how it could be," she whispered in awe.

 _That was a lie, she'd tried to forget; how could she have forgotten this?_

"I didn't," he said gruffly, his mouth dropping down to claim hers for a deep, yet tender, kiss.

"I don't think I can stand," Beth whispered against his lips.

"Don't worry, I'm not letting you go," Darcy replied. Her breath hiccupped at the sincerity of his tone as she ducked her head into his shoulder.

Holding her steady, he pulled out of her, gently setting her feet down onto the ground, but keeping one arm firmly wrapped around her waist, holding her against him. His other arm reached to grab another washcloth off of the rack in the shower. Doing his best to wet it with one hand, he ever-so-gently touched the fabric between her swollen folds.

Beth sucked in a breath as even the lightest touch on her tender, well-used flesh was exquisitely sensitive. Carefully, Darcy washed away what remained from his orgasm and hers from the both of them before dropping the cloth onto the ground next to the first one and shutting off the shower.

Sliding open the door, he grabbed a towel with his free hand, still making sure he was supporting her with the other.

"I think I'm ok now," she said lightly, with a smile, having regained her sea legs after that storm of sensuality.

He eyed her carefully, unsure whether to believe her, but finally deciding to. Stepping out of the shower, Darcy grabbed a towel, hardly drying himself before he picked up a second to take care of her.

She stepped out of the shower and managed to remain upright. _Success._

Instead of handing her the towel, he opened it and began to tenderly brush it over her moist skin, soaking up all the water on her. She'd almost survived that; as soon as the towel brushed over her nipples, her knees buckled.

Just as quickly, the towel was on the floor and Darcy had swept her up into his arms, a frown spreading over his face.

"Sorry, I thought I was ok," she murmured, a blush creeping up over her face.

"Mmhmm," he replied, and she could have sworn she saw a smile about to break over his face when he unceremoniously dropped her onto the soft comforter of the bed.

She let out a small shriek. "Darcy!" she exclaimed, looking up at him to now definitely see a smile gracing his gorgeous face; a smile that quickly faltered and faded as he took in her completely naked form sprawled over the white bed.

"You looked gorgeous tonight," he said, continuing to stare at her.

"Thank you," she murmured, watching his eyes darken before he abruptly turned, walking back into the bathroom. Her head turned towards the nightstand as she heard his phone buzz twice, before Darcy returned, reclaiming her attention with a towel tied around his waist and one in his hand, holding it out for her to take, presumably to dry her hair since everything else was mostly dry at this point.

 _Although, certain areas seemed to be getting wetter by the moment._

"Thank you for everything that you did for Jane, and for Lydia," she said, sitting up, bending her legs in front of her, taking the towel and beginning to pat the excess water from her hair.

"You don't have to thank me; it was the right thing to do," he said gruffly, uncomfortable with her recognition of his gratitude. "I haven't had that many people in my life, close enough to me, to be able to do things for them like this. Your family is always a concern to me, I will always consider them like family to me," he admitted, coughing slightly before continuing, "because Charles is like a brother to me, and now that he is married to Jane…"

Beth listened as his half-hearted justification for his actions trailed off. She ducked her head knowing that Charles and Jane was only a small part of the real reason for his actions.

"I take it Lydia talked to you?" he asked.

"Yeah," Beth sighed. "She's so different now, I can hardly believe it's her."

"Heartbreak will do that to you. And I'm sure being pregnant only makes the situation worse, too," he said gruffly, sitting down on the edge of the bed, near where her knees were folded.

"Is she ok?"

Darcy looked at her for a second before responding, "she will be. I saw this coming the first time I had to go out to Chicago after they moved…if you remember." Beth nodded. "Even then, I saw her changing. Marrying George definitely shattered her dreams of what her life would be life, but she's young, she'll still recover."

"If for no other reason than for the baby," Beth agreed.

"She's really good at her job though. I don't usually follow up on employees, but in this case, I wanted to make sure…"

"Yeah?" Beth asked with a smile, remembering how Lydia had talked about her job and feeling warmth spread through her that Darcy had been looking out for her youngest sister, even though she'd given him every reason not to.

"Is this the first time you've been back…since…" he trailed off – ' _since she left,'_ remaining unsaid.

 _Looks like it was only the rest of her family that he felt the need to check up on._

"Yes," she replied, looking away.

" _Fuck,_ Beth, don't," he said harshly, running his hand through his hair, "you don't know what I've been through to try and keep myself from looking into you, to make sure you were ok up there."

She could hear how tortured his voice sound and knew she was being petty and jealous for no reason; she'd left him.

 _For all the wrong reasons, too._

"What happened to us?" she whispered, her glassy eyes moving back to his.

"What didn't happen to us, Beth?" he asked, facetiously. "We're both quick to judge, quick to jump to conclusions, quick to jump into action." Beth nodded, his words wringing completely true with every obstacle that they'd faced. "I don't want to be quick about anything tonight," he continued, softly. "Tonight, you are all mine, and I don't care what it takes, I'm going to make time move so fucking slow tonight so that I can enjoy all of you – every inch that I've dreamt about these past five months."

Beth swallowed hard, thinking that the physical part of the night had come to an end; even though her body ached with exhaustion, the mere thought that there was more to come reignited the fire into every cell. She couldn't respond, she just stared into his darkening eyes as they roamed over her, still-naked form, even though she'd done her best to sit and hold her towel so that most things were covered.

"What are you thinking?" she finally asked, biting her lip, wondering what was in store next.

"That you taste exquisite when you come," he answered simply.

 _Well, that wasn't quite the question she'd meant to ask._

His answer had her sucking in air as she felt wetness surge from between her thighs onto the white comforter.

"Again?" she asked with breathless incredulity, still wondering just how far he was going to take this – _to take her._

"Gorgeous, I've thought of nothing else for months. There are so many ways I've dreamt about having you…the only way I'm going to stop fucking you tonight is if you physically restrain me," he growled. Beth could see the towel shift as his erection pressed against it.

"I wouldn't dream of it."


	17. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Beth met his hungry gaze, his eyes flaring at her words. She couldn't feel her limbs anymore, only the fire spreading through her veins waiting for him to make a move. With a mind of their own, her hand grabbed onto the towel that she'd draped over the front of her after soaking up the water from her hair; pulling it slowly away from her body, she dropped it onto the floor – all the while keeping her eyes locked with his.

Darcy's jaw clenched as she revealed her chest to him again; her breasts swollen and tender, yet still aching for more of his touch. His gaze traveled lower, but was blocked because her knees were folded and pressed tightly together.

He stood up from the bed and with a flick of his wrist, removed the towel from his waist, his erection springing up and out, eager to be inside of her again. Beth just stared at his gorgeous form, wondering how one man could look so good – _and be so aroused by her for the third time in less than two hours._

His eyes melted down over her from his position, but she didn't make a move, waiting – _wanting_ – him to take control.

"Spread your legs," he rasped, "I'm craving my favorite type of berry."

Beth bit her lip to stop a moan from escaping, remembering that night on his dining room table, as he ate fresh fruit from inside of her; wetness seeped from her core at the memory, begging to relive it. Trembling under his gaze, she did as he asked. Resting back on her hands, she lifted her knees up together before slowly spreading them apart, revealing her glistening folds to his burning gaze.

Beth watched as his mouth parted at the sight she presented him with, opening and offering her body to him.

" _You are so fucking beautiful,"_ he groaned, bending over to rest his hands on the edge of the bed by her feet. He just stared for a second before his right hand began to lightly trace its way up to her knee, down the inside of her thigh, to her core. He pushed one finger completely inside her and Beth struggled not to make a sound at the welcome invasion.

He pulled his finger back out and brought it to his mouth, licking every drop of her off of it.

" _Fuck,"_ he cursed, his hands diving under the soft flesh of her ass, grabbing and yanking her to the edge of the bed where he dropped to his knees, and dropped his head to her.

Beth gasped as his mouth closed over her sensitive core. His hands held her thighs open wide as his tongue delved between her folds, searching for the berry he'd been dying to taste.

Her arms shook for a second before she let herself fall back completely onto the bed, freeing her hands to find their way into his damp hair. Pulling his head tighter against her, the burning pressure building inside of her, she moaned his name as his tongue led her body over the familiar path to release. Her clit was so sensitive from her previous orgasms that it didn't take long before her hips were bucking against him, his tongue mercilessly teasing the soft bud until she came apart in his hands, her moan morphing into a scream as her body flexed in release.

His tongue gently lapped the warmth that gushed from her center, waiting until the waves of her orgasm slowed enough and her shaking fingers released the pressure they'd been putting on his head. Her hands fell to her side, her body completely limp and sated with pleasure, even though the potent thought burned in her mind that he wasn't done yet.

 _There was still more._

His mouth began to trail open-mouthed kisses up over the quivering skin of her stomach to where her breasts rose and fell with her attempts to replenish the oxygen depleted from her blood.

Taking each mound in hand, he licked his lips before descending onto one of the erect peaks, sucking her nipple into his mouth. Beth moaned at the torture, the electric shocks sizzling through her body, drawing more life out of her than she swore she had. Her body fought against itself, on the one hand, so exhausted from her orgasms, but on the other, aching to have the building pressure inside of her released again.

His mouth moved to her other breast, lightly biting on the taut peak before drawing it into his mouth.

" _Darcy,"_ she heard herself moan. " _I can't..."_ She felt like she wouldn't survive another orgasm, yet her body rushed towards that certain destruction.

His lips trailed up her neck to her ear. "You can, sweetheart," he whispered, "just one more time, you can."

She moaned in half-hearted protest as his lips took hers. The taste of her desire on his lips only enflamed her more. She arched against him, needing him again. Beth felt the head of his erection press and slide against her waiting entrance and heard him moan into her mouth.

He bit her lower lip as he pushed his swollen length completely inside of her, letting out a pained groan when he was finally, completely seated inside of her.

 _"Christ,"_ he gasped, releasing her lip, "I feel like I could come just from sliding inside of you."

Beth sighed at the sensation of being completely filled by him again, the heavy lids of her eyes opening to stare into the dark recesses of his. She wanted to wrap her arms around his neck, she wanted to arch against him, to urge him on, but her limbs felt like they had no strength left – every cell saving the last threads of its energy for one last release.

A tight smile broke on his face as he leaned down to kiss her again. "Just one more time, gorgeous." His voice broke as he pulled almost completely out of her before sliding back home again with a deep groan. Her mouth parted at the exquisite friction created inside of her. "One more time, beautiful," he repeated, sliding in and out of her again, quicker this time as his release became too imminent to control.

"Please," she begged breathlessly, her eyes falling shut again. The pleasure and pain of her impending orgasm on her overly-sensitized clit driving her body crazy.

"That's it baby, just one more time," he groaned, pumping into her faster and with more force, shaking the bed beneath them. "Let me feel you milk my cock one more time." One last thrust inside of her, brushing against her begging bud, combined with his hot words shattered her.

She screamed his name one last time – _or she thought she did, if she had that strength left._

Darcy collapsed on top of her, panting as his hips rode down the waves of his orgasm inside of her. Their heavy breathing fell into sync as they both floated back down to Earth.

Darcy tenderly kissed along her collarbone and up her neck; Beth was amazed she still had the strength to breath, every cell feeling like they'd given the last shred of their energy for her pleasure – and if she never moved again, she wouldn't complain.

After a minute, Darcy forced himself off of her, picking her towel up off the floor. She shuddered involuntarily as he wiped the stickiness of his release from her, the rawness of her skin making even the slightest touch painful, but even still, she was too tired to move even if she wanted to. She pulled her eyes open just as he began to wipe himself off, his erection still pretty solid, and she had a feeling that if she didn't look and feel like a corpse right now, he probably would have continued to pleasure them both.

Instead, he dropped the towel back onto the ground, kneeling on the bed he gently worked his arms underneath her, lifting to pull the comforter down and lay her tenderly underneath it.

Beth sighed when, instead of leaving as she thought he might, he climbed right in next to her, pulling her onto his warm, solid chest as his fingers gently rubbed up and down her spine.

"I don't know how you aren't completely exhausted," she murmured, feeling his chest rumble beneath her with his laugh.

"Because six years was nothing compared to five months without being inside of you," he replied, sending a shiver down her body.

"Mmmm," she sighed.

"Tell me you missed me, too," he whispered, questioning softly.

Beth sighed against his chest, her sleepy stupor removing all filters and coherent thought from her thoughts. "I missed you," she murmured. "But I just wished you were a better man." She didn't know if he responded, her mind faded to black as she succumbed to exhaustion.

 _God, that feels so good,_ Beth thought, moaning in her sleep. After all the passionate exertion before going to bed, she thought her dreams would be benign. Instead, she felt her hips pressing against softly persistent fingertips that were working her clit into a frenzy.

 _Darcy,_ she mumbled in her half-dream state, wanting more of him even though she knew he was sleeping too.

As if hearing her thoughts, she felt herself being entered from behind, the hard length of his erection burrowing deep inside of her, sending a searing pleasure through her body that shot her eyes wide open.

 _She wasn't dreaming. And neither was he._

She gasped, feeling his very real fingers swirling over her aroused nerves as he pumped his cock into her. From behind, the head of his erection hitting that tender spot of friction deep inside of her sending her into a sleep-hazed orgasm. Darcy followed her moments later, grunting, and she felt the pulsing of his erection as his warm release filled her.

His forehead pressed against her back as he murmured, "sorry, I needed you." His voice was hoarse from sleep and sex. Beth felt her heartrate returning to normal; Darcy's breathing slowed, his moments stopping, as he slipped relatively easily back into slumber still deep inside of her.

 _I want this. Always._

The thought startled her almost more than the sleep-sex had. Realizing she had to pee, Beth gently extricated herself from him, shivering as she got out of the warm bed, and the even warmer body still in it. Wondering what time it was, she hit the home button on Darcy's phone, the screen lighting up to reveal, _four AM._

It also showed that he had a missed call, voicemail, and several texts all from the same person – _Megan._

Her brow furrowed, _who was Megan?_ Was that who he was on the phone with the other day? She tried to swallow over the lump in her throat, realizing how dry her mouth now was. The previews of the two messages were visible on the screen,

- _Sorry I missed your call…_

 _-Call me in the morning…_

If she knew the code to unlock his phone, she would have been sorely tempted to use it. Instead, she hit the lock button to turn the screen off, and walked into the bathroom accompanied by her wandering thoughts.

 _He couldn't be in a relationship with someone, could he? There was no way he would have done those things with her tonight if he was, would he?_

She wished she knew; she also wished it wasn't four am, standing in front of the mirror, wondering if she was just making the same mistake over again. She could see that he had changed since she'd gone to Boston, but if tonight had proved anything besides their unquenchable desire for each other, it was that there were still secrets between them keeping them apart.

 _You know you had to do it. You know the bravest thing you ever did was run._

Beth splashed some cold water onto her face, grabbing the terrycloth robe from off of the back of the door and putting it on, covering up the part of her that would forsake everything to be with him. She walked back out into the bedroom, looking at the handsome man who, she was forced to admit, still had a firm grip on her heart. Even now, her body pulled towards him like a magnet, the force of wanting him – wanting to be back next to him.

 _Wanting him was like second-nature, even more so than breathing; it was practically impossible to resist._

Five months ago, she'd known they had to say goodbye – _known it like the back of her hand_ – now those reasons, those assumptions, seemed to evade her. She'd left in anger and instead of working through her issues, she'd buried them under a shield of hurt. She'd let her emotions control her and even though, at the time, it had seemed justifiable, it hadn't prepared her in the slightest to actually move on from her feelings for him.

Now that she knew the truth about why Caroline had been there that morning, now that all the anger she used as her last defense against him was gone, she needed to figure out for herself if saying goodbye was really the right thing for her or if forgiving him was; there were more issues between them than just Caroline and more important ones at that.

And being with him…near him…with a desire that overwhelmed her was only going to cloud her judgement. She wanted him; she wanted to get back into that bed and fall back to sleep with the anticipation that the next time she woke up it would be with him inside of her again.

 _But sex was not going to help her make the right choice in the long run, only space could do that._

Beth grabbed her clothes off of the floor, taking one last look at the handsome, naked man tangled up in the sheets; she shivered at the promise that this wouldn't be the last time she saw him like this. Making sure she had all of her things and that the sash to the robe was cinched tightly, Beth walked quietly out of his room and fled back to the safety of hers.

Sighing heavily against the door, Beth tossed her stuff onto the bed and walked into the bathroom, turning the shower on hot. She needed to clean up and get out of there – not back to Boston, _not yet._ She had to handle some things for Jane in the city first before her flight much later tonight, but the more distance she put between her and Darcy right now, the more time she had to process.

She dropped the robe and stepped into the steamy water. Now was not the time to relax though, she thought as she methodically rinsed her hair and washed her body, looking down at her naked form and wincing as the washcloth now tortured her sensitive flesh in a different way.

A few short minutes later, she was back out of the shower tossing on her trusted yoga pants and long-sleeve t-shirt. Throwing her dress haphazardly back into her bag, she gathered the rest of her toiletries, taking one last look through the room to make sure she hadn't left anything. Then, she turned to take one look out of the peep-hole to make sure Mr. Intolerable wasn't waiting on the other side.

 _No, she would have heard him by now if he was._

This time, she had a feeling he wasn't going to let her go so easily; this time, she knew she would be followed. She knew she had some time – Darcy offered to take Jane and Charles to the airport in order for them to take his private jet to their honeymoon. How long after that until he came looking for, she hadn't a clue; she just knew it was inevitable. She checked her phone for the time. _Five AM._

 _The five AM flee._ At least it wasn't midnight and at least she didn't have any glass slippers to lose along the way. _No, the only thing that she had that was prone to either being lost or shattered was her heart; and she preferred the former._

Opening the door, she stepped into hallway, walking determinedly down the hall and towards whatever hours of freedom she had left. Last time, she'd left because of him; this time, she left for herself. She needed time to process the truths that she'd learned without the distraction and influence of her desire for him.


	18. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

She turned the key, opening the door to her old apartment to be met with an unfamiliar sight; almost complete emptiness save for the few packed boxes littered on the tabletop and stacked along the walls. It no longer looked at all like the place she'd once thought of as home. Most of Jane's stuff had been moved, but she had asked Beth if she could take the last remaining boxes over to her and Charles' new home on the Upper East Side. Also, Beth had a few boxes of things that needed to be moved somewhere, and that somewhere was going to be her parent's house for the time being.

Setting her stuff on the floor by the door, Beth began to walk slowly through the space, memories returning to her from when they'd both lived here. She felt her breath hitch with the sudden onslaught of nostalgia as she stepped further into the bare space.

She remembered the time they'd tried to make home-made Chinese food, both so intent on following the recipe and yet their dinner had still turned out awful; it was how they'd discovered their go-to Chinese take-out restaurant. Her smile faded as the memory transformed to that of her and Darcy in the kitchen.

 _She didn't know how not to…_

Shaking her head, she walked further into the living room, intentionally searching for memories of her and Jane talking or playing games together, or drinking wine and watching movies. _Or talking about Darcy._

She'd let her defenses crack for a moment last night and suddenly everything about him came rushing back in, begging for her attention.

 _The high, her hurt, the passion, the pain – she remembered every little thing._

Her phone buzzed twice in her pocket and Beth felt her heart stop.

 _Already?!_

She'd assumed she'd have more time before he tried to contact her. No, actually she'd assumed that he would just somehow find her.

Swallowing over the lump in her throat, she pulled out her phone. Air rushed back into her lungs when she saw that the messages were from Colin.

 _Oh God, Col._

A wave of guilt washed over her, knowing that she'd led him to believe that they could work towards a new level in their relationship. It wasn't that she hadn't wanted to, because she truly had. Until she'd stepped into Darcy's room last night and he'd erased any thought she'd had of ever trying to love another man.

The notion startled her; _was Darcy really the only man that she ever wanted to love? Was that where all her 'time to process' was going to lead her?_

She opened up Col's messages.

\- _Morning sweetheart. Hope this doesn't wake you but I'm just boarding my flight. I had a great time this weekend, thank you for inviting me_ _J_

 _\- P.S. – I can't wait to see you…_

Beth locked her phone; anguish burned through her at the thought of having to let him down. He'd been such a good friend, such a rock to her over these past few months, and not only was she going to have to turn him down, but she would be doing it because of the man who had broken her heart, a heart that Col had helped her pick up the pieces of.

 _Not because of…but for; she would be doing it FOR the man who broke her heart because the stupid thing couldn't learn from its mistakes._

She'd respond to him later; he assumed she was still sleeping anyway.

Beth called a cab and then managed to get the boxes downstairs in only two trips. She had the cabbie stop at Jane and Charles' new place first, entering the key-code and dropping off Jane's stuff inside before asking the driver to take her to her parent's house. Staring silently out the window, she watched the achingly familiar scenery of the city passed by her.

 _She missed New York._

Boston was great, but it wasn't her city.

The cab stopped in front of her parent's home. Carefully balancing the boxes on top of one another, Beth made her way up the steps to the front door. Pulling out her keys, Beth let herself into her parent's home.

"Hello?" she yelled into the hall, propping the door open with one foot while she bent over to pick up the three larger boxes containing what remained of her things from her old apartment.

Setting them back down inside, she let the door close behind her, hearing faint voices in the distance.

 _Someone was home, but it wasn't her mother._

If Irene was here, she would have already set herself on Beth by now. She pulled out her phone to see that she had a missed call and a text from an unknown number; _Darcy._

 _\- You're running, gorgeous._

Beth huffed, her heart speeding up as she typed back her response.

~ _No, I just need space to think. I can't focus around you._

 _\- You weren't complaining last night. In fact, I wanted to talk, you wanted me to do other things with my mouth; things I would have loved to wake you up again doing._

She clenched her teeth as her knees went weak, crossing her legs as she felt the traitorous part of her body come alive at his words.

~ _Well, now I need to think and anything involving your mouth is not conducive to that._

Beth started as Lydia appeared at the end of the hall, walking out of the kitchen towards her. Well, more like waddling.

"Hey," Beth said lightly, "who all is here?"

"Just dad and I," Lydia responded, knowing Beth was only concerned about their mother being home. "You were up and out of there early today, is everything ok?"

"Yeah," Beth sighed, "I just…ah… needed some space to think about things."

"Things or men?" Lydia asked astutely.

Beth just looked at her sister, her expression conveying her answer. "I also had to pick up a few things from the old apartment to take over to Jane's new place and also some of my old stuff that I'm just going to store here for now."

"Gotcha," Lydia said as she reached down to pick up one of the boxes.

Beth quickly pulled it from her hands, holding it against her. "Don't even think about it, you know you can't be lifting things," she scolded.

"Oh, please, it wasn't that heavy." Lydia rolled her eyes, both of them turning at the sound of their father's footsteps approaching.

"Beth," Mr. Bennet sighed, a weary smile crossing his face, "I didn't know you were coming over today." His arms came around her as he kissed her cheek.

"Yeah," she said, "I was just telling Lydia that I need to store this stuff here just for the short term. I only brought a carry-on down and I don't really need any of it, so I'd rather not take it back with me."

"When do you leave?" her sister asked.

"Tonight." She watched as her father's eyes fell slightly at the news that she was leaving so soon.

"Let me just take these boxes upstairs and then we can sit and chat, maybe have a cup of tea like old times," Beth suggested, trying to cheer him. Her father nodded, trying to put a smile on his face.

"I'll be in my study."

Beth reached down and grabbed the boxes, heading upstairs as Lydia trailed behind her.

"If you won't let me help you carry them, I'm at least going to help you clear some space to store them," Lydia muttered, her breathing heavy with the effort it took to move her and her baby up the steps. "Just take them into my old room, I left so much stuff here mom won't even notice that there is more of it now…"

Beth didn't respond, too focused on trying to get the boxes to the second floor and down the hallway without sending anything crashing to the floor. Lydia awkwardly reached around Beth and her cumbersome stomach to open the door to her old room.

Once in Lydia's old room, Beth set the boxes down right inside the door with a sigh. Taking a look around the room that was what she would describe as an organized clutter, she turned back to her sister, "where should I put them?"

Lydia stepped around her, taking stock of the situation, before walking over to the closet and opening the doors.

"How about up there?" She pointed up to the only partially-filled shelf above the ladder rung.

Beth nodded, taking one box at a time and hoisting them up into the closet, closing the door when she was done.

"It looks like mom cleaned in here," Lydia mused.

"Well, I'm sure she wanted it to be presentable…in case of guests."

"Mmm."

"When do you go back?" Beth asked, watching her sister look nostalgically over the room that had belonged to a very different girl.

"Tomorrow. I took Monday off because I have a doctor's appointment in the afternoon anyway."

"Are you going to tell mom before you go?" Beth asked quietly, wondering how long her sister was going to try to hide the fact that she was going to be a single mom.

"I just told dad," Lydia responded, meeting Beth's eyes. "I haven't decided what to do about mom, if I should tell her or if maybe dad should, or if I should just wait."

Beth walked up and put her arms around her sister, feeling the weight Lydia carried on her shoulders emanate from her.

"It will be ok," Beth reassured her, pulling back from the hug to look her sister in the eyes. "I wish I could tell you with certainty that it's better just to tell her and get it over with, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be a good example at following my own advice."

Lydia chuckled, "I know. I'm going to tell her; dad thinks I should, too. I know how she's going to respond, so I'm prepared; I'll just remind her that at least she has Jane to fulfill her 'perfect daughter plans.'" She sighed and Beth knew that even though she'd said it as a joke, Lydia felt like she was letting their mother down. "But, this is my life, and I can't continue to live with George with the way things were. I don't know what's going to happen; I can't even think about getting a divorce from him right now. Not that I plan on going on dates any time soon," she paused, motioning to her growing stomach as the reason. "I just need to focus on the baby."

"Don't let mom get to you; above all her plans and schemes, she loves you and wouldn't want you to be unhappy, no matter how hard it can be for her to admit that when you don't do what she wants you to. You know if you need anything, you can always call me," Beth offered.

Lydia smiled in gratitude, "I know. I need to do this on my own; not just for the baby, but for myself."

Beth sighed, heading for the door as Lydia trailed behind her. "I know that feeling," she murmured, mostly to herself.

I think I'm going to take a bath, my feet are killing me after yesterday," Lydia said, stopping by the door to the bathroom on that floor. "Plus, it will relax me before mom gets home."

"Ok, I want to talk to dad and then I'm going to head out, so I don't know if I'll see you again before I leave." Beth embraced her youngest sister one more time, holding her tightly as she tried to give her whatever strength she possessed.

"Thanks, Beth, for being so understanding. I know I haven't been the easiest sister," Lydia murmured into her ear.

"Don't… you're my sister and I love you. Thank you for being there for me this weekend, too."

"Good luck with Darcy," she offered.

Beth let out a laugh, trying not to let the sudden urge to cry overcome her. "Why would I need luck? And why do you think I would need luck with him?" She said it lightly, trying to play down the relationship drama going on in her own life.

"Because, it's always been him," Lydia replied with that eerie sense of wisdom she somehow acquired. "I may be pregnant and emotional and fat, but I'm not blind."

Beth nodded, the tears threatening to fall. _Neither of them needed that right now._ Kissing Lydia on the cheek, Beth turned and headed for the stairs, yelling over her shoulder, "have a safe flight tomorrow, I'll talk to you soon!"

 _It wasn't a good-bye, it was a promise._

Coming home this weekend may have clouded may things, but it had made her relationship with Lydia much clearer and for that, she was grateful, she thought as she knocked lightly on the door to her father's study before entering.

Her dad looked up from the book he was reading, sitting on the couch by the unlit fireplace.

"Beth," he said warmly with a touch of sadness.

"Hey, dad." She walked over and sat down next to him on the couch, her head falling to the side onto his shoulder as his arm came around hers.

"I've missed you," he said, kissing the top of her head. "How's Boston?"

"It's good," she replied, before answering the question that he was really asking. "I'm good."

"Good; I've been worried…"

Beth pulled her head up off his shoulder, looking into his concerned eyes. "I know. I'm sorry for leaving like I did, but I had to."

"I guess I understand, I just wish there was something that I could do to help – or just something that I could do to bring you back, but that's just me being selfish," he finished with a small smile.

Her eyes fell to her lap. _Make Darcy a better man?_

"I don't know what happened, but I know whatever it was made a big impact on him, too, and I want to make sure that you knew that," Mr. Bennet continued, Beth's gazing rapidly returning to meet his, wondering how he knew who she was thinking about.

 _It's always been him;_ Lydia's words came back to haunt her.

"How do you know?" she wondered out loud.

"Because I saw his face when he realized that you were gone," her father admitted. "He came here, apparently having gone to your and Jane's apartment first, but no one was home since Jane had come here immediately after getting your note to let us know what was going on."

Beth listened, entranced. Now that she knew that Darcy hadn't left her for Caroline, she found herself desperate to know what had happened after he had kicked her out of his apartment and how he had found out that she'd left the city for good.

"He came here with Charles," Mr. Bennet continued, when it was clear Beth was impatiently waiting for more, "looking for you. Jane had just finished telling your mother and I what had happened and, well, you know your mom; she was somewhat in hysterics at that particular moment. And Jane, well, she was in the middle of consoling your mother. So, I pulled Darcy aside, in here actually, and told him bluntly that you had left the city, that you were ok, but that we didn't know where you had gone." He paused to sigh at the recollection. "If it wasn't so sad, the change on his face would have been comical. You know those Greek drama and comedy masks, it was like he went from one to the other – from hopeful to desolate."

Beth swallowed over the lump in her throat, turning to face him more fully as she pulled both legs up onto the couch, crossing them in front of her.

"I wished I could have told him more – and I think I may have even said those exact words to him, but the thing was I didn't know any more; that's all Jane had told us, and I think it was all that she knew anyway. I don't know Mr. Darcy all too well, but I've been around him enough that I think I can say confidently that I never thought I'd ever feel sorry for the man; but in that moment, I don't know if I've ever felt so sorry for someone in my whole life. He looked like I'd just ripped his heart right out of his chest."

"What did he say?" Beth was finally able to whisper.

"Nothing – at least at that point," he replied. "When I saw his reaction, I made him come sit on the couch – where you are sitting now – and I poured him some scotch because that was the only answer I had for him."

"I had to go, dad," she whispered, feeling the need to continue to justify her choice; not to him, but to herself.

"I know, sweetheart, I'm not saying you didn't. I just want you to know what it did to him."

"So, what did he say?"

"We sat for a few minutes, both drinking and trying to process. Finally, he uttered, 'it's my fault.' To which I responded that as a man, it is always our fault." A small smile teased her face at the way her father always attempted to lighten the mood. "That didn't quite cut it for him, as I'm sure that you can imagine. He said that 'it was his fucking fault' because he told you that it was over between you and that, not only did he never want to see you again, but that he'd insinuated that you had completely betrayed him. So, I told him very bluntly that that didn't sound like my daughter at all – which he said he knew; that he'd just been so angry that he'd lashed out, believing the worst before giving you a chance to explain, and it had cost him everything. And, for someone who probably has everything, or at least the money to buy it, he sounded completely destitute."

"What did you say?"

"I told him that betraying people wasn't like you – especially those you care deeply about, number one. I told him that I know absolutely nothing about his relationship with you, but I do know some things about you; I know how stubborn and independent you are. I know how driven you are to achieve your goals even at the expense of your own personal happiness. But, I told him, in spite of the truth in all of that, and the fact that those characteristics are the first that you would admit about yourself, the most important thing that I know about you is how big of a heart that you have."

Beth felt the tears bubbling to the surface of her eyes as her dad continued to talk.

"You are extremely loyal to your family and to those you care about; I see it when you defend Jane in front of your mother. I see it when you do whatever it takes to help Lydia even when she was being reckless and ridiculous. I've seen it when you stick up for Char even right to Mrs. Lucas' face. You are loyal to those you love. Maybe you see that as a weakness professionally, but I see it as one of your greatest strengths. But, more than that, I also see your desire to make other's happy, to justify your worth, when there is no need because no one ever thinks that you are lacking."

The tears began to fall.

"In school, you gave up so much to prove that you were the best in your class. And then when Phil hired you, you wore yourself down to the bone to prove that you deserved the job he gave you – which if you would admit it to yourself, you would know that Phil would never do you, or himself, the disservice of hiring you just as a favor to our family. Of course, you know how proud I am of you and, in spite of the crazy things that she says sometimes, so is your mother. I know how things are between you two, but she doesn't want you to be in a relationship because she doesn't value what else you've done with your life or because that's all she cares about; she wants you to find someone because there is more to life than professional success. For your mother, even though it is the opposite case, she knows what it's like to not have that balance – to only be invested in personal accomplishments, and how it eventually will leave you lacking," he paused, reaching over the end of the couch to grab Beth a tissue to wipe the tears that had begun to stream down her face. Handing it to her, he took her other hand and continued, "When we've been out with friends these past few months, you are the first person she brings up – not Jane and her wedding, not Lydia and hers; she talks about you and how successful you are that you were head-hunted to go work in Boston. She gives you a hard time about the personal stuff because she's afraid that if she doesn't, you'll end up alone and realize that you'd missed out on such a wonderful part of life."

"Oh, dad," Beth choked out.

"Even though you dispute it, I can see in your eyes that, whether you want it or not, you hate feeling like you've let her down. You work so hard because you hate the thought that you might be letting Phil down. And I told Darcy that what he said most surely made you feel like you had let him down – not just in what he thought you did, but mostly when he couldn't bring himself to give you the chance to explain," he sighed again, reaching to hand her another tissue. "I told him that if you left, and if I were a betting man, it was because you'd never really felt like you'd let anyone down before, and now, after what he said, you felt like you had."

 _If he only knew the truth._

 _Unless, what if that was the truth?_

The thought startled her.

Yes, she left in hurt and anger at seeing Caroline, but there were a thousand other ways she could have handled that. Yes, she'd gone over to Darcy's apartment with the full intention of trying to apologize for her actions and to forgive him for the words that he'd said in anger. But, was it the combination of both those things, hearing those accusations of spying come out of his mouth, knowing that what he thought of her was so low that he didn't even want to bother with her side of the story, and then cementing her failure by replacing her with the woman that she despised most.

 _Losing him had broken her heart. Feeling like it was because of a failure on her part had broken her._

"Oh, Beth, I'm sorry." Her dad's worried voice broke through her thoughts and she realized that she had begun to shake with the attempt to restrain her sobs. "I didn't mean to tell you that to make you cry, I'm sorry…"

She hiccupped trying to catch her breath and find her voice.

"No, please," she choked out, "I'm sorry. I'm ok. It's just…everything that you said…it's the truth. Please, I'm not…upset…with you. I want to know." She took another tissue from the box that he had set onto the couch. "Please…"

"The same hurt that I see in your face right now is what I saw on his that day, realizing how deeply he had hurt you," her dad continued, hesitantly.

"What did he say?"

"He said that you hadn't let him down, that he was the one who'd let you down – that he'd been letting you down this whole time you were together."

"He said that?" Beth asked in quiet astonishment. Darcy rarely admitted fault – even to her, but especially to someone he barely knew, like her father. Not that her father would hold it against him in any way, but it just wasn't Darcy's personality.

"He didn't just say it, Beth, he meant it. And he didn't say it to me, he said it to himself – like he was finally seeing himself and how he treats others, especially you, for the first time. I think it was an epiphany for him…I know it was." Mr. Bennet reached his arms around Beth and hugged her as the last of her tears fell onto his shoulder. "I know you'll figure it out; I just thought you should know before you head back."

"Thanks, dad," Beth whispered. She held onto him, needing his comfort for another minute – something that she'd sorely missed in Boston. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too, Beth," he replied, pulling back from her. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks," she said sheepishly, giving him a small smile before standing up and taking her pile of tissues over to the garbage can by her dad's desk.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Beth," he continued, "or him for that matter. But, mostly you; sometimes, the heart wants what it wants, even if rationally it makes no sense. Just look at your mother and I." Mr. Bennet concluded with a wry smile to which Beth could help herself but return.

"I know," she found herself admitting "I just wish he made it easier for me to be able to accept that."

"Well, love is not easy, that is for sure. I apologize if I ever gave you the impression that it was."

"No, no," Beth assured him, "I didn't think it would be easy, I guess I just didn't think it would be so complicated – no, not even that. I didn't think I would want something, or someone, who made me feel so complicated."

Her father stood, making his way over and giving her another hug. "Sometimes, life is complicated. Other times, we make life more complicated than it needs to be. Listen to your heart, decide what it is that you want and then work for it – just like you've done for everything else in your life; love is no different.

"Thanks, dad," she sighed into his shoulder and then stepped out of his comforting embrace before she found herself unwilling to return to Boston. "I should get going."

Her dad nodded, motioning her towards the door and following her out of the study. As they walked into the hall the front door opened to reveal Mrs. Bennet, Kat, and Mary.

"Oh, Beth!" Irene exclaimed, surprise written all over her face at seeing her daughter. "I thought you would have left by now." She set her bags down inside the door, knowing that her husband would be the one to take them upstairs for her. Meanwhile, Kat and Mary acknowledged their sister before heading to the kitchen to find something to eat.

"I'm on my way out," Beth explained, hoping that would still be the case…

"Oh, dear, that's unfortunate. I feel like I didn't get to talk to you at all this weekend. But, that Colin," she paused to sigh and dramatically fan herself. Beth rolled her eyes and truly wondering at times like this what her father saw in Irene Bennet. "What a dreamy gentleman. I'm so glad that you brought him to the wedding, he was such a hit with everyone."

 _Of course, he was…_

"Yeah, he is pretty great," she replied, trying to sound more enthusiastic about that than she was. Unfortunately, the only thing that she felt when she thought about Colin right now was the overwhelming sense of guilt for everything that had happened – not just between her and Darcy, but between her and him that had led him to believe that there would be more to come.

 _After last night with Darcy, and in spite of everything that she did feel for Col, it was nowhere near enough. With Darcy, even though there was every complication, there was no comparison._

This time, McDreamy just wasn't going to cut it.

"Well, I hope we get to see more of him soon – and more of you," she frowned, remembering that her daughter was leaving again and who knew the next time she would be back in town.

"I'll be back soon, mom," Beth offered weakly.

"Hmph."

She sighed in exasperation. Maybe it was the talk with her dad, maybe it was some of the relief she felt after hearing Darcy's confession last night, but she found herself feeling much more patient with her mother than usual, which is why she continued to press forward in their conversation.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was leaving, mom," she offered – a small olive branch to appease the woman who never seemed to be pleased with her.

Her mother looked shocked by her admission, momentarily speechless – which was saying something for Irene Bennet.

"That's ok, dear," she began kindly. "I just didn't expect it from you; you're always so rational and so thought out about everything – you and Jane. Lydia, as upsetting as it was, I could see the signs. You, I couldn't, but then again, I know that we aren't very close."

 _Well, what was she supposed to say to that? It was the truth._

"I'll try to act more rationally from now on…" she offered as a joke, trying to lighten the air.

"That's not what I meant," Irene huffed. "I meant that you leaving meant that something – or someone – must have hurt you so badly that for once your reaction was emotional and impulsive. Of course, you do what you have to do dear, but for a mother, to know that her child must be hurting that much to cause such a drastic departure from her normal character, it was very worrisome."

Beth bit her lip, her heart aching at the most real conversation her and her mother had had in a long time.

"And you know how I am with my nerves – you know how sensitive they can be…" Irene trailed off, also trying to make light of the situation even though her expression told Beth just how worried she had been about her.

"I'm sorry, mom. I was ok – for the most part. I just needed to leave. I'm sorry for not telling you, but, honestly, I barely knew myself."

"I know, dear; Jane told us – she kept us sane."

 _Thank God for Jane._

"She's good at that," Beth murmured.

"Ok, dear, well I'll let you get going. Don't be a stranger," her mom said, an attempt at a smile crossing her tired face.

"Thanks, mom. I'll be back soon, promise." She leaned in and hugged her mother – something that hadn't organically happened in a long time. "Love you."

"Love you, too, dear."

And before the waterworks started again, Beth picked up her overnight bag and darted out the front door into the crisp, refreshing air. She made it down to the curb, her mind in a complete daze from it all – Darcy, Lydia, her father, her mother. Everyone was different, yet still somewhat the same. It seemed like her relationship with everyone was changing – all for the better, or at least most, but it still didn't seem like it could be happening. It took a minute for the cars passing by her to creep through her tumultuous thoughts and remind her that she needed to call a car to take her to the airport.

Pulling out her phone, she saw that she had two messages from Darcy, remembering where she'd left their conversation before when Lydia had approached her. She sighed, sliding open the screen and calling an Uber before giving in and opening up Darcy's messages.

\- _You can tell yourself that you aren't running from me, gorgeous, that you just need space; but the truth is that you are trying to outrun yourself and how you feel about me and I can tell you right now that you won't get very far. Trust me, I've tried._

A few minutes passed, probably while he waited for a response that never came, before he texted her again.

\- _Last time, I didn't deserve you. This time, I'm different; I've grown and I'm not letting you go._

Beth swallowed, her heartbeat picking up its pace, knowing that he meant it; he would come after her this time. How he had changed, she wasn't sure; maybe just from the emotional trauma of leaving and then losing her, but that seemed like a stretch.

 _She'd find out at some point._

After talking with her dad, she heard the truth in Darcy's words. As much as she blamed her needing space on him and the ease with which she let herself become completely distracted and borderline irrational around him, it was really her own emotions that she was trying to hide from. It was her feelings for him that she was trying to flee from and if she wasn't around him, it was easier to pretend they didn't exist; it was easier to rationalize that they couldn't exist or why they couldn't exist or why they _shouldn't_ exist.

 _Except she didn't want to pretend anymore._


	19. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Beth had half-expected to run into Darcy at the airport, or on her flight, or to find him waiting for her at her tiny apartment when she arrived back in Boston. But he hadn't been at any of those places, no matter how much she looked for him.

Unlocking the deadbolt and doorknob, she flipped on the light in her tiny space and dumped her bag onto the floor as soon as she crossed the threshold, locking the door behind her. Sagging against it for support, she sighed deeply.

 _Finally, a moment completely to herself. Alone._

Her back pocket buzzed. Groaning, she pulled out her phone to see a message from Col saying that he hoped she'd had a good flight and he couldn't wait to see her tomorrow.

 _She was too tired for this – and that's what her excuse would be tomorrow for why she didn't respond to him._

Pushing off against the frame, she grabbed her bag again and traipsed the few steps it took to make it into her bedroom; _the one nice thing about a tiny apartment – she was never too far from being able to collapse into bed._

She brushed her teeth and barely shed her clothes before climbing underneath the welcoming sheets, sighing as her head hit the pillow. As soon as her body relaxed into the mattress, she felt the steady ache in her muscles intensify now that she had time to think about it. Her legs and lower back hurt from dancing in heels last night and then sitting on the plane, even though it had only been for an hour or so. Other parts of her ached from more delicious activities.

Beth moaned into her pillow as sleep began to drift over her, her memory from _later_ last night overwhelming all other thoughts and the weariness in her body transforming into a different kind of ache; an ache that only one man seemed to be able to soothe, then again, he was the one who created it in the first place.

 _His looks, his kiss, his touch…_

She groaned as sleep tortuously evaded her, leaving her to her tempting and tormenting fantasies. Even the thought of him had her body coming alive as her mind drifted on the brink of exhaustion. Her skin quivered as she remembered how he had touched her, how his mouth had teased her – tasting her being the first thing on his mind after five months apart.

With a mind of its own – one that was listening to her body – her hand slid down underneath the edge of her underwear towards her sore and swollen center. Her folds were wet underneath the gentle touch of her fingertips; the thoughts of Darcy's mouth on her, of his cock inside of her, had her core begging for more of him. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending which half of her you asked, he wasn't here, which mean that her fingers would have to do.

Her fingers deftly swirled over her clit, knowing that her body needed this release to finally relax into sleep. Beth moaned again as her climax built, her fingers moving faster as her mind pictured Darcy's head between her thighs, imagining it was his devilish tongue that was pleasuring her right now. Her mouth fell open and her breath caught as the tension built inside of her.

She felt her inner muscles clenching, begging to be filled with _him,_ remembering what it was like to be filled with him; her body exploded as her orgasm spread over her. She quaked against her hand as the tension began to subside and her body finally relaxed.

As sleep finally overtook her, Darcy stepped out of her thoughts and into her dreams, refusing to let her go.

 _And she didn't want him to._

Thank God her alarm was automatically set to go off during the week otherwise she probably would have slept until noon. As it was, she'd already snoozed it twice, but she would be late if she hit snooze again.

She sat up groggily, her legs dropping off the side of the bed. The covers pulled off of her and she remembered that she went to bed naked, too tired to find the t-shirt she normally wore. Then, she remembered what she _hadn't_ been too tired to do; her eyes shutting briefly as she groaned, her body already awakening at the memory. She pushed herself out of bed determined not to dwell on that thought any longer.

She quickly got ready for work, the rush to not be late helping keep her mind off of certain things. Grabbing her phone off the nightstand, she almost made it out the door before she made the mistake of glancing at the screen, the unopened message from Darcy stopping her in her tracks. Her heart picked up its beat as she slid open the message.

- _Good morning, gorgeous. I hope you slept better than I did last night. Have a good day; Can't wait to see you._

Her heart stopped. Why? Because it was stupid. She knew he was going to follow her; he'd practically said so. Maybe because she'd made it back to her apartment without being intercepted or running into him, she been lulled into the belief that she was safe for a time, but that was foolish. He was coming for her and she needed to figure out her feelings before he got here.

 _What the heck?_

She had two men in the past twelve hours tell her that they can't wait to see her and she wished her body would respond to the first like it did to the second. That was one more thing to add onto her plate today – _telling Col that there was no hope for them._ It would be irrational and careless to try to pretend otherwise and it would only further hurt him.

Picking up her laptop bag, she rushed out her door and right into Darcy. He grunted as she knocked the breath out of him.

"Oomph," she groaned, her hands instinctively coming up to rest on his chest. Beth sighed, raising her gaze to the man she'd expected to see, just not so soon. "What are you doing here?" _Dumb question._ "I mean, I just got your text; I didn't realize when you said you couldn't wait to see me, that it meant you weren't going to wait to see me…"

"What can I say? I'm impatient when it comes to you. Whether it's now or later, I'm here because I'm not letting you run away from me," he said firmly, his hands coming to clasp her waist possessively in his strong vise-like grip. "Again." Electric current ran through her body at his touch. "I mean, I was hoping you'd coming running back into my arms, but I wasn't expecting it so literally."

Beth rolled her eyes at his light-hearted assumption. "I have to go to work," she said, placing steady, firm pressure against his chest. His hands tightened on her waist, telling her that he wasn't about to let her go. The pressure that she was putting on his chest, while separating their torsos, only serve to press her hips harder against his, leaving her with no doubt at just how aroused he was to see her, his erection pushing powerfully against her.

"Please, Darcy, I'm going to be late for work," she repeated, the sense of deja-vu coming over her from the last time she'd been in this similar situation.

Instantly, the hot hardness of him was gone; she stood alone as he stepped a foot away from her.

"We have to talk," he rasped, the plea unmistakable in his voice.

"Fine," Beth replied exasperated, willing to agree anything to get on with her morning. _Or, willing to agree to anything to see him again._ "But, not right now because I'm going to be late for work."

"Tonight?" _Was he really asking?_

"Ok," she agreed, flustered by, well, so many things – _that he'd let her go, that he wanted to talk, that he was asking instead of demanding._

She also agreed because she didn't have time for whatever came after a refusal.

Stepping around him, she rushed for the door to the stairwell, hearing him call her name one last time. She turned just as she began to open the door.

"I can't wait to see you later," he said again huskily.

Beth rolled her eyes and huffed, walking through the door and away from the infuriating and intoxicating man for whom her stomach clenched and her heart sped knowing that he was here – _that he was here for her._

When she got to her office, Col was already standing outside the door, waiting for her.

 _Great._

She forced a weak, apologetic smile to her face for being a few minutes late. "Sorry," she murmured, opening her office door and holding it for Col to enter since his hands were full with coffee.

"No worries," he said with a smile. "I know it's been a long weekend for you. You know, you could have asked your boss for the morning off and he probably would have given it to you. He's a pretty nice guy – pretty handsome, too." He winked at her as she smirked, taking her coffee from his hand, not realizing that she'd just freed it up to do something else.

For the second time that morning Beth felt a hand on her waist, only Col took it a step further and before she could stop him, his lips dropped to hers, kissing her softly. Beth sucked in a breath and jerked her head back sharply; she couldn't let him continue to think there could be something between them.

"Sorry," he grinned. "I couldn't help myself, I missed you. Don't worry, no one else is in yet, trust me, I've been standing in the hall for the past fifteen minutes."

Beth grimaced for both making him wait and for letting him believe that it was because she was afraid of someone seeing them that she'd pulled back.

 _She couldn't keep doing this._

She turned and walked towards her desk, intending to set her bag and coffee down and then talk to Colin from the superficial safety net behind her desk. She'd just placed her coffee cup on the wooden surface, opening her mouth to blurt out the uncomfortable, but necessary truth, when Col began to talk, not realizing that she was about to say something.

"I'm sorry I had to leave so early yesterday. I wish I could have stayed to help you move that stuff for Jane, but you know how it's been lately. There are still a million people – sponsors that I have to meet with this week and schmooze," he sighed. "Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it, but I enjoy being with you more."

"It's ok, Col, actually—"

"No, it's not ok," he interjected, "which is why I'm taking you to dinner on Friday."

Beth stared blankly at him.

"Alright, that's not quite the truth. I need to go taste the food that's going to be served at the after party at the hotel. It's the only night I had free this week which is why I wanted to spend it with you. So, I told them that it would be the both of us that will be there – I hope that's ok."

 _Crap. It was personal, but it was still work; she couldn't turn him down._

"I…ahh…yeah, that's fine. I have no plans," she stuttered, finishing with a smile to make her hesitancy less obvious.

It might actually be a good thing because then she could talk to him _outside_ the workplace about what was happening – or _not_ happening – between them. Then she would also have time to figure out how to let him down easily with the least amount of risk to their friendship – something that she still highly valued and wanted to keep.

"Perfect!" he exclaimed, shooting her his movie-star smile before taking a sip of his coffee. "So how did everyone fare after the wedding?"

 _Everyone?_ Fine. _Her?_ Remained to be seen.

"Good, I think," she responded hesitantly. "I didn't get to see Jane the following morning before they left. I was up pretty early just to make sure I got everything done and cleaned out of the apartment before I had to get to the airport."

"Ahh, gotcha. She looked like she was having a wonderful time. I'm so happy for them." Beth felt her heart clench at Col's genuine happiness for people and the touch of hopefulness that resounded in his voice; her heart clenched harder knowing she was going to crush that hope for him…at least when it came to her.

"I think she did, too," Beth agreed with a small smile. "I saw the rest of my family – mostly my dad and Lydia for a little bit before I had to leave and then my mom got home just as I was about to walk out the door. So, it was nice to see them for a little after all the craziness of the weekend was over."

"Your dad is such a great guy," Col enthused. "I mean, I know you've told me that about him before, but to finally meet him – what a pleasure. And he really loves you. I talked to him for a few minutes at the reception and man, all he wanted to hear about was you and how you were liking your new job."

His words brought a smile to her face. "He really is. I miss him a lot."

"I think he wondered who I was and what the heck I was doing there." He paused to chuckle. "But your mom took care of asking me those questions so he was spared."

Beth raised her palm to her forehead. "I'm sure she did; I'm sorry about that. She's so nosey."

"Hey, she's a mom; I think it's in their job description."

"If what she does is written in a job description, I think it's a few levels promoted up from 'mom,'" Beth retorted in jest as they both chuckled. "I guess I miss her, too, though. It's always just been harder for us to be as close as my dad and I, but I love her."

"I could tell how much she loves you, too," Col reassured her. His eyebrows raised, feeling his cell vibrate in his back pocket. "One sec, sorry," he apologized to her before answering the call. "Hello?" "Yeah, no that's not what I wanted." "I understand, but this is the first year that we are doing this and I'm not leaving anything to chance." "I'll come down there now." "Yup, bye."

Beth stared at him, waiting for the explanation; the call clearly had to do with the Contest Ball which was not this weekend, but next.

"Sorry. The events coordinator is struggling with seating for the guests of honor and the speakers so I'm going to head down there. I need to stop in at City Hall anyway and confirm that all the right roads are being blocked off." He sighed. "Can't have that fiasco happen again…"

"Do you need me to do anything? I can go talk to her if you want," Beth offered.

"No, don't worry about it," he assured her. "I know you have a lot on your plate to get ready for next weekend and I think you should take the morning easy. As enjoyable as the weekend was, I know it was hard to see your family again after so many months."

' _And hard to see Darcy again' was the part of his sentence that went unsaid._

"Thanks," she murmured, her whole body tensing as he approached her again to say good-bye. Thankfully, this time he reached for her hand and kissed the back of it, a grin spreading over his face.

"I'll talk to you later," he promised, heading for the door.

"Let me know how it goes and if you want me to follow up with them at the end of this week," she offered again as he opened her office door.

"I will," he said before he walked out and headed for the entrance to the building.

Beth sighed and dropped into her desk chair, sagging into the back of it.

 _Pull yourself together, Beth; this isn't the end of the world._

It's not like she hadn't had to let guys down before – ok, maybe not that many of them, but still. She'd done it before, she could do it again. It was just that she still wanted to be friends with Col and she was afraid that telling him there was no chance of anything more would hurt him too much for that to be possible.

 _And…_

And she was even more afraid for how he would react when she told him that it was just that there was nothing between them, but that it was because she still had feelings for Darcy after everything that had happened; after Col had seen what losing Darcy had done to her, she couldn't imagine any world where he would be supportive of that relationship again, and she couldn't blame him. Her own brain was struggling to support her feelings.

 _Darcy was right._

She wasn't really running from him this time, she was trying to outrun her feelings – feelings that became infinitely stronger when she was around him. Putting distance between them gave her rational thoughts a fighting chance of succeeding.

 _But for how long?_

How long would she be able to ignore how she felt about Darcy? It had been manageable the past five months, but as soon as Col wanted to take their relationship to the next level…forget it; it became crystal clear that any attempt to access romantic feelings only led her right back to Darcy.

Pulling herself up, she grabbed her laptop out of her bag and opened up her email. There was a lot to do this week for the Contest – which meant a lot to keep her mind off of her relationship challenges, at least for a few hours until she had to confront Darcy again. Beth took a sip of her coffee trying to wash down the butterflies that tried to escape from her stomach at the thought.

She powered through the entire day, barely stopping to leave the building and grab herself some lunch. There was a degree of comfort in the stress that she was dealing with. It kept her mind intently focused on the immediate tasks and the urgency of completing them; it made her feel like she was accomplishing things in at least one area of her life. Here, she knew what had to be done and how to efficiently and effectively accomplish it; personally, she knew neither of those things and it was the not knowing that produced the bad kind of stress.

Before she knew it, it was five-thirty and time for her to face the music. Closing her computer, she had no doubt that Darcy was waiting for her back at her apartment. And if she did have any doubt, it was erased when she checked her phone and saw a message from him.

- _I have dinner._

As if trying to prove its point that with him is where she belonged, her stomach grumbled at the word 'food'. Packing up her stuff, she looked around the room one more time waiting for…something. _An answer? Direction? An easy way out?_

 _It was never that simple._

Walking out of her office, she headed home hoping that what she would find there would be more answers than questions.


	20. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn't Darcy sitting on the floor outside her apartment door, the paper bag presumably filled with their dinner as well as a wine bottle-shaped bag sitting next to him. His legs outstretched, ankles crossed in front of him, he looked up expectantly as the stairwell door opened.

 _He'd been waiting and she hadn't been the first one to come through this door._

"I hope you haven't been sitting there all day," she murmured and gave her best attempt at a smile.

"I would have, but I don't think I'd have an ass anymore if I did," he said, groaning as he stood up. "No, I went to our satellite office and worked for a while before scouring the city for the best Chinese food."

 _Of course, Fitz Corp had a satellite office here._

Beth unlocked the door, letting them both inside. "And what was your result?" Her stomach rumbled again at the mention of Chinese food; she was definitely craving Chinese food…or maybe she was just craving food in general at this point.

"The Q," was his abrupt answer, setting the bags down on her tiny kitchen counter.

 _Good choice, Mr. Darcy._

She watched as he took a look around her apartment – small compared to where her and Jane had lived in New York and microscopic compared to his penthouse.

"Not quite like New York, but I don't need much. It's just me, so the smaller space is easier to clean," she murmured, unnerved by his inspection.

"It's very nice, very homey," Darcy quickly responded. "I like it."

 _Or maybe he just liked the part where she mentioned that it was 'just her.'_

Beth set her stuff down just inside her bedroom, closing the door slightly, embarrassed by the mess she had left last night when she'd come home and crashed.

"Sorry it's a little messy, I got home late last night after my flight and I didn't expect to see you."

"Beth, it's fine. Let's eat – I can hear your stomach rumbling from here and I'm afraid if you don't eat dinner, you might eat me," he said, giving her a tight smile while he pulled out the take-out containers from the paper bag.

Beth moaned as the smell of hot Chinese food permeated her apartment, opening the containers to find all of her favorites.

"I think I remembered all the ones that you like," he said, rummaging through the kitchen drawers for her corkscrew.

Beth blushed. _Of course, this Mr. Thoughtful-Darcy had ordered her favorites._

"Behind you," she mumbled, putting the first forkful of lo mein into her mouth. She continued to eat to appease her stomach, but her eyes remained on him as she opened the bottle of wine. He easily found the wine glasses since she only had two cupboards in her kitchen and poured them both a generous glass of whatever red he had picked.

As good as it looked, she instead reached for the carton of sesame chicken wanting to make sure her stomach was moderately full before she started putting alcohol into her system.

"Why are you here?" she asked bluntly. "Actually, how did you know where I live? And get my number?"

 _Dumb questions really. The man had the money to find anyone and it wasn't like she'd gone into witness protection._

"I asked Jane on the way to the airport. It's not her fault; I was a little upset as I'm sure you can imagine..." His eyes flared. "I told you, I'm not letting you go this time."

Beth sighed, _that_ was the Darcy she knew – demanding and determined. "Did you really get a restraining order against Caroline?" She switched gears, hardly able to believe her memory that he'd actually done it.

"Yes, I told you I did."

"I know, I was just having a hard time believing it. I still picture her… Well, never mind…" she trailed off, taking a bite of the chicken.

"She's not allowed to come near me," he reiterated, his jaw tensing as she referred to seeing Caro in his apartment that morning. "And I'd like to take you to get one as soon as possible. I have everything that you need; I don't want her anywhere near you." His hard, unyielding tone emphasized just how emphatic he was about having this done.

"I don't see what the point is now; it's not like I'm going to have to see her again," Beth replied.

"I don't fucking care," he said a little too harshly, judging by her surprised face. He toned his voice down before continuing, "I don't want to take any chances. Maybe you've put it behind you, but I still remember everything that she did to you. And to think that that morning you were there with her, alone… _Fuck…_ " he cursed, taking a sip of the wine he'd poured. "She's not right and I want you to have every protection from her."

Beth picked up her glass, letting the sweet burn fill her mouth and rush down her throat. "I'll think about it," she murmured. If she ever went back to New York, she would do it, remembering how paranoid and afraid Caroline's games had made her.

She watched Darcy's jaw flex at her middle-ground answer, but he, surprisingly, didn't push any farther, instead changing the subject to something more mundane.

"How was work today?"

"Good." She took another quick sip of her wine before picking up the carton of noodles again. "The Contest is next weekend so there is a lot to do, a lot to keep myself and my mind busy."

"Do you like your new job?" He picked up another container of spicy chicken but made no move to eat any, instead just watching her intently. It was as though he was trying to take her all in, unsure of why she was still letting him stay in her presence, let alone continue a relatively normal conversation with.

"I do. It's very different than before. Most things are on a much smaller scale but I feel like I'm making a bigger difference, if that makes any sense."

"Absolutely," he agreed with a nod. "It's one of the reasons Fitz Corp has kept so many of its smaller companies, like the one Lydia works for, separate. Consolidation makes things easier in some ways, but there is so much more that is lost."

"How hard was it not to fire George?" The mention of Lydia had her wondering just how well he'd been able to control his anger and the ease with which he could have exacted revenge.

"It wasn't too bad." Beth raised her eyebrows. "Alright, alright, it was fucking hard, but not as hard as it would have been a few months earlier." _What does that mean?_ "I will admit, as much as it pains me, that he's actually not doing too terrible of a job," he mumbled gruffly.

"But what he's doing to Lydia…"

"I don't think he realized what he was getting himself into when he agreed to marry her for this job. I think he's starting to realize how much responsibility a wife and family are and he doesn't know how to handle it. Lydia didn't leave him because he's terrible to her, she left because she felt like she was a burden to him and she didn't want her child to feel like that as well."

"Do you think he'll ever change?" she asked softly, taking another sip of her wine.

"I never thought he could change, but then again, I never thought I could either. Love can work miracles," he said, the molten chocolate of his eyes deepening as it met hers. "Especially when it's love for a child – or so I've heard."

"I don't know," she replied, still skeptical even though she hadn't seen Wickham since they moved; Darcy, on the other hand, would have had more frequent contact with him since then.

"We'll see," he echoed her sentiment.

"So, how have you been?" she asked, the wine starting to encourage a deeper line of questioning.

"Ok," he answered initially, his lips thinning. Beth thought that would be the end of it; Darcy never wanted to talk about or elaborate on his feelings. And then he shocked her by continuing, "I was devastated at first." Her eyes shot up to his.

"I didn't know about the whole Caroline thing, well, about you seeing her there. Charles and I came back to find her there like I told you, but that only made me angry. Then we got to Jane's and no one was there. It was when we arrived at your parent's house that I found out." He swallowed hard, pouring more wine into both of their glasses. "I was in shock. I wasn't expecting it, obviously. I expected the anger, the hurt, the pain, the guilt – they were all things that I'd talked to Charles about and prepared myself to handle. But, for you to have left already… Nothing could have prepared me for that."

"I couldn't stay…" she whispered, taking another sip of her wine, hoping that he would continue to share with her and reveal this side of Darcy that she'd rarely seen.

"I felt like all the air had been pulled from my lungs when your father said that you were gone. Honestly, I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't talked to me. I knew what I had said to you was horrible and in no way was justified by what had happened, but I just couldn't believe that you had left."

She swallowed hard. "What did he say?" Beth asked even though she knew the answer; she craved to hear it from Darcy's perspective; she craved to hear more of this vulnerable side and how what she'd done had had an effect on him.

"He just talked to me about you – not specifically why you left or where you had gone because he didn't know. But he told me about you and your personality and the things that shaped you. Some of it I knew, but some of it I listened to and realized how what I had said could have pushed you to leave. It wasn't an answer, but he shed some light on the path that had gotten us here."

"I came over to talk to you that morning, to try to fix things, in spite of how I felt and how much what you said had hurt me; I knew that once I told you what had really happened you would understand," she admitted. "But when I saw Caro there, all of the doubts that I had over what you said became real. All of the doubts that I had about myself, that Jane had convinced me weren't the truth, exploded inside of me and consumed me."

"I didn't know," he said softly. "I would have come sooner if I had." He paused, swirling the last sip of wine in his glass, thinking deeply for a moment before admitting. "I know how hard you tried with me… to fix me. I couldn't see it, or maybe didn't want to see it, at the time. But after you were gone, I hated myself for what I put you through and I deserve every fucking tear I cried for hurting you. Because the truth is, I would have left me, too. I wasn't who you needed me to be; I wasn't who I wanted to be."

"And is that who you are now?" she whispered, setting her empty glass down hesitantly as though it were the last protective barrier standing between them.

"It's certainly who I'm fucking trying to be, but I'm not really the one who can answer that question, only you can." He drank the last bit of wine from his glass. "At least, you're the only one whose answer matters."

"What do you want from me?" she whispered, watching as he picked up her glass and put both of theirs into the sink, then picking up the multiple, opened cartons and tossing them in the garbage. His forehead was furrowed, his jaw flexing as he searched for the right words to say.

He walked around the countertop, stopping in front of her, a breath away from her body. She could feel the electric heat sparking in the air around them; even though she knew it had the power to decimate her, there was a comfort in the familiarly potent charge that arced between them.

Ever so slowly, she watched as his eyes fell from hers down to her hand resting in her lap as his moved to take it. Tenderly, he brought her fingers up to his mouth, placing a sweet yet seductive open-mouthed kiss onto her palm before intertwining her hand with his. She expected him to kiss her, to take her, and to not meet any resistance on her end. Instead, he kissed her hand and gently pulled away from her, taking her – leading her into her tiny living room to sit on the loveseat.

 _Who was this Darcy, so similar yet so different? Was he finally what she needed?_

"I just want you," he rasped, his brown eyes deepening with a need that went beyond the lust that burned through his body. She stared at him for a moment, her senses overwhelmed, not remembering what she had asked. "I don't want anything from you, Beth," he clarified. " _I just fucking want you._ "

"And what does that even mean now? We just go back to the way things were between us? I don't know if I can do that again. I know you say that you've changed, but I'm scared to believe it; I'm scared because of how much I _want_ to believe it." She bit her lip, blinking rapidly as she felt her emotions rising to the point of bubbling over with tears.

"No," he interjected quickly and firmly. "No, not like before. I can't fucking bear the thought of losing you again and that means I can't fucking be the _intolerable_ asshole that I was before; I don't think I'm that asshole that I was before and I just want a chance to prove it to you."

Beth swallowed over the lump in her throat, his words making her heart race and butterflies of hope bloom in her stomach. _Could this be real? Or was she just going to wake up in a few weeks and realize that it had been a nightmare?_

"I know that my words, my assurances, don't mean much – how could they when at the slightest test, I threw everything you believed about me back in your face." He sighed, roughly running his hand through his hair. "I can't ask you to believe my words, I'm asking you to take a chance on my actions."

 _And she was only lying to herself if she thought she could deny him – deny them – that chance._

"I can't promise that I'll be able to keep my hands off of you," he continued, his eyes burning into hers as they both pictured just what those hands could do. "No, actually, I promise you that I _won't_ keep these hands from touching every fucking sweet and soft inch of you. I promise you that I will pleasure you, I will fuck you, I will love you until your body craves me more than it craves air."

Her teeth clamped down on her lower lip as her thighs cinched closer together. The seriously seductive promise already putting her body on edge, aching for him to fulfill it. Instead, he forged on while Beth sat there as moisture pooled thickly between her thighs.

"But more than that, I promise that I will be open with you – whatever you ask, whatever you need, I will do it and not because I don't have a choice, but because you deserve so much more than I've given you."

Her heart felt like it was going to explode and yet her head was throwing up red flags left and right; warning signs that this road was not safe for travel.

 _Honesty deserves honesty._

"I'm scared," she admitted, tears falling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry that I left before thinking or giving you the chance to explain about Caroline. I'm sorry that I was weak. I couldn't think about anything; all I knew was that it felt like my heart had stopped and if I didn't get away from everything, it might never start again. I left then because I was hurt and scared. Now, I'm just scared that I'm not what you need." The ache in her chest was just as prominent as the one between her thighs. She wanted to say more but she couldn't find the words; she didn't know how to tell him everything that she felt even though she felt the words burning in the back of her throat.

Darcy sighed; his gaze breaking from hers just as she saw her pain and fear mirrored in them.

"Can I ask you something?" He looked back to her, watching the slightly perplexed expression cross her face.

 _What more could he ask of her?_ She wondered. Her head jerked with a swift nod knowing that she needed to find out whatever it was.

"Why did you leave again after the wedding?" he asked, the hurt from his eyes radiating out through his voice.

Beth grimaced at the question and the change in the direction of the conversation; the part of her that wondered how to answer him was far too slow compared to her heart that spoke the truth it had been holding on to.

"Because I don't know how not to…"

His brow furrowed, "I don't understand."

"I left because I don't know how not to think about you, Darcy," she answered with a sigh, the words caged inside of her finally being set free. "Especially when it's late at night and I'm crying – which is not infrequent since I moved here; I don't know how to not think about you. I thought that I should have been the one who is strong and just moves on no matter what you do or say, and that is what I fully intended to do at Jane's wedding, but instead, I fell right back into your arms – just like I've wanted to do every night before… and every night since." With every admission, her voice raised in irritation with herself. "And every morning for the past five months, I wake up trying to ignore how much I hate myself for the way that I can't help but still want you; _I just don't know how not to."_

" _So then don't,_ " he whispered back, his unrelenting stare boring straight into her heart, begging it to give in to him one more time.

"I don't know if I can," she choked out. "How many times have we tried this? Our personalities don't know how to work together; we're too independent and there are too many secrets between us. How many times are we going to try this?"

"One time. _This time._ This time I'm going to fucking get it right," he swore.

"How? Are we just going to get lucky?" she asked, her voice breathless with disbelief. "What is this 'third time is the charm' thinking? I don't think luck can save us."

"I don't need luck; all I need is one chance to show you I can deserve your love." Darcy's eyes sparked with the emotion behind his words; the weight of his request falling between them stifling out whatever remained of her concerns.

Beth just stared silently at him, a war raging inside of her between her heart and her mind.

 _Except, it wasn't a war; it was a hostile take-over… that wasn't really that hostile._

Darcy continued before she had a chance to waive the white flag – and fall back into his arms. "Beth, I understand," he began solemnly. "I completely understand why part of you wants this to be over. And if you tell me to, I will go through the motions of walking away. I can leave you alone and send the rest of your things that are still sitting in my closet back to you; I can try to find plenty of shit to fill my day. But, I don't know how to not think about you either." He paused, his hand coming up to cover his mouth for a second before he spoke again. "I'm not the same person I was when you left. I could give you reasons, I could give you proof, but I don't want to just tell you. Please give me the chance to show you, gorgeous; give me the chance to love you."

She swallowed hard, her eyes dropping to stare at the hard planes of his chest. She watched her hand, as though it wasn't her own, reach up to place her palm over his heart feeling the firm muscle beneath her fingers twitch at her touch; she felt the white-hot heat start to spread through her fingers, into her hand, up her arm, and into the rest of her body; _it was always like this._

"And if I want you to show me everything? No more secrets," she whispered, her eyes finally moving up to meet his intense stare that now burned with his need for her, ignited by her touch.

"I will show you anything you want, gorgeous. _Any. Fucking. Thing_ ," he rasped. "Just tell me where you want me to start."

There was silence for a second, but that second was in slow motion, their love that they'd tried to deny for each other heightening their desire; their need replaced all of the oxygen in the air so that with every breath, all that fueled their bodies was passion.

There was a time for words and then there were times when no words would do. There were so many uncertainties, so many doubts floating around, the only thing that she knew for certain was how much she missed being with him – the physical connection to him was her one stable life-line; it was the one thing she could count on not to change. It was the one thing that hadn't changed and it was the one thing that had been missing these past few months, making her feel like she was living in some sort of alternate reality where she was only half present.

 _She wanted him – she didn't know how not to. And, God help her, she'd tried._

"For now, just show me how much you want me," she demanded, her hand curling into his shirt, pulling him towards her.  
"I don't know if that's even fucking possible, gorgeous, but I'll be more than happy to try," he replied as his body moved flush with hers, seconds before his hands were around her waist and his lips descended onto hers.

She met his kiss as though there'd never been any doubt in her mind that this is where she belonged.

Who was she kidding – from the second she'd opened her door, she knew that she would be his again, that she would give them another chance; _she didn't know how not to._


	21. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

He obliged her request eagerly, but unlike the other night, the urgency, the forcefulness, the lack of control was missing; Darcy kissed her tenderly, drawing from her lips every word that remained unspoken. He kissed her like her lips were a new world that he was charting for the very first time. Discovering every delicate corner of her mouth with his tongue, it stroked hers, calming the insistency that she felt, enticing her to relax into his languorous exploration.

Beth moaned, her hand that had grasped his shirt stretching out and relaxing against his chest. She leaned into him, letting his arms encircle her and give her the support she needed. She tasted the wine on his tongue, or maybe it was from her own, either way, she shivered as it added a sweet and strong dimension to the sensations his mouth evoked.

His hands around her waist began to trace lazy circles along her back, causing goosebumps to parade up her spine while his mouth continued its torture. Even though she felt the friction and pressure slowly and deeply building inside of her, Beth felt, at the same time, that she could sit there forever kissing him and not need anything more.

Gently, his hands moved along the outsides of her thighs, moving her legs to hook around his waist. Her mouth parted from his, gasping in air as he lifted her from her seat, turning them both towards her bedroom door.

Without missing a beat, he gently nipped her chin before placing kisses along her jawline as her head tipped back allowing him better access to wherever his delicious mouth wanted to go.

He kicked the door open in front of him, carefully maneuvering them into her tiny bedroom. His lips left her neck to look at see where he was going.

"It's a little smaller than what you're used to," she whispered breathlessly, sure that he was wondering how both of them were going to fit comfortably on her bed.

"The only thing that I'm used to, gorgeous, is being inside of you," he rasped, approaching the edge of the bed.

Beth bit her lip hearing his words, moisture surging between her thighs as her hips instinctively flexed against him, enjoying the reciprocating swell of his erection against her.

She turned her head slightly to look where they were headed. "Don't drop me."

His gaze immediately returned to hers, deep brown eyes shimmering and solid. "I told you before, gorgeous, _I'm not letting you go this time._ "

Her breath caught just as his lips captured hers again. With a little more insistency, his tongue found hers toying and teasing her as he carefully sat down on the bed with her in his lap, her legs still intertwined around his waist.

His hands carefully freed her blouse from where it was tucked into her pants and then lifted the soft material up and over her head, tossing it down onto the floor. His fingers traced down along her bra straps, along the edge of the cups where the swells of her breasts were straining, begging to be freed.

Back and forth the pads of his fingers ran along the edge of the material, teasing her with the lazy softness of his touch. Beth arched her back, trying to encourage a firmer caress, but he wouldn't stray from his plan. His fingers fell slowly over the front of her breasts. Beth moaned softly as they grazed over her nipples, still covered by the fabric of her bra. Darcy could feel their hardness even though there was still a barrier separating them from his touch.

His fingers continued their tortuous trek, following along the underwire in her bra, along the sides, which caused her to shiver as they passed along the sensitive skin underneath her arms. Finally working his way to her back, Darcy deftly unclasped the garment as Beth eagerly lifted her arms allowing him to pull the sliver of material off of her.

This time there was no teasing. With her breasts bared to him, his hands returned to the swollen mounds, grasping them possessively. Beth moaned into his mouth as he kneaded her aching flesh, the pressure from his fingers heightening the pressure building inside of her. His thumbs grazed over the sensitive tips; the hard buds begging for his attention. With gentle determination, he rolled the peaks between his fingers, teasing them relentlessly, the sensation making her core burn with the fire that he evoked.

She rolled her hips against him again, subconsciously entreating him for more. This time, his hips jerked back against her core and Beth knew that his resolve was slowly weakening under the weight of his desire.

"Just let me pleasure you, Beth," he whispered hoarsely against her mouth. "It's all I want."

He didn't take her mouth again, instead trailing his lips down the side of her neck, kissing and sucking her silken skin along the way. His hands released her breasts as his head moved lower, moving them around to support her back so that she could arch up to him, presenting him with the mounds of flesh that pleaded for the attention of his mouth.

Even though Beth could feel his desire increasing with every kiss that seared into her skin, Darcy still maintained his pace, kissing every inch of her neck down to the swell of her breast. She held her breath, waiting for it – for him – for the hot torture of his mouth. Air rushed out of her as the scorching suction of his lips closed over her nipple. She moaned, her fingers digging into his back as his tongue began its sweet torment of the hypersensitive tip of her breast, rolling the firm bud back and forth, each motion eliciting fireworks of friction that flew through her body.

He pulled the peak deep into his mouth, each draw milking more moisture from her core. He finished with one, only to move his focus to the other swell that had been waiting impatiently. Beth moved her hands, threading her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer towards her, begging him to ease the ache inside of her.

" _Please,_ " she whispered, her orgasm begging to be released from his slow torture. She felt his lips smile briefly against the soft skin of her breast as he pulled her nipple firmly into his mouth one more time.

Without releasing the peak, he shifted them, turning so that he could gently lay her back on the bed, her legs falling from around his waist to cradle him between her thighs. His hands free from supporting meant that one immediately moved to grasp her unattended breast, mimicking the movements of his tongue with his fingers. Her hips flexed again, his groan rumbling over her chest.

He moved to undo the clasp of her pants, grasping the waist of them along with her underwear. His mouth released her so that he could sit back and free her lower body from its cloth confinement.

Her arms fell back above her head as her gaze, laden with desire, locked with his. She lay there, barely breathing, watching him as his eyes began to travel the aroused and exposed length of her. Even though he still had all of his cloths on, she could see ever muscle outlined in his shirt and even more so in his pants, the front of them bulging almost unnaturally.

"You're beautiful," he said softly, his fingers brushing lightly along her thighs. Beth felt her whole body flush underneath him, a surge of wetness releasing from inside of her. His eyes dropped ever so slowly down her body to her glistening core, his hands following in their wake.

The fingers on one hand spread her folds wide, opening her completely to his gaze, while the other hand began to move lightly within her folds. At first, Beth watched as those fingers began to explore her and the begging flesh between her thighs; the brushed back and forth through the center of her folds, lightly at first, just like he'd done over her breasts. She moaned at the soft torment.

The next slide ended with his finger slipping inside of her. She gasped soundlessly as the brief fullness before it was gone, brushing back up and over her clit again. He repeated the movement, this time two finger ran down the length of her core, both slipping completely inside of her, bending slightly to touch that epicenter of pleasure deep inside of her before slipping back out, up, and swirling around the slick bundle of nerves. Again, he repeated the movement. Every muscle in her body was tensed – waiting and begging to be released. Her heart was pounding; her body was so strained from the slow torture that Beth wondered if it was possible to perish from the pleasurable pressure that had risen to unimaginable heights.

Yet, his rhythm remained steady.

"That's it, baby," he encouraged her softly, his eyes darting up to hers for a split-second before they returned to focus on the sight of his fingers, coated with the evidence of her pleasure, teasing her.

She moaned loudly, her eyes clamping shut, her lip painfully trapped between her teeth as she fought for her release.

"Let me feel how much you want me; let me see you come," he whispered, his fingers making their final descent to her entrance.

Three finger pushed inside of her, pressing on that tender spot as the thumb of his other hand circled over her clit and she finally exploded, screaming his name. With its thumb still pressing on her center, his hand held her hips firmly down against the bed though they tried to arch up, while his other hand continued to flex his fingers inside of her, her inner muscles clenching around him.

" _Beautiful,"_ he murmured. Her eyes fluttered open to see his face strained with restraint, feeling her body convulsing around him.

Beth moaned, watching as he slowly pulled his fingers out of her, completely coated with her juices. Her hips tried to jerk again as his thumb continued to rub purposefully over her clit causing sparks of burning, painful pleasure to shoot through her sated body.

"You're so beautiful," he said again, his jaw clenching as his gaze fixated on her wet center. Her mouth parted as she saw him bend his head down to her. " _And you're mine,_ " he whispered, his breath teasing over her soaking and swollen folds a second before his mouth completely covered her.

She shook underneath him, but she could make no sound the burning pleasure was so exquisite. The tongue that had teased every inch of her body spared nothing when it came to the most sensitive part of her. His hands now found their way underneath her ass, sinking into the soft flesh to angle her more openly for his feast. His tongue lapped over her, tasting her overflowing desire and licking the nub of nerves where every sensation he evoked had concentrated.

Her hips arched even further against his mouth, the rising pleasure from his tongue paralyzing the rest of her body; she could feel nothing except where his mouth was on her and that was all she needed. His tongue moved faster, more urgently over her clit. Her heels dug into the bed as she felt herself racing towards the second orgasm he'd so expertly crafted inside of her.

One deep draw of that bud into his mouth ignited her release that blazed through her. Her hips vibrated uncontrollably underneath him as the potency of her climax burned through her. His mouth didn't release her – wouldn't release her.

Beth vaguely heard his groan as he tasted her pleasure – the pleasure that he'd begged to give her, rush from inside of her. He drank from her as though it was she who would be responsible for his intoxication tonight instead of the wine.

She moaned as the waves of release subsided, his tongue finally letting her body fall completely into a sated stupor, her heartbeat beginning to return to normal.

She waited, anticipating his next move – one that would surely end with him inside of her, leading her to yet another mind-numbing orgasm. She felt the bed shift under him, but instead of getting heavier, his weight on the bed disappeared as he stood. Her eyes darted open, watching him walk into her bathroom to wash his hands and swish with some mouthwash.

Again, she watched and waited as he reentered the room. She saw the fire in his eyes, seeing her sprawled naked, her legs still spread open, beginning him to return to where he belonged between them.

 _And again, he surprised her._

Darcy made no move to remove his clothes, instead walking around to the other side of the bed, climbing onto it and lying next to her. Her head turned and followed him, meeting his gaze as his head rest down on the pillow next to hers.

"That has to hurt," she murmured, her brow furrowing, wondering why he seemed content to just lay next to her instead of trying to satiate his desire.

He gave her a tight smile. "I'm fine."

She turned onto her side, facing him completely, lowering her hand onto the side of his face. "But I asked you to show me how much you want me…"

His head turned so that he could kiss her palm that was resting on his cheek. "This is me showing you how much I want you – how much more I want with you than just fucking you," he said firmly, adding wryly, "because that part is painfully fucking obvious." He grimaced at the words, trying to ease the uncomfortable confines of his pants.

Her stomach clenched. The possessive, quasi-demanding part of Darcy that she knew was still there – it was the part that had informed her that she was his; but, there was also this part of him, something that she ached to remember if she'd seen before. This part that ached to please her, and not just physically, but with his words and actions; this part that was trying to prove to her that he had changed, that he was determined to put her first.

She could hold him to it; she could turn over and go to bed, completely sated and warm with the knowledge that he was doing everything in his power to prove himself worthy of her love. Her stomach clenched though because she didn't want to; she wanted to feel that deep, physical connection to him when he lost himself inside of her.

"You said I'm yours," she whispered, her eyelids dropping watching her hand as it slid off his cheek, down the hard planes of his chest, closing over the solid, burning length of him. " _So, take me._ "

"Beth," he groaned, eyes clenching shut as he fought against himself and his desire for her. She squeezed her hand over his erection and his gaze shot open, a growl escaping from his lips.

" _As you wish, gorgeous."_ Her body tingled at his promise.

His hand tipped her onto her back again, raising himself to his knees. Bending his head down to her breasts, he lavished attention on the erect peaks while his hands quickly unbuttoned his shirt, throwing it off the bed behind him.

Kneeling on the bed, he stared down at her. "Touch yourself," he commanded, then added softly, "make yourself wet for me." Stepping back off the bed, he began to undo his pants, his eyes locked on her hand as it drifted down over her stomach, disappearing between her folds as she did what he asked.

Instead of watching herself, she watched his face as he saw her pleasure herself. The sheen of sweat covered his entire body with the restraint he'd shown so far, restraint that was about to snap. She bit her lip as her hypersensitive clit easily and greedily climbed back up to the precipice of orgasm with just a few strokes of her fingers.

The shudder than ran through her body broke his trance. He quickly shed the rest of his clothes, climbing back onto the bed and between her thighs.

Her hand barely moved back before he thrust completely inside of her, his tortured groan escaping as her tight passage encased him with hot, moist heat, the last vestiges of his restraint lost.

" _Holy Christ,"_ he swore as his hips began to move.

His fingers dug into her hips, raising them and then holding them steady while he rammed into her, his desire completely unchecked. Sweat began to bead on his forehead as he pushed deep inside of her over and over again.

Their moans elevated in sync as the burning friction between them built. Her core was so sensitized that it only took a few of his powerful thrusts to send her over the edge again. Her walls contracting around him, he shouted as she pulled him into his climax, the hot jet of his release making her entrance even slicker as he continued to slide into her, riding out the waves of his almost-denied orgasm.

Darcy groaned, his fingers relaxing on her hips as his movements finally began to slow. Releasing her, he leaned over, resting his weight on his hands on either side of her head, bending his down to touch his lips to hers.

He kissed her gently and Beth moaned softly against his mouth, her eyes fluttering open, a soft smile spreading over her face.

"You're incredible," she said softly, not caring if her words inflated his ego or not; she couldn't filter her thoughts anymore and she didn't want to.

He chuckled, his eyes capturing hers. "No, gorgeous, you are incredible _._ " He dropped a quick kiss on her lips. "I'm not incredible, I'm intolerable, remember?" The corners of his mouth lifted in a smile, teasing her nickname for him.

Beth laughed, eliciting a small groan from him as her movement caused her muscles to flex around the part of him that was still resting inside of her. "Who says you can't be both?" she retorted with a sly smile.

His head dropped as he laughed, pulling himself out of her in one movement – both of them feeling the loss. He stepped off the side of the bed and she moaned, forcing herself to follow him. She went into the bathroom while he walked out into the living room to grab the small bag he'd brought with him. Pulling out his toothbrush, he joined her in brushing their teeth.

They climbed back into her small bed, underneath the covers, as if they'd been doing this every night for the past five months. Beth reached over to turn off the light as Darcy slid up behind her.

Beth sighed softly. "So, what now?" she asked quietly, enjoying the feel of Darcy pressed up against her back, his fingers tracing lazy circles down the side of her arm.

Her body wanted to fall asleep now that it was completely sated, but her mind wanted to know what happened next – if she should expect to wake up to find Darcy gone in the morning.

"Hmm." His chest rumbled with the deep vibration. His head dropped to place a kiss on her shoulder blade. "I think, I'd like to take you to dinner."

"We already ate," she murmured. _The exhaustion was really starting to get to her._

"Not tonight," he chuckled. "This weekend. Friday."

 _Friday…_ She furrowed her brow trying to remember why that day seemed to stick out in her mind. Maybe it was because it seemed so far away. _Was she not going to see him again until then?_

"I have to go back to New York tomorrow," he explained as if he had heard her thoughts. "I need to take care of a couple of things; I wasn't planning on coming up here this early in the week, so I have to go back and straighten out some merger proposals before the end of the week.

"Oh," she replied softly, too tired to hide her disappointment.

 _It was only four days, Beth._

"Trust me, I don't want to leave either. Not now," he replied hoarsely, his fingers dipped off of her arm, the backs of them gently brushing along the swell of her breast to circle her nipple; the subtle movement a punctuation to his thoughts. Beth sighed at his caress and felt Darcy tense behind her. "You have no idea how fucking bad I want to kidnap you and take you with me," he growled, his teeth lightly sinking in to the side of her neck causing goosebumps to race down her body.

"I can't –" she began to whisper breathlessly before he immediately cut her off.

"I won't. I know your work is busy right now and I know how much this job means to you. I saw it in your eyes." His hand returned to her arm as a sign of restraint. "I know you enjoy your work with Gardiner, but I've seen what you've done for the Center and I saw the look on your face when you talk about what you do. There's more than just pride there now, there's a peace, a contentment, knowing that what you are doing is helping people who need it, not just really rich or talented people who want it."

"Thank you," she whispered, blinking back tears. He was right; her new job had fulfilled her in so many ways and, as much as she loved Phil and her Gardiner clientele, she couldn't imagine going back and working there. As much as New York felt like her home and where she belonged, it didn't outweigh her sense of purpose that she'd found here.

 _Which presented another problem._

 _How were they going to work if she needed to stay in Boston?_ Granted, he said he had offices here and he certainly had more flexibility than she did to live wherever he wanted; maybe it would be ok. _Unless he needed to be in New York now. Or somewhere else._ She remembered how they'd talked about Singapore so long ago. And then there was the fact that her family and Jane and everything were in New York. The thought bothered her.

 _Had she always looked at Boston as something temporary?_

"Shh," he whispered. "Enough thinking for tonight." His words refocused her brain on the present. Her body tingling as his hands moved towards her back, expecting him to physically distract her from her thoughts… again.

Instead, his hand stopped on her shoulders as he began to gently massage the muscles that were tense from her musings. She had momentarily begun to anticipate more pleasure especially as she had felt his erection hardening against her back. But this, right now, felt even more exquisite; she couldn't stop the moan that escaped from her lips as his hands worked the tension from her shoulders and neck.

Her body felt like it was melting into the bed as his hand worked the back of her neck and up onto her head. Gently he massaged her scalp, working all of the stressful thoughts from her mind. In minutes, she succumbed to the relaxed exhaustion that he'd brought over her, falling into a deeply calm and peaceful sleep; the greatest comfort being the knowledge that she would wake up in his arms.


	22. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Beth woke to the sound of an alarm going off. Her eyes darted open, recognizing that it wasn't her alarm. That's when the memories of last night came back to her, along with the feeling of Darcy shifting in bed next to her. She turned to lie on her back, looking over at the hot, naked man who was sprawled in her tiny bed with her.

"I think you're being summoned," she said softly, warmth spreading through her as she watched him slowly move into awareness, reaching over to snooze the alarm. She smiled to herself, enjoying how peaceful and innocent he looked while he slept.

That was until he turned back over and opened his eyes. Beth inhaled sharply at the deep, dark desire that awakened in his gaze. She only had a moment to take it in before he pushed himself up onto his elbow, his other hand cupping her chin, tilting it up just as his mouth descended on hers.

He kissed her hard and fast, barely giving her a chance to kiss him back before his mouth was gone, his head diving beneath the covers in search of her treasure that was underneath them.

Beth gasped as his tongue dove between her folds, circling her clit mercilessly, wetness seeping from her core as his mouth demanded her pleasure.

"Darcy…" she half-whispered his name, her fingers flexing into his hair. And then his tongue was gone, his entire body shifting between her thighs as the hard length of him entered her.

His mouth found her nipple as his cock pumped into her, bringing them both swiftly to release.

His mouth claimed hers again for a brief kiss. "Good morning, gorgeous," he rasped, a sly smile breaking over his face.

She moaned, her mind still trying to catch up to how awake her body now felt. "Good morning." He chuckled, kissing her again.

"I'm going to hop in the shower," he said, climbing out of the bed. "I have to leave in an hour for my flight."

"Mmm," she moaned in acquiescence; that meant she had a few more minutes to relax in bed and enjoy the delicious feeling that spread throughout her after morning sex.

The next thing she knew, she felt Darcy's lips on hers again. "Time to get up," he whispered. She opened her eyes to see him buttoning up his shirt.

"Fine," she grumbled, pushing herself up to sit, not caring that the sheet had fallen leaving her bare to his gaze. She smirked at Darcy and his darkening stare, standing and leisurely walking into the bathroom where he'd left the water running for her, although it was the heat from his gaze and not the steam from the shower that caused her body to warm.

"I'm going to make us coffee," he said from behind her. "What do you have for breakfast?"

Beth grimaced. "Not much. Maybe some yogurt." His silence was a loud enough response – a reminder that he didn't like how she starved herself in the morning.

 _Oh well._ She stepped into the shower, quickly washing herself, eager to spend the last few minutes of the morning with him before he went back to New York. _Only until Friday._

 _Shit. Friday._

She groaned into the cleansing spray; she'd agreed to go to dinner with Col on Friday – _that_ is what her brain couldn't remember last night. She had to tell Darcy. Like now. This was her life and if he wanted to be a part of it, he had to know that Col was a part of it too – not like he suspected and not like Col wanted, but still a part of it.

Shutting off the water, she took one last breath of the steamy air before sliding the door open exposing her to the chill of the room. She walked back into the bedroom; Darcy was nowhere to be seen.

For a second, her heart stopped thinking that he had left again. _Had Col texted her? Had he shown up?_ Now that she remembered about the dinner, she was paranoid that Darcy knew before she had the chance to tell him and that he'd bolted in response.

" _Shit_. _"_ Beth heard the word uttered from the kitchen and her whole body was released from its paralysis.

 _He was still here._

Tucking the end of the towel in securely around her, she walked out into the kitchen to find Darcy trying to figure out how to make coffee using her pour-over stand. His head jerked up when she entered the room. Her apartment was in an older building and the floors seemed to creak with every step.

"Sorry, I was trying to make coffee for us," he apologized as he grabbed paper towels to wipe up the small mess he'd made on the countertop.

"It's ok," Beth replied, walking over to help him. "What happened? Do you not know how to work a pour-over?" A smile spread over her face as she teased him.

His eyes narrowed on her, not appreciating being made fun of. "I do, in fact, know how. I just wasn't paying attention when I started pouring the water in and it overflowed and I tried to grab a paper towel to stop it which ended in me burning my hand."

Her smile quickly faded when she heard that he had burned himself. A quick glance at his hand confirmed the event; it was bright red.

"Well, let me help you," she insisted, trying to take the towel from his hand.

"I'm fine," he said quickly, holding the towel out of her reach. "Thank you." Their eyes locked in a stare-down, hers wondering if he was really ok, and his wondering if she was going to let him clean up his mess.

Beth broke the silence first. "Are you –" Her question cut off as his lips dropped to hers, stealing the syllables before they could make their sound. He released her when he was convinced she wasn't going to ask him again.

Darcy turned to throw away the soaking paper towels filled with water and coffee grounds when she blurted out, "I can't go to dinner with you on Friday."

"Ok…" he said, turning to face her, pain and perplexity written on his face. "You can't go to dinner with me at all or just on Friday?"

 _That wasn't the question she was expecting._

She expected him to demand 'why not' or something along those lines.

"No, just on Friday," she clarified. She paused, thinking for a second that she would wait for him to now ask why before she realized that was the cowardly thing to do, hide from the truth. "I'm sorry," she continued. "I forgot that I have a work dinner with Col that night. The Contest is next weekend and we have to do a test run of the menu that is going to be offered for the after-party. I'm sorry, he just asked me about it yesterday which is why it slipped my mind." Her explanation came out slightly rushed, trying to inform him calmly and as reassuringly as she could that it really was a work thing.

Beth could see that the thought of her going to dinner with Col was upsetting to him. Even though it was technically for work, Darcy knew just as well as she did that Colin wasn't looking at it that way. She held her breath waiting for the hammer to fall – for Darcy to tell her that she couldn't go or that Col was capable of tasting it on his own.

"Ok. Saturday, then?"

Beth blinked twice, staring blankly at Darcy. She heard the words, she saw his mouth move, and yet she was struggling to believe that those two things had happened in sync.

"I… umm… yes," she stuttered. "Saturday works."

She watched intently as he just nodded his head, his mouth thinning as he returned to the task in front of him. His calm acceptance of her plans ironically only magnified her guilt about having them and her need to reassure him that she only had feelings for him.

Her bare feet padded softly over to him as he watched the coffee drain into her mug.

"It's not like that between Colin and I, I want you to know," she whispered.

"Maybe for you, but are you sure it isn't for him?" he asked, his tone reflecting nothing but sadness and insecurity.

She bit her lip, unable to deny that it wasn't like that for Col, because it was and it was partially her fault.

"There was a time in the recent past when I thought there could be something between us. Honestly, I wanted there to be something between him and I so that I could forget about you," she admitted. His gaze turned to lock with hers. "What he thinks and feels is partially my fault and that's exactly what I'm going to explain to him on Friday when I tell him that I know that there can be nothing between him and I."

Darcy's stare bored into her; she knew the question that was burning in his mind.

"We've kissed," she confessed bluntly, meeting that stare and refusing to cower from him. "I'd hoped it meant that I was, in fact, able to move on from you. The only thing it proved though, is that there will never be anyone but you. _I am yours,"_ she finished, echoing his sentiment from last night.

She stared at him, waiting for him to make the next move, still waiting for the anger to explode. She saw his irritation brewing underneath the surface – his jaw clenching, his hand fisting on the countertop.

"Mine?" he said.

Beth wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement, but her lips responded anyway. " _Yours."_

A harsh breath pushed its way out from between his lips, a storm brewing in his eyes. Still, she didn't let go of his gaze.

"I need you," he said hoarsely, his voice cracking with the emotions raging through him; the possessiveness he felt making his entire body tremble.

Beth bit her lip, her eyes blinking back the tears of relief that gathered. What she'd been expecting of this conversation, well…it wasn't that.

"I am yours to take," she answered, her heart bursting with the need to reassure him of that in whatever way he needed.

His hands on her waist, he spun her towards the counter, her hands instinctively reaching out to grab the edge in order to steady herself from the sudden movement. A swift flick of his wrist had her towel pooled around her feet so that she stood completely naked bent over the countertop.

One hand reached around her, pinching her nipple, which she heard the other undoing his belt buckle. His finger moved from her breast down to spread her folds, circling over her clit, trying to prepare her for his imminent invasion.

 _Zipper. Rustle._

Beth gasped feeling the blunt head of his erection push into her not-quite-ready passage. He groaned both at the discomfort he'd caused her and the feel of being inside of her, claiming her as his. With one hand on her back, he remained perfectly still; the only thing moving were his fingers over her core, raising her desire to match his own.

It didn't take long.

In moments, her mouth had parted, gasping breathlessly as his fingers teased her, the torment made worse by the stillness of his cock inside of her. Her legs shook, her body vibrating as he controlled the ebb and flow that would lead to her release.

" _Please, Darcy,"_ she begged. " _I am yours."_

He let out a shout and began to drive into her wildly. Beth felt herself pushing against the counter so that she didn't go crashing into the coffee with the forcefulness of his thrusts.

The friction of him moving inside of her combined with the unwavering touch of his fingers was everything that she needed to send herself over the edge. She gasped his name, her hips undulating as the pleasure rolled through her.

Darcy groaned. " _I. Am. Yours."_ His words punctuated each thrust just before his orgasm rocketed through him.

They stood there unmoving for several minutes, both coming down from a body-consuming high. Their breaths slowed. Darcy reached around, covering her breasts with his hands, pulling her up to stand back, flush against him.

Beth sighed, her head relaxing back onto his shoulder. He leaned down, gently kissing her neck, sending shivers down her body.

"Thank you," he whispered.

She turned her head towards his. "Thank you," she returned, and then added, "For making us coffee." She smiled as she teased him.

He arched an eyebrow at her, extending his arm to grab the cup off of the counter in front of them. "Don't thank me until you try it," he countered, holding the mug in front of her.

Taking the mug from his hands, she took a long sip of the darkly brewed liquid. It was good, but it was nothing compared to what it felt like to be standing in her kitchen, completely naked, drinking coffee, _with Darcy's cock still pulsing inside of her._

"I don't think I've ever enjoyed coffee quite like this before," she replied seductively.

He growled and pulled out of her. "Keep that up and you'll be missing work today, missy."

"You can't miss your flight," she countered, deviousness glinting in her eyes.

"Try me." The seriousness of his tone dropped all teasing from her face.

 _He wouldn't think twice about missing his plane, that was for damn sure._

His arms came around her, pulling her even closer to him when his phone buzzed on the counter.

Darcy groaned and Beth thought he was going to ignore it for a second, but when it continued to buzz, he pulled his away from her with a muffled curse. Grabbing the offending piece of technology, he answered it before he even looked at who was calling.

"Hello?" The irritation in his voice was clear. As he realized who was calling though, Beth saw his face soften, the annoyance draining away.

"Good," he answered, his eyes glancing to Beth before he turned and walked into her living room, not that that was going to prevent her from hearing his side of the conversation. "I'll be back in town today; I'm not sure if I'll be able to see you this week." Pause. "Yeah, I'll call you." Pause. "Ok, bye."

Beth eyed him curiously, wondering who that was. It reminded her of the conversation she'd heard when they'd been at the hotel for Jane's wedding.

He turned back to her. "Where were we?" he said with a devious smile.

 _Oh no, he wasn't getting off that easily._

"Who was that?" she asked firmly with a look that said she wasn't going to accept 'business' as an answer to this question.

Darcy looked down at his phone, sliding it between his fingers as he debated whether or not to tell her – or what to tell her – about the person who was calling.

Beth felt her frustration with every millisecond that passed without a sound from his mouth – without the truth and openness that he had promised her. She knew she was emotional from everything that was going on but she couldn't help the pressure that was building in her chest and the tears that were welling in her eyes.

He was closing her off again – just like he had before. She felt him pulling farther away from her with every breath that she took; the walls erecting inside of him to keep her at a distance from something that he felt that he couldn't share.

 _This isn't what she wanted. This was exactly what she had feared._

She drank the last of the coffee in her cup, setting it down a little too harshly on the counter. The noise cause Darcy to look up sharply at her.

She didn't meet his eyes. "It's ok," she said quickly, her voice thick with emotion. "You don't have to tell me, it's fine." She wrapped her towel tightly around her. "I guess I should go get ready for work then."

Beth stood to walk around the counter, needing to put some space between them.

"Beth.. _."_ She heard him curse coming up behind her. His hand grabbed onto her arm, spinning her towards him.

She didn't even bother to try to hide the tears that had stained her face.

" _Christ,_ " he uttered again, his hand coming up to cup her face, his thumbs trying to erase the moisture that had tainted it. She didn't say a word, trying to control her breathing so that it didn't come out as choppy as it wanted to. "I'm sorry, gorgeous," he whispered. "I'm sorry. It's not… I don't want you to think…" He growled. His words weren't coming out the way that he wanted them to.

Beth tried to pull her face from him. For a second his hands tightened on her before releasing to let her move freely.

"It was Megan," he rasped.

She'd barely begun to turn her head from him, but at his words, it snapped back to him with inquisitive attentiveness.

"Who's Megan?" she asked, remembering that that was the same person that had texted him the night that she had left. She also had a feeling that it was the same person who he'd been on the phone with in his room at the Castle Hotel.

Beth felt a twisting in her stomach, the uncomfortable pain that stung like jealousy. She'd convinced herself that he couldn't have been seeing someone else – not after what everyone had say and not after everything that had and was happening between them, but still the feel spread through her like a cancer, infecting every cell of her with doubt as she waited for him to answer.

Just when she thought he wasn't going to answer again, his eyes shut tightly and he replied, "She's been helping me."

"Helping you how? Helping you do what?" she asked again, her voice thick with the confused emotions that spread through her.

She waited because he was answering her; he was struggling to do it – it was painful for him, that much was clear – but he was going it. _For her._

"When you left, Charles introduced me to her so that she could help me," he began.

 _Help him what? Forget her?_

" _Not_ like that," he continued harshly, seeing the question written all over her face. "She's a therapist, Beth. She's my therapist."

Beth felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Her mouth parted – an attempt to regain the lost oxygen, but nothing came in.

 _He'd gone to see a therapist because of her?_

"After Charles and I ended up at your parent's house and I learned that you had left, I was a mess. Talking to your father gave me some perspective on the situation – why you left and how what I had said contributed to that – but it wasn't enough." His voice broke; the emotion that he'd been trying to hold back seeped into his voice.

"You went to see a therapist…" she whispered breathlessly, gazing into his eyes.

"I was lost. When Charles and I left, I didn't know what to do. I want to chase after you; the need to get you back burned inside of me. But, at the same time, after what your father told me I knew that who I was wouldn't be enough to keep you, even if I managed to smooth over what I had done; even if you forgave me for what I said, it wouldn't have been enough in the long run."

Beth just stared at him, listening to the truth that was woven into every word he spoke, every fiber in his body, every look that emanated from his eyes.

"I was so lost and it made me so angry because I felt helpless. I don't know the last time that I felt helpless like that; the worst part is that I didn't feel that way because of something that someone else had done, I felt that way because of myself. I only had myself to blame."

She saw his face change as he remembered the frustration he had experienced in that moment. Beth felt his hands begin to leave her face, pulling away from her in disappointment with himself. Her hands shot up to cover over his, keeping them planted on her cheeks, her thumbs rubbing gently over the backs of his fingers – a small gesture of support.

"I was a mess, Beth. Charles stepped in; he made me come stay with him for the next few days. He waited patiently for me to try to sort things out, gently leading me towards the conclusion that he finally suggested. He finally sat me down and told me that I needed to talk to someone professionally about what had happened to me – not just with you, but before you." Darcy sighed, his head dropping in defeat. "I knew it at that point, too. If I wanted to be able to give you what you needed, what you deserved, I needed to fix my shit. I told you, gorgeous, I will do whatever it takes to be with you – even if that means, or meant, getting professional help."

Beth continued to listen to him in amazement. "How long? And why haven't you told me until now?"

 _Why would he hide this from her? Wouldn't this show her the lengths he was willing to go to for her?_

"Four months. These past four months. Aside from work, I've been drowning myself in efforts to work through my control and trust issues. I was going to see her almost every day, but the past month or so, it's been once a week – sometimes more as it got closer to Charles' wedding," he answered her first question. "I should have talked to someone a long time ago. I know that I've learned a lot – grown a lot since I've been going to see Megan. I didn't want to admit it at first, but there's just no denying it. If Charles hadn't intervened, I don't know what would have happened to me."

"That's why you said those things in your speech at the wedding…" Beth mused out loud, remembering the part of his toast that had confused her with its apparent deeper meaning. Now, she understood just what an impact Charles had had on him recently.

"If it wasn't for Charles pushing me, arguing with me, some weeks even walking me to the door because I felt like I wasn't making any progress. If he hadn't encouraged me in the beginning and along every step of the way, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be with you; you wouldn't want to be with me." His hands began to caress her face again, tenderness etching itself back onto his features. "In spite of everything that he did, if it wasn't for you – for the thought of being able to get you back for good – I don't know what would have happened. I probably would have lost all feeling left in whatever is beating in my chest."

"Darcy," Beth choked. "I don't know what to say. I can't believe you went to talk to someone… for me… I know how hard that must have been for you." She admitted; no, it would definitely not have been as easy feat for the old intolerable Darcy to admit to a fault, let alone admit that he needed someone else's help to fix it. "Why wouldn't you tell me this from the start though?"

A brief, harsh laugh escaped his lips, his eyes glistening. "What was I going to say? 'Hi, Beth. Sorry for treating you like shit for months, but I'm seeing a therapist now so you should forgive me and take me back'?"

Beth pursed her lips. "Well, not those exact words…"

"Oh, Beth. Our whole relationship all I did was tell you things and expect you to believe them, to do them, to not do them… My actions rarely coincided with my words; no, most times they loudly contradicted my words. One of the things that I've come to realize is that especially with you, I don't want to treat you like that. My actions shouldn't cause you to question what I tell you. And I didn't want to start off whatever was possible between us on the same foot."

Beth just nodded, the lump in her throat growing over his thoughtfulness and concern.

"I didn't want you to just believe that I've changed because I told you or showed you a therapist's bill," he explained hoarsely. "I wanted you to see it with your own eyes; I wanted you to feel it in your heart – that it wasn't a lie or an exaggeration. I wanted you to be able to be confident in your decision to be with me." His eyes brimmed with just how much he wanted her to be confident in him and his feelings for her.

"You thought I wouldn't believe you?" she asked over the tears clogging her throat.

"No." He shook his head. "I knew that you would. But, I don't deserve that. I don't deserve that blind trust from you – especially after how I've treated you."

"Oh Darcy…" she murmured.

"But more than that," he continued with determination, "I'm not fixed. I'm farther than where I was, but I'm not where I need to be. Having to prove to you that I can be the man that you deserve keeps me on that path and keeps my reason for doing all of this concretely in front of me, lighting my way."

 _She was his reason_. She saw it written all over his face.

"I'm sorry that I haven't told you until now. I know it goes against what I promised you. I promised you openness and honestly and at the same time, I've been keeping this from you. I just couldn't use it as a get-out-of-jail-free card. I wouldn't… I hope you can forgive me." His thumbs rubbed rhythmically over her cheeks, removing the tears that trailed down her face.

"I can't believe you thought you thought you had to keep this from me," Beth choked out. "I would have believed you because I have _faith_ in you! I know that change takes time, especially when you've been through what you have. I know that it's a process – a process that I want to be a part of. I _want_ to be there for you; please, let me be." Her plea ended softly.

 _It was the only thing that she had ever wanted._

"God, Beth, there's nothing I want more than that. I just –"

"I know," she cut him off. "I know; you didn't want to give yourself the easy way out. But you need to cut yourself some slack. Getting professional help is only one part of the equation – you need to allow the people around you who care about you to be your support system."

"You're right." His jaw clenched and his hands dropped from her face. "I just… It doesn't matter. I should have told you sooner. Beth, can you forgive me?" Fear shone in his eyes, worried that he'd ruined everything for the last time.

"Oh, Darcy," she whispered. "I know what you were thinking. I understand it, but I also have more faith in you than you think I do – or than you have for yourself. I just want you to know that I'm here for you – good or bad."

His eyes bored into hers, waiting for her answer to his question.

"So, yes, I can forgive you," she said softly, tears streaming down her face as her hands reached up to clasp the sides of his face. "Of course, I can forgive you – _I love you."_

Her words seemed to freeze everything around them. The moment stopped, complete silence enclosing them.

 _It was the first time since they'd been back together that she had uttered those three life-changing words._

 _It was the first time either of them had._

 _And he knew it._

He kissed her softly, as though he hesitated to believe her words, feeling like he didn't deserve them. "Beth, I love you," he said, softly. "I never stopped."

Tenderly, they kissed each other. It seemed the final veil between them had been shed and they were finally free to love the other with nothing standing between them.

Beth kissed him with all the love that she felt, all the love that she wanted to give him to show Darcy that she would be there for him. He hadn't come after her before because he needed to change for her. Now that he had her in his life again, he was plagued with self-doubt that he wasn't perfect, that he was going to make a mistake to ruin it, that he hadn't changed enough. She kissed him to show him that it was ok; _that he was enough._

 _He was more than enough._

"I meant it," she whispered. "And I will prove _that_ to you, but right now you need to get to the airport."

"I know," he said quietly. Beth nodded in silence, her eyes falling to her mug that she held in both hands. He walked over, tipping her chin up so she could meet his gaze. "I'll be back on Friday."

She swallowed hard, not wanting to bring up that she had the work dinner with Col that night.

As if he could read her thoughts on her face, he finished softly, "I'll see you after your dinner?" It wasn't even a statement, it was a question. _He_ was wondering if she wanted to see him then.

"Yes." The word rushed from her lips. "Friday night. I'll leave a key for you downstairs." She said the last breathlessly as his lips touched hers again. One last second where the puzzle of her life – of their love – seemed to be fit into place.

And then he was gone, picking up his bags and striding out her door. His steps forcefully carrying him away from her before he convinced himself otherwise.

Beth knew he could stay if he wanted. _And, she knew he wanted to; he only left to give her space._

She'd run back to Boston so quickly after the wedding – after her night with Darcy – to sort through her feelings about him and everything that she'd learned; he'd followed her to make sure that she knew where his feelings stood and what she meant to him – _and that he wasn't going to let her go again, unless she asked him to_. Assured that she finally knew that, he again put the ball back in her court promising his return, but giving her some time to think through everything – alone – without the distraction of him. He had given her time to change her mind if this wasn't really what she wanted.

 _If he wasn't really what she wanted._

Beth felt her heart swell inside of her as she swirled her spoon in her yogurt. Glancing at the clock, she realized she needed to get going. Putting her bowl in the sink, she grabbed her stuff from where she'd set it down last night and left for work.

She could spend the next few days in debate with herself over whether it not risking her heart on Darcy for the third time would be worth it. She could dwell on the pain that he'd caused in the past, on who he was, or she could stop tormenting herself with the what-ifs when she knew deep down that he was her one. Being alone felt empty and trying to move on with Col who was textbook, perfect-boyfriend material left her feeling nothing; only Darcy was able to reach inside and awaken her heart.

So, she would take the time, the few days without him to think, to be rational, but only about their future. She wanted him to be a part of her life, she needed him to be.

 _She didn't know how not to._


	23. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

 _Friday._

She'd woken up with her stomach in knots of excitement and anxiety; excitement because Darcy was coming back today and anxiety because she had to break the news to Col.

She hadn't heard from either of the two men in her life hardly at all over the past two days, which had really given her the space that she needed to focus completely on her feelings without being preoccupied by external distractions, good or bad. Darcy texted her once or twice a day – nothing major, just checking on her; Beth had a feeling that he wished he could have left her respectfully and completely alone, but didn't have that much restraint, not now after she'd told him that she was his.

Col she'd heard even less from which was even more strange. Maybe not texting, but she hadn't seen him in the office at all since Monday. She'd stopped to grab her own coffee this morning since Col had been absent the past few days. Beth couldn't decide whether that was a good or a bad thing. Part of her was relieved because she was struggling to decide on the best words to let him down easily without risking their friendship. The other part of her wished that he would just show up and force her hand – try to kiss her or something where she'd just have to suck it up and tell him what had happened; they maybe even dinner on Friday night wouldn't be necessary.

Good or bad – at this point, it didn't matter; she would see him later tonight.

Honestly, what had her more concerned about his absence was whether or not everything was ok for the Contest. The entire team had put in a ton of hours over the past few weeks to make sure that everything was ready to eliminate any last-minute scrambling; which mean that even though they would be super busy through next weekend, it shouldn't be to the point where Col was missing for days.

He'd texted her yesterday confirming that they were still on for dinner tonight, to which she'd responded 'yes,' but then never heard back from him. Her head jerked up at the knock on her office door, expecting it to be Col, but instead it was Hannah, his personal assistant.

"Hey, Hannah. What's up?" Beth asked with a smile on her face.

"Hi, Beth. I just wanted to let you know that the dinner tasting is at six tonight. Please tell me that Mr. Dempsey already talked to you about it." Like Beth, Hannah knew of Col's penchant for springing events on people on a relatively last-minute basis.

"Yes, he did," Beth reassured her.

"Oh, good." The woman smiled and turned to leave when Beth called out to her.

"Is everything ok? With Colin?" she asked. "I just haven't seen or heard from him since Monday."

"Oh, yeah. He's been running around like crazy – something having to do with the permits for the street closing for the event. I'm not sure; he barely was able to tell me that before he had to run."

"Oh. Ok," Beth replied. "Thanks."

At that, Hannah left and Beth wrinkled her brow wondering what had happened. She thought he'd gotten the permits sorted out last week.

Pulling out her laptop, she opened it up to check her email; the most recent unread message catching her eye. It was from Anne.

 _Or, at least, she thought it was from Anne._

The email address was from: annedb .

Beth stared at it for a minute in shock. She hadn't talked to Anne since she'd left New York months ago and she felt so guilty about it. They'd become friends and then Beth had just left with no word or no explanation to her, even after her emotions had calmed down. She'd tried to shut out everyone and every possible complication from her life, and then by the time she'd starting letting those closest to her back in – like Jane and her father – she felt like it was too late to contact Anne.

 _Which was dumb, it was never too late._

She just felt so guilty for leaving her in the dark and then came the thoughts about the position that she would be putting Anne in since Anne was friends with Darcy. To have to explain to her why she left…she felt like she would be taking away from Darcy someone who he actually cared about and who cared about him, and in spite of what she thought he'd done, he didn't have many of those people in his life and Beth couldn't think to take one of them away

 _But now, Anne was emailing her._

Her email address was another thing that set Beth's wheels turning. She thought Anne worked with her mom at DeBourgh Diamonds, except this address was clearly under Fitz Corp. Unless Darcy had another Anne that worked there.

Beth bit her lip as she clicked on the message. _Time to find out._

 _Hi Beth,_

 _I know we haven't talked in a long time, so I hope you aren't upset that I'm emailing you now. I wanted to respect your privacy, but there's something that you might want to know. I don't have your number otherwise I would have called. If you could give me a call when you have a free minute, I think that would be best._

 _Hope all is well,_

 _Anne_

She read the message three times, letting the words sink in. Well, it was definitely Anne and she definitely needed to call her. Beth's hands shook slightly as she dug in her bag for her cell phone, pulling up Anne's contact in her computer and dialing her number. Her breathing became shallow as the phone rang, waiting for Anne to answer.

"Hello?" came Anne's familiar, sedate voice on the other end of the line.

"Hey, Anne. It's Beth. I, um, just got your email."

"Oh my gosh, Beth! Thank you for calling me," Anne replied, the relief in her voice flowed over the line. "How have you been? I'm so sorry to have to email you like that and intrude. I know you left for a reason and I didn't mean to invade your space." Beth's stomach clenched with regret for making her friend feel this way.

"No, Anne. I'm so sorry. I've been meaning to call you," she began, the words sounding lame even to her ears. "No, that's not quite true. I didn't know if I should call you after what had happened." Beth sighed as her worries tumbled out. "At first, I did just need to be alone; I was hurt and in shock. But, I should have reached out to you to at least let you know that I was ok. I wasn't thinking clearly then, but once I began to contact some of my family, I didn't know if I should call you. I felt like you were Darcy's friend first – I mean, almost like family to him for how long you've known each other; in spite of everything he did, or I thought he did at the time, I didn't want to call you only to tear him down." She stopped here to catch her breath, only slightly embarrassed by her rambling.

"Oh, no, please. Don't worry about it. I don't know exactly what happened, but I knew that it was something bad, especially if it caused you to leave. I mean, even though I'm Darcy's friend, I wouldn't have held it against you or him if you had reached out; I just want you to know. You are both my friends; I would have been there for both of you, especially since I've seen how much you both love…or loved…each other and I don't see how you couldn't make it through anything."

Beth smiled teary against the phone.

"Thank you," she said. "I'm such a jerk though for keeping you out of the loop. I just…so many things were wrong. I was afraid that anything I did would make them worse."

"I understand, trust me, I do," Anne replied with a weight to her voice that Beth could only appreciate as sincere solidarity with her sentiment. "For the record, Darcy told me what he said to you. When I found out that you left, I made him tell me I was so upset with him. I laid into him for what he did, even though by the time he told me I think he'd punished himself far worse than my words ever could."

Beth chuckled softly, grateful for forgiveness and good friends.

"I don't know what else he told you," Beth continued, the distraction of talking with such a caring and close friend causing her to completely forget the whole reason that she'd called Anne in the first place. "But, I went to his apartment the following morning, I guess before he got there, but not before Caroline did."

"Oh no!" Anne gasped in shock.

"Yeah," she confirmed. "So, that's why – partially – I left in such a hurry. I was just in complete shock to see her there after everything that Darcy had said to me the night before, that it didn't even dawn on me that I didn't actually see _him_ there with her; I was so upset and I just assumed."

"Oh Beth, how could you have known or had enough capacity to really think about that after seeing Caroline there? You can't beat yourself up over it; I just can't believe that all this time, you thought he was back with her…"

"I know," she agreed. "So, when I was home for Jane's wedding she encouraged me to talk to him and then after hearing what he did for my younger sister, I had to confront him about it; let's face it – after five months of it weighing on me, there was no way I couldn't say anything to him. And that's when he told me the truth about what had happened."

"He told me that she'd been in his apartment and how he and Charles walked in on her in the nude," Anne laughed. "She deserves as much. Anyway, he said he got a restraining order after that."

"Only for him to agree sort of waive it so that they both could attend Charles' wedding and support him."

"I didn't even think about that! Honestly, after I yelled at him and he told me the whole story, I haven't really talked to him much more about it."

"Yeah, he hoped that she would be respectful of her brother and the importance of the day, but – surprise, surprise – she couldn't keep her hands to herself; she kissed him on the dance floor in front of me and the other guests. His parents had to have her removed from the reception," Beth continued the tale.

"Oh my God! What a psycho bitch! Poor Charles – I can't even imagine what it felt like to have his sister disrespect him like that."

"Yeah. I think that is what instigated me to go talk to Darcy, after seeing that. It didn't make sense – well, a lot of things that day didn't make sense if he had chosen to be with her instead of me."

"So, then he told you what really happened and you made up?" Anne asked hopefully.

Beth laughed. "Something like that." The smile those memories evoked spread like welcome sunlight over her face.

"Is he in Boston with you now?"

"Yes. Well, no. He was on Monday, but he went back to the city for a few days – I think to give me some time to process everything that has happened, but he's coming back up tonight. I mean, Caroline wasn't the only issue between us. The things he said, how he treated me, it's not like learning the truth about that morning flipped a switch and made everything ok again," Beth continued to confide in her, the relief of being able to talk to someone about this lifting some of the weight from her shoulders. Since Jane was on her honeymoon, she'd assumed that her options for who talk to were limited.

"I'm sure."

"He's told me that he's changed – that me leaving was for the best because he didn't deserve me. He doesn't just want me to take his word for it though, he wants to prove it to me, which is why he left for a few days, I think, to give me a chance to decide is that's what I want."

"Is it?" Anne asked bluntly.

"Yes."

 _One word. One syllable. It rolled off her tongue so simply, so smoothly._

Beth knew what her decision was probably before Darcy even made it out the door this morning, but until now, she'd only admitted it to herself after reviewing the pros and cons. When Anne asked, there was none of that debate. Her answer had come straight from her heart with what she knew to be true; even if it killed her, she would give Darcy as many chances as he asked.

Anne sighed on the other end. "Oh, good." Her happy relief a welcome sound to Beth's ears. "Like I said, I haven't talked to him that much – I've been crazy with work, but I know what he told me when we did talk and I know what he's been… doing… these past few months to be the man he wants to be. For you."

Anne's reassurance further put her mind at ease. "Speaking of work… your email came from Fitz Corp…" Beth trailed off, wondering what the story was behind that.

"Oh, right! Sorry, talking about Darcy got me side-tracked, sort of – even though it kind of has to do with what I emailed you about."

"Oh crap! I completely forgot about that. I'm so sorry. It's just all been a lot of emotions and thinking these past few days and I haven't been able to really talk to anyone about it and then when I called you, it just all kind of tumbled out. Shit, I can't believe I did that," Beth groaned, taking another sip of her coffee.

"It's ok. I have the time to talk now, plus I've missed you; you know I don't have that many close friends – or friends, really – so, I don't mind at all, but I do need to tell you some stuff."

Beth nodded to the empty room in front of her as she said, "of course! Go ahead, I'm zipping my lips."

"Well, first about work. Yes, the email came from Fitz Corp because I work there now. I'm not sure the exact order in which everything happened, but Caroline approached my mom before her art show, as you know. I didn't know what they talked about at the time, but after the show and hearing what they said to Darcy, I realized what Caroline had come to my mother for: an ally against you," Anne sighed, pain entering into her tone as she continued to speak about her mom. "The next part is where I'm uncertain which happened first – whether it was the restraining order that prompted her or the fact that her thirtieth birthday came and went and she had run out of funds, Caroline and my mother took their arrangement a step further."

Beth held her breath at the new information that Anne was revealing.

"I also don't know if Charles told his parents what occurred between Darcy and their daughter – or part of it; I'm thinking that he must have because the rift between the Bingley's and Caroline became even deeper. Although refusing to give her any funds after the timeline on her trust ran out could also account for it…" she trailed off pondering the possibilities for a moment. "Either way, Caroline needed permanent support so, she came back to my mom to extend their arrangement indefinitely; she told her this sob story about how you and Jane had poisoned her parents against her and that's why the cut off her funding and that since it was because of her that you had left Darcy, that she should be even greater compensated."

"I'm surprised your mother agreed to something like that," Beth interjected, astonished that Mrs. DeBourgh would do something for anyone other than herself or Anne.

"I think my mother knows that Caro had her own reasons for breaking you and Darcy up – reasons that would conflict with her delusional plan for Darcy and I – and that keeping Caroline close and dependent on her was safer than having her find that support elsewhere."

 _That did make sense._

"I didn't know any of this until my mom told me that Caroline would be moving in with us for a short time until she found a more suitable apartment," Anne continued. "When I asked why and got the full story, I refused. I couldn't take it – I couldn't take her anymore. I told her what a horrible person Caroline was and that I couldn't believe my mother had helped her and was continuing to do so. And then I was so worked up that I told her that I would never marry Darcy, that we never had any plans to marry, that it was all just for show. I really shocked her; I don't know when the last time – if ever – I stood up to her like that."

"Oh wow, Anne." Beth couldn't believe she'd finally admitted to the farce that her and Darcy had kept up for her mom all this time.

"So, I packed my things and I left. I told her I didn't want to hear from her and that I wanted no part of DeBourgh diamonds. At which point, I realized the enormity of what I'd done and only slightly freaked out. Of course, I called Darcy first to let him know that my mother was no longer under _any_ illusions about us. And then I broke down."

"I'm sure! You've been keeping that from her for so long…"

"I just couldn't take her anymore. Her own ridiculous schemes were one thing and needed to stop, but when she involved herself with Caroline, who is certifiably insane, I just cracked."

"I'm sorry," Beth murmured, even though it was a good thing in the long run, she felt for her friend; standing up to her mother was so hard for Anne when her entire life she'd tried to do everything to please her.

"Don't be, Beth. I'm just glad it's all finally out there; a huge weight was lifted off of my chest. I'm in a much better place now. Darcy got me a job in the accounting department at Fitz which I'm really enjoying – who knew numbers were my thing? I have my own place; I'm starting to make my own friends. It's a new beginning for me."

"I'm glad to hear that at least."

"I emailed you though, because I went to get the remainder of my things from my mom's place the yesterday and I overheard her and Caroline talking; I didn't think anyone was going to be home and since I let myself in, they didn't realize anyone else was there," Anne explained. "I overheard Caroline say that she was going to go up to Boston."

 _God, no._

"I'm sorry, Beth. I think she is realizing that my mother's generosity is only extending so far and soon she will be forced to move out and be back on her own, especially since I left, I think my mother is finally realizing what her schemes are really costing her," she surmised. "When I heard that though, I didn't know what to do. I didn't hear anything else, but especially now that you told me that Darcy was up there and you are working on reconciling, and after everything that happened at the wedding, I'm even more concerned."

Her mouth felt like sand as she tried to find the words to respond.

"Thank you for telling me," she managed to get out thickly over the wall of fear that was building in her throat.

"Maybe since Darcy was back these past few days, she won't go," Anne offered. "I'm sure the she or my mother have some way of knowing that information."

"Yeah…maybe…" Beth tried to sound comforted.

"I'm sorry, Beth. I just wanted you to know so you could be prepared."

"No, really, thank you. I will. I'm going to tell Darcy tonight so that we can be prepared."

"Ok. Be careful. I know I don't need to tell you that, but be careful, please."

"I will," she tried to reassure her friend. "I should get back to work though." They'd been on the phone for almost an hour.

"Yeah, me too. I'm so glad I got to talk to you. Please let me know if I can do anything."

"You've already done so much, Anne. Thank you. I'm sorry again for not reaching out soon; I was an idiot, but I think I'm better now." A weak excuse for a laugh left her lips. "We'll talk soon, ok?"

"Ok."

Beth hung up the phone and stared out blankly in front of her.

 _Caroline was coming._


	24. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

She had hoped that Darcy would be there when she got back to her apartment, but just as she walked in the door her phone buzzed with a text from him.

\- _Just boarding._

She'd wanted to talk to him about Caroline as soon as possible, but she had a feeling that he was purposefully getting in after she left for dinner because he was worried he wouldn't be able to control himself enough to let her go if he was physically here.

She dumped her bag onto the kitchen stool and went into her bedroom to quickly change. Her heartbeat picked up at the sight of her bed completely messed, remembering how it became that way. Warmth spread through her body as she threw on a flowy, mid-thigh length skirt and a simple, white fitted t-shirt – both of which she'd grabbed from her old room, along with a few other things to add to her non-existent, non-work wardrobe. With a pair of wedges, she looked cute but still semi-professional – in her opinion.

Turning to walk back out of the room had her glancing at the bed one more time, wondering what was in store for tonight; the thought stopped her in her tracks. Biting her lip between her teeth only partially stopped the devious smile that spread over her face as she reached up underneath her skirt and pulled off her underwear.

 _Just a little something to welcome Darcy home with…or without._

With a satisfied smile, she tossed the thong into her hamper and walked back into the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of wine from what was left of the bottle that Darcy had brought. She hadn't touched it all week, but right now the imminent task of breaking up with Col, even though they weren't technically together, was an anxiety that she didn't need with the threat of Caroline coming to Boston.

She had one sip left when she heard a knock on the door. With a fear that she hadn't felt in months, she looked through the peep-hole this time before opening it – confirming that it was in fact Col on the other side and not a Crazy Bitch.

"Hey there, beautiful," he greeted her. His face lighting up with a smile on seeing her as his hand extended with a bouquet of white roses.

 _Shit, this was going to be hard._

Beth felt her stomach turn at the excitement on his face, knowing she was about to wipe it off.

"Hey," she replied, her lips struggling to return his smile as she took the flower from him. "You didn't have to get me these."

"Actually, I did," he informed her. "Mostly because I've been remiss in my coffee duties practically all week without warning you, which in my book is akin to cruel-and-unusual punishment."

Beth couldn't help but laugh as she brought the flowers inside, putting them inside the same pitcher that she'd just cleaned out from the last set of flowers that he'd brought.

"Well, thank you. I did manage to survive… but just barely," she teased back. "So, where have you been? I was starting to get worried. Hannah said something about the permits." Beth saw his smile whither slightly when she asked.

"Yeah, something like that," he sighed. "I'll tell you about it at dinner. I think I need a glass of wine before that discussion." He joked to lighten the mood, except it only reminded Beth of the discussion that she needed to have with him.

 _And that one was probably going to be just as upsetting as, if not more than, the stupid permits._

"How was your week?" Col asked as they walked out her door.

"Pretty good – busy. But I think everything is pretty well under control for next week," Beth assured him, getting into the car that was waiting outside for them.

"Awesome. I'm probably going to be pretty MIA next week, too, with everyone kind of arriving throughout the week."

"You're going to greet them all?" she asked in astonishment. They had over five hundred participants signed up to participate in the Contest.

"Of course, I can't greet all of them," Col said with a laugh. "But, I can try." He winked. Beth just stared at him incredulously, unsure if he was really serious or not. "You are really gullible today, Miss Bennet," he continued, laughing even more. "I try to make my rounds through the hotels throughout the week, greeting participants as they come. Mostly, I try to make it around to those who've participated in the past to make sure they know how much I value their continued support."

Beth sighed, letting out a soft laugh at herself. "Sorry – I guess this week has really drained my brain." _She'd have to tell him just how much soon._

Col grabbed her hand and squeezed, giving her a warm smile. He continued to talk about what the next week had in store for him – meeting guests, dinner plans, small group speaking engagements with those who had family members currently in treatment at the Dempsey Center, tours of the center for high profile investors, etc.

Before she knew it, they were seated at their table and the first course was about to arrive any minute. She chewed her lip nervously, realizing that she'd already finished half of her glass of wine, mindlessly distracted and involved in their conversation about work.

"So, what happened with the permits?" she finally asked, taking a bite of her salad.

"Ugh, man," he sighed. "Any way I can get a second glass of wine down before we talk about that?" He laughed. "No, I'm kidding. Just a very sore subject that's been plaguing me all week."

"Sorry," Beth apologized quietly, waiting for him to continue.

"Alright, well you know that I told you last week that I got all of the permits for the road closures squared away?" he began, waiting for her to nod that she remembered that discussion before continuing. "Well, I get a call Monday afternoon – and by afternoon, I mean at four-thirty just before they leave for the day – that two of the permits weren't submitted properly and that one of the other ones wasn't submitted altogether."

"What?" Beth gasped. She'd been there when they'd gone through all of the paperwork to make sure that every 't' was crossed and every 'i' was dotted.

"Yeah," he said, letting out a harsh laugh. "So, first I just assumed that it must be an error. Which, fine, it happens, but it was the end of the day so there wasn't much I could do at that point and the woman who called me was just a secretary, so she didn't know very much." He paused as the waiter came to clear their plates, preparing the table for the main course. "Are you liking everything so far?" Col asked her, briefly changing subjects to make sure the purpose of their meal wasn't forgotten.

"Oh, yes! Excellent so far. I think everyone will really enjoy it," she nodded enthusiastically.

"Good," Col nodded. "So, Tuesday, I call the city again. Finally spoke to someone who had personally handled the permits, who insisted to me that the one was definitely missing and that the others were marked as not being completely properly."

Beth shook her head in disbelief. "I saw Hannah fill them out exactly as they instructed and we both looked over them a thousand times before mailing them in!"

"I told her that, but insisting was pointless. So, I asked her what wasn't filled out properly and if I could come down there and just correct it? It seemed like the logical fix to the problem, it's not like I haven't run this before and asked for these exact permits before."

Again, he paused as their main course was placed in front of them. Filet with vegetables and a risotto.

"At which point she 'sincerely apologized' but said that she wasn't sure where the errors had occurred since permits that were not completed or submitted properly were simply marked as such and then destroyed."

Beth choked on the sip of wine that she'd just taken. Her eyes widening in horror; without the permits the whole event was off. And the permits needed to be submitted at least four weeks before an event, which meant it was _far_ too late to just resubmit them.

"Yeah, that was pretty much my response," he replied, the weight of his anxiety now very clear in his voice.

"What are you going to do? What can I do? Is there really no way they can expedite this for us?" The questions flew off her tongue in rapid fire, her brain firing a thousand times a minute trying to go through all of the possibilities, all of the options that they still had before simply cancelling the entire Contest a week before it was supposed to happen.

"Well, just hold on. There's still more to the story. Something that I found out earlier today that you might be able to help me with, or at least help me understand," he continued, cutting into his steak.

"Ok…" _What does that mean? What could she possibly know about what had happened?_

"So, I know I sound fine now and I'm sure that's it's very hard to imagine, but I can get upset, and I did. I was very upset. I'm not proud of it, but boy, did I lay into the woman on the phone. It's just incredible that I've been doing this for how many years now and _this_ year we suddenly have an issue – a week before the event. At which point, she looked further into their computer trail and informed me that it looked like the documents had been approved initially over a week ago, but then were put back into a manual review, after which they were marked as 'Denied.'" The way he was even saying it to her implied his drift – that there was something fishy going on.

"After seeing that, even she agreed that something wasn't right. Honestly, whatever happened doesn't exactly matter at this point, the permits that we submitted have been destroyed and the most current record of them in their system has them marked as denied. The woman was pretty flustered about the whole thing. She said she would talk to her supervisor on Monday and she would have him give me a call. In the meantime, she offered to let me speak to the person who had filed in the computer that the documents hadn't been completely properly to see if that person had any more answers."

"How can I help? Do you want me to try and talk to her? Or whomever it was that reviewed the permits?" Beth asked.

"I already spoke with the woman. I went down there today to get to the bottom of this. It was a younger girl. She hasn't been working there for very long reviewing permits, but all she does it make sure that the required areas on the paperwork are completed," he continued as the waiter removed their dinner plates. "So, I asked her to pull up our application and see if she remembered anything about it. At first, she denied it, but once she saw the name come up on the screen, and she saw the sequence of the filed being approved, then changed by her to 'In Review', and finally, 'Denied,' her face turned beet red."

"Did she do it on purpose?" Beth asked, aghast, wondering why someone would do something like that. A pit of dread forming in her stomach.

"I could see she was afraid. I told her that I didn't care about punishing her or anything like that, I just needed to know what happened," Col said. "She looked like she was about to break down in tears so I wasn't about to berate her for it. Anyway, she apologized profusely and said that she'd gotten a call on Monday from someone who offered her twenty-thousand dollars to deny our permits."

Beth felt her mouth fall open.

"She's in school and her mom is sick, so she took the money, not even looking up what they were; she just went in and denied them, thinking that it was for some minor thing and not a huge event for the city. She kept apologizing and said that once she did it and realized, she was afraid what would happen if she changed it back. She said the woman who called knew about her and her family; she knew that the girl's mother was sick and in the hospital. Even though she hadn't been blackmailed, she was petrified that changing the status back and having the money would get her into bigger trouble."

"Oh my God. You have to go to the police, Col. You have to find out who did this and why," Beth interjected. "Who would do this? It's a fundraiser for charity – why would anyone want to harm that? Why would anyone want to harm you?"

"Hold your horses," he said, his hand coming up, motioning for her to slow down. "I don't want to go to the police; it's only going to get this girl in major trouble – and trust me, she's never going to do something like this again. I also don't need to go to the police because I know who did it."

Beth held her breath. The pit in her stomach growing. Her mind heard his answer before his lips moved.

"The woman on the phone introduced herself as Caroline Bingley."

The room disappeared around her. Beth saw his lips moving in slow-motion, pronouncing the name of the woman who still somehow managed to disrupt her life. She felt like the floor had fallen out from underneath her.

Yes, she'd expected Caroline to reappear at some point, after seeing what happened at the wedding, after talking to Anne and knowing that continuing a relationship with Darcy meant delving back into this psycho's crosshairs. But, she hadn't expected Caroline to claw her way into Beth's professional life to try and hurt her at the expense of Col and all of the others who benefited from this fundraiser.

Col sighed, draining the last of his wine. "Now, you see where I'm going with this. Do you have any idea why she would do that? I haven't given up yet; I have friends in high places in that office from doing this so many years, so I'm sure that we'll be able to get everything back up and running, but if this woman is out to ruin the Contest, I need to be prepared and I need to know why."

Beth nodded abruptly. "Of course," she managed to rasp out of her parched mouth. Reaching for her cup of water she took a long sip.

"I know you must have some history with her because of Charles. I saw what happened at the wedding, what she was like, some of the things that she said," he continued. "Do you know why she is doing this? What does she have against me?"

Beth shook her head frantically. "Not you. Me." She met his gaze; hers laden with guilt and sorrow for where this conversation was heading. She'd wanted to break it to him gently, not kick him when he was down, but Caroline had given her no choice. "She's trying to get to me. She's trying to punish me for taking Darcy from her."

 _There, she'd said it._

The words fell heavy like rocks between them, slowly building up a wall between amidst the easy friendship that they had formed.

"What do you mean?"

Beth felt tears forming in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Col. I didn't want to tell you this way, but you started on this story and now it's the only way for me to explain why this is all happening." She brushed a tear off her cheek. "After Jane's wedding, I talked to Darcy. For a lot of reasons – Jane's insistence, my anger, my confusion – there were things that I needed to know, but the biggest was that you and I had started something and I needed to know if it was possible for me to finally let him go."

She saw the torrent of emotions cross his face – some anger at Darcy for what he had done, but mostly the heartbreak that she was causing him mixed with the confusion at why she was doing it.

"I don't understand," he bit out softly.

Beth nodded, more tears beginning to fall. "I'm sorry, Col. It's not you. This is all my fault. I should have never agreed to going on a date with you know that I had all of these unresolved feelings; I just so wanted to put them behind me, but seeing him and talking to him at the wedding has made me realize that I can't put them behind me because they are inside of me; he is a part of me."

"But after what he did to you, how could you…" he trailed off in sincere concern.

"I was wrong," she said, shaking her head. "I was wrong about what I thought happened and I could go into details with you, but it doesn't matter. What he did or didn't do doesn't really matter. What matters is that no matter how much I wanted to and how hard I tried to feel _more_ for you, I couldn't and I was ok with that until I saw him again and realized _why_ I couldn't and more important, what I _could_ feel."

Col just nodded in silence. Beth saw the shock that was still registering over him, trying to process the second bomb that had been dropped on him in a week.

"I am so, so sorry, Col. You are such a great guy, but it wouldn't be right for me or fair to you to continue this knowing that I don't feel for you what I feel for him, and more important, I don't feel for you what you feel for me."

Beth stopped, twisting her napkin in her lap, willing herself to stay quiet for long enough for him to say something. Finally, after a minute, he looked up and met her gaze.

"I see."

She felt more tears stream down her face; she'd never seen him so dejected before.

"Please, Col. I care about you. I don't want this to ruin our friendship. Please," she begged softly.

He let out a loud sigh, running his hand through his hair. "I think you're making a big mistake."

"Col, believe me, I tried to find those kinds of feelings for you, I really—"

"No," he cut her off. "I don't mean about me. I don't care about me. I mean trying to make things work with him. Even if you were wrong about what happened, I know how he treated you and I know that you deserve so much more."

"I do, Col, and I wouldn't be here right now telling you this, hurting you in this way, if I wasn't convinced that he is not the same man that he was," she said sincerely; it was the first statement that confidently left her mouth.

"Are you sure?"

"You know me; you know how I felt. It would be a lie to tell you that I'm completely sure that he has changed because I'm not – I don't know how I could be. But, I will tell you what I am sure about is that if I don't take this chance with him, if I don't give him this chance, I will regret it for the rest of my life."

Col's eyes widened slightly at her words, his lips thinning momentarily before he nodded in resignation. "Then what else can I do but hope, for your sake, that you are right."

She bit her lip feeling like she deserved so much more of his anger for leading him on. "Are you ok?"

His eyebrows raised at her as though saying 'are you really asking me that?'

 _It was a pretty dumb question._

"No," he admitted anyway, "but I will be." His gaze tunneled into her as she chewed on her lip. "What did you think I was going to do? Freak out? Fire you?"

"No! Yes. Maybe," she mumbled. "I don't know."

"Well, I'm not," he reassured her. "Honestly, it was wishful thinking on my part. I should have known, seeing you two at the wedding. Even before that, really; there is something in the way you look at him that I so desperately wanted to see when you looked at me. I guess I thought it would come with time, but I don't think I was being realistic."

"I'm sorry, Col," Beth offered, unsure of what else to say; there was nothing that could make this easier for him.

"Stop apologizing," he said with a sad smile. "Don't apologize for admitting to what you want and pursuing it; I'll be fine."

Whether he said the words to convince her or himself, she wasn't sure so she just nodded in response.

"So, what does this mean for me?" he asked, then clarifying with, "In terms of Caroline Bingley."

"I…ahh…I'm honestly not sure. I would do whatever you have to do – talk to whomever you know, but I doubt her reach extends further than the bribe that she paid that girl. If I had to guess, it was only done as a message, that even here she can still get to me."

"Should you go to the police?" Even though it was a question, it sounded more like a highly-encouraged suggestion.

"I will," she nodded. "Darcy said that I should go last weekend; I guess he got a restraining order against her already and wants me to get one. Well, not just him, I want to get one, too. I just didn't think I would need to do it so urgently. I figured she was moving on with her life in New York, but she must have learned that Darcy came up here on Monday—" She stopped abruptly, blushing when she realized that she'd revealed that Darcy had stayed with her. "And…ahh…that is what probably set this all in motion," she finished quickly, trying to ignore that awkwardness between them.

 _But, ignoring an elephant isn't exactly the easiest thing._

"Whatever she does next, I think will be aimed directly at me. I'll go to the police on Monday and handle it," she assured him.

"Ok." His reply was fraught with worry.

"I would just try to make sure all of the guest lists for the private parties and events are monitored tightly. Even though I'm her target, I don't think she cares about any collateral damage when it comes to getting what she wants," she warned him even though he probably had a good idea what lengths this woman would go to.

Col let out a long sigh, closing his eyes for a split second before turning back to her. "Alright, let's get going and get you home." He stood from his chair and she followed his lead, trailing quietly behind him as they left the hotel.

There were things that she could say, but nothing that would ease the pain that she had caused him _._

 _She knew – she was intimately familiar with that pain; as much as she wanted to try and make it better, the only thing that would help was peace and solitude to recover._

They rode in silence back to her apartment, the car stopping out front. This time, Col helped her out of the car and walked her to her door, but made no move to follow her inside.

"Be careful, Beth," he said softly. His plea likely in reference to both Caroline and to Darcy, just in very different ways.

"I will. Thank you." She bit her lip to stop another apology from escaping. "You, too. And let me know if there is anything else I can do."

He just nodded sadly. Her breath caught as his head dipped towards hers and he placed a soft, platonic kiss on her cheek.

She gave him a sad smile that in no way matched the extent of his and watched him take a few steps back to the car before turning to open the door to her building.

 _Darcy was waiting._

She didn't need to check at the desk to know that. She'd felt his stare as soon as she stepped out of the car, her body drawn towards him. She moved up the steps quickly, anxious for his embrace, his comfort, and his protection. As she stepped into the hall, the door to her apartment opened, Darcy standing in the frame. Their eyes locked and she walked towards him. For the first time since she'd moved, the thought ' _I'm home'_ came to her mind.

 _Because with him, she was._


	25. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Darcy stood, unmoving, in the doorframe, watching her as she walked towards him, drawn to him by his trance. His sleeves were rolled up, one arm holding the door open, the other propped against the doorframe, both flexed as he pushed against those objects. His leg muscles, too, were firmly outline in his pants, the front of which growing tauter with every step closer that she took. He'd taken his shoes off, his socked feet one in front of the other as though he were poised to break from the door as soon as the whistle blew.

 _He was resisting._

Everything about his body language told her that he was restraining himself; the doorway an invisible barrier in his mind separating him from her. His feet anchored to the floor while his hands, instead of ready to push off, were holding him back from going to her and wrapping her in his arms, locking her to him as a comfort to himself that she was his. His jaw flexed, the muscle twitching along the side of his cheek, trying to keep the words he wanted to say at bay – the ones that demanded to know about Col, what had happened, if he had touched her, why he had kissed her.

 _He was resisting, waiting for her to set him free._

Beth walked boldly up to him, confident in where she stood, in her ability to read his feelings for her, and more importantly, in her feelings for him.

"Hello," she said softly, staring into his deep, brown eyes as she melted into their warmth.

"I missed you," he rasped. Nothing else in his body moving except his lips to utter those words. He furrowed his brow, gathering the strength to release his arms that were blocking her entrance into her own apartment.

Just as he began to step back and let her step inside, both of her hands reached up, grabbing the sides of his face and pulling his mouth down to her.

 _She missed him, too._

Darcy growled, instantly responding to her kiss. His tongue plunging into her mouth as his arms changed course, wrapping themselves tightly around her. One hand reaching down to grab her ass over her skirt, picking her up and stepping them both back into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind him.

As they slowly stumbled backward into the short entryway, Beth fueled their kiss with every ounce of desire that she felt. It was a potent drug that she'd abstained from all week and now was eagerly craving her Darcy-high.

She bit down forcefully on his tongue as it entered her mouth, causing him to growl again and thrust his hips against hers, his erection digging into her. His hand on her ass began to move, bunching up her skirt as his fingers searched for what was hidden beneath.

Her mouth smiled against his kiss as his hand found her bare ass cheek, squeezing the soft fleshly firmly in his grasp. Those exploring fingers made their way along the crevice, down between the backs of her thighs. His whole body froze when the tips touched the molten heat seeping from her core.

His head jerked back. "No underwear?" he asked. His voice hard and harsh with pent-up desire.

 _She knew what he was thinking though._

"For you." _Not for Col._

" _Christ,"_ he swore, his lips engulfing hers again. Darcy angled his hand slightly, pushing two fingers completely inside of her with a groan that vibrated right to her core.

Then he was gone. His mouth. His fingers. Everything disappeared for a split second before she was hoisted over his shoulder.

"Darcy!" she gasped, the position causing her skirt to drop, completely baring her lower half; she knew first because she felt the cold air rush over the dampness, sending a shiver through her body.

Or maybe the shiver was because Darcy didn't waste any time returning that hand to her folds and those fingers inside of her, massaging the muscles of her passage. His name on her lips morphed into a moan as he carried her expediently into her bedroom and released her long enough to toss her onto the bed.

Her gasp was overwhelmed by the bumping and rumbling of the bed as it absorbed her weight.

She'd barely landed on the soft mess of sheets by the time he'd partially undone his pants, freeing himself just enough to be able to climb between her thighs and sink completely home inside of her.

Her mouth opened, but no sound, no oxygen came in or out; the feel of him filling her sending ripples of exquisite pleasure throughout every cell in her body. Beth felt his forceful breathing against her neck as he took a second to adjust to the warm and tightness of her.

His teeth sunk into her soft skin as he began to move his hips, her rising instinctively to meet his and the delicious friction that he generated deep inside of her. Beth closed her eyes, letting her body give over in that delectable rhythm

 _In and out - a_ _pattern that was more instinctual to her than breathing._

She cried out his name as her orgasm swept over her. Darcy swallowed her cries with his kiss as he joined her. His hips pressing into her as his body began to relax from all of the tension built up inside of it; his release marking her as his own.

"I missed you, too," she whispered with a naughty, half-smile working its way onto her face. Darcy's eyes pried open to stare down at her flushed cheeks and sated expression.

His breath released with a sigh. "You're mine," he said. His tone wasn't one of hard demand or undeniable fact; no, it was quiet, tender, and almost questioning.

Warmth spread through her, his words caressing, instead of claiming her.

"And here I was going to say that you were mine," she replied coyly, flexing her inner muscles around his softening cock.

Darcy hissed; his head bending down to grab her lower lip between his teeth, gently biting down before sucking the tender flesh into his mouth for a moment.

Beth could feel him hardening again inside of her, her muscles expanding to accommodate him. As he released her lip, she whispered, "I am yours." Extending her neck up, she kissed him briefly.

He briefly touched his lips to her forehead before pushing himself up off of and pulling out of her. She groaned, relaxing back on the bed for a moment, wishing he would have continued to round two, but knowing that she needed to talk to him.

She pushed herself up to sit on the edge of the bed, watching as he finished taking off his pants, walking into the bathroom to wipe himself off before pulling on a pair of sweats that he brought with him over his hard cock. Beth slowly trailed her gaze up from his waist to meet his eyes, raising her eyebrows at him, asking ' _are you sure you want to put those on?'_

"Let's talk," he said softly.

She nodded, reaching for her long, night-time t-shirt, setting it on the bed next to her. With a decisive slowness, she peeled her shirt from her skirt and lifted it over her head. Biting her lip, she tried not to smile as she caught Darcy frozen, watching her undress. Unzipping her skirt, she let it fall to the ground, leaving her naked except for her bra.

"Can you help me?" she asked innocently, turning to give him her back, and her ass. She held her breath for a second until she heard and felt up walk up behind her.

His fingers traced briefly underneath the strap of her bra before he unhooked the clasp, the last of the material shielding her now gone. She turned quickly to face him, the tips of her erect nipples grazing his bare chest.

The thrill and electricity that ran through her, seeing how much she could tease him because of how much he wanted her – and she, him – was indescribable.

"Don't tempt me," he growled, picking up her shirt off of the bed and pressing it against her chest between them, waiting for her to take it before stepping around her.

Beth smiled to herself.

 _Being with him made her feel alive again._

"Do you want some tea?" he asked from the kitchen.

Beth walked to the doorway before answering, "I think you'll want to pour us some wine."

His eyebrows raised. "That bad?"

"Yes," she answered, crossing her arms over her chest. "But, not in the way you think. Well, yes in that way too, I guess."

"What did you tell him?" Darcy asked.

She was going to tell him everything anyway, she might as well start there; the subject of Caroline was going to detour their conversation very far downhill if she started with that.

"I told him that I'm sorry, but I just don't feel that way about him. I told him that I tried to." She paused, returning Darcy's glare. "He needed to know that I made the attempt, because I did, I truly wanted to, and I couldn't. It wouldn't have been right or believable to _not_ tell him that."

"And…"

"He was sad…" she trailed off, taking a glass from Darcy's outstretched hand, "and also concerned for me and probably a little bit angry at you. But mostly sad."

"Why was he concerned for you? Did he think I was forcing you or something?" Darcy asked, irritation turning to anger in his voice at the abhorrent thought.

"No, no definitely not. He's concerned because he knows what you did – or what I thought you did – and he doesn't want to see me get hurt like that again."

"Did you tell him—" Beth cut him off with a kiss.

"I did. I told him what I said to you before you left on Monday. _I. Am. Yours._ And that was enough because he didn't question me or try to put you down or convince me to change my mind. He said he knew at the wedding from the look on my face when I saw you that he never truly stood a chance. I. Am. Yours." Her words punctuated by her free hand coming up to rest on his chest over his heart. "That's all he needs to know and that's all you need to know. There is nothing between him and I except a now-strained friendship; one that I hope will heal with time."

Even though she saw that he didn't particularly like that thought, he just nodded and took a sip of wine before saying, "thank you for telling me. He seems like a nice guy."

She chuckled. "I know you say that even though you still feel like you want to rip his head off for ever looking at me, but I appreciate your effort. Also, don't thank me yet," she sighed. "There's more I need to tell you, but it doesn't directly have anything to do with Col."

"Ok…" he drawled.

Grabbing his hand, she led him back into the bedroom, climbing onto the bed and sitting with her knees bent to the side.

"Earlier today, Hannah, his assistant, came in to remind me about the dinner. I hadn't seen Col all week until tonight so I asked her what was up. Normally, he stops by with coffee in the morning," she began, ignoring the flash of possessiveness and jealousy that flared in his eyes as he joined her on the mattress. "She said he'd been dealing with issues involving the permits that we had to submit to the city in order to get the roads closed for the race."

He nodded, acknowledging that he was following along before drink more wine from his glass.

"So, when we got to dinner I asked him what was up since Hannah and I had both worked with him personally on submitting all of them. He told me that he got a call Monday afternoon that the permits had been denied – no, that some of the paperwork was missing altogether and other documents had been filled out improperly and had been destroyed. This isn't the first year that the Center has put this on, so it was highly unlikely that any of that was true, but what was even more concerning was that just last week or the week before, we'd gotten the 'O.K.' from the city that everything was good to go."

Beth watched Darcy's eyebrows raise in intrigue.

"Exactly. So, Colin freaked out on the woman – well, not really freaked out, but sort of. Anyway, she didn't know anything so had to put in with her supervisor to give him a call. The supervisor called earlier today and told him that in the computer she could see how the documents were marked as 'Approved' but then switched to 'Denied'. Since the applications were destroyed, she couldn't tell him why. She said that she would have her boss call him on Monday and in the meantime, she gave him the name of who reviewed the documents for him to contact to see if she could clarify why they were marked as 'Denied.'"

"Yeah, that's not right. Somebody fucked up big time. And the race is next weekend?" he clarified.

"Yup," she said, her lips pursing in frustrated concern. "So, he went down there and talked to the girl who changed the status. She said someone called her the other day and offered her twenty thousand dollars to do it, so she did; she apparently broke down and admitted it was a mistake but that she was too afraid to fix it. That's not really my call, Col can handle that however he wants," Beth continued, now chewing on her lower lip as she got to the most important part of the story.

"Who would do that? Over a charity race?" Darcy asked in disgusted confusion.

"Caroline." The name flew from her lips like rancid milk that she needed to spit out. Darcy's eyes shot to hers, darkening with rage

"Caroline Bingley?" he asked, his voice deadly quiet and hard as steel.

"She's coming here." Beth took another sip of her wine trying to dampen the dread of that thought.

"How do you know? Did she contact you? I swear to God, I will kill her for this; I tried to handle this discreetly and politely – hell, even cordially – for Charles' sake and that bitch—" His hand came up over his mouth, cutting off the parade of expletives eager to march from his mouth.

"I talked to Anne," Beth began, her words silencing him even further. "She emailed me and told me to call her. When I did, she told me what has been going on with her mother and Caroline and that when she went to her mom's place yesterday, she overheard Caroline telling her that she was coming up to Boston."

" _Christ."_

"Not that there was anything to see at the wedding, but she must have thought there might be something more going on, and then whomever she or Mrs. Bingley has watching you must have tipped her off that you'd come to Boston,"

"What the hell." He drained the rest of his wine, his knuckles turning white around the stem of the glass. "We're going to get you a restraining order tomorrow. I'll have my assistant email me all of the documents – everything that you sent me months ago – and we're going to the police station first thing tomorrow. And then we are going to sort out the security for this event – make sure she can't gain access to any of the private functions that I'm assuming are going to go on," he laid out, his brain working overtime through every scenario. The old, fearful and insecure, Darcy would have told her that she couldn't work the event, that he didn't want her to and that was that. This Darcy – _her Darcy –_ knew how important her work was to her, and wasn't about to make her sacrifice that because of Caroline.

"Ok," she agreed. Her eager acquiescence startling him. "You were right about her all along. I trust you and your judgment. You know her better than I do and I will do whatever you think if it means getting her out of our life."

He reached over, taking her now-empty glass from her hand, and setting both of them down on the nightstand.

Cupping her face in his hands, his eyes seared into her soul. "You know I will never let anything happen to you," he promised her.

"I know. And I will never let anything happen to you," she returned, rising up on her knees, her torso pressing against his; she kissed him softly.

"We're going to figure this out, ok?" His thumbs traced over her lips. "I'm not going to let her hurt you."

Beth smiled, her eyes dropping from his. She changed the subject before her thoughts could detour onto some of those _very_ unpleasant thoughts.

"You know, this is now the second damsel-in-distress whom you've saved that I've had to learn about after the fact – and not from you. I don't care if you're trying to be humble or whatever your silly reasoning is, the next time I want to hear the story come from your lips."

His eyes left hers, lazily trailing down to her parted and moist lips. Looking down further at her t-shirt clad body, the swells of her breasts visible along the edge of her shirt, her nipples pressed eagerly against the fabric that did nothing to conceal their excitement.

"Ok," he agreed huskily, his gaze returning to her, red-hot with lust. "But for now, the only thing that's going to _come_ from my lips is you."

Her mouth parted even further as a devious smile spread over his face. His hands reached for the back of her thighs, pulling up hard and swiftly. With a yelp, Beth found herself on her back with her legs hanging off the side of the bed. Before she even had a chance to tilt her head to admonish – or encourage - him, Beth felt his mouth close over her core.

Her back arched off the bed as the pleasure rocketed through her; her hands reaching out to grab fistfuls of the sheets, trying to anchor some part of her to the bed because what he was doing with his tongue was about to have her shooting right off of it.

Beth gasped, her hips undulating uncontrollably under his mouth as he expertly led every cell in her body to the edge of release. One last flick of his tongue over her clit had her screaming his name into the sex-laden silence. She heard him groan as he greedily lapped up the result of her orgasm.

Her hands slowly relaxed and released the sheets from her grasp even though her heart was still pounding, her lungs still panting.

 _That was round two._

"I told you," he rasped. Her head tilted to the side so that she could look down to him. A smile widened over his lips that glistened with her arousal. "The only thing I want coming from my mouth tonight is you."

Her muscles clenched as the words vibrated deliciously through her again. Pushing herself up to sit on bed, Darcy still kneeling between her legs, she bent down and kissed him on the mouth, moaning as she tasted herself on his tongue, but more than her desire, she tasted his – felt his – with every tease of her tongue.

His hands slid up from the sides of her thighs to grab the edge of her t-shirt, lifting it up, her arms stretching to help him free her from the material. As soon as the last remaining barrier was gone, his hands reached for the swells of her breasts. Kneading the globes until she moaned into his mouth.

Pulling back from their kiss, Darcy's eyes dropped to her chest where his hands held her breasts, their erect peaks straining towards him, begging for some of the attention from that tongue of his. His mouth dropped hungrily onto her nipple.

Beth gasped, letting her head fall back and her hands slide into his hair, pulling him tighter against her as his tongue rolled over the firm bud sending jolts of white heat through her body. Moving to the other, begging swell, he sucked her nipple hard into his mouth; she let out a small yell as the painful pull blossomed into a potent pleasure. He laved the same attention on the other peak, kissing the tip of her breast softly as he moved his mouth from her.

He blew a steady stream of air from his mouth over her erect and moist nipple, the sudden cold blowing over her body sending delicious shivers straight to her core. Her head angled to meet his dark, desirous gaze.

Beth stared at the man kneeling between her legs; his gorgeous face framed by his tousled hair, his sculpted chest that tapered to a slender waist which disappeared into his sweats. She raised an eyebrow when she saw the giant tent in the front of his pants from his erection, straining to be a part of the action. She stared at the man who was continually putting her before himself and his needs lately, and boy did she now want to torment him in return.

Biting her lip, her hands still in hair, tilted his head back as hers bent down to stop a breath away from his mouth. She dropped a quick kiss on his lips before her mouth meandered over to his ear.

"My turn," she whispered, taking a quick nip at his earlobe before her hands moved to his shoulders pushing him backward so that he was now resting back on his heels. He raised an eyebrow at her, anticipation flaring in his eyes, his cock twitching underneath the fabrics of his pants.

Lifting her leg, she put her foot against his chest, letting him take one good, long look at the glistening view between her thighs before she extended her leg, causing him to tip back. His arms quickly moved behind him to steady himself, his legs swinging out in front to relieve the pressure from his ankles.

Beth stood up off the bed with a smile, enjoying the surprise and expectation that emanated from his body. Bending over, she grabbed ahold of the elastic waist of his pants and tugged them down and off of his legs.

She eyed his engorged erection for a moment, jutting out from between his thighs. "My turn for a taste," she murmured, glancing at him from underneath heavy eyelids.

Dropping to her knees on the floor, she bent over to run her tongue up the length of his swollen cock, which bobbed against her mouth, begging to be taken inside. Darcy groaned loudly at the tease, the deeply hoarse vibration turning into a curse when she finally made it to the tip and pulled him inside of her mouth, sucking him in firmly and deeply to the back of her throat.

" _Oh my God, Beth,"_ he panted as she began to move her hot torture chamber up and down along his length.

His fingers speared through her hair, encouraging her as his hips lifted to match the movements of her head. Beth tasted the saltiness leaking from the tip of his cock, a sample of what was to come. A few seconds later, he pulled up on her head, groaning.

"Beth… _stop… please,"_ he begged. Slowly, she released him from her mouth, looking up at him in concern. " _I want to be inside of you,"_ came his hoarse explanation.

"You will be," she replied coyly, looking down at the heavy weight of him resting in her hand.

Her mouth engulfed him again, taking him all the way inside its hot depth. She felt his hands on her head again, exerting slight pull before he gave up fighting against her plans to pleasure him and began to thrust himself deeper inside her mouth. Her hand reached down to cup the soft weight of his balls, as her mouth worked frantically to bring him the pleasure that he had brought her.

Darcy roared as his orgasm rocketed through him. Beth moaned feeling the hot jets of his release against the back of her throat, swallowing deeply as he continued to pulse into her.

Only when his hands dropped away from her did she slowly release his erection from the sweet suction of her mouth. She caught his sated stare and licked her lips suggestively.

"You are in trouble," he groaned, too relaxed for the words to come out as discouraging as he'd wanted.

"Mmm," she murmured victoriously. "And here I thought I was intolerable…"

" _Come here,"_ he rasped demandingly, his gaze that had flared with her taunt leaving no room for her to disobey.

Beth shivered at the husky promise in his tone. _Sometimes, she liked when he was demanding – and he knew it._

"Where?" she asked, feigning confusion. "I'm right here."

"Yes, but I'm too exhausted from what you just put me through to be able to move my mouth back onto that sweet pussy of yours," he groaned in impatience. " _Now, come here."_

Her mouth went dry as she crawled up the length of his torso.

"I'm going to come inside of you tonight – _and I don't mean inside of your mouth,_ " he said, his voice deadly soft.

His arm reached out to grab his sweats, rolling them and shoving them underneath his neck to prop his head up.

"Put your legs on either side of my head and lay back along my chest," he instructed. His eyes darkened seeing her core open in front of him as her legs lifted to part, placing one foot on either side of him.

His fingers sunk into the fleshy part of her hips, pulling her lower half those last few inches to bring her slick folds to his mouth. Her mouth parted soundlessly as he began to devour her. His tongue flicked rapidly over her, bringing her right to the edge of release and then stopping.

She gasped. " _Darcy… please…"_ Her legs quivered with her pent-up desire that was on the precipice of erupting.

"Turnabout is fair play," he answered hoarsely, his smile glistening with her juices. His tongue slowly licked her one time, taunting her even more.

Beth felt her elbows shaking, her arms feeling like they were about to give out from supporting her. Another second or two passed – _another lick._ A shiver unraveled through her body. _Another lick._ She gasped loudly, feeling her eyes tearing with the strain he was putting on her body. The torturous and intermittent stimulation was just enough to keep her on that uncomfortably exquisite edge.

"Do you know why I want to come inside of you?" She vaguely heard him ask as he stared at her exposed entrance, watching as her desire seeped out of her, begging for his tongue to taste it.

Beth groaned. " _Because I am yours."_

She felt the intensity of his stare on her; he hadn't been expecting that answer. For it, his tongue swept over her one more time, swirling around her clit, bringing stars to her eyes.

"No, _because I am yours,"_ he replied. His breath caressing her softly. His hands released her hips, reaching for her arms that were supporting her and pulling her shuddering body to sit again. "Put me inside of you." His eyes seared into her.

Without looking she knew he was ready. Carefully sliding her legs back underneath her, she rose unsteadily up onto her knees. Moving backwards, the tip of his erection brushed her molten core; Darcy's eyes shut as he groaned with pleasure. She positioned herself over him, her hand reaching down to wrap firmly around the thick length of him, placing the tip of his cock at her entrance.

Her gaze moved to lock with his just before she sunk down onto him, taking him completely inside of her passage. Beth gasped at the welcome invasion. The friction of him sliding into her causing her body to tremble with need and her mind to go blank.

His hands back on her hips reminded her that she was in control. Steadying her hands on his chest, she rose up and down along his length.

" _That's it, gorgeous,"_ he groaned, watching his cock slide in and out of her as his hands moved to cup her breasts that bounced enticingly in front of his gaze.

Beth closed her eyes, unable to even feel herself moving anymore as she chased after the release he'd been taunting her with. She frenzied movements took her in search of her pleasure, his words encouraging her to take it. He'd wired her to be on edge and it only took a few moments before she found herself exploding around him – and collapsing forward onto him as her arms slowly gave out beneath her.

Taking a firm hold around her body, Darcy quickly rolled them over making sure to stay firmly seated inside of her. Beth gasped as he seemingly found his strength again, his hips pounding into her as he demanded his own release while hers still quaked around him. He thrust again and again inside her soaking passage, finally shouting her name with his release.

Burying his head in her neck, they both lay there for minutes, letting their hearts and their breaths come back to a normal, steady pace.

"I don't think I can move," Beth finally whispered.

"Sorry," Darcy groaned, rolling off of her.

"That's not what I meant," she whimpered, now empty and bare at the loss of him. "I meant from what just happened." Rolling carefully onto her side, she extended on arm over his chest needing to maintain that constant contact with him.

"Well, I don't want to move but we can't stay on the floor," he said, grunting as he propped himself up on his elbow.

"Mmm," she moaned. "I think we can. I'll be fine sleeping on the floor, I've slept on worse."

He glared at her. "We aren't sleeping on the floor."

"It could be fun." Her small smile teased him.

"Beth," he hoarsely began to scold her, "I fucked you once and ate my fill of you twice – half of those fucking mind-blowing experiences were on the hard surface of this floor. You are going to be sore enough tomorrow, I'm not going to willing let you make it worse by agreeing to sleeping on the floor."

"Fine," she grumbled, sticking her tongue out at him playfully.

She watched as he stood, extending his hands to help her stand, her legs still wobbly from her orgasm and the work they'd put in to achieve it. Moving behind her, he steered her into the bathroom, pressing himself firmly against her back to give her some support.

They both quickly got ready for bed, too exhausted from their ravenous reunion to continue their earlier discussion and too sated to even want to think about letting that stress back into their night.

Crawling into bed, Darcy tucked his arm underneath her neck as she curled against him, snuggling up to the source of her happiness. She sighed against him, relishing in the comfort and safety that she felt in his arms.

"Goodnight, Beth," he whispered, kissing her softly on her forehead as his fingers traced lightly down her back, soothing her into slumber.

 _I love you._ She didn't know if she said it or not – or even if she said goodnight; she fell weightlessly into the deep sleep that was calling her name.


	26. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

"Yes, this coming weekend. Tell him to call me directly if there is a problem, but I don't expect there to be."

Beth rolled over in bed, hearing Darcy's deep voice coming through the door from the living room. Her vision came slowly back into focus while her ears were alert to his conversation, wondering what had him up so early on a Saturday morning.

"Let me know when it's taken care of."

 _Sounds like business._

She pushed herself up to sit in the bed, pulling the sheet with her to cover her chest. She ran her hands quickly through her hair trying to calm down the matter mane just as Darcy walked back in the room, starting as he saw her awake and alert, waiting for him.

"Good morning, sunshine," he said with a smile.

Beth bit her lip, taking in the sight of him and those sweats of his riding low on his hips. "Good morning," she murmured. "Who was that on the phone?" She couldn't help herself from asking.

His eyes glanced down at his cell. "Just business stuff that needs to be handled for this week. Wanted to make sure my people were on top of it," he explained vaguely. "How did you sleep?"

Her brow scrunched for a second, wondering if there was more going on than he was saying, but from what she'd heard, it sounded like the truth.

"Wonderful," she sighed, smiling up at him. "How about you?"

He walked over to her and leaned down, placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Wonderful." He kissed her again. "Alright, I'm going to make us breakfast." He stepped away from the bed and moved towards the door again.

Beth grimaced. She still didn't have any breakfast food in the apartment; she hadn't had time or really thought to go out and get some.

"I don't have any breakfast food," she said.

He winked at her. "I know, that's why I stopped on my way in last night. Your fridge is now fully stocked."

"You didn't have to do that," she exclaimed, feeling guilty that her apartment seemed to be lacking in the very basics.

"I know, gorgeous, but I didn't want there to be any reason for you to have to leave that bed this morning… or put on clothes." His eyes flared suggestively and Beth felt her skin tingle all over at his insinuation.

"Mmm… how thoughtful of you, Mr. Darcy," she replied coyly, stepping out of the bed and out from underneath the sheets, confidently stretching her naked form in front of him. She sent him a sideways glance through hooded eyelids, enjoying his undisguised stare of appreciation and the resulting spread of his arousal over his body.

Beth raised an eyebrow at him as her arms came back down to her sides. "I thought you were going to make breakfast?" she asked, innocently.

"If you keep that up the only thing I'll be having for breakfast is you," he growled.

She feigned mock surprise. "Whatever do you mean?"

His jaw muscles flexed and his eyes flared with desire.

Beth smiled; she was hungry – she better stop teasing him if she wanted to eat this morning. "Alright, I'm getting in the shower – _alone,"_ she clarified. "Go make breakfast."

She met his gaze, watching him struggle with himself whether he was going to let her do just that or if was going to forget breakfast and take her. Everything was still for a moment and then he spun on his heel and walked back out into the kitchen.

She chuckled softly to herself and walked into the bathroom, turning on the shower. She washed quickly, anxious to be back with him.

 _And hungry –_ her stomach rumbled.

Stepping out of the shower, she dried off, taking a deep breath of the delicious smell that was emanating from the kitchen. She threw on underwear and her t-shirt. She didn't want to be too tempting before she had a chance to eat something. Following the delightful scent, she walked out of bedroom to see Darcy standing over the small stove, cooking something in a smaller fry pan.

 _Something that she wanted to eat, it smelled so good._

"So, what's on the menu?" she asked, alerting him to her presence.

He glanced over his shoulder at her before turning back to his task. "My famous frittatas – hope that's ok."

"As long as it tastes as amazing as it smells."

He turned, sliding the contents of the fry pan onto the plate waiting on the counter. Opening the fridge, he pulled out a glass of orange juice setting it along with the egg concoction in front of her.

Beth eyed the plate greedily.

"Go ahead and eat. I could hear your stomach from out here."

She dug into the eggs while he began to make his.

"This is amazing," she said after three bites and with a mouthful of her fourth.

"Thank you." He set his plate down on other side of the counter and began to eat with her. "I was wrong though." Beth looked up at him questioningly. "I'm going to need you to cover up that delicious ass of yours. We're going to get a restraining order."

Beth swallowed the bite of food in her mouth, thinking through what he was saying. "Can it wait?" she asked hesitantly. "Not indefinitely." She quickly clarified seeing his expression harden. "Just until Monday, I meant. It's Saturday and I just want to be with you – spend the day with you here, just the two of us. Nothing will happen to us here. I feel like I just got you back – we just got us back – I don't want to bring _her_ into it right now." She paused, assessing the changes in his expression, watching it soften. "I just want one weekend to ourselves. Please."

His lips thinned. It wasn't what he wanted or what he wanted to hear, but it also wasn't asking a lot.

"Fine," he acquiesced. "But, we are staying here then. I'm not taking any chances."

 _Which meant that he already had his security watching her apartment._

She nodded, not caring right now as long as it meant she could spend time with him.

"So," he continued, "I thought Col hired you to expand his foundation's reach into New York City. Is that still happening?" He tried to make the questions appear nonchalant, but Beth knew better.

"Wondering how long until I'm back in the city for good?" she teased him, trying to stifle the small smile. She knew he wanted her to move back to New York, not that he couldn't stay here indefinitely, but he preferred the city – _and she did, too, if she was honest._ It also meant that she would be several hours from the boss that was trying to steal her from Darcy – even though his attempt was unsuccessful and she doubted Col would make any more attempts – but distance would ease Darcy's mind.

He frowned at her. "Just making conversation," he said, then with a sigh, adding, "but yes, I would like you back in New York, I won't lie." The last was grumbled softly as though he was embarrassed to admit it.

"I know that is his plan," Beth began, giving him the information he wanted, grateful that he'd admitted his feelings out loud. "That is what we talked about when he mentioned hiring me before. I don't think he expected me to be requesting that job so soon…" She trailed off, not needing nor wanting to go into further detail about why she'd needed to ask for the position. "So, even though he wants to in the near future, I'm not sure how near it actually is. I think he needs a significant capital investment to make the move to New York and I'm not sure the clinic is prepared for that right now. Maybe after the Contest he'll have a better idea." She shrugged her shoulders. "That's if the Contest still happens…if Col can get those permits squared away."

Expanding into New York was going to be expensive for Col, there was no doubt about that. Maybe some of the high-profile investors that were coming up this week might be able to make that happen, but who knows what was going to happen now. She began to chew on the inside of her cheek at the thought, her mind drifting back to work and everything that would happen if Col couldn't convince the city that the permits had been approved.

"I want you to move in with me. Again." His words echoed softly through the silence, a screaming interruption to her thoughts.

A million questions ran through her mind. None of them as fast as the answer that her lips begged to give him.

"Darcy…" she said softly. "I can't move back to New York right now." She started with the most basic fact. "I love my job and what I'm doing, but, right now, it has to be done here. I don't have the same opportunity in New York. I can't leave." She shook her head, finding the words to tell him what this meant to her. "I've finally found something that I enjoy and something where I feel like I'm really contributing and I won't give that up; and I would hope that you wouldn't want me to."

It wasn't that Darcy wasn't important to her, but she would end up resenting him if she left this job for him. As much of a difference as she'd seen in him, being around him the past two weeks, there was still the deeply rooted fear that it wouldn't last. If she left her job for him and then lost him, she didn't know what would happen to her then.

"I don't want you to leave," he interjected before she could try to explain further. "I don't want to ask you to make that choice; you shouldn't have to. I don't care where it is. I'll move in to this apartment if that's what it takes to be with you, although I'd prefer to find a place that could accommodate a slightly larger bed." Darcy smirked slightly with the last statement, trying to use humor to offset how seriously sweet his offer was.

"Mr. Darcy," she said softly. "I don't know that I've ever seen you be so accommodating."

"Oh, accommodating? Is that what that was?" he asked with a raised brow, coming around the counter to stand closer to her.

"Alright, maybe a little more than accommodating," she replied with a smile. "But, seriously, do you know what you are offering? I know you have an office here, but most of your business is in New York. Wouldn't that be a hassle?" She chewed on the inside of her cheek, nervous for the strain it could put on him.

"Beth." His fingers reached underneath her chin, lifting her face up. "I'd sell my company if that's what needed to be done in order for me to be with you. Everything I have means nothing without you, gorgeous. I don't give a damn. But, to answer your question, no, it wouldn't be a hassle. It's my company. I can run it however and from wherever I want."

She blinked back tears, hardly believing that these words were coming from his mouth.

"Ok," she whispered. "I want to, Darcy, I do. But…" Her breath caught watching the hurt flicker in his eyes. "I'm just afraid that things are moving too fast and I'm going to get hurt again. Can we make it through this weekend first before we talk about this? I just want to get over this hurdle with the Contest and then with Caroline… My brain just needs to get through those things."

His mouth thinned, but he nodded. His hand fell from her chin, but she caught it before it dropped to his side.

"Darcy." She squeezed his fingers. "I want this. I want you. I told you – I don't know how not to. I just need time to process."

He sighed, intertwining his fingers with hers. "I know. Take all the time you need, I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you." She stood, pressing her lips against his as her torso came flush with the hardness of his chest.

Beth ran her tongue along the seam of his lips, sighing as his mouth opened to hers, his tongue greeting her in its warmth. The kiss started out soft, a comforting reminder of the depth of their feelings for each other, a seal of assurance that they were in this together for the long haul. Slowly it became more insistent as the heat of desire flamed between them.

Her hands moved from his face, up through his hair. His arms came around her, pulling her tightly to him, subtly telling her that he would never let her go. Her head tilted, her mouth opening further beneath his exploring tongue that gently swept inside of her, stoking the fire that had begun to burn much deeper inside of her body.

Darcy groaned into her mouth, her sweetness – like her love for him - was intoxicating. His hands pulled up the edge of the tee that she was wearing, returning to the edge of her panties where he'd left off earlier. Slowly he lifted the shirt up and off of her, tossing it onto the floor.

Beth sighed as her body moved back against his, the warmth from his chest burning through her. His hands came up onto her ribcage, pulling her away from his slightly so that his mouth had room to trail along the edge of her chin and down the length of her neck.

His hands slid to her breasts, kneading them in preparation for his descending mouth. Her nipples were erect and aching as his thumbed brushed over them, teasing them as the warm suction of his mouth crossed onto the swell of her breast and captured the throbbing peak.

Beth gasped as he pulled her taut flesh deep into his mouth, sending sparks of desire flaring through her body.

He was in no rush, gently lavishing his attentions on one breast before his mouth moved to torment the other one. Her moans formed a melody that floated around them as the morning sun crept further and further into the room. She was so aroused, the pressure had built languidly that she hadn't realized just how on edge she was until she shifted her weight, feeling the wetness that had seeped out of her center and coated the insides of her thighs.

His hand slid softly over the silken plane of her stomach down to her core that begged for him. Darcy groaned loudly against her breast as his fingers discovered just how wet and ready she was for him.

" _Christ, Beth,"_ he murmured, swirling his tongue around her nipple one last time before he dropped to his knees in front of her.

Her eyes shot open, her knees wobbling as his mouth closed over her folds. His tongue searching between them for the swollen nub that was on fire for him. Her hands gripped onto his head, at first for support, and then to hold him closer as his mouth worked over her sensitive flesh bringing her achingly close to release.

" _Darcy,"_ she gasped as his tongue flicked back and forth over her clit, each movement was a step closer towards that Earth-shattering explosion that her body craved.

Gently kissing that part of her that his mouth loved to taste, he stood up and lifted her, hooking her legs around his waist and carrying her over to the small couch that was a few steps away.

Pushing the coffee table back out of his way, he set her onto the couch, kneeling once again between her thighs. With her feet propped onto the coffee table behind him, her shimmering folds now open and exposed to his view.

He grunted, unable to stop himself from tasting once more the delicacy that was laid open and bare before him. Beth looked down at the sight before her; her legs spread wide, Darcy in between them, his dark head feasting on the most sensitive part of her. The sensations overwhelmed her as felt her head tip back against the edge of the couch, eyes closing, all of her focus concentrating on the building pleasure his tongue was creating between her thighs.

His mouth moved off of her with hesitation, dropping kisses up the length of her stomach and onto her breasts. She felt his heavy breathing on her neck.

" _I love you so much,"_ he rasped into her ear.

She felt his hand moving between them to free his erection from his sweats. Beth turned her head towards him. Her eyes captured his from underneath heavy lids.

" _I love you—"_ Her eyes widened, words cut off as the hot, engorged length of him slipped inside of her. The invasion causing waves of pleasure to roll through her body.

Darcy's half-smile withered as the tight heat of her passage enclosed him.

Her head fell back against the couch. His dropped to capture one of her nipples between his teeth, her back arching trying to push herself closer against him. He pushed into her slowly. She moaned at the torture, trying to make him move faster. Nine slow thrusts were finally followed by one hard and fast that sent heat shooting through her body. Then his hips moved back to the slow torture – eight languid thrusts, each burying himself to the hilt inside of her, followed two powerful thrusts that had her hips jerking uncontrollably begging for more.

Beth groaned as his slow pumps began again. " _Please. Faster…"_

A harsh laugh left him. _"Patience,"_ he said harshly, trying to focus on his control. His body wanted to move faster, too – a sheen of sweat breaking over his body as he rammed his hips into her three times.

A brief pause to catch his breath and then his slow tease began again – six, long, torturous thrusts. The gradual slide of his cock inside her wet and trembling passage keeping them on edge, aching for the uncontrolled thrusts that punctuated the deliberately slow slides.

Her head thrashed back and forth. Her body so on edge, she felt like she could shatter at any moment, yet the fast and slow combination kept bringing her right up to that edge without letting her fly over it.

Her body glistened with sweat by the time she felt him slide into her only two times before he began to pound into her. She thought this time he wouldn't stop – _she didn't want him to._

 _But he did._

Her whole body shook, pushed past the brink of control.

" _That's it baby,"_ he groaned. " _Now, I'll take you there."_ His words accompanied the last slow thrust of his impossibly large cock inside of her.

There was that last moment of stillness – where they both savored for a second the complete fullness while being on the brink of feeling something completely exquisite.

Then, with a growl, Darcy plunged into her. No more counting. No more slowing. Hands steadying himself on the back of the couch that moved with the force of his thrusts, he drove into her over and over again, mindlessly, in search of their release.

Beth felt herself come apart first. The explosion of her orgasm that had been grown and withheld ripped through her, her entire body flexing uncontrollably as the fire of her release seared through her, cauterizing every nerve ending with its power.

Darcy followed behind her, a short erupting from his lips as she felt his orgasm erupt inside of her. His hot release jetting inside of her, filling every part of her that his erection couldn't reach. His thrusts became less forceful but he continued to slide in and out of her, bringing them both back down gently to reality.

His body collapsed, but before he fell onto her, his arms came around her, rolling them both over to lay half on the couch, their legs hanging off the other end. Her body tensed at the sudden movement, but then relaxed when she found herself on top of him held securely against the warm strength of his chest. His finger lightly swirling over her lower back just above the rise of her ass. Nothing was more important in that moment than the love and comfort flowing between them.

"I don't deserve you, Beth," he murmured hoarsely; his chest rumbled underneath her.

"You do," she insisted, turning her face to look up at him. "Not because you're perfect, but because you are trying. That's what matters, Darcy – that we both are trying to be better for the other person."

"I will never stop trying to be a better person for you." His fingers tenderly traced along her cheek and chin.

"I believe you," she replied, heavy sincerity lacing every word. Her eyelids dropped, as he bent his head down to kiss her again. Gently his tongue explored her, sealing in every last ounce of love and desire that he felt into that kiss before he pulled away, his head falling back onto the couch with a deep sigh.

"It's not even lunch time yet and already you're exhausted." She teased him with a small laugh.

"Mmm… Are you complaining?" he murmured with a smile. His eyes still closed as he relaxed comfortably keeping her trapped on top of him.

"No, not yet," she replied, lightly biting his nipple.

Darcy groaned. "You're an intolerable and insatiable minx, Miss Bennet. How about you make us some coffee before you start to tempt me again?"

She smiled, kissing his chest before she pushed herself up, moving so that he gently slipped out of her. His eyes opened to look up at her when he felt the loss of her heat from around him; his cock was still hard enough to want to remain inside of her.

"As you wish, Mr. Darcy," she answered sweetly.

Walking towards the kitchen Beth felt his eyes on her naked, retreating form. She bent over to pick up her shirt and panties, hearing him groan at the view she'd given him. She bit her lip on a smile, pulling the fabric over her head.

"Don't," he rasped as she began to step into her underwear. "You won't be needing those for the rest of the day."

A shiver of anticipation ran down her spine at his words, so many delicious thoughts running through her head. Still, she couldn't help herself from pushing him, so she stepped one leg into the delicate lace.

"Beth," he growled. "I swear to God, if I have to remove those panties one more time today I will make sure they will be unable to be worn ever again."

Her hands dropped the fabric at his words, her breath catching. She wanted to make him prove his words, but she also didn't want this pair of underwear destroyed. She looked over her shoulder to catch his burning gaze before walking into the kitchen, leaving the offending garment lying on the floor where it would stay for the rest of the day.

When she walked back into the living room with their coffee, Darcy was dozing lightly on the couch. He'd pulled his sweats back on, his naked chest rising and falling subtly with his breath. As she stepped by him, his eyes opened.

Beth sat back down on the couch next to him. He moved to sit, giving her more room to pull one leg up onto the couch. Taking his coffee from her hand, he took a long sip of the darkly potent liquid.

"You're so much better at making coffee than I am," he said.

"Well, it does help when you don't spill half of it all over the kitchen." She laughed.

"True. Very true, minx."

She sipped coffee through her smile, keeping her eyes locked on his.

"So, how did you find this place?" he asked, eyeing her apartment.

"Why?" Her eyes narrowed. "When I first came up here, I was staying at an AirBnB not too far from here and one day I was walking by and there was a sign out that said, 'Apartment For Rent.' So, I called and inquired and yeah." She shrugged her shoulders. "Why do you ask? What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing is wrong with it. I just didn't know if there was a specific reason that you wanted to live here or if you would be amenable to a bigger place."

Beth rolled her eyes at him. "I thought we were going to wait to discuss moving in?"

"Who said anything about moving in?" he asked innocently. "I was just speaking hypothetically." The impossibly man then had the audacity to wink at her.

"And what if I said that I am very attached to this specific apartment?"

"Well, there are definitely certain part of it that I thoroughly enjoy – the bed, the kitchen counter, this couch…" His eyes flared suggestively as he mentioned all of the places that they'd had sex.

"Oh, that's it?"

"For now." He set his mug on the coffee table and laid back against the couch, his arm wrapping around her waist, pulling her with him.

She barely set her cup safely on the table before he pulled her down to lay on the couch with him, her back to his chest.

"So, what have you talked to your therapist about?" she asked, no longer afraid to dive into that conversation with him.

"Everything," he grumbled. His disgruntled response caused her to chuckle. "Those shrinks are so nosey."

"It's their job," Beth retorted with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah. I talked to her about everything. It started with you – _everything started with you._ We talked about my need for control, especially when it came to you. We talked about my inability to express my feelings verbally, which prompted the discussion about why that was and who conditioned me to be that way…" He trailed off, not wanting to talk about Caroline.

"And how does she think you are doing?" Beth wondered.

"She says I'm doing better; the real test though was seeing you again. That first time, in the hall. _Christ,_ I wanted you so badly – you have no idea. I was so close to spinning you against my door and having you in the hallway, not caring who saw. _You were mine –_ that was all I could think." She felt him breathing heavily against her. His hand slid up from her hip to cup her breast possessively.

"That's why you said you needed to see her…" She trailed off as his fingers began to toy with her nipple through her shirt.

"How did you know?"

Beth felt her face flush even though he couldn't really see her; she hadn't meant to admit that out loud, but it was better to get it out in the open anyway. "When I left my room afterward, I heard you on the phone in yours… I may have listened for a little. But, I thought you were talking to… well… I thought you were talking to your girlfriend – maybe even Caroline; I didn't know."

Darcy groaned, his hand squeezing her tender flesh firmly. "God, no. It was always you…"

Beth swallowed thickly, thinking how foolish she had been. "What did she say?"

"She pointed out that I _didn't_ in fact act on that possessiveness – which I guess was progress in her book."

"Well, yeah." Beth laughed. "You _didn't_ act on it, even though you wanted to. The old Darcy would have had me up against that door, and I will tell you honestly, that I probably wouldn't have had the right mind to stop you. So, thank you for being strong for the both of us, but you're far too hard on yourself."

"Mmm…" came his response. Thinking about what she had said, his hand left her chest and ran down along her side absentmindedly, dropping from her hip to the juncture between her thighs where the material from her shirt had bunched, barely covering what was beneath. "And then, to see you at the wedding – you were so damn beautiful – to touch you, to walk you down the aisle, and then to see you looking at him." His hand stopped abruptly at the flash of anger that ran through him.

Beth sucked in her breath because his fingers were achingly close to her center and because of the sudden tenseness in his body.

"I felt like I wanted to rip his head off because you were mine. Just like I felt last night when he dropped you off," Darcy growled.

A shiver ran through her at his words. She didn't want to encourage the destructive level of possessiveness that he'd had before, but she wouldn't lie – she _loved_ how fiercely possessive he was of her, especially when he was telling her like this.

"Just like last night?" she questioned, breathlessly. "I'm pretty sure that I assured you before – and after dinner – that he would know exactly who my heart belongs to."

"Alright, fine," he replied begrudgingly. "Not exactly like the first time. Especially because the first time I had to wait fucking hours before I could touch you… hours during which I thought I'd never see you again, especially after what happened with Caroline at the reception. But this time…" He trailed off as his fingers flicked the inch of fabric off of her, two fingers delving into her moist folds.

Beth gasped, jerking slightly against his hand.

"Tell me what else you felt," she whispered, unsure what she was enjoying more – the insight into Darcy's emotions or the light tease of his fingers over her clit.

"At the reception?" he asked.

"Yes—" Beth bit her lip to stop a moan from escaping as fire shot straight from her core from his touch.

"Anger – at Caroline. Helpless, jealous, watching you dance with Dempsey all night," he answered gruffly, annoyed to have to admit to those less-than-admirable feelings.

"Please," she scoffed lightly. "I'm sure you were not jealous about being spared from dancing."

"Beth, I would spend the rest of my life dancing with you, if it meant that I got to hold you again," he returned, his voice painfully hard, yet tender.

She moaned at the sweetness of his words, but before she could respond further, he continued his confession.

"After the reception, I was lost. It was like midnight and I was calling Megan. I felt like I was losing my mind after dealing with Caroline and then feeling like I'd lost you to Colin. I don't think I'd ever felt so helpless in my entire life, not even when I realized that you'd left and how much work I had to do to change. I felt like I'd worked so hard and none of it mattered because you were already his." He spun her to face him so that she could read every emotion in his eyes that he had experienced that night. "And then you showed up at my door in the middle of the night _._ And all of a sudden, I had hope again – I had a chance – that I could prove to you that you were meant to be with me."

"Darcy," she whispered in awe. "I don't know whether or not our love was written in the stars. But what I do know – what I've always known – is that I was meant to be yours."

"I love you," he whispered back, his lips falling to hers; their love burning brightly amidst the darkness that still tried to surround them.

His hands found her center again, wet and waiting. Sliding his sweatpants down, he lifted her leg to rest on his thigh and slipped into her. And that effectively ended their conversation until lunchtime.


	27. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Beth snuggled closer against the warm chest that lay underneath her, silently cursing her alarm that was going off on her nightstand. She wished she could will the stupid thing to shut itself off.

"I think you're being summoned," Darcy grumbled.

She groaned, rolling over to turn off the buzzer. She'd set it for earlier this morning so that they could go to the police station before she went into work.

Beth hadn't wanted the weekend to end. Cooped up inside her tiny apartment, they'd spent the days making up for their lost time – and lost conversations. Waking up this morning, she felt like the entire thing could have been a dream; Darcy had talked to her about his past, his father, his sister, being at Harvard with Charles… all the simple, silly details that she'd been craving to know.

He'd told her about all the times he'd saved Charles from missing class or from failing a class – not that Charles wasn't smart, but in his first year, he'd gone a little overboard with partying. After that year, he'd gotten better – or so Darcy said.

He'd told her of the anger issues he'd had in college – fighting with classmates who mocked him when he didn't want to go out drinking. And the time that George had spread a rumor about Georgiana around campus – Darcy had gone overboard and gone after everyone who had propagated it. He'd actually almost gotten expelled; his father stepped in and assured the school that it wouldn't happen again. He struggled with it – hating the feeling that someone had to fight his battles for him.

Her response? She passed on a little tidbit of wisdom that her father had told her – not that she always heeded it, but she did try to keep it in mind. Her father said to her once that he believed "the biggest falsehood you can claim about yourself or someone else is to be a 'self-made man'" – or woman. No one succeeds in life alone. They'd both agreed that her father was a very smart man.

She hadn't really had too many embarrassing tales to tell either, aside from the few horrible blind dates that her mother had set her up on; they had a good laugh at those, once Darcy got over his momentary jealousy that he admitted to this time.

Beth sighed, hoping that one day soon it would be back to this. But for right now, she had a crazy bitch to deal with and the Contest to prepare for.

Darcy kissed her forehead before getting out of bed. She took one more moment to enjoy the view of his ass before he pulled his sweats on and caught her staring.

"C'mon, gorgeous, time to go." Before she could pull any tricks to bribe him back to bed, he walked out into the kitchen to start the hot water for their coffees.

Beth threw the covers off of her, pulling on a grey pair of pants and white blouse. They both got ready in an ominous silence, knowing what needed to be done, but hating that they were being put in this position.

"What do you think she will try to do?" Beth asked hesitantly as she sipped her coffee.

"Honestly, anything to get you out of the picture," he said heavily. "I'm not trying to scare you, but you kept a lot from me in the past, too, and she is far more unstable now than she was before."

"What do you mean?" Beth asked. They'd had a silent pact over the past two days to not mention Caroline; she deserved no part in those tender moments of their relationship. Now – this morning – she was a fact that they had to face.

"After I got the restraining order against her, she went crazy. She tried to see me and contact me several times which obviously didn't work. Then, she started harassing Charles – demanding to speak to me. She tried to take his cell phone to call me. He said he had to dial 9-1-1 before she finally left."

"Oh my God…"

"I guess her parents finally stepped in, according to Charles. He'd asked them too because he was afraid she would assault Jane next," Darcy continued. "They told her that they would consider reinstating her inheritance basically if she could prove to them that she was adult enough to handle it – the deadline was Charles' wedding."

Beth picked up their empty cups and began to rinse them in the sink.

"And, as you know, she lost it… with only a few hours to go." Darcy laughed harshly. "I think seeing you, trying to prove to you that I was hers – even though you had a date – was just more important to her."

"Yeah, what happened to her after that?" Beth asked as they gathered their things, preparing to leave for the day.

"Honestly, I didn't know and I didn't care, until you told me what Anne said. I called Charles as soon as they got back last night after you fell asleep. He said that his parents have basically cut ties with her; they told her she will never get that money with the way that she sees fit to act."

"No wonder she is pissed."

"No, Beth. She is crazy, not just angry. She is crazy and I have no doubt that she blames everything on you – you took me from her, you've kept me from her, you've forced her hand which has caused her to lose the only other thing that she has been after: that money."

Beth swallowed over the lump in her throat knowing that what he said was the most likely truth. And if Caroline felt like Beth was the root of everything that had happened, that Beth was the only obstacle in her way from getting everything that she wanted, then yes, for the first time, Beth truly felt like her life was in danger.

"Hey," Darcy said softly, his arms coming around her. "I will never let anything happen to you, understand?" His fingers tipped up her chin so she could look him in the eye.

Beth nodded.

"Alright, let's go get this done. I've already hired more security to be with us today and then stay with you once you get to your office – discreetly, of course."

She nodded again – this time grateful for what she had previously considered an imposing intrusion.

Beth felt in a fog during the whole process. She answered questions when asked, admitted that she felt like she was in imminent danger. Even though Beth hadn't been harmed by her yet, Darcy provided the items – the evidence – that they'd collected and saved to show that her life had been threatened. His steely stare might have helped to make sure that they walked out of there with the R.O. in hand.

"You alright?" Darcy asked once they were back in the car on the way to her office.

"Yeah, I'm just glad that is over with – not that I really think a piece of paper is going to stop her," she murmured.

"It's going to be ok; I'm having my people try to find her to end this." He squeezed her hand to try to comfort her as they pulled up to the Dempsey Center.

She moved to open the door, but Darcy caught her first, pulling her close for a long, deep kiss. Beth felt her toes curl as the warmth of his love and her desire for him spread throughout her body. For those brief, blessed seconds, all of her fear and anxiety and stress – all of her thoughts of Caroline vanished. His kiss reminded her of the future – _of their future._ And when he pulled back, she found herself feeling stronger; she found herself determined to beat Caroline at whatever game she was trying to play.

"I love you. I'll see you later, gorgeous," he whispered against her lips.

"Mmm…" she moaned. "I love you, too."

He took another few seconds to finally release her and she knew that he was struggling to let her out of his sight; he wanted to come in with her, sit in her office all day, and make sure that nothing happened. But, for her, he let her go, trusting that the security that he'd hired would do their job.

Beth stepped out of the car, flanked by John and Arnie – the two burly men in charge of protecting her. Walking into the building, she waited for that feeling to come over her – the one where she felt like she was being watched, but nothing came.

Sighing with relief as they walked through the lobby and her keycard got her access to the office levels of the building.

 _Safe._

The word crossed her mind as they stepped off the elevator, and just as quickly it fled from her as she walked into her office, the giant vase of black roses sitting on her desk a familiar ominous greeting. She felt no fear or confusion, only anger.

Her mouth thinned as she stalked over to her desk, hearing John on the phone with Darcy telling him what they'd arrive to, meanwhile, Arnie went to find out who had brought them up here.

Beth looked through the deathly blooms to pluck out the card she knew was waiting for her.

 _Did you miss me like you missed him?_

 _You should know by now that we are a package deal._

 _One that you will soon no longer be a part of._

Beth went to crumple the note, but then figured that Darcy might want to see it or bring it to the police.

She looked up at John. "Tell him I'm fine – he doesn't need to come here."

With a brief nod, she heard as he relayed what she'd said to Darcy. Arnie walked back in the room at that moment to let them both know that the flowers were brought up by one of the security guards and that they had been delivered to the front desk by the florist they were ordered from.

Beth couldn't help the small sigh of relief knowing that Caroline hadn't stepped foot into the building.

She wouldn't give Caroline the upper hand at unnerving here – not anymore. She snapped a few photos of the vase with her phone and then picked it up, handing it to Arnie.

"I think these should make their way into the dumpster," she said. The very large man nodded in response, exiting the room with the flowers in search of a large enough trash can to hold them.

"Miss Bennet," came John's voice from behind her. "Mr. Darcy would like to talk to you."

Beth nodded, taking the phone from his hand. "Hello?"

"Are you sure you're ok? Are you sure you don't want me there?" His voice was tight and on edge, but he still remained calm.

"Yes, I'm fine. She wasn't here – the flowers were just delivered," Beth replied softly. "Are you outside?"

"I am." He sighed. "But, I'm not coming in unless you want me to."

"I'm really ok – and I have work to do." She bit her lip, knowing it was killing him to be sitting out there – so close, yet so far away from her.

"Was there a note?"

Beth let out a shaky sigh and picked up the card from her desk. "Yeah, I ahh…" She broke off as she saw Colin heading for the door to her office, his face drawn tight – whether it was from the stress of the Contest situation or having to see her after she'd told him she was back with Darcy, Beth couldn't be sure. "Colin's about to walk in and I know we are in damage control mode so I'll send you a photo of it."

"Ok," Darcy replied gruffly. "I'm going to head back over to the station now and show it to them."

"Ok." She wasn't sure what else it would possibly do – they already had given her the restraining her and the note wasn't explicitly threatening. "I'll see you later. You'll pick me up here when I'm done?"

"Of course."

"I love you."

"I love you."

Beth hung up the phone, handing it back to John as Colin walked in the room. He raised his eyebrows at her and then back at John, wondering who the very large, strange man was in her office.

"Colin, this is John. He's a ahh… friend of Darcy's," she explained weakly.

Eyebrows still raised at her, Beth watched Colin turn towards the other man, not buying the whole 'friend' bit.

"Nice to meet you." Col extended his hand and the men shook in greeting.

John turned back to her. "Arnie and I will be out in the hall if you need us, Miss Bennet." With a nod to both her and Colin, he left them alone.

Col looked back at her, his arched brow returning, wordlessly asking what the deal was.

"They're going to be with me the next few days. I hope that's ok," she said meekly.

"Is everything ok?" His expression changing from intrigue to concern. "Does this have to do with the woman who screwed with our permits."

Her eyes dropped from his as she nodded. "It will be ok. Darcy and I… well, we have a plan, I think."

"Beth," he said sternly. Her head popped back up at his tone, meeting his gaze. "You know if you need _anything_ you let me know. This is my town up here, I know a lot of people; if you are in trouble, I will do anything to help you."

Beth inwardly groaned at the kindness and concern he showed her after she'd broken his heart the other night.

"Thank you, Col. I really appreciate it. I know this… can't be easy for you, but your support means a lot to me. I will let you know if we need anything." she replied, attempting a warm smile before changing the subject. "So, what is going on? What can I do?" Her focus back on the task at hand – getting the Contest back up and running. "Did you speak to anyone in charge yet? Have they called?"

Colin sighed, his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, there was a voicemail waiting for me this morning when I got in from the head of the Board of Supervisors."

"And…" Beth said, fearing the worst based on his stunned expression.

"It's fixed, Beth," he continued in shock. "Everything is fine. The guy – I don't even remember his name – apologized for the confusion and inconvenience and said that all of the permits were in order and we are good to go."

"I don't understand. How is that possible? Did the woman you spoke to talk to him? Or maybe the people you know at City Hall?"

"I mean, unless she called the board over the weekend – which I highly doubt." Disbelief clear in his voice. "No, my guy isn't on the board, he's below the board, but would have at least been able to talk to them. I have no idea how this happened, but someone spoke directly with the head of the Board and had this fixed over the weekend. I mean, I'm going to call them now and confirm that the voicemail wasn't some random prank or something, but I doubt it…"

Beth felt her brow furrowing. She wasn't going to question or complain that the threat of having to cancel the Contest was gone.

"Was it Pat? Could he have gotten involved?" She couldn't stop herself from wondering. It just seemed so unbelievable that this huge problem was suddenly, miraculously resolved.

"No, I hadn't even told him what happened. I was trying to get all of the information first. He's the only person I could think of who would be well-known enough to be able to speak directly to the board – except he has no idea that any of this happened."

Beth felt her face relax in realization at his words. Pat wasn't the only one who would be that well-connected.

 _Darcy._

"It was Darcy," she murmured. Now, the shock was written all over her face.

 _That must have been what he was on the phone about the other morning._

"What? Seriously?"

"I told him after our dinner on Friday what was happening – mostly because I needed to tell him about Caroline and what she was doing and the only way to explain that was to tell him the issues we ran into."

"Holy shit," Col replied. "Well, tell him 'thank you' for me. Can't say I'm still not wary about him… and you… but, he didn't need to do this; I'm sure he didn't want to do this for me, but, shit… just tell him thank you."

"I will," Beth said with a small smile.

"Alright, I'm going to call and confirm with the city, just to ease my mind…" With a brief nod, he opened her office door and walked out, leaving her alone in her office.

Picking up her cell, she opened a text to Darcy.

~ _Thank you._

 _\- For what?_ He texted back.

~ _For fixing the permit situation that I told you about. I know it was you._

 _\- You're welcome._

 _~ I don't know how you did it, but I do know you didn't have to. Colin says thank you, also._

 _\- I did have to do it, and I didn't do it for him. I know how important this is to you._

 _~ Well, thank you._

 _\- For you – anything._

Beth smiled to herself, clicking off her phone and with a deep exhale, she sunk down into her desk chair. Opening up her computer, she was finally able to begin her morning and all the work that lay in front of her to get everything ready for this weekend.


	28. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Every day for the rest of the week the same florist dropped off a single, black rose at the front desk. None of them made it up to her office, of course. Each tossed immediately upon receipt. The florist had no information to give about who purchased them – even though Beth and Darcy knew full-well who it was; Caroline had sent a separate person each day, recruited from Craigslist, and paid in cash. There were no notes accompanying the solitary blooms. Caroline knew that they would never directly reach Beth anyway; she also knew she didn't need to send a note after the first one – her intentions were crystal clear.

Her bodyguards followed her into work each day, their silent solidarity a welcoming presence. There had been no sign of her – no feeling of being watched, no other little clues that Beth was still in her crosshairs.

 _It meant nothing._

They knew something was coming and Caroline was enjoying making them squirm. Darcy took her to work and picked her up, going into his temporary office throughout the day. He'd been having to do a lot of video conference calls with his associates back in New York since Fitz was in the process of acquiring a few smaller publishing firms in the city. Beth felt a small twinge of guilt whenever he had to take a business call around her, knowing that the process would be much easier if he were there to handle the business in person. But he would never think to leave her alone right now – and she wouldn't want him to.

It had gone unsaid, but they both knew that whatever Caroline was planning would happen on Saturday – the day of the Contest and the subsequent, celebratory ball. But what could they do except wait?

Security had been tightened. The guest list had been verified – for the ball at least. It was unlikely – at least they hoped – that she would do something at the actual race; there were too many people. It would be difficult to find Beth in such a crowd; the evening ball would be much easier. Darcy had added security to the hotel and insisted that they stay there the night before and after, to eliminate any opportunity for Caroline to get to her as she entered the building that evening for the event.

Beth had cut back her presence at the smaller events that had gone on throughout the week – the dinners, meetings with potential donors, etc. – letting Colin handle most of it. Darcy hadn't asked her to – she'd insisted. The last time, she'd taken Caroline's threats lightly, hardly believing that someone could really do anything that terrible; she knew better now.

She and Colin had jointly given tours of the Dempsey Center to the many high-profile guests, so she made sure that she still met with them. But she left all of the after-work schmoozing to Colin; he enjoyed it.

Darcy came up behind her, leaning over her shoulder to kiss her cheek, jarring her from her thoughts. He reached down to pick up her overnight bag.

"You ready?" he asked softly.

She gave a slight nod of her head – _not like she had much of a choice._

With a wary glance over her shoulder, Beth followed him out of her apartment, locking the door behind her. They made their way down to the car that was going to take them to the hotel. It was late – almost nine; they'd waited until after dinner before deciding to leave, hoping Caroline would assume that Beth would still be in her apartment that night.

Darcy grabbed her hand once the car started moving, squeezing her fingers within his.

 _He would keep her safe._

 _From what…_ now that was the question.

Her head tipped onto his shoulder, eyes closing as she tried to relax. As the days had gotten closer to the event, the quality of her sleep had been less and less. When she closed her eyes, all she kept seeing was Caroline coming after her, hurting her, or hurting Darcy – and there was nothing that she could do about it.

"Beth," Darcy murmured into her ear. Her eyes blinked open to see that they had arrived.

John and Arnie escorted them right to the elevator – the lobby still pretty bustling at this hour, probably with guests arriving last minute for the event tomorrow.

Beth glanced around as they passed through the open space, quickly examining the limited decorations and posters that had been put up for the Contest. Pat and Colin's faces plastered on several of the larger ones. She hadn't even told Col that they were staying here tonight; trying to keep her location as undisclosed as possible.

None of that would matter tomorrow. She could hide up in their room all day during the race if she wanted, but she would be at the ball tomorrow night; it was her idea – her project – and she couldn't miss it. Especially when they'd done everything that they could to stop Caroline from being able to intrude.

 _She wasn't going to live like a hermit._

Caroline was deranged – and deranged people made mistakes. Caroline would show up, try to get her away, and she would be arrested in the process. Beth had no doubt that that was how tomorrow night was going to go; her only concern was what collateral damage was going to be involved in achieving that resolution.

They made it to their suite with no problems. John brought their bags inside before leaving her and Darcy to themselves.

Darcy pulled her against him, kissing her deeply. The effect on her was an immediate muscle relaxant as she melted against him.

"I'm going to draw you a hot bath and order up some wine," he said hoarsely, kissing her forehead.

She sighed, resting her head on his chest, unbelievable grateful for his strength and support.

"Thank you."

Picking up her bag, she walked heavily into the bedroom, sitting down on the edge of the bed and falling back onto the soft landing of the plush comforter. She closed her eyes, listening the calming, soft stream of water beginning to flow from the bathroom.

Darcy's firm footsteps padded out into the living area of the suite. He picked up the phone and Beth heard him order a bottle of red wine up to the room. He kept his voice low, trying not to disturb her.

"Come on, gorgeous. Let's get you in that bath." Darcy lifted her up off the bed and carried her into the bathroom.

She sighed against him. "I can walk."

"I know," he replied. "It doesn't change the fact that I like to carry you."

"Mmm." He gently set her feet down onto the heated tile floor.

"Arms up," he instructed. Grabbing the hem of her blouse, he lifted it up and over her head, setting it on the countertop behind him.

Beth saw his eyes darkening as he revealed more of her skin, yet he kept his touch soft and focused.

Next, his fingers moved to the waistband of her jeans, undoing the zipper and tugging the snug fabric down over her hips. As he bent down to finish removing them from her legs, she placed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. Raising one leg and then the other, she let Darcy slip her jeans off of her, leaving her standing just in her underwear.

"Turn around," he instructed. His voice was tight; Beth could hear the strain of desire in each syllable – desire that he was keeping under firm control. _For now._

She did as he asked, giving him her back so that he could unclasp her bra. His fingers gently trailing up along the straps to pull them off of her shoulders. Moving her arms away slightly from her body, the material slipped down and away from her, caught only by Darcy's fingers that prevented it from falling to the floor.

He carefully set it on him of her shirt and pants that were on the counter by the sink. He stepped around her to turn the water from the tub off since it had filled completely. By now, the room had steamed to the point where it was hard to see anything in the mirror over the sink and her body shivered in anticipation of the soothing heat of the water waiting in front of her.

She saw Darcy's jaw muscle flex as he moved back behind her, his eyes catching a glimpse of her naked breasts; her nipples erect from the light tease of his touch. His hands now seemed much hotter as they came to rest on her waist. His fingertips trailing lightly along the edge of her thong as though he were debating whether or not to take it off.

 _As though he were debating whether or not he could control himself if he did._

He cleared his throat, a sign of his determination as Beth felt the thin, soft material begin to slide down over her hips. Again, her arm came back to rest on his shoulder as she stepped out of her panties, now standing completely naked in front of him.

His hands on her calves, they trailed lightly up over her legs as he moved to stand. Pausing as he came up, he lightly nipped on the velvet skin of her ass. His hands followed his mouth, moving softly over the curves of her body before coming to rest just above her waist – his fingers tantalizing close to the underside of her breasts.

Beth sighed, about to lean back against him and let him pleasure her into a relax exhaustion when his voice rasped in her ear.

"Time to get in."

He guided her over to the tub, keeping her steady as she stepped into the steaming, hot water. A loud moan escaped from her lips at the wonderful feeling of submerging her stressed body into the almost-scalding liquid. She lowered herself carefully into the tub, noticing how intently Darcy was watching her – both because he wanted to make sure she didn't hurt herself and because he couldn't take his eyes off of her naked form, jealous of the water that was caressing every inch of her skin.

Only when her body was finally covered did the tension begin to leave his body. Beth looked up at him, her eyes meeting the dark, desirous depths of his. She saw the light sheen of sweat on his skin, the stiffness throughout his body, especially against the front of his pants. She bit her lip, half-expecting him to jump in the tub with her fully-clothed.

A knock at the door echoed through the room, yet his gaze never left hers. His focus remained on her for another few seconds before breaking suddenly as he walked out of the room to answer the door for the wine that he'd requested.

Darcy returned to her private spa a few minutes later holding a glass of wine for her. Beth moaned softly, realizing that she must have dozed off, her head laying back against the edge of the tub.

"Do you want this?" he asked. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Beth smiled at his apologetic tone. "It's fine, I'll take it, thank you." She reached for the glass, enjoying the shiver that crept up her spine as her fingers brushed his.

She sat up further in the tub, the water rolling back and forth, precariously close to exposing the tips of her breasts to his waiting gaze. The water calmed as Beth began to sip the deep red liquid from the glass, letting it heat her from the inside out.

Darcy leaned back against the countertop, crossing his legs in front of him, he eyes remaining locked on her and the seductive picture that she posed – her hair loosely piled on top of her head, her body teasingly obscured by the properties of the water, languorously sipping from her wine glass.

"So, after tomorrow we can start looking at apartments?" he asked deeply, a mischievous smile spreading across his face.

Her eyes opened languidly, turning to his. "Seriously? Are you trying to make me more stressed?" She laughed. "You're incorrigible. I haven't decided yet – I haven't even thought about that yet."

"Absolutely not," he began seriously. "I just know that you've already decided, no matter how much you are trying to deny it now…" He trailed off, looking at her intently.

She stared back at him, not breaking his gaze.

 _He was right; it was so annoying when he was right._

There were a lot of unknowns right now, but whether or not Darcy would be in her life after this weekend was not one of them. Whether it was here or New York, her current apartment or a new one… every possibility for her future included him in it beside her.

"I wouldn't be so sure, Mr. Darcy," she teased. "I might need more convincing." With a smile, her head tipped back again along the edge of the tub, her eyes closing to fully enjoy the warmth of the water and wine mixing in and around her.

Beth felt herself drift off back towards that half-sleep stupor that she'd been comfortably resting in. Just as she began to reach that state, the left side of her body began to warm and tingle. Her eyes fluttered open to see Darcy kneeling next to the tub, his eyes molten with only a singular ambition reflecting out from them.

She watched as though in a trance as he gently plucked her almost-empty wine glass from her hand, setting it on the tile floor next to him. Next, she watched him slowly unbutton the left cuff on his shirt, rolling the crisp fabric up the length of his forearm, his eyes still trained on hers.

"What are you doing?" she whispered hoarsely.

His hand reached up underneath her chin as he leaned over the side of the tub to kiss her softly. His tongue licked over the soft swell of her lower lip and she sighed against his mouth.

"I'm convincing you," he whispered against her. As his words brushed over her, his hand slid down from her chin, along her neck, dipping beneath the edge of the water in search of the treasures hidden beneath. "Just relax."

 _As if she could do anything else… as if she would even want to…_

She tried to hold his steamy stare, but when his fingers closed over her breast, her eyelids could no longer stay open. Her eyes closed taking in every sensation – the water, the wine, and now the tease of his hand kneading her swollen flesh.

He was in no rush, tenderly massaging her flesh underneath the cover of the water; his movements slow and controlled to not overly agitate the calming liquid. He gently teased her nipple, pulling the silken, firm peak between the pads of his fingers. He rolling the bud back and forth until she heard the softly insistent moans escaping from her mouth.

His hand slowly released her, moving gradually through the water to her other breast, teasing it in a similar fashion. All the while, his eyes were trained on his hand, his mouth wishing that he could enjoy everything that his fingers were leaving behind.

Beth moaned, her legs shifting underneath the water to try to easy the steady, intense ache that was building between her thighs. Darcy cleared his throat at the swish of water over his arm, his need rising as well, yet painfully unattended to.

One last brush over his thumb over her nipple before his hand began to float down over her stomach, headed for the center of her need, leaving the rolling water to continue to stimulate the sensitized skin of her breasts.

Sinking his arm further beneath the water level, his fingers brushed over her folds, her legs – already bent – immediately spread wider, welcoming him to her core. Even though she was immersed in water, Darcy knew that she was wet for him.

His fingers slipped into her, diving immediately for the swollen nub that was aching for him. Beth gasped loudly as his fingers rubbed over her clit. Her hips flexing, causing the water to wave against the edges of the tub.

His hand cupped over her, pausing all movement. "Relax," he whispered, waiting for the water to calm before he began to pleasure her again.

His fingers teased over her, slowly and deliberately increasing their speed and pressure. Her moans became louder, her body tensing as she tried to stay still underneath torture of his touch, not wanting to flood the room with the bathwater. It became harder and harder as he steadily pleasured the sensitized nub, purposefully – and torturously – not pushing his fingers inside of her; it would have been too much, too fast.

His fingers swirled rhythmically over her, a small whirlpool forming at the top of the water as the only indication that something far more turbulent was going on underneath. Her moans grew louder.

"That's it, gorgeous. Just relax. Let yourself come," he whispered hoarsely.

His fingers moved faster, bringing her to that edge.

" _Darcy,"_ she gasped his name as her orgasm washed over her. Her hips rising uncontrollably underneath the water, causing it to roll and crash against the sides of the tub; some spilling out over the edge, drenching the floor and only partially wetting the clothes Darcy had tried to keep dry.

She floated back down from the high, her eyes opening to see her hands clenched on the sides of the tub. Darcy's arm was still buried in the depths of the water, slowly stroking over, keeping that fire inside of her still burning.

Her heavy breathing still labored as her eyes, molten with the deeper fire that he continued to stoke, met his.

"I'm still not convinced," she said breathlessly. His fingers immediately applied a harder pressure to her core, forcing a gasp from her mouth.

"Oh, I'm not done yet," he promised hoarsely.

He stood abruptly, ripped his shirt off, and grasped her hands from the side of the tub. Darcy pulled her firmly to stand, not caring about the water that continued to spill resentfully over the edge of the tub. Grabbing a towel off of the hook, he wrapped it around her haphazardly.

He picked her up out of the tub, ignoring the water that dripped off of her legs as he carried her back into the bedroom. Gently laying her on the bed, he let the towel unfold around her, letting it stay underneath her in an attempt to keep the bed relatively dry.

Darcy looked down at her. With a groan that said he couldn't help himself, he bent over, his mouth capturing one of her nipples that had been hidden from him before. Sucking on the hard bud, his hand drifted back between her thighs. His fingers returned to their repetitive motions, swirling around her center, stroking her desire back to a frenzied level. There he stayed, her body arching underneath him in pleasure, begging for more.

With a grunt, he pulled himself away from her. Standing, his hands roughly undid his belt. Beth watched him, with heavy and heady eyes, walk around the bed to stand directly in front of her. He unzipped his fly, pulling his pants over his hips – not bothering to take them completely off – and climbing onto the bed between her thighs.

There was no more prep; the next thing that touched her was the head of his erection at her soaking entrance. With a groan, he pushed completely inside of her.

Beth gasped, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist to pull him as deep as she could. She felt his body begging to be let loose, to slam into her and find the release he'd been denying himself. Instead, he slowly pushed in and out of her, continuing his focus on building her need.

She moaned as he slid inside of her against her quivering muscles. The heat and friction between them building. With each thrust, he lost more and more of that thin veil of control; each thrust becoming harder, trying to push even further inside of her.

" _Convinced?"_ Hearing him on the edge of the release had her arching against him for hers.

" _Yes."_

He groaned deeply at her response, all remnants of restraint lost. He plunged into her mindlessly, his hand coming between them to flick over her clit. The brief motion sent her soaring over that familiar cliff.

" _Darcy!"_ she yelled his name as she came around him. Her muscles squeezed him, pushing him over the edge of orgasm. He groaned her name as his release flooded her.

The friction between their bodies began to slow. Darcy dropped down onto his elbows above her, their breaths mingling between them.

"Convinced, gorgeous?" he rasped again softly, gently biting her lower lip.

"Mmm…" she murmured, flexing her legs pulling him deeper inside of her as the first part to her answer. "For now…"

He laughed and Beth felt the gentle vibration of his body all along hers up and inside of her core.

"Minx." He kissed her tenderly. "Alright, time for you to go to bed. We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

She nodded slightly, her body tensing in revolt when she felt him pull out of her. Darcy stood, removing his pants that had fallen around his calves. Taking the towel that still lay beneath her, he gently dried between her thighs.

Lifting her lightly, he slid the towel out from underneath her, tossing it onto the floor in the bathroom. Pulling the covers down, Beth slipped underneath them, snuggling into the cool sheets, anxiously waiting for Darcy to join her.

A few minutes later, she felt him slip underneath the covers, pulling her back firmly against the heat of his chest.

"I love you, Beth," he whispered into her ear.

She smiled sleepily, murmuring "I love you, too" just before she faded into her dreams.


	29. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Beth woke up with a gasp, her whole body covered in sweat.

"Beth, are you ok?" Darcy said, jolted awake by her shock.

 _She'd been having a nightmare._

"Bad dream," she answered breathlessly, turning to face him, just realizing that she had tears in her eyes.

She couldn't remember most of the dream, but it ended with Caroline pointing a gun at her and firing. The shock hadn't come from the bullet heading towards her, it had come from seeing Darcy lunge in front of her to protect her.

"Shh…" He turned her towards him, holding her tightly against his chest, his hands rubbing lightly along the length of her back.

He tipped her head up so that she could meet his gaze. "I swear, I will never let anything happen to you," he said hoarsely, his eyes locked with hers as his lips lowered to kiss her.

Beth shuddered, letting the pressure from his mouth convince hers to open; the warm slide of his tongue inside erasing the anxiety that had built inside of her.

" _Nothing,"_ he repeated against her mouth, continuing to kiss her.

His hand reached down to pull her leg up over his hip, placing her center against the erection he'd awoken with. He made no move to enter her, just resting his hardness against the growing wetness between her thighs.

Beth sighed against him, the tension leaving her body, replaced by the growing desire for Darcy and his closeness.

At her sigh, he pulled his mouth back from hers. "One day – _soon,"_ he rasped, angling her hips further against him, flexing his hips to slide the length of his cock against the moisture slipping from her core. "We are going to wake up like this. No. Not one day." Beth felt the head of him positioned at her entrance, beginning to slide easily inside her waiting passage. " _Every day,"_ he groaned.

Beth bit her lip at the exquisite pleasure that radiated from the pleasurable expansion of her muscles to accommodate him.

 _"Every day,"_ he murmured again into her ear as he began to thrust into her.

Beth closed her eyes, feeling the future that was within her grasp just as surely as she felt his movement inside of her, bringing her towards release. His hand came over her hip, his fingers finding her sensitive bud. She moaned against the onslaught of sensations at her core.

" _Every day, gorgeous."_ His gruff whisper continued. " _That's it, just come for me; show me you want this too."_

Her mouth dropped open with a silent gasp as her muscles contracted around him, her orgasm washing over her like the break of dawn, lighting up everything around her, eliminating every corner of darkness.

Behind her, Darcy groaned her name, pressing her hips back hard against him, and she felt him let go. His pleasure claimed him, his release covering her – _claiming her_ – and every cell inside of her relished the feeling.

Darcy held her against him and stayed resting inside of her for several minutes. He pulled her tightly to him, whispering words of love and comfort in her ear. She was half-tempted to turn her head to make sure it was the 'Intolerable' Mr. Darcy who was still in bed with her, but she couldn't find the strength – and she didn't really doubt that it was.

Belt felt her entire body relax. By the time he whispered that it was time to get up, she'd completely forgotten about her nightmare and all of the fear and uncertainty that had come along with it.

He was the first up, slipping out of her and out of the bed. Not bothering with his sweats, he walked naked into the bathroom to wash himself off and brush his teeth.

With a small, resentful moan, Beth pushed herself up out of bed and followed his lead. By the time she was brushing her teeth, her body was fully awake and anxious for what the day had in store.

Carefully maneuvering around each other in the small space, they both dressed in efficient silence, not wanting to break the magical tenderness of the morning with a discussion that would eventually have to be had.

Beth walked out into the kitchen, stopping in her tracks when she heard a phone vibrating.

"Is your phone ringing?" she yelled to him, trying to move towards the noise.

"No."

Digging underneath her jacket and the pillow at the end of the couch, she finally found her phone, vibrating against the armrest.

"Hello?" she answered breathlessly without even looking to see who had called.

"Hey, Beth," Colin's familiar voice sounded from the other end of the line. "Everything ok?"

"Oh, hey. Sorry, yeah. Just couldn't find my phone there for a minute. What's up? Everything ok? I'm about to leave in a few minutes, so I should be there on time. Is that ok?" Her concerned questions rolling off of her tongue before she could stop them.

Beth propped her phone against her shoulder, walking back into the kitchen to try to continue to get herself ready to leave while she waited for Colin's response.

"Yes. No. Well, I'm not sure," he began disjointedly. "Everything is fine with the Contest. I just got down here to the starting line – people are already here and lining up. But don't rush, it's fine. We are handling it."

"Oh, ok."

"That's not what I'm calling about though. Hannah just called me." He paused to talk to one of the volunteers for a moment. "Sorry. Hannah just called; she was going over the guest list for tonight again. I don't know if it's anything, but I just wanted to call you and let you know because it stuck out to her. She told me that a 'Mrs. C. DeBourgh' is on the guest list."

Beth felt her heart drop into her stomach.

"Beth?" Colin asked into the silence from her end of the line.

"Yeah. Sorry. Yes, that name does mean something to me."

"Is it her?"

"I don't know." Beth answered honestly. "It could be. It probably is."

It was unlikely that Mrs. DeBourgh was in Boston for this. Knowing that Caroline was coming up here for Darcy, and was after Beth, the most likely explanation was that Caroline was here using the DeBourgh name.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked her, his voice deadly serious. "I can have them not let her in, if you think that it's Caroline."

Beth stayed silent for a minute, staring into the bedroom, as if getting a glance of Darcy would give her an answer.

 _What if it was Mrs. DeBourgh?_

 _What if it was Caroline?_

 _What if this would be their best opportunity to get her out of their lives for good?_

She cleared her throat, making an executive decision that she hoped Darcy would be ok with.

"No. Just leave it. Let her in."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. We will deal with it. Thank you for letting me know," she said sincerely. "I'll see you soon."

"Ok…" Colin replied, unconvinced, but he didn't argue. "See you soon."

Beth hung up the phone, staring at the blank screen for a second before Darcy stepped into the kitchen and grabbed her attention.

"Who was it?" His deep brown eyes pinned her where she stood.

"Colin." She bit her lip.

"Everything ok?" Darcy asked, walking into the kitchen to stand in front of her.

"Hannah realized that 'Mrs. DeBourgh' is registered on the guest list for tonight," she explained, her eyes meeting his.

"Caroline." He didn't miss a beat, knowing exactly what Beth had thought when she heard the news. "I don't… want you to go tonight."

"I know…" she began, taking a deep breath before bravely continuing. "But, I have to. And not just for the Center – but, for us."

"I don't understand," Darcy said, a hard edge entering his voice.

"Darcy, she's here because of me – for me. She won't stop until she gets that. We already have extra security; I already have you. And, there are going to be close to a hundred other people. I can't think of a safer place for Caroline to think she is getting what she wants…"

"What are you saying?" he asked tightly.

"I'm saying that you need to let me do this. I need to be the bait; I'm what she wants. I need to go and pretend like nothing is wrong, like I don't know that she's going to be there. I need her to believe she's in the clear to do whatever the next step in her plan is, and then when she is there, the police can arrest her for violating the restraining order."

" _Christ,"_ Darcy cursed.

"Darcy…"

"No." He cut her off. "I know." He rubbed a hand over his mouth, his entire body tense. "I don't like this, Beth. I don't fucking like this one fucking bit."

"I know – I don't either – but you know that I'm right. You know that unless we catch her in the midst of her plan, this game – this torture will continue."

"Beth, she is deranged and dangerous." His eyes were dark with concern and displeasure.

"Darcy," she said, putting her hand flat on his chest. "I know you won't let anything happen to me. I know that whatever she is planning, she won't get away with it. But, I also know that if we don't let her feel like she is safe to continue that plan, she will continue to haunt us and shadow our relationship."

" _Fuck."_ He cursed again. His hand came up to roughly grab the sides of her face, barely angling it up towards him before his lips crashed down on hers, demanding her kiss.

She opened beneath him, letting him ravage her mouth as he searched for comfort in her presence. She knew that he was going to acquiesce to her request by the way he kissed her – needing her love, her assurance in that embrace that she was going to be ok.

"It's going to be fine," she whispered, pushing herself back slight from where he'd pulled her against his chest. "Nothing is going to happen to me. It's too public…" She tried to reassure him but his eyes still remained clouded with doubt.

"I'm fucking scared, Beth," he said hoarsely, kissing her lips quickly again. "I swear, if she touches one _fucking_ hair on your head…"

"I know." Her hand reached up behind his neck, pulling his lips to hers again.

She had no more words of comfort or reassurance. She'd given him as much as she could to explain why everything would work out. It wasn't a matter of being rational anymore; if it were himself that Caroline was after, he would have suggested the same thing with no concern for himself, but because it was her, it was a whole different story. There were no words that would be enough to ease his concern; the only way to reach him now was through their physical embrace.

So, she kissed him as though it was the only thing keeping her alive. She kissed him as though, when their lips broke, he would be lost to her forever. She kissed him with the promise that this embrace would continue tonight… and tomorrow… and the next day… forever.

Beth finally pulled back when she felt like most of the tension had left his body. Her eyes opened, searching for his; his gaze was still wary, tinted slightly with anger and the briefest touch of defiance. She knew there would always be that part of him that wanted him to refuse her idea, throw her over his shoulder, tie her to the bed, and go take care of Caroline on his own.

 _But that part was no longer dominant._

"I have to get going," she whispered.

His jaw muscles flexed for a second before he nodded. "I'll meet you back here before the ball. We'll go together."

She nodded, knowing that even though he agreed to her decision to be the bait, he wasn't going to let her do it without being by her side the entire time.

"What are you doing this morning?" she asked, picking up her bags.

"I'm going to go take care of some things for tonight," he said cryptically.

"Security?" He just stared at her in acknowledgement. "I trust you, Darcy. Just, please, don't do anything that will potentially scare her away. We need to catch her tonight, not have her run back to regroup and reorganize and return another day. I'm tired of this." Her frustrated exhaustion with Caroline's game was evident in her tone.

He nodded with a sigh. "Me too, gorgeous, me too."

"I'll see you later."

"Make sure John and Arnie are with you all day," he said sternly. Beth opened the door to find both of those men waiting for her on the other side to escort her down to the car that she was sure was waiting.

She walked over to him, giving him one more quick kiss before stepping into the hallway of the hotel. She wished the gentlemen a quiet 'good morning,' but was too preoccupied to keep any sort of cordial conversation going. Her thoughts flew to the myriad of things she was going to face today. Unfortunately, the Contest itself, was the further thing from the front of her mind.

 _She had been right, right?_

To not make any changes to their plans tonight? To convince Darcy that Caroline wouldn't try anything in such a public place? Her head shook slightly, reaffirming to herself the premise that it was too crowded of an event for Caroline to attack her in any way. No, if she knew Caroline from their limited interactions, the woman was devious and liked to play these games to keep them on edge and worried and anxious. She enjoyed tormenting them, which is most likely what she was going to try tonight.

She would probably approach Beth again, discreetly threaten her, imply that she had been the one to cause the problems for the race today, hinting that there would be more of that to follow in the future if she didn't give up her claim on Darcy.

Beth laughed. _She was never letting him go – and for the first time, she knew he felt the same._

The bodyguards flanked her as they exited the elevator, discreetly surrounding her as they made their way through the crowded lobby and out into Copley Square. People were already beginning to congregate along the grassy green, setting up their tents with merchandise for the event as well as food and water stations for the participants as well as spectators.

She stopped for a moment, taking in the scene – everyone bustling around to get set up, the quietness of the streets around them no longer able to be traversed by cars, the blooming purple flowers that bordered the square. Or, maybe she was just looking for Caroline – a practical impossibility to spot in such an open space.

"Sorry," she apologized quietly to John and Arnie who had stopped and looked back at her with concern, wondering if she saw something. "Thought I forgot something upstairs." Her excuse relaxing them slightly as she began to move again, walking towards the Public Library to continue down Boylston street towards the starting line where Colin would be waiting.

"Beth!" She heard Col exclaim as she got closer to their main tent, finally spotting him through the small group of people that had congregated. "Great, you're here."

"Yeah, what's up? What can I do?" she asked, forcing an enthusiastic smile to her face, eager to immerse herself in the small tasks of the event to get her mind off of Caroline.

"Nothing – ahh, I mean, nothing more than what you were going to do," he clarified. "I was just getting worried about you. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Are you sure you don't want me to do anything about the guest list?" he asked again.

"Yes. I'm sure. Darcy and I have a plan," she said quietly, moving around Col towards the registration table that would serve as her temporary desk for the morning.

"And what's that?" he asked, following her around.

She rolled her eyes – out of his sight – not wanting to get into this discussion here or now.

"I don't mean to pry, but this is my event, my clinic. I need to know if there is something going on that I should be worried about." His tone was firm, speaking her to like her boss – something he hadn't done since, well, since the week they'd hired her. As if realizing how demanding he sounded, he added, "I'm also worried about you, Beth. You know that I am."

She sighed, pulling out her computer and setting it on the table before turning to face him.

"We think it's Caroline. We know she's coming for me, so we're going to let her think that that is what she is getting. We're going to let her think she's safe to do whatever it was that she had planned, and then when she approaches me and threatens me – or whatever it is that she wants to do – we will have proof of her violating the restraining order and will have her arrested."

Colin looked almost as displeased as Darcy had at her plan. "Are you sure –"

"Col," she interrupted. "I'm not going to argue about this for the second time this morning. It's the only way to end this once and for all. We have a plan. The Ball is going to be super public; it's going to be fine." She tried to keep her tone from sounding too exasperated, but she wasn't sure that she had succeeded.

Col looked like he wanted to say more, but instead just pursed his lips, pulling his gaze from here to look at the group of people approaching the booth to register. "Let me know if you need anything," was all that he said before the waves of participants began to arrive, effectively distracting them from all further discussion of the evening event, their focus completely pulled onto the immediate tasks at hand.

Beth plastered a smile on her face, one she hoped that would last throughout the rest of the day.

 _One that she hoped would become real tonight after all of this was over._


	30. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Her legs ached as John and Arnie escorted her back to her hotel room. Aside from the first hour or so this morning sitting at the registration table, she'd been running around the city like a chicken without a head, making sure that each heat of the race was organized and started on time, that the rest stations were restocked throughout the day, and then helping Col congratulate the top placers at the end of each race.

Stepping off of the elevator, her legs felt like jello and she was sure that she must be sleep-walking. Opening the door to the room, she barely crossed the threshold before Darcy was through the bedroom door and lifting her into his arms.

Having the weight removed from her feet felt incredible, but it was a feeling quickly surpassed by the feel of his lips on hers, the door closing softly behind her leaving John and Arnie to their posts directly outside of it.

"You need to be better at answering your fucking phone," he rasped, kissing along the length of her jaw.

 _Shit. Her phone._

She'd shoved it in her windbreaker pocket earlier in the morning and then completely forgotten about it; she'd been using walkies to communicate with Colin. She groaned. She knew that John or Arnie must have been in contact with him throughout the day since his tone was more frustrated concern than anger.

 _And since the SWAT team hadn't come looking for her…_

"I missed you too," she said, searching for his lips again and the warm peace that they gave her.

"How did it go?" he asked, setting her feet back on the ground to take her bag from her. He then removed her jacket, throwing it over the back of one of the chairs in the living room area.

"Good. Really good," she replied. "Just a lot of running around. I feel like I ran the length of the course today… twice. I'm so exhausted."

"Have you eaten?" _She should have known that was coming._

"Yes. Colin made sure that I had a sandwich around lunch time – and that I took it with me as I made my rounds." She saw the flicker of jealousy in his eyes, hearing that Colin had made sure she was taken care of. The flicker was quickly overshadowed with gratefulness.

"Good," came his gruff response. "What can I do? Do you want to lay down? We have some time before the Ball…"

 _She wanted to lay down, but they didn't have that much time and she was covered in sweat._

"No, I think I just need a good shower," she murmured.

Darcy nodded, walking into the bathroom and turning on the shower for her.

"I'm going to have John go get you some yogurt to eat as a snack. I know you've eaten, but you've also pushed yourself hard all day. I don't want your blood sugar crashing, especially if you are still intent on going to the ball tonight."

"Thank you – if they have vanilla or strawberry, that would be great." Her answer indicated that she had no intention of backing down and hiding in her room this evening.

He just nodded, his eyes resigned, as she walked past him into the steam-filled bathroom. She glanced over her shoulder to see him walking towards the door to their room, opening it to speak to John. Closing the bathroom door behind her, Beth stripped off all of her sweaty clothes, taking a deep breath of the moist air as she stepped underneath the burning water.

She stood for a few moments letting the water warm through her before quickly washing the exertion of the morning from her. She wanted to stay longer, but the thought of a quick power-nap before tonight was too tempting to resist.

With a towel wrapped around her, she walked into the bedroom to see Darcy sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for her – yogurt and spoon in hand.

"Don't," he began, seeing her face, "even think about telling me you are too tired to eat."

Beth grumbled underneath her breath, taking the carton from him and tearing off the top. He shifted on the bed to sit against the headboard, kicking off his shoes to put his legs up in front of him.

"Come and sit." He motioned for her to sit between his legs. She sagged onto the bed, her legs crossed in front of her as she took her first bite. "Now relax." His voice rolled over her just as his hands reached for her shoulders, beginning to massage her muscles.

She sighed deeply at the feeling of his hands working out the tension in her muscles. Her hand raised the spoon to her mouth methodically while the rest of her body focused on the magic his hands were creating. Finishing her snack, she reached over to set the empty container on the nightstand, looking at the clock; there was still an hour and a half before she needed to be downstairs for the ball.

She raised her eyebrow at Darcy whose hands had paused, holding her sides as she had bent to dispose of the carton.

"Lay back," he said softly. "I'll wake you in a half an hour."

Beth bit her lip, relaxing back against the warmth of his chest and closing her eyes. His arms encircled her, protected and shielded her. And within moments, she was fast asleep in the comfort of his embrace.

As promised, the whisper of her name in her ear pulled her out of her slumber.

"Time to get up." The deep rumble of his voice suggested that Darcy might have dozed off as well with her.

She moaned, turning her head to the side to peer out at the clock. Sure enough, she had just under an hour to get ready before she needed to be downstairs greeting guests with Colin.

She stilled for one more minute against him, enjoying the simple silence – the calm before the storm – that she felt with him. All she wanted was more days like this – more times like this. His fingers began to lightly stroke up and down her arms, a gentle reminder to stay awake.

"You know I'm more than ok with staying in bed with you all night, gorgeous," he rasped.

Beth groaned, finding the strength to push herself up off of him to the edge of the bed. "Nice try." She stood, the towel that had been wrapped around her coming loose and dropping to her waist. She quickly grabbed the fabric, tugging it back up to cover her chest. She peered over at him, unsurprised by the desire that was evident in his eyes, and the devious smirk that had spread over his face.

"Don't tempt me," he said. His hand shot out in an effort to grab her ass, but Beth quickly jumped forward and out of his reach, laughing to herself as she darted into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

With that smile still staining her lips, Beth quickly curled her hair with her straightener – not entirely pleased with the result – _but that's what happens when you fall asleep with your hair still wet._

Twisting the deflated curls into a loose knot, she pinned her hair up against the base of her neck. Peeking out the bathroom door to make sure Darcy wasn't waiting to grab her – and ravish her – again, she walked over to the closet where the dry-cleaning bag hung that held her dress for the night.

The dress was simple and black. It was a work event, which was one of the reasons that she'd picked black; the other reason, well, the other reason wasn't really a reason anymore and she wished she'd gone with some other deeper tone.

Humming to herself, she dropped her towel, stepping into the floor-length sheath through the opening in the back. She pulled up the front of the dress to cover her chest, reaching behind her neck to hook the halter straps together. From the front, everything about the dress was very conservative – the color, the length, the high neck. From behind though… her entire back was exposed with the deep cowl. The silken material flattered her frame; the open back elongated her torso and the halter straps showed off her arms.

She turned to walk back into the bathroom where the floor-length mirror was and almost ran into Darcy; she hadn't heard him come in, but she should have known by the way her body was alert that he was there.

"Beautiful," he said hoarsely, his eyes greedily taking in the sight of her.

"Thank you," she replied, glancing over him. "You don't look too bad yourself." She bit the corner of her lip at her tease; 'too bad' was a gross understatement. Darcy was in a jet-black tux. The man looked like a sexier James Bond – and he looked like he hadn't even noticed.

Beth ducked her head as heat rose into her cheeks. She bent over to grab her simple black pumps that she'd brought along to wear, swaying slightly as she went to slip them on; they were probably seven years old, but they'd held up so well and were such a classic that she could never justify buying a new pair. Darcy was immediately by her side; his hands on her waist to steady her. She felt the hardness of his body against hers as she maneuvered one foot and then the other into the heels.

"Thanks," she said, standing up again; the movement placing her back flush against him. Beth enjoyed the almost imperceptible moan that escaped his lips, beginning to feel his erection growing against her hip.

A shiver licked up her spine as she felt the light touch of his fingers tracing along the cowl of the dress. "Are you sure I can't convince you to stay here?" he murmured against her neck.

Beth turned in his arms, reaching her lips up to his. "You know you want this over with just as much as I do…" He grumbled at the slight truth in her assumption. "Later, you can convince me of whatever you want." She gave him a brilliant smile before pulling from his arms, leaving him standing in the bedroom, tense with desire and dread.

Taking a look at herself in the mirror, she tossed on some nude lipstick, throwing the tube into her small clutch, and turned back to face him – _and the night ahead._

"I'm ready," she said softly.

"And if I'm not?" He laughed harshly, a thread of truth to his question. "Beth, you are sure—"

"Yes," she said firmly, walking back over to him. "I'm sure."

"I just don't want anything to happen to you," he said again, grimly.

"Nothing is going to happen to me," she reassured him even though there was no way she could completely promise that. Her hand moved to rest on his arm, trying to calm his mind. "Darcy, I love you; I will always love your need to be my savior. But this isn't really about you anymore – she has stalked me, attacked my job, threatened me… I need to face her and handle this once and for all." She paused, staring into his dark, unconvinced and uneasy eyes. She sighed heavily. "Tonight, I don't need you to be my knight in shining armor; tonight, I need you to hand me my sword and let me deal with Caroline."

His eyebrows raised briefly at her words, before he nodded. _Tonight, she would be in control – not hiding behind him on the sidelines, fearing the unknown; tonight, he would be there to support and protect her – but only if she needed him to._

"Sweetheart, tonight, I will be whatever you need me to be – I just need to know that you're mine." His words were soft and hoarse, the emotion in them electrifying the room around them.

"I told you… I'm yours," she repeated with a small smile of reassurance. She began to turn, but his hand on hers stopped her.

"No, Beth." He paused with a small nervous laugh. _She'd never seen him nervous before._ "That's not… _Christ…_ I'm fucking this up so bad right now."

"I don't understand..."

"Beth, I love you. I love you so fucking much it hurts to breathe right now knowing I have no control over what could happen tonight. There are so many unknowns about tonight… about us…" Beth stared up into his eyes – love and tenderness, fear and concern, written raw over his face. "The only thing I feel like I know for certain right now is that I would be lying if I said that I could live my life without you."

 _Oh my God._ Her breath caught.

"There's just one other thing I need to know for certain before we leave this room." He exhaled shakily as his free hand reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a very familiar velvet box. "I don't care about all the uncertainty in our future – our jobs, our home, your family… I told you before that I would ask you again to marry me once I felt like you finally knew me and what you were getting into… This is me, Beth. This is all the fucked-up, intolerable pieces of me that I'm working to put back together for you." His voice got thicker with every word and every tear that went unshed. His hand left hers to gently lift open the lid of the box to reveal the diamond and ruby ring that he'd proposed with before. "I want to marry you so fucking badly, gorgeous. But this ring doesn't have to mean that right now – all I'm asking is if you'll let me walk out of this room _certain_ about only one other thing - that you are mine no matter what and that whomever sees you, knows that." When she just stared, open-mouthed at him, he continued with a nervous laugh, "Sweetheart, I'd put a ring on each and every one of your perfect fingers just to show the whole world that you're mine."

"Yes!" she blurted out. Her response shocking both of them. He looked like he'd been prepared to ramble on, to try and assure her that this didn't have to mean marriage – or at least right away. But, she found, for all those uncertainties that she'd had about him and moving in and, well, everything… they'd all disappeared. Somehow, looking into his eyes in this moment, she felt the exact same way he did.

 _All she wanted was to know for certain that they had each other._

"Wait… what do you mean yes?" Her outburst clearly throwing off whatever speech he had planned.

"Yes, Darcy." She laughed lightly as tears began to stream down her cheeks. "I don't know that I'll ever find the right words to be able to convince you that you had my heart a long, long time ago, but 'yes' is just going to have to cut it." Her hand reached up to cup the side of his face. "I am yours. I have been yours for a long time and I want to be yours forever, as your wife. So, I mean 'yes,' I will marry you."

He stared at her blankly for a split second. His brain taking a moment to believe what his ears had heard. When it finally clicked, she was in his arms, crushed against him as his mouth captured hers.

"I love you," she whispered against his mouth, tasting the salt of their tears between them.

He pulled back, reaching for her left hand, he plucked the ring out of its resting spot, sliding it onto her finger as he whispered, "I love you, too."

With the ring seated on its new home, he lifted her hand to kiss the back of it, his eyes locked with hers. Gripping her fingers in his, he placed her hand in the crook of his elbow. Her slight nod told him that she was ready and he escorted her to the door.

 _They needed no more words,_ she thought as they walked out strong and determined into the hallway, _their love for each other was etched so clearly into their hearts_.

So far, the guest who was registered as Mrs. DeBourgh hadn't arrived yet. They'd upped the number of volunteers at the door checking people in to make sure that no one slipped by unnoticed; that was in addition to the extra security that patrolled the hallways and lobby area.

A half hour into the event and still no sign of Caroline. Beth was just able to leave her post by Colin's side to join Darcy, who was standing at their table, taking a long sip of the white wine that was waiting for her. She was about to sit down when Darcy reached for her hand.

"Will you dance with me?" His dark, smoky eyes burned for her.

"Do you really want to dance with me, Mr. Darcy?" she asked teasingly, stepping closer to him. "Or do you just want to keep me safe in your arms for as long as possible?" Her last question was a whisper.

Darcy leaned in next to her ear. "What if I want both?" A smirk came over his face as he led her to the dance floor just as the band picked up a slower tune. Beth could only shake her head – that was Darcy, _always_ _wanting it all._

He pulled her close to him, his hand resting low on her back as they began to sway side to side with the music. Beth closed her eyes for a minute, pretending that all they were there to do tonight was dance.

 _It was a nice thought._

Tilting her head back from his chest, she looked up to see Darcy scanning the room intently.

"Do you see anything?" she asked quietly.

"No," he replied. "John knows to come and find me as soon as someone checks in with her name. But I'm keeping an eye on her table just in case she manages to slip in here some other way that we haven't accounted for.

The song ended and the music died down, meaning it was time to vacate the floor; Colin was about to welcome everyone to the event. Beth saw him approaching the microphone as they neared their table which was close to the door, so that they had a better vantage point on anyone entering or exiting.

As Beth closed in on her seat, she saw John approaching them at a brisk pace; combined with his grim expression, it could only mean one thing.

 _Caroline._

"She's here," John said as soon as he was close enough to speak at a discreet level.

"Where?" Darcy asked angrily.

"I'm sorry, sir; we're not sure. She checked in just as the music stopped and large group of guests entered from the bar downstairs in time for Colin's speech. She slipped in with them." Beth felt Darcy's hand tightening on hers as her eyes began to scan the room. "The woman who registered her, didn't realize until the whole group had gone through. By the time, she came and found me, the 'Mrs. DeBourgh' disappeared."

"Was it Hannah who checked her in?" Beth asked. It must have been – Hannah was the only other female on duty. "Did she say if it was an older or younger woman who entered under that name?"

"Younger. With long, blond hair."

" _Fuck."_ Darcy swore underneath his breath, his eyes looking around the room for Caroline. "Find her. _Now."_ His tone was deadly serious ringing clear with displeasure that they had managed to lose the one person they'd been hired to keep track of.

John nodded, turning to go find Arnie.

"Should we go help?" Beth asked, her body on edge; the thought of just sitting and waiting making her more anxious.

"No. Not yet. Let's just sit for a second," he replied sternly, his gaze not even returning to her; instead it kept scanning around the room, slowly assessing every face for the one he was after.

Beth turned to her seat, grabbing her clutch that had been resting on the chair. She was about to sit down when she noticed the small slip of paper that had been underneath her purse. Anger shot through her as she picked it up knowing exactly what it was and from whom it came.

 _I like your dress. It's my color. I'll wear it for him once you're gone. Xo - Caroline_

She felt the nausea roll through her, boiling up into her throat. Quickly grabbing her glass of water, she took a sip, almost knocking her wine glass over in the process.

"Beth, are you ok?" Darcy asked behind her; he'd sat down already and now looked up at her with concerned eyes.

She passed him the note, letting it speak for itself.

Beth saw his anger intensify with each word that he read, His knuckles becoming whiter as he gripped the paper harder.

When he finished, he shoved it into his pocket even though he really wanted to set it on fire. However, this was the first time Caroline had signed it, which meant it would be critical to any charges they decided to press against her.

He looked like he was about to say something when Colin's voice boomed through the room.

 _"Thank you! Thank you, everyone, for coming…"_ Beth turned towards the stage to see Colin waving out at the room, Pat coming to stand beside him. He must have just gotten in because she hadn't seen him all night.

Her eyes began to move back towards Darcy when a blond head caught her eye seated at Mrs. DeBourgh's table at the opposite corner of the room. Her stomach dropped – no one had seen Caroline yet. Beth couldn't confirm that it was her, the woman's back was facing Beth, but every other seat was filled with guests who were definitely _not_ Mrs. DeBourgh or Caroline.

"Darcy…" she choked out. Her hand rising shakily to point at the table.

His gaze immediately followed her finger, seeing exactly whom she was pointing at.

" _Shit,"_ he cursed, looking around rapidly for John or Arnie…or anyone. He quickly spotted John heading towards that side of the room, but it didn't look like he'd noticed the blonde woman yet. "Stay here," he instructed curtly before standing and stalking off towards John.

"Darcy, wait—" She tried to get out, but he was too quick to move past her and he definitely wasn't stopping now that they had Caroline in their sights.

 _She wasn't going to be on the sidelines for this._

Tossing her purse on the table, she abruptly stood and turned around her chair – a movement that was not recommended in the dress and heels that she was wearing.

No, her haste was her undoing; her heel caught on her dress, and in her attempt to make sure it didn't rip the fabric, she twisted her ankle, hearing a loud crack as the stiletto heel of her left pump snapped off. Thankfully, her hand had been on the back of the chair to balance herself, otherwise she probably would have toppled over too.

 _Her trusted black pump… of all the nights._

Now standing lopsided, she quickly slipped out of both shoes, her bare feet coming to touch the plush carpet as her focus returned to the blonde woman at the table.

Everything seemed to happen in a flash. Beth saw Darcy and John approaching the table, but the woman must have seen them coming; she stood and began to make her way expeditiously towards the back of the room by the stage where Colin had begun to share the story about his mother.

Beth's eyes widened in realization. _The woman wasn't Caroline._ From Darcy's vantage point, she knew he couldn't tell, but from where she was, when the woman stood, Beth was able to get a glimpse of her face, and it wasn't Caro.

 _Which meant that Caro was still here, somewhere._

Beth's nausea worsened as her eyes moved around the room. The other blonde had just been a ploy, to draw out Darcy and whomever he had hired to detain her. Her eyes scanned towards the doorway, knowing that Caroline was there somewhere, watching the whole thing.

Just as her gaze crossed the second door, something – _someone –_ caught her eye. A blonde, turning and walking away down the hall.

 _It couldn't be her,_ Beth thought at first; this woman's hair was cut chin length which was why she almost skimmed over her. But her face, there was no mistaking it.

 _She had found Caroline._

 _And she was going to get away._

Beth groaned, a quick glance telling her that Darcy and John were still pursuing the decoy out the back exit of the room. She didn't know how to tell it was a trick – and she didn't know who else to go to help catch the real Caroline.

Before she knew it, shoes in hand, her feet padded softly against the carpet between the tables of guests that were still focused on the show in front of them. She didn't know what else to do. Beth had to stop Caroline; she couldn't continue to live like this anymore.

 _She just prayed Darcy would realize and be able to come find her in time._


	31. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

She carefully slipped out the door of the ballroom into the eerily empty seating around just outside. Her head turned from side to side, searching for the blonde bob that had disappeared out the same door just moments before. Looking up the hallway on the right, she saw the familiar figure rounding the corner at the end of it, not looking behind her.

 _She must be going back to her room to regroup, realizing that we had more security waiting for her._

Beth tiptoed hurriedly in the same direction, stopping just short of the corner as she heard a door close. Peering around the corner, she saw an empty hallway. Her brows furrowed, wondering where Caro had gone to. There were really only two options – either she'd went out through the 'Exit' door into the stairwell at the other end of the passage or her room was one of the ones in the hall and she'd gone inside.

Hoping for the latter, Beth continued quietly down the hall, trying to listen against each doorway for Caroline's voice.

"Listening for me?" That very voice slithered through the space and up Beth's spine. She froze in her tracks, adrenaline pumping through her veins.

"As a matter of fact, yes," Beth replied as she turned to face her tormenter who stood not even five feet away from her; at least her voice managed to come out cool and confident even though she felt like she couldn't breathe.

Caroline smirked. "Well, I'm glad I could pull you away from your date." The word 'date' dripped with disdain, but the whole phrase made Beth realize that this had been Caro's plan all along – to get her out of the room and alone.

"What do you want, Caroline? What is your problem?"

"You know what I want." Her eyes narrowed. "Darcy is mine. He has always been mine and he will always be mine."

"Except he doesn't want you," Beth scoffed. "And you don't need him – you have Mrs. DeBourgh funding your entire life. You let him go – _for years –_ before, why can't you do that now?"

"That old hag was barely useful to me. No, Darcy is mine, you little, annoying bitch. He wants me," she spat. "I know how to make him want me."

Beth felt her fists clenching at Caro's faulty and insulting assumptions, barely paying attention to the fact that it seemed like her relationship with Mrs. DeBourgh had been severed. " _Darcy. Will. Never. Want. You."_ Her words punctuated with her vehemence for this woman. Her hands gripped her shoes, pulling them to her chest as though she was trying to protect her heart from the hate that Caroline was exuding.

Too late she realized her mistake.

Caro's eyes narrowed on Beth's hand – her _left_ hand – and the ring that was sitting on her finger.

"What have you done?" Rage seethed from her voice before a crazed laugh escaped from her lips. "It doesn't matter – Darcy will want me; I'm not going to leave him any choice," she snarled. Beth felt her heart coming to a stop as Caroline reached into her purse and pulled out a gun, aiming it directly at Beth. "And then, when you're gone, I'll just take that lovely bit of ice from your finger for myself. Just like I'll take him."

In slow motion, Beth saw Caroline cock the gun with an assured smile that said she knew she had won. It was the same moment she saw Darcy and John round the corner, stopping dead in their tracks at the sight in front of them.

The color drained from Darcy's face, replaced by potent mixture of fury and fear, seeing Caroline with a gun pointed at the woman he loved. Beth watched his fists clench and she put her hand out – not to protect herself from Caroline, but to stop Darcy.

By contrast, Caroline's eyes were filled with a crazed level of anger, all rational thought having left her long ago.

Hearing the commotion behind her, Caroline began to turn – the gun staying trained on Beth – as Darcy said, " _I'll never fucking be yours."_ His voice ice cold and menacing; his words containing the solemn implication the he would rather be dead than belong to Caroline again.

Beth saw the spark of rage in Caro's eyes and knew, in that split second, that there was only going to be one way to stop her. _And she was the only one close enough to do it._

"That's what you think." Beth heard Caro's poisonous voice reply as her focus returned to her prey.

Beth didn't know what came over her, but seeing Caroline begin to tighten her finger on the trigger pulled Beth out of her paralysis.

Beth slung her broken shoe at Caro's hand – missing the gun, but hitting her arm hard enough to deflect the shot she'd fired off. Using that millisecond of surprise before the 'boom' from the gunshot had even quieted, Beth launched herself at Caroline; Beth locked her arms around Caro's lower legs as she rammed her shoulder into Caro's torso, sending them both flying to the ground, the impact sending off another stray bullet in the direction of Darcy and the handful of security before the weapon completely dislodged from Caroline's hand.

Beth heard Caro's scream of rage as they landed. Beth's entire body tensed, preparing for Caroline to attack her in some other way when suddenly, she was lifted off of the crazed woman and crushed against Darcy's chest. Heart racing, her eyes blinked open, only able to partially see the commotion going on behind her as John, some of the other security guards, as well as two Boston police officers restrained Caroline, putting her under arrest.

She looked up at Darcy; his face was a stone mask, frozen from everything that had just happened. He didn't move – he didn't say a word – but, Beth could feel his chest pounding just as hard as hers.

"Darcy, are you ok?" she whispered still in a daze.

He didn't answer. A few seconds later, Caroline was gone from the hallway and Darcy immediately reached underneath her, groaning slightly as he lifted her up and carried her to the elevator, punching the button to get to their room. John halted the police from following them; Beth heard him say to give them a few minutes before asking for a statement.

When Darcy stepped off the elevator, Beth realized that her hand holding his arm felt like it was getting wetter. She'd assumed at first that her palms were sweaty from the situation she'd just been put through, except it shouldn't be getting worse. Lifting her hand, she saw it pull away red from his shirt.

"Oh my God! Darcy! Were you shot?!" She exclaimed. The sight of his blood jarring her from her state of shock. Her voice quivered with concern, the adrenaline that had been keeping her emotions at bay dissipating as tears began to flow down her cheeks. "Oh my God…"

Beth turned and cried into his chest. Her tears streaming not from sadness or fear, but from complete and utter relief that Caroline was finally gone. Darcy gently shushed her, still too on edge to fully respond. He unlocked the door to their room, carrying her into the room and kicking the door closed behind him. He brought her directly over to the couch, sitting down, and held her tight against his chest. There they sat for several minutes, Darcy clasping her close; he held her as though the second he let go, she would disappear.

"I thought I was going to lose you," he rasped into her hair, his voice thick over the tears she knew he was holding back. She could only imagine what he had thought, seeing her and Caroline – and the gun.

"I'm here," she whispered, trying to comfort him, but he wouldn't let her move; he kept her locked against him.

"John and I turned the corner and I saw her… with the gun pointed at you…" He trailed off, the memory overwhelming him. "I heard it in her voice; I saw it in her eyes – her insane hatred. She was going to shoot you; she was ready to kill you just to give herself a chance with me."

"Shh," Beth hushed. "But, she didn't. She didn't shoot me; I'm still here."

"And then when you lunged at her. _Christ, Beth,"_ he swore. _"What the fuck were you thinking diving towards a loaded gun?"_ The anger in his voice wasn't really directed at her, but at the thought of what could have happened if things hadn't gone the way that they did.

"I saw it too… her hatred for me when she noticed the ring. I didn't even remember that I had it on, but when I moved my hand that was holding my shoe, she saw it and it set her over the edge," Beth explained thickly. "I don't know if she would have pulled out the gun anyway, but I saw the moment that whatever rational thought remained with her, disappeared."

"She would have, Beth." Darcy reassured her. "Just look at everything that she did; she hasn't been thinking clearly for a long time…"

"I saw that she was going to go through with it, but when you got there, she was distracted and I thought it was my only shot – I mean, my only chance to get the upper hand," Beth rambled. "I didn't… I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't have time to think. I remember I was holding my shoe, I remember seeing the look in her eyes change when she heard what you said… I did the only thing I could think of."

Beth paused to take a breath, trying to calm herself down when she realized that she wasn't the one shaking – Darcy was.

"I wanted to just knock the gun out of her hand, but I didn't have that good of an aim with my shoe... As soon as I realized she was still holding it, I knew she'd fire it again and for some reason, I was just so afraid that she'd turn and point it at you. So, I tackled her." Beth finished the last statement in astonishment. Replaying the events back over in her mind and saying them out loud had her asking the same question – _What had she been thinking?_

 _That it was time to end this. That it was time to take control of the situation. That she was strong enough to stand up to Caroline._

His hand came up to cup the side of her face, turning her gaze to meet his. "I thought… I lost you," he repeated. His voice was hoarse as he struggled to get out the words over his tears. "I heard the shot and then I saw you fall forward. I couldn't see that you lunged for her. My heart stopped - _no, my entire fucking life completely stopped._ " Her tears began to fall again at the pain and fear in his words. She hadn't thought about it from his perspective and what he could see. Now, she knew why he had completely shut down; not because she'd attacked Caroline, but because, from where he stood, it had looked like Caro had actually shot her. "It was only when I lifted you off of her that I could see that you were ok. Those seconds that it took to get to you were the longest moments of my life."

"I'm so sorry," she choked out. Beth watched his jaw flex and his eyes darken as those moments replayed over and over again in his mind.

"Don't…" he began, his thumb brushing tenderly over the soft skin of her lips. "Don't be sorry. You were incredible, Beth. _God, you were so incredible and brave._ I'm an asshole; I'm the one who should be fucking sorry; I just can't forget that feeling – that moment – when I thought I had lost you; I had lost everything." He paused to clear his throat. "All I could think was that I hadn't done enough. All I could think was that I'd just gotten you back only to lose you for good."

"I'm here. I will always be here." She tipped her head up to touch her lips to his.

Darcy groaned at the contact before his mouth claimed hers. He poured everything into that kiss – everything that he felt, everything that he thought he had lost, and everything that he would spend the rest of his life being thankful for; it was all right there – _it was her._

The kiss deepened rapidly and she encouraged it. Beth knew that this was how she would make him forget that fear; this was how she would convince him that she was still there with him and that she wasn't going anywhere.

 _Their kiss became their home._

His arms slipped around her back, his hands finding their way underneath the edges of the fabric of her dress to slide up her ribs, brushing over the sides of her breasts. Darcy groaned against her mouth and she felt the tenseness of his body transitioning into hard, pure desire.

 _Knock. Knock. Knock._

The loud bangs on the door startled both of them and Darcy cursed underneath his breath.

They both knew who it was – John and the police. He'd bought them a few minutes to themselves, minutes that they'd needed to soothe their hearts and their hurt – to assure themselves that the other was ok. But, now they needed to finish this – make their statement, hear what was going to have to happen next, and finally get some closure on Caroline.

Darcy helped her stand, wincing as he put weight on his left arm.

"Darcy, what happened to your arm?" Beth asked, concerned. She'd completely forgotten about the blood that she'd seen. "Were you shot? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine – just a flesh wound; it'll heal," he replied. Even though it was obviously hurting him, his hands never left her – sliding across her back, down her arms to grab her hand. He led her over to the door, opening it slowly to reveal John and two different Boston cops than the ones that had been downstairs.

"Mr. Darcy, Miss Bennet, this is Officers Andre and Holmes." John introduced them to the other man.

"Sir, ma'am." The first officer, Officer Andre, nodded to them both. "I'm sorry for what you both just went through, but I would like to get both of your statements on the events that happened here tonight."

"Of course," Darcy replied sternly, stepping back to allow the men to enter. Beth just nodded mutely, following them back into the room.

John astutely noticed the dark liquid on the sleeve of Darcy's jacket. He reached into the bathroom to grab a towel, handing it discreetly to Darcy for him to be able to apply pressure to the wound.

"Do you need medical attention, Mr. Darcy?" The officer asked, seeing the interaction.

"No. Thank you. It was just a graze."

The officer nodded and then continued, "First, I would just like to inform you both that Miss Bingley has been placed under arrest and will most assuredly be held without bail pending her trial. So, there is nothing further that you have to fear from her," Officer Andre began. "And judging from her state as we escorted her off the premises, I doubt she will see the outside of a jail cell or mental hospital ever again."

Even though she knew for sure that that news was coming, Beth was shocked by the physical relief that washed over her, hearing that Caroline was going to be locked up for good. Her body swayed against Darcy's with the strength of her reprieve.

"Now, if you both want to take a seat, this will just take a few minutes of your time." The officer motioned to the chairs in the room. "If you could just tell me what happened in the hallway. Miss Bennet, if you would like to start."

Beth nodded. She took a deep breath and relayed to the officer everything that had happened downstairs – how she had spotted Caroline leaving the event room and followed her, how Caroline confronted her, growing angry after seeing the ring on Beth's finger and pulling out her gun.

"When Darcy and John came around the corner, Caroline became startled so I used my broken shoe that I was holding and threw it at her hand to dislodge her gun. When it hit her arm, that's when the gun went off. But she was still holding it, so I tried to knock her to the ground before she could take aim again." Beth clasped her hands in her lap. "When we fell to the ground, that's when the gun went off the second time. Mr. Darcy immediately lifted me off of her and the police and John restrained her while he brought me up here."

"Ok, thank you Miss Bennet." He scribbled down in his notebook what she had said before turning to Darcy. "Ok, sir, and if you could give me your account. Also, we're holding the woman that your other security man brought to us, but I'm not sure if you'll want to press charges against her, too."

 _What other… oh, the imposter._

"I don't think she had anything to do with this, aside from agreeing to go to a party. She was pretty afraid when we caught up to her. I think Caroline had threatened her. Either way, she was in the seat that we knew was assigned to Caroline, so John and I went to approach her – thinking that she was Caroline – when she started to run. We pursued her, which was Caroline's goal, and when we finally caught up to her at the back exit to the room, I realized that it wasn't Caroline." Darcy's hand tightened around hers as he began to relate the most traumatic part of the ordeal. "I asked her where Caroline was. She said that the woman had met her right outside this room and told her to just come in and sit down. I bolted for the entrance, immediately outside of which I heard a muffled conversation coming from the hallway. I followed the noise - John catching up to me – and came around the corner to see my fiancée with a gun aimed directly at her. The next thing I knew, I heard a gunshot and then the two of them fell to the ground. The second shot hit the wall behind me, grazing my arm."

"Ok. Thank you both for your time. Are you sure you don't need medical attention, Mr. Darcy?" Officer Andre asked again.

"Yes," came Darcy's clipped tone. _He just needed everyone to leave so that he could be alone with Beth again._

"Alright. Well, I'll be in touch if I have any further questions. The hotel is providing video footage from that area of the floor which I'm sure will corroborate your story. Like I said, I have a feeling that Miss Bingley is going to be going away for a very long time, so I hope you both can find some comfort in that."

The policemen stood, shaking both of their hands before exiting the hotel room.

"Is there anything else that I can do for either of you?" John asked.

"I think we are ok—" Darcy began before Beth cut him off.

"Wait, what happened with the ball? Is everyone ok? Did this ruin the event?" Beth's questions came out in a flurry, the periphery of her reality beginning to fall back into place and all the potential repercussions of what had happened tonight.

"Oh, no, ma'am," John replied, shaking his head. "I mean I can't say for certain that no one heard the gunshots, but thankfully they were fired off just as the Dempseys finished their speech so the applause and subsequent music from the band drowned out most of the noise."

"Oh, thank God." Beth sighed in relief. "I should let Colin know… he's probably wondering what happened–"

"Mr. Dempsey has been informed of the situation," John interjected, reassuringly. "He's just glad that you are ok and he doesn't expect you back down there tonight."

"Ok," Beth replied; her anxieties finally beginning to wither. "Thank you, John."

"Of course," he said with a smile.

Darcy followed him over to the door, shaking his hand with a 'thank you' of his own before he and Beth were finally left alone again. He turned back to face her, his eyes darkening with the need to hold her again, to keep her close and physically remind himself that she was still there.

He exhaled harshly. "Shit, I need to call Charles." He too realized all of the implications of tonight. "He needs to hear this from me."

Beth ached for him, but agreed that certain things needed to be handled first. "Make sure he knows that I'm ok – and to tell Jane that I'll call her in the morning." Darcy nodded, reaching into his pocket for his phone and dialing Charles' number.

As she heard him begin to talk, Beth looked around the room for her purse. John had brought it up with him from the ballroom. Opening it up, she pulled out her cell, thinking that maybe she should text Jane. When she tapped the home button she saw she had two missed calls from Anne. Hearing Darcy still on the phone, Beth decided to call her back and let her know what had happened.

 _She didn't want to be alone with her thoughts right now. She wanted to tell the world – scream it from the rooftops – that 'Caroline was finally gone.'_

"Beth! Thank God," Anne answered hysterically.

"Anne, what's wrong?" Beth asked, concern immediately flooding her.

"It's Caroline. I know I told you she was coming up there, but I just finally talked to my mom earlier today. She cut Caroline off a few days ago – right after I heard their conversation," Anne blurted out. "She finally saw how crazy Caroline was and refused to support her, especially once she realized that Caroline was only using her to try to get Darcy for herself. She cut her off and kicked her out. And she said that Caroline was insanely calm about it – the kind of calm that means that someone is about to do something terrible."

"Anne—" Beth tried to interject, but her friend kept going.

"I was ignoring her calls for days, but she finally showed up at my apartment and told me all of this a few hours ago and I've been trying to call you ever since. Caroline has lost it, Beth, and you know that she will blame all of this on you. You have to go to the police, you have to get security—"

"Anne!" Beth exclaimed, stopping the other's frantic rambling. "Caroline is gone. But, she was here tonight. She came to my event and when I followed her, she pulled a gun on me – I'm fine; everyone is fine. I managed to knock her down just as Darcy and the police got there and they took her away. The officers just left and they assured us that Caroline would not be getting out of jail for a very long time." Beth took in a deep inhale after spitting out her story for the second time; she hadn't stopped to breathe lest Anne have a chance to interject before she heard the entire story.

"Oh my God, Beth… Oh my God…" Anne replied, stunned into silence. "I can't believe she tried to kill you. I can't… And she's been arrested?"

"Yes – being held without bail."

"Oh my God, Beth, I'm so sorry."

Beth had to laugh. "Why are you sorry? This isn't your fault."

"I know, but maybe if I had talked to my mom sooner… I would have been able to warn you or something… I don't know."

"Anne, don't be ridiculous," Beth scoffed. "This is in no way your fault and even if you had warned me, who knows if we would have been able to do anything to prevent this and yet still get the same result." She broke off, seeing Darcy walk back into the room, no longer on the phone with Charles. "Hey, I have to go. Thanks for calling. Everything is fine. We are both fine. I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Ok, glad you're ok. Call me."

Beth hung up the phone and looked back up at Darcy. "It was Anne. She'd called earlier when…" Her eyes fell. "She said that Mrs. DeBourgh cut Caroline off, I guess right after Caroline told her she was coming to Boston. She realized how crazy Caroline was and completely pulled her funding. That is why she must have done this…"

"Don't try to rationalize what she did, Beth," Darcy said harshly.

"I'm not." She sighed, standing and walking towards him. "How did Charles take it?"

Darcy ran his hand through his hair, wincing because he used his injured arm.

"Let me see your arm," she insisted, walking over to his side.

"He's alright. I mean, his sister is a fucking psycho, so I guess he's doing as well as possible given that scenario." He paused as her hands gripped the lapels of his jacket, gently tugging it off of his good arm before carefully peeling it down over his injury.

"At least this wasn't a complete surprise to him… At least he knew about her and what she did – who she really was; if that's any sort of consolation."

Darcy nodded. "I think he realized that his sister wasn't who he thought she was a long time ago. It's Charles though, so I'm sure he held onto some hope for a while once everything calmed down. But, after the wedding, I think he realized that there was an evilness to her, one that was buried so deeply inside no one would be able to get it out."

"I just keep seeing her face and the determined hatred all over it; she truly believed that I ruined her life by taking you 'from' her. How does someone even become like that?" she mused softly, biting her lip as she saw the bright red bloodstain against the crisp white of his tux shirt; her stomach rolled at the sight.

"She buried her anger and resentment instead of addressing it – just like I did; the only difference being that I still had people that cared for me, whom I let in – or who forced their way in to help bring me back from that edge. Caroline has no one because she wanted no one and now she can spend the rest of her miserable life in a cell. Alone."

She registered the truth in his words and for a moment, Beth couldn't help but feel sorry for Caroline. "Are you sure this is just a flesh wound?" Her voice pitched higher with concern.

"Positive," he replied as she began to unbutton the front of his shirt, cautiously removing that from his body as well. "Charles is going to call his parents and let them know."

Beth nodded, her focus completely drawn to his arm. Seeing the now-bare wound gave her a little more comfort; the blood-soaked shirt had made it look a lot worse than it was. He was right – the bullet had just grazed him, leaving only a decently sized gash on his arm.

"Are you sure you don't want someone to look at this? Or clean it? What if you need stitches or pain medication or something?"

"Beth." He cut off her questions, his fingers tipping her face up to his. His eyes burned straight through hers and she knew right away that he had more pressing physical needs than his injury. "Right now, you are everything I need."


	32. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

She swallowed over the lump in her throat. His other hand plucked hers off of his arm, lifting it up to his mouth in order to kiss the tender skin of her palm. His fingers brushed back and forth over the ring he'd given her earlier.

Beth felt his exhale harshly against her hand. "I can't help thinking that if I hadn't given you this ring earlier, she wouldn't have tried to kill you; you almost died tonight because of me."

Beth sucked in a breath at the desolation in his tone, quickly shaking her head in denial. "No, Darcy – tonight, I lived because of you." Her other hand reached up to cup his face. "Caroline had that gun with her and she was going to use it regardless of what I said or she saw. This ring did not change that; _you did not change that._ Because of you, I chose to fight. Earlier, I asked you to be my sword. This ring… your love for me… was my weapon and my strength. All I could think was that I wasn't willing to let her take any more from me… any more from us."

"I don't deserve you," he whispered, watching a tear roll down her face.

"I don't care," she replied. "You are everything that I want."

Slowly, his head bent down to hers to gently kiss her, tasting the salty-sweetness that was a mixture of her and her tears.

"Marry me?" he asked against her lips.

"Yes." She smiled into their kiss just before he deepened it.

His arms came around her, pulling her flush against his body. The heat from his naked chest scorching through her. Beth moaned, wrapping her arms around his neck and angling her head to give him deeper access to her mouth.

His tongue stroked over hers, stoking the flames that spread through every cell. His hand grabbed onto her ass, pulling her tight against the hardness of his erection. His other hand moved to the back of her neck, undoing the closure at the top of her dress. Beth felt the material give way, the straps sliding swiftly down from her shoulders. The top of her dress only stayed up covering her chest because she was pressed so firmly against him.

"Say it again," he whispered as his lips slid from hers to kiss the sensitive skin along her jaw. Beth tipped her head back, exposing more of the pristine, pale skin of her neck to him.

"Say what?" she asked breathlessly. Darcy growled against her neck, lightly biting the tender skin. Beth gasped, realizing what he wanted. " _Yes, I will marry you."_

His mouth closed over the bite sucking firmly on the spot as he pushed his chest away from hers for a split second, allowing the top of her dress to fall, exposing her bare breasts.

She moaned as her nipples came into contact with his hard chest. Her hands tangled in his hair as his mouth moved down onto the slope of her shoulder. His fingers hooked into the bunched black silk around her waist, tugging downward. Her dress fell to the floor with a soft swoosh, leaving her standing naked except for her matching black silk panties. Darcy groaned against her collarbone as his hands sunk into the soft flesh of her ass, kneading it as his mouth continued to trail further south over the swell of one breast.

"Say it again," he rasped hoarsely against her nipple, his tongue coming out to toy with the aching peak.

"Yes," she gasped. "I… will marry… you."

At the end of her breathless statement, his mouth closed over the tormented bud, pulling it deeply into his mouth. He sucked rhythmically on her nipple, his tongue swirling around the tender, erect tip, sending sparks of electricity straight to her core. She pulled his head tighter against her, willing him to take more of her farther into his mouth; her moans accompanying each draw of his mouth.

His lips released her, kissing a trail over to her other breast.

"You are mine," he said hoarsely just before he captured the unattended nipple, repeating his torture.

Beth wasn't sure that she could even feel her legs anymore. She only knew that she was standing because she could see Darcy bent over her chest. The agitation and heightened emotions from earlier now only made her pleasure more intense, her cells craving a physical release from the stress that had built up and that Darcy was now turning into molten pleasure as it flowed through her veins.

His mouth released her nipple, blowing a steady stream of air over the sensitive peak as he knelt to continue to kiss his way down her stomach. Beth felt his fingers hook up underneath the edge of her panties and pull them down over her legs. His hand gripped her right calf, lifting her foot out from them. Instead of setting it back down on the floor, his hand slid up under her knee, hiking her leg up higher to rest over his shoulder.

She swayed for a moment, her hands quickly moving to his shoulders to steady herself; his hands clasped her hips, holding them stable as his mouth stopped its path just short of her aching center.

" _Darcy,"_ she moaned.

" _Say it again, gorgeous."_ He blew gently over her moist folds, enjoying the shiver that sparked through her body.

" _Yes, I will marry you!"_ Her answer was frenzied, needing his touch.

" _I will never get tired of hearing that,"_ he groaned. " _Or tasting the honey between your thighs."_

Beth almost came as his tongue licked directly down the center of her. Her standing leg shook, almost giving out on her. She gasped loudly as his mouth closed over the most tender part of her. Darcy kissed her over and over again, the pleasure so intense that she couldn't even hear her own moans any longer, her brain had tuned everything else out.

At some point, she must have cried his name, no longer able to stand, for he quickly stood up, taking her with him as he carried her the few paces into the bedroom.

Darcy lay her on the cool comforter, his head immediately returning to the heaven between her thighs. Her legs now crossed around his neck as he pleasured her. Now that his hands weren't busy keeping her upright, she felt him push two fingers inside of her. She gasped at the invasion, arching against him. Those fingers barely moved though, only rubbing gently on the inside of her, feeling her inner muscles flexing in frustration, yearning for release.

" _That's it, gorgeous."_ His hoarse words crept through the haze of desire. The movement of his lips over her clit as he spoke the words bringing her perilously close to the edge. " _Give me all of your sweetness."_

His delicious encouragement, followed by the firm flick of his tongue sent Beth flying over the edge of release. All of the anxiety, tension, stress, pleasure, and love that had been building exploded from every cell. Her legs flexed around his neck, keeping his mouth tight against her as her orgasm rolled through her, her body clenching around his fingers still inside of her.

Darcy groaned against her, drinking deeply of her sugared release. As her body began to come back down from its high, her legs slowly relaxed around him, his head slowly lifting off from her to trail up her flushed body and into her sated gaze.

He lifted his torso up, kneeling on the bed between her bent legs. His fingers still inside of her, gently stroking the muscles that continued to convulse. Beth watched as he licked his lips, savoring the last taste of her as his free hand moved to undo the front of his pants. He pulled them down roughly over his hips; his thick, swollen cock hanging heavily in front of him.

Bending over her, he quickly pulled one of her nipples into his mouth for a quick taste before his face aligned with hers. His mouth claimed hers and her gasp that escaped as he flipped them over, seating her on top of him. Both hands now on her hips, he held her hot center against the hard length of his erection, groaning as her heat and wetness covered him.

Beth pushed up on his chest, pressing herself even more firmly against him for a moment before his hands lifted her hips, placing the tip of his erection at her entrance. She started to slide down onto his hard length, but his firm grip stopped her when the head of his cock was just barely inside of her passage.

Beth gasped, her hips pushing against his hands, begging to be filled once more.

"Say it again," he whispered harshly. His body needed to be joined with hers, but not as much as he needed to hear those words again – the ones that comforted his tortured soul. " _Say that you'll take me…"_

" _I am yours_ ," she began, her gaze burning her love into him. " _I love you."_ His jaw muscles flexed, his hands tightening on her hips, every fiber of his being waiting to be released. " _So, a thousand-times yes, I will marry you."_

Darcy groaned again with relief from her words as his hands slowly relaxed on her hips, letting her slowly slide his hardness into her honeyed warmth. Beth moaned, her head tipping back, at the intense feeling of completeness that came over her.

 _For the first time, she felt like there were finally no more barriers between them._

He groaned as he seated himself fully inside of her. " _I love you so fucking much_ ," he groaned. " _Take me – I'm yours."_ In his eyes, she saw truth – that he was completely undone by her, just as she was by him.

His words claimed her heart as he claimed her body. Her hips rose and fell against his, her need rising again. Darcy poured everything he felt into his touch as his hands skated over every inch of her body, watching her pleasure them both.

He teased her breasts before his hands found their way back onto her hips; his need for her too great. Gripping into her soft flesh, he held her steady as he thrust up into her hard and fast, sending her right back into that mind-numbing state of pleasure that overstimulated every sense of hers into complete bliss.

She cried out his name as her body flew apart around her, taking him with her. He continued to push into her, riding out the waves of their climax and claiming every last part of her as his own.

Beth collapsed onto him, their chests heaving from exertion. She was pretty sure her heartbeat hadn't slowed since she'd left the hotel room earlier that night. But she had a feeling that it finally would now.

His arms encased her, holding her against him as she held him inside of her. His hand began to lightly play with her hair as he dropped soft kisses onto her forehead.

"You are everything, Beth," he whispered as her eyes began to drift shut; her body finally coming down from its prolonged adrenaline high into the safety of his arms. "You are everything I want… everything I need… _Everything_."

"Mmm," she mumbled softly. "I just want you."

"Well, you're lying on top of me with my dick buried completely inside of you while I'm confessing how much I love you… I'd say you fucking have me, gorgeous." He chuckled. "I think it's safe to assume that everything I have is yours."

"Mmm… good." She sighed against his chest, quickly losing the battle against sleep.

"Alright, let's get you in bed," he whispered. He slipped himself out of her, gently turning her onto her side when she gripped him, her eyes flying open.

"Don't leave… just hold me." She'd been so strong and so brave earlier, but even the strongest people can't hold the world up forever.

The trauma of the night was finally starting to sink in – how close she'd come to losing everything. Now she needed his strength to soothe those thoughts.

"Don't worry, gorgeous, I'll be holding you all night long… I'll be holding you all life long." He kissed her forehead.

His words of reassurance calmed her enough to let him throw back the covers and slide them both underneath, tucking her against his chest.

Sated, safe, and, most importantly, together – they both quickly slipped into sleep.


	33. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Beth slowly drifted into consciousness the following morning, her back tucked snugly against Darcy's chest, his arms encircling her. She peered over at the clock – _it was almost nine._

It had been a rough night – and that was after the still hardly believable incident with Caroline. She'd fallen asleep quickly, but in spite of the pleasurable precursor to her respite, her dreams took her to a darker place where she stood in front of Caroline and Darcy hadn't gotten there in time. She'd seen him coming around the corner just as the bullet bit into her chest. Pain bloomed inside of her – not from the mortal wound, but because she hadn't been able to save Darcy – to save them – from Caro.

She'd bolted up in the bed, completely awake and gasping for breath, the pain in her chest feeling incredibly real. Her body was slick with sweat from the fear in her nightmare. Her head spun to the side, a tremulous exhale leaving her body when she saw Darcy still in the bed next to her, his eyes open and aching with concern.

They'd stared at each other for a few seconds; he didn't have to ask to know what she had been dreaming about. He'd waited for her to say something, but she hadn't needed any more words; she'd just needed him.

She bent over to cover his mouth with hers, her tongue demanding entrance. Her hand dove underneath the covers, finding him semi-hard for a moment before her touch had him throbbing in her grasp.

" _What do you need, baby?"_ he'd asked. She vividly remembered how hoarse his voice had been with sleep and desire.

" _Take me, Darcy. Just take me."_

He didn't need any more encouragement, rolling on top of her to land between her thighs. He slid himself home inside of her, their lips consuming each other as he plunged into her bringing them both swiftly to another orgasm.

Sliding off to the side of her, he'd pulled her back against him, kissing her forehead as his arms wrapped back around her. "I'm here, gorgeous. I'm always here." The physical release obliterating whatever fear the nightmare had instilled in her.

She'd woken up twice more over night, but not nearly in the state she'd been in that first time. The second time, he'd held her as she cried, talking to her, soothing her as her tears soaked his chest – a cathartic release of the stress that had built up and had been restrained so that she could be strong.

The last time, she'd woken up in an eerie calm. The realization finally sinking in that there was no one after her, or him, or their relationship any more. They were finally done fighting for their chance; they were finally free. Darcy hadn't woken up right away that time… but she'd managed to get his attention. That time, their lovemaking had been languid. Whether they were half-awake or half-asleep, they'd been completely consumed; their release finally coaxing her into the dream from which she'd just awoken.

 _Or was it into a dream that she'd just awoken?_

No Caroline. No Mrs. DeBourgh. No walls. No lies. No masks. No Mr. Intolerable.

 _Only her and Darcy._

She turned in his arms to kiss him gently on the lips.

"Good morning, gorgeous," came his deep response.

She frowned. "How long have you been awake?"

He groaned. "Since that delicious ass of yours rubbed up against me a few minutes ago."

"I bet," she scoffed jokingly.

His hand slid up her side to cup her face. "How are you? I know it was a rough night…"

Her eyes fell from his briefly, taking a moment to collect her thoughts. "I'm ok," she replied, hesitant to believe her own words.

"Are you?" he asked, his thumb brushing lightly over her cheekbone.

"I think I'm still a little in shock…"

"Well, you had a gun pointed at you less than twelve hours ago, gorgeous. I think that's understandable."

"No… not about that. I think I'm just in shock that it's all finally over."

"Oh, Beth," he began, reaching down to grab her hand and pull it up between them. "But us…" He looked pointedly at the ring that sat unwavering on her finger as his intertwined with hers. "Baby, we've only just begun."

At that promise, his lips dropped lightly onto hers with all their love and hope beautifully distilled into that achingly tender kiss.

"We should get up." His voice rumbled against her lips. "And you should call Jane and your parents." Beth closed her eyes and nodded.

They rose, keeping their hands intertwined – some part of them constantly touching – until she stepped into the shower and Darcy went to order some room service for breakfast.

Beth still felt like her reality was somehow clouded with the surreal. So much in her life had changed over the last year or so. To think that a year ago she was working at Gardiner, content to focus every ounce of energy on her career with no interest in a personal life or romantic relationship… and now – working for a non-profit clinic with people whose lives are at stake and not just their reputations, not only interested in a romantic relationship but risking her life for one.

She stared down at her hands that were still tinted red from when she'd removed Darcy's bloodied clothing last night and still darker stains underneath her nails. She began to methodically scrub them, continuing to wipe the skin even after all traces of his blood were gone.

 _Had she really done that? Had she really lunged at a loaded gun?_

She knew she'd been prepared to confront Caroline, but jumping towards a weapon… that was far beyond anything that she had mentally equipped herself to handle.

But what other option had she had?

 _Run? Duck? Hope that Caro missed? Hope that Darcy or John got to her in time?_

No. Even now, there was only one clear choice in her mind.

 _Fight._

And that's what she had done.

 _Had she been brave?_ It didn't feel that way; she didn't feel like she had done anything special. She'd reacted the only way that she could.

Maybe that's all that bravery really is – action in the face of adversity.

Leaving New York had been massive action. It had gotten her away from Darcy and Caroline and Mrs. DeBourgh… everything that had come against her. Her departure had been her first attack in the fight for herself. She'd fought for her heart, for her career, and for her future.

Her fingers scrubbed over the ring that stood prominently on her finger; she'd forgotten that she even had it on. To think a week or so ago she'd been concerned about getting back into a relationship with Darcy and how they could possibly make it work. Now, their relationship, just like the ring on her finger, felt like an inextricable part of her.

 _Fighting against their connection was like fighting against breathing – a pointless attempt to protect herself from the only thing that kept her heart beating._

She stared at the giant stones on her finger, sparking under the water. She probably should have taken it off to shower, but she didn't care. She stared at the change it signified and the promise it held. He'd given it to her on her terms; he'd asked her to define its meaning; _he'd given her the control of their future._

The funny thing is, she really didn't want control anymore. This whole time she'd just wanted to know that he was capable of relinquishing it; now, she knew.

Turning off the water, she quickly dried herself off and threw on some comfy clothes, hearing voices out in the living room. Putting her damp hair up in a messy bun, she walked out of the bedroom to see Darcy and Colin in deep conversation – a dialogue that halted as soon as she entered the room

"Beth!" Col exclaimed, walking over to her and wrapping her in a hug. "Jesus Christ. Thank God you are ok."

Beth hugged him back, grateful for his concern. Her eyes met Darcy's and even though they radiated possessiveness, he didn't look like he wanted to rip her from Col's hug – _and that was progress_.

"Yeah, I'm alright," she said softly, pulling back from his embrace with a small smile. "How did everything go last night? I'm sorry I didn't come back."

Col scoffed at her apology. He turned to Darcy giving him a look of disbelief. "Is she serious right now?" His gaze returned to her. "Are you serious right now? Beth, you were almost shot last night by some psycho. Don't you dare apologize for not coming back to a work function immediately after. I would have fired you if you had."

That drew a small laugh from her lips. "Sorry…"

"Seriously, are you ok? I got most of the story from the police after my speech last night. I know they arrested the woman, but are you sure you are ok? Is there anything I can do?"

"Thank you, Col, but I'm fine; _we're fine._ " She looked meaningfully at Darcy. "It was a little rough last night, but I'm just glad that it's over and that she's out of our lives for good."

"I wanted to come up and see you last night, but by the time I could get away from the crowd it was pretty late and I figured that you… ahh… you two would just want to be alone." He paused, his eyes dropping to the ground for a moment.

"It's fine, Col. It was a crazy night. It's still hard to believe what happened, " Beth trailed off as she walked over to Darcy who immediately enveloped her in his embrace, kissing the top of her head. "So, everything else with the ball went smoothly? John said he was pretty sure that none of the guests realized what was going on outside the room; I hope he was right…"

She saw the brief flash of sadness in his eyes, seeing the two of them together, but it quickly disappeared as he answered her.

"Nope – nobody knew. I got a few stares when the security and police came to talk to me, but I think everyone just assumed it was just because of the event and brushed it off. So, yeah… everything else went really smooth; Hannah and I held down the fort. You didn't miss much." The smile he flashed at her was interrupted by a new thought. "Actually, you did miss something…"

Beth furrowed her brow in confusion as Col trailed off and seemed to be looking at Darcy for his approval to tell her what it was. His look was confirmed when Beth felt Darcy's head nod slightly above her.

 _What was going on? Since when was there something between them that didn't involve her?_

"What's going on?" She blurted out before Colin could begin speaking again.

"Last night I officially announced that we will be opening a new cancer center in New York City."

"What?!" Beth exclaimed, pulling out of Darcy's embrace in her confusion and excitement. "What do you mean? I mean… I know this was in the plans, but I thought it was still a few years out before you could expand."

"It was. Until Fitz Corp completely funded the project." A brief smile crossed his face as he gave Darcy a look of thanks.

Beth felt her mouth fall open. She looked back and forth between the two of them for a moment, speechless.

"When? How?" she murmured. "Why?"

At her line of questions, Darcy took over the conversation.

"I contacted Colin after last weekend. It was one of the reasons I squared away the permit situation, so that he could put some focus into my offer," Darcy began. Beth felt her mouth going dry. _Was he trying to force her back to New York?_ His next words wiped those doubts from her mind. "I saw how much your work here means to you, Beth, and I want to support you and support your passion, but not in a controlling way. I didn't do this to force you into anything." His hand grabbed hers as he stared intently into her eyes. "I just wanted to be a part of this – for you. So, I called Colin and told him that Fitz Corp would contribute whatever funds are necessary to grow the Center to wherever he wanted – with no strings attached."

Colin interjected. "There was one string: you can stay in Boston, Beth. I was told that I couldn't just move you to New York, even though that is what we had discussed. His only request in the deal was that I let you decide where you want to work. So, the choice is yours. You will always be welcome to stay and work here in our headquarters or head up the New York clinic when it opens in a few months; the choice is yours."

Beth could only stare at him. _Her job… New York… Home._

"You don't need to decide now. I know you've been through a lot in the past twenty-four hours and now I'm dumping all of this information on you; I just thought I'd share the good news." Colin continued, seeing her stunned silence. "Like I said, it will be a few months until the clinic opens so you have plenty of time to decide. I will be happy with whatever choice you decide."

"I… thank you. It's incredible. I don't even know what to say…" Beth's words stumbled out.

"Alright, I think that's my cue. Needless to say, I've got a lot of things to get rolling now, so I'll leave you guys. I just wanted to check in on you and give you the news and my support." He smiled again, walking over to hug her stunned form before turning to Darcy and extending his hand. "Thank you, again." Darcy returned his smile and shook his hand firmly.

Beth didn't move – couldn't move – even after Colin left the room.

Darcy immediately stood in front of her grasping her hands in his. "Are you ok? Should I have asked? I just wanted it to be a surprise." The concern that he'd overstepped was potent in his tone.

"No… No. I just can't believe it." Her eyes met his, watery with tears that were about to fall.

"I just wanted to support your dreams. But, I swear to you, Beth. There is no pressure," he continued firmly. "Whether we stay up here or go back to New York - or anywhere else for that matter – I will make it work. The choice is completely yours."

"Thank you," she choked out. She didn't know what else to say; there were no words. She stared at him – at _her_ Mr. Darcy – falling further in love with him than she thought possible. There were certain – _delicious –_ parts of the old Darcy that still remained, but _this_ was the real him – the one that he'd buried and locked away, the one he'd tried to keep from her. He'd finally let her in.

Beth stared into his gaze, letting herself be completely overwhelmed by the happiness that radiated throughout her body. She could take time to think about it, but in her heart, she knew that she – that they – belonged in New York. She'd always love Boston and everything that it had done for her, everything that it had given her, but New York was her family… her friends… her home.

She pulled his hand to her face and raising up onto her tiptoes said, "Let's go home."

A smile lit over his face as his mouth came within a breath of hers. "Ah, gorgeous, you are my home." And then, gathering her into his arms, he kissed her, sealing his words deep inside of her.

"You were right," he whispered against her lips.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" she replied softly in mock offense. "And about which part?"

His chest rumbled against her with his laugh. "The third time was the charm," he explained. She moaned softly in agreement against his lips. "You know what this means, right?" His question echoed between them.

She bit her lip, shaking her head, her gaze eyed his lips craving more of his kiss.

"This means you will officially be…" He kissed her lightly as a playful smile crept over his face. "Mrs. Intolerable."

Beth laughed, her eyes lighting up with his ridiculous yet loving joke. The laugh and his love spread throughout her whole body as she pulled his face down to hers, claiming the kiss she'd desired.

 _They had both been proud and prejudiced, but finally the passionate love between them had persevered through it all._

 _Finally._


	34. Epilogue

Epilogue

"Oh my God, Beth!" Jane's concerned voice picked up the phone. "Are you ok? I've been waiting for you to call."

"Hey," Beth answered hoarsely. Her throat overworked from the emotional events of the past day. "Sorry I couldn't talk last night; I'm ok, just trying to wrap my head around everything. How's Charles?"

Jane sighed. "Hurt and upset, but not surprised. He just got back; he's been at his parents all morning. I think they'd come to terms with the fact that they haven't really known Caroline for a while now; it was hard to accept, but it was the truth. She is still their daughter, and Charles' sister, so I think that at this point, they are just hoping she will get the help that she needs; maybe someday, she will be better…"

 _Oh, Jane. The ever-hopeful one._

Beth felt tears coming to her eyes at the thought of her sister. Soon they would be back in the same city, together again, figuring out life and marriage together. She couldn't help the wave of anticipation that ran through her at the prospect; she missed her sister so much.

"Are you sure you're ok? I mean, I know Darcy said that you weren't injured."

"Yeah," Beth answered thickly. "I wasn't hurt. Darcy was the one who was actually grazed by one of the bullets, but he's fine. Just emotionally, it was a lot last night."

"I can imagine," Jane empathized.

"Truthfully, yes, I was in shock that she actually tried to shoot… tried to kill me. But, afterward, I think what was hardest to believe was that it was all finally over." Beth let out an ironic laugh, still wondering how being shot at wasn't the most unbelievable thing to her. "I don't know how to explain it. Caroline, and this whole thing, has just been plaguing us for so long – tormenting us for so long – and to think that it's finally done; she's finally gone for good…"

"I can't imagine…" Jane said softly.

"When Darcy came up here and we began to work things out between us, I think mentally I just prepared myself to have to deal with her games forever. I think I prepared myself for all of these obstacles that in one night – with one shot – were eliminated." Beth toyed with the remaining pieces of fruit on her plate from the breakfast that Darcy had ordered them. He'd suggested they eat first and then went to shower while she called Jane.

"I know things haven't been easy for the two of you; I feel like so many extrinsic influences were working to keep you apart that you couldn't focus any energy on what you had between the two of you. I'm glad that those complications are gone." Beth could hear the tears that were surely falling from her sister's eyes. "I just want you to be happy, Beth and, while I saw how mad and upset he makes you, I also saw how happy you were with Darcy."

"I feel like now, we finally get to be happy…" Beth agreed softly, hearing the shower water turn off.

"I miss you," her sister said. "Do you think you both will come down to visit soon? Dad and mom seemed to think you would. Especially mom – it was kind of weird…"

She hadn't told Jane about the conversation with her mother. _Another story for another day._

"Well, that's another reason why I was calling you…" Beth cleared the residual sadness from her throat. "We're moving back to New York."

"What?!" Jane exclaimed. "I don't understand. What about your job?"

"We're coming home. Darcy donated the funds for Pat and Colin to expand the Center into New York, and Colin offered me the position to head up the office there if I wanted."

"Oh my God, Beth! That's amazing! I'm crying –" Jane broke off and Beth heard the small sobs of happiness from the other end of the line. Jane's excitement reignited her own, tears beginning to stream down her face just as Darcy walked into the room, concern immediately overwhelming his face.

"Are you ok?" he asked softly coming over to her side.

"Yeah," she murmured. "Jane's crying… because we're… coming home..." Her words came out thick over her own emotion, but her explanation relieved Darcy, who kissed the top of her head before walking back into the bedroom to put some clothes on.

"I'm sorry, Beth…" Jane choked out. "I'm just so happy."

Beth laughed through their waterworks. "It's ok, but I haven't even told you everything yet."

"There's more?!"

"We're engaged." The news effectively putting a pause in their coherent conversation for a few minutes as they cried and laughed in happiness together.

"Oh, Beth. I'm so happy for you… so happy. After everything that has happened, I just… I'm just so happy."

"Me too," she agreed. "And I have you to thank, you know. You opened my eyes to the idea that there was another side of the story that I needed to hear. Without you, I don't know that any of this would have happened… I don't know if I would have truly gotten my happy ending."

Jane's choked sobs resonated through the line again at Beth's words. They were the truth though. She wanted to hate Darcy, she'd wanted to think of him as he was and remember what he had done… she'd wanted to think that she'd been the only one affected. But that hadn't been the truth. Jane encouraged her to set her hurt and pride aside, move past her prejudiced preconception about what she thought had happened, and find out the truth – not just for Darcy, but for herself.

"I love you, sis," she said softly as Jane's tears finally subsided.

"I'm always here for you, Beth. I love you."

"Ok, I should probably get going. Darcy and I are spending the day together celebrating. I think we'll probably come back next weekend to see everyone and give them the good news, so don't say anything to mom or dad yet." Beth implored her sister.

"Of course," Jane assured her. "That will be so wonderful. The whole family will be here."

"Really?"

"Yeah, mom just told me that Lydia is coming in for the weekend… I'm not sure why. I guess just to visit."

 _And tell everyone that she was leaving George._

At least Beth would be there now to provide support – and a distraction for their mother.

"I guess…"

Darcy came back into the room then, dressed and ready to go, his eyebrow raised at her in question.

"Ok, I gotta run!"

"Congratulations, Beth. Charles and I are so happy for the both of you. We love you."

"Love you, too."

Beth ended the forty-five-minute call with a deep sigh. So many emotions filled her, but they were all good ones; they all had her looking forward to the future – a future that she hadn't thought possible.

"How long until you're ready, gorgeous?" Darcy asked with a smile.

Beth sighed in happiness, standing from her chair and walking over to him to plant a deep, long kiss on his mouth. "I love you."

One arm came around her, his hand grabbing her ass. "Keep that up and we'll celebrate in here all day…"

Beth moaned, capturing his lower lip between her teeth and sucking it into her mouth with a devious smile. "Just give me a minute to get dressed…"

"You have one minute, _Mrs_. Intolerable," he growled. "Or I'll be keeping you in a permanent state of undress for the rest of the weekend."

She smiled again at the nickname. "I mean… we aren't in a rush, are we?" She asked seductively, her eyes darkening with desire. "I think I'd like to celebrate here for a little first." Her words dropped off as she pulled his lips back down onto hers, their kiss now molten with passion.

His hoarse groan caressed the sensitive skin of her mouth as he hoisted her up against him, wrapping her legs around his waist, and carried her back into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them. "Anything for you, gorgeous."

The End.

Thank you, everyone, for reading! I hope you enjoyed the end of this series! That's not to say there isn't more to Beth and Darcy's story, now that they can finally begin to have a normal relationship... but, that's all for now:) I'd like to give Lydia a happy ending next, which means you'll hear more about Beth and Darcy's happily ever after in her story, but I'm working on a few other projects before she'll get my focus.

Writing is hard, but I try to tell the story that my characters want the best that I can. If you loved the story, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts if you want to message me privately! Also, if you have any specific questions about the story please feel free to message me as most times, FanFiction won't let me reply to comments. Most importantly, if you have constructive criticism, I would love to hear it.

However, If you just didn't like the story and are commenting for the sake of being rude, please bear in mind that your thoughtless comments only reflect poorly on yourself. Not every story is for everyone, just as I am sure there are some who don't like Austen's original Pride and Prejudice, there are those of you who didn't enjoy my version of the tale; its just how the world works:) And as I'm sure we have all said to someone at one point in our lives - "If you don't have anything nice (or constructive) to say, don't say anything at all." So, think before you type. Know that I have dedicated hours of my time to a story that I felt was worth telling. And if you have a critique to make, do so with kindness and respect. Thank you.

If you are looking for something else to read, I've posted a novel of mine on here that is not fanfiction (gasp!) but an original story. It's called the Artist's Touch and trust me, you'll love it. Again, it is also for sale on amazon, but you can read it right here for free!

Thanks again for everyone for their support and encouragement along my journey and hopefully, I'll be back soon!

xx,

Rebecca


	35. PS

Hi everyone!

Thank you everyone for all of your kind words of support. I can't tell you how much those mean to an author. I've spent a lot of time on these stories and I'm honored to be able to share them with you on here for free. As many of you know, I do also have the books listed on Amazon for sale. You are welcome to buy them to support me (They are $4-5 for the ebook). But what I would appreciate EVEN MORE is if you would head over to Amazon and leave your review of the story. You do NOT have to purchase the book to leave a review. Readers like to hear other readers thoughts and I can't tell you how hard it is to get reviews posted on what you write. So, please. If you have a spare minute today, head on over to Amazon . com and just search third time is the charm and leave your thoughts! It doesn't have to be anything long or fancy - even just a few quick works can make an immeasurable difference :)

Thank you so much again everyone!

xx,

Rebecca


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